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oneofthetorturedpoets · 25 days

Text

505

based on 505 by the arctic monkeys.

(not proofread)

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

you walk down a darkened street, only thing to light up the sidewalk you walked on, is one flickering street light. you look to your left, across the road.

how'd you end up here? out of all places, what lead to here? you knew what it was. it was your thoughts. too busy thinking too notice were your mind was taking you.

you turn to look both ways before running across the street. you look up at the opened sign before opening the door. the classic ding, ringing in your ear.

"you need a room?" the man at the desks asks as he sits up.

"uh yeah... for the week" you step closer to the counter.

"any specific floor?"

"yeah actually, do you have room 505 open?" he clicks around on his computer, you tap your foot, impatiently.

"we do, can I get your name and your payment?" you dig in your front pocket for your wallet.

"y/n y/ln" you toss your cash on the counter. he inputs your info into the computer before taking the cash.

"alright, you're all set, here's your room key and the wifi password. enjoy your stay."

you walk down the parking lot, like deja-vu, you look up to see '505' printed on the door. you insert the key, opening the door. the smell of the room bringing you back to your thoughts from earlier. you look towards the bed and could almost see Natasha laying there on her side. you blink and the image is gone. you should've known she was going to haunt you.

"here's the key, our room is 505. i'll grab the bags" Natasha says before jogging to the stolen car. you sigh before walking down the parking lot, reading each door as you pass. you find the room and open the door just as she's shutting the car door. you hold the door open for her as she slips in, dropping your bags to the floor.

"it's nice" you try, she nods shortly.

"yeah, hopefully we don't get bored of it." she walks over to the bathroom area, taking off her jacket at the same time. you follow, grabbing the jacket before she tosses it to the floor. she smiles shyly at you. you look down at her blood-stained white tank top. she goes to pull it off but flinches. you urgently step forward.

"let me, nat" you lead her arms through the holes and slowly pull it over her head, revealing the dirty gauze on her side. you reach for it, pulling it off as gently as you could. "it looks infected." you comment. you lead her into the small toilet area and push her to sit down on the lid. you grab the motel towel and get it damp before starting to clean her wound. you try to ignore her staring.

"you think they followed us?" you shake your head.

"no, I saw them crash."

"how long do we have to stay here?" nat questions as she paces back and forth, her phone close to her ear. "are you serious? what about food and the payment for the motel?" she sighs "alright, ill talk to you soon, bye" she throws her phone on the bed, she sits by it.

"how long are we staying?" you lean on her, she lightly rubs your head.

"5-7 months."

"as long as its with you" she smiles tiredly.

you lay facing Natasha as she sleeps, trying to memorize every detail of her face. its been two months into your hideout, you've fallen for her. you both had no other choice but to get to know each other, going from strictly co-workers to something that has to be more than friends, you're not sure.

Natasha begins to stir, knocking you out of your thoughts, she opens her eyes, smiling she meets your stare.

"goodmoring, detka." she mumbles, before stretching out her arms. she goes to get up but you pull her back down. she inches away, close enough to kiss. her eyes flash to your lips, back up to your eyes. she leans in, laying her lips on yours. you lean into her, putting as much passion you could into the kiss. she melts into, kissing back harder. she climbs on top of me, one hand on my check, they other on my waist. she lightly pulls my hair, then pulls away.

“i’ve been wanting to do that for so long” she laughs as she talks.

“so have i” she just stares at you for a while, running her hand along your check, laying kisses on your neck.

weeks after your first kiss, you were confused by the situation. you guys didn’t mention the kiss, it was like it never happened.

Natasha sits at the desk, typing on her computer. you watch as she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, focusing on what she was writing.

"Natasha" you call out, she doesn't respond. "nat" she peaks over her shoulder. "can we talk?" she nods and closes her laptop. you watch her walk over to you, sitting next to you.

"what's wrong, baby?" you turn to face her.

"what are we?" her eyebrows pinch in confusion.

"what do you mean?" you shake your head.

"you know what I mean, nat... you kissed me and its like you forgot about it. I just want to know if it meant something to you." she grabs your hands, gently squeezing them.

"it did mean something, im sorry for not clarifying my feelings for you. I've been in love with you since the start of this mission, I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else. If you would take me, I want to be yours." you can't help the smile that spreads on your face.

now five months into your mission, Natasha is getting antsy.

"I don't think I can be in this room any longer, I feel like I don't have any space away from you." Natasha said exasperatedly.

you knew what she was saying because you felt it too. every time you too disagreed, there was no where for you to cool down. you both felt trapped. "Natasha-"

she interrupts your sentence. "shut up. I can't stand to hear you talk. just- let me use you for tonight." she walks up to you, pulling you into an mind-breaking kiss.

that's how most of your nights ended. her using you for her own pleasure. not that you minded, necessarily.

"you two are good to leave, please make your way back to the compound as soon as possible." both you and Natasha sigh in relief.

after you two pack up the little things that you had, Natasha grabs both of your hands. "I promise to be better to you when we are out of here. I know I haven't been what you deserve but when we are able to have our own normal lives, things will get better."

you smiled gently at her. "I know, my love." you kiss her, trying to show that you forgive everything.

"I just need space for a few more days, baby. I swear it's nothing you did, it's just- the whole hotel and all of the time we spent together nonstop, I just want to have a few nights for myself to recuperate." Natasha said as she shut the door to her room.

you two went from spending every waking second together to only seeing each other passing in the hallway. it didn't feel like you two were a couple anymore. you couldn't even remember the last time you two had kissed. it felt like 5 months you two were dating, didn't mean anything to her.

you show up at her room door, you knock a few times. "Natasha, it's me. we need to talk." the door slowly swings open, revealing Natasha in a white robe, looking as beautiful as ever. her curled red hair laying just below her shoulders, her green eyes holding your world. this is going to hurt worse than you thought.

"hey, y/n. come in." she moved over, creating space for you to walk past her. when you did, her perfume took over your senses. "is everything okay?"

you shook your head. "no, nothing is okay. why do I feel like I'm losing you? I mean I get that the months we had in the hotel were rough, I felt it too, but why does it feel like you don't even want to try to have a normal relationship? it feels like we're back to were we started." Natasha grabs your hand.

"i'm so sorry I'm hurting you, y/n. I just- I don't think I can do the whole relationship thing. the time we shared together was amazing but I think I realized I can't do it. commitment scares me and I don't want to do anything to hurt you more." with every word she says, it feels like your heart is being ripped from your chest.

after the break up, the team took Natasha's side. you had obviously expected that, they were closer to her than they were to you. what you never expected was the way they treated you.

every time you entered the kitchen and they were there, you got at least one dirty look, almost as if you did something wrong. Tony took everything he has given you away, including your dresser, night stand and bed frame. Steve has gone ten times hard on you during your sparing sessions. Bruce has refused to fix the hole in your suit, causing many malfunctions during battle. Clint has outright cussed you out, yelling at you for 'hurting' Natasha. Thor was the only one who was nice enough to ignore you.

you weren't sure what hurt you the most, the fact that none of them ever asked what happened, they just assumed you hurt Natasha and deserved to be punished or the fact that Natasha never corrected them.

it's now been a year since Natasha broke it off with you and you're still haunted of her. as you sit in the same hotel room that changed your life. since the break up, you have since quit the avengers, you felt more like a prisoner than a friend to all of them. you have been on the run from them for a few months now, since they declared you a fugitive.

you're not sure why you're back here. you thought you had moved on from Natasha. the whole in your heart half way patched up. as you sit in the old chair that was sat in the corner of the room, you stare out the window, watching as the rain starts to pick up. you see a figure just outside, in the middle of the parking lot. you slowly stand up, peeking out of the blinds as you watch it walk forwards. as it inches closer, you recognize her curves, the same ones you spent every night studying. you open your door, the wind slightly catching you off guard. Natasha finally close enough for you to see her face.

"what are you doing here?" Natasha says, you scoff.

shaking your head. "I could ask you the same thing... how did you find me?"

she chuckled. "I didn't mean to. I think we are here for the same reason. I'm running from the law now too." hearing her voice hurt more than you thought it would. "do you mind if I stay with you? I don't have any more money for a room, I figured id just break into one and stay for a night... but if you don't mind, I think it would be easier?"

you contemplate for a minute, your gut is telling you not to let her in, but you do anyways, slowly moving over for her to come in. she walks in, sighing at the warmth. she takes her jacket off, about to throw it on the floor but you take it from her before she can. the deja-vu making your stomach turn. she smiles at you, innocently.

"you know... I've missed you. I really have. when I found out you left, I felt like I really lost you." you roll your eyes at her statement.

"you lost me a while ago, Natasha." her eyebrows raise at your hostile tone.

she looks down at her feet, almost nervously. "I know, and I regret that night everyday. I was stupid to let you go."

she steps closer to you, clearly holding herself back from reaching out to you. "Natasha" her name came out more pathetic than you wanted, as you hold back tears.

"detka, I am really sorry for the way that I was. I swear I took this time to reflect on how everything played out and I am embarrassed for how I treated you." you turn around, not wanting her to see you cry. you brought the sleeve of your long sleeved shirt, up to your eyes, trying to stop your tears from falling. Natasha turned you back around, gently grabbing your hands, holding them. "you deserve so much better than how I was... I know I never said it before but I love you. with every inch of me, I love you. you have set my world on fire and I stomped it out because I was scared of how much I loved you. please, let me make it up to you." all of your tears seemed to fall at once as you practically fell into Natashas chest, looking for the comfort you never had.

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