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18.02.2020

My torture ended last week. I turned in my art assignment on Friday and on Monday I had to turn in composition. Not gonna lie, I didn’t like the end result of composition after staying two nights over at my friend’s place and barely sleeping for two hours on presentation day. I felt ill all day long, until I left school at 10 PM having sat through all of the presentations and not having presented due to an arrangement for turning it in in September. Our facades were lacking any sort of value and we’re going to discuss it with our teacher next semester. After all of that though, I went home and slept for 14 hours. Then, I got sick probably because of all the stress and tiredness for a few days. Luckily, I’ve been good for a while, I went to a friend’s birthday party on Saturday and now, I’ve moved on to some structural details to get ready for September. I know it’s early, but I don’t want to spend all summer studying.

It’s okay to find difficulties along the way of achieving something, it’s only part of the journey. Keep your head high and keep going.

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18.02.20 // writing poetry is hard! I used to find myself writing poetry all the time, little verses that no one else would see - now I’m being graded on it, it feels like nothing good is coming out! very frustrating. 

on a happier note, I’m finally out of my reading slump! my girlfriend lent me one of her favourite books and as someone who often thinks about ditching society and abandoning my belongings for a forest, it’s interesting to read about someone who’s actually done it! 

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[1/100 days of productivity]

I’ve been working on this essay for a while as I really wasn’t happy with the grade I got on my last essay. I’m determined to make this one better. I’ve finally finished writing it, but now I just need to edit it and get it down to the word limit. Hopefully it’ll be submitted today! 💖

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It’s been a while, but I’m back 💖 I’m thinking of starting the 100 days of productivity again, as it will be exam time in 100 days so it seems a good time to start! I’ve really gotten into reading lately, and I’m loving it, but at the moment I’m just re-reading Harry Potter because I’ve got a really busy couple of weeks so just wanted to read something I didn’t have to think too much about 💕

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If you’re Dating someone with depression….

She’s going to be tired. Constantly. Don’t let her stay in bed all day. She’s not going to want to eat. Make her food any way. She’s going to want to cancel plans just to go home and watch netflix. Take her out dancing any way. She will look like she’s not in the mood to be silly. Try to make her laugh any way. She’s going to want to cry over spilled coffee. Don’t make it seem like its not a big deal or that she’s being dramatic. She’s going to be happy and sad at the same time, and I know that sounds crazy but it’s the truth. She is going to need constant reassurance that she’s beautiful. Tell her. She is going to constantly need reassurance that you’re not going to leave her. She isn’t doubting you or questioning your love, depression comes with anxiety. It comes with no appetite, sleeping 10 hours and waking up tired. It comes with the illusion of standing in a room with hundreds of people and being seen by none of them. It doesn’t make sense. It’s impossible to understand so imagine how they feel….fighting a constant internal battle. So be that support system. Reassure and love hard.

Never give up on her.

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001/100 Days of Productivity

02/10/20

Time to start fresh. It’s a new year. A new semester. Last DOP I was super close to finishing and I had about 30 days left. I didn’t want to continue where I left off because it felt wrong when the last updated post was in June. I want a blank canvas. A reminder that anything is possible and it’s what I put into it that matters. I’ve been doing some light revisions on my sociology class. Here’s to a good semester 🌟

Listening to: Holy Ground by Taylor Swift

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