#what's wrong with me

[theladycarpathia]

Billy’s not expecting the call from his dad.

“Billy?” Hop sounds distant, the faint sound of an idling engine in the background. Billy blinks, because his dad is at work and as far as Billy knows that usually means sitting behind a desk at the station and arguing with Flo.

“Don’t you have paperwork to be doing?” Billy says and Hopper snorts. There’s the sound of background traffic that’s then shut out by the clang of a car door.

“Don’t give me cheek, I am still the chief,” Hopper says as though that means anything in a small town where the most crime that they get is some drunk idiot attempting to rob the gas station.

“Yes, sir,” Billy quips and changes the channel. No one else is home and he’s bored. Jon and Joyce are still at work, and El and Will are doing weird nerd activities. The diner didn’t have a shift for him today and he doesn’t have a date, so he came home. He’d half expected someone to be here, instead of getting stuck with a protein bar and old reruns.

“That’s more like it,” Hopper says and then clears his throat awkwardly. “I was just wondering…are you definitely single?”

“Dad,” Billy says, attention now fully away from the TV set. Hop’s called him before, to ask him shit like do they need milk and to take the trash out. He doesn't call to talk about Billy's love life. They never talk about that, not after that time Hopper came in his room without knocking. “What is your next question, because this could make the next family dinner a little uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Hopper gripes. There’s the sudden cackle of laughter in the background and Billy sits up.

“Are you with someone?” he asks and then sucks in a breath at the implications. “Did you put me on speaker?”

“I may have done,” Hopper says, sounding sheepish. “I just picked up a young man outside the movie theatre and he’s about your age…”

“I’m nineteen!” the mystery guy hollers from the backseat. Hopper keeps talking like the guy hadn’t spoken.

“I don’t know, I just thought he was your type.”

Billy presses a hand to his temple, unable to believe that his dad has just said those words. “What’s my type?” he asks, wondering if he’s going to combust right here and now. Hopper makes that little awkward throat clearing again, like he can’t believe the situation either.

“You know,” he says stiffly. “Sort of…pretty.”

Oh God. Billy can never look Hopper in the eye again.

“You think I’m pretty?” the guy asks curiously, and Billy can’t blame him for sounding a bit weirded out.

“I think you look like a lot of the doe-eyed pretty-boys my son brings home,” Hopper snaps. Despite his obvious discomfort, Billy can’t help the rush of affection at Hopper trying to be supportive. Neil would have beat the shit out of him. Hopper tries to hook him up with appropriately aged delinquents in the back of the police car.

“A lot?” the guy asks and Billy flushes. He then regrets it because he has no idea if he even wants to impress whatever guy Hopper has picked up.

“It’s not a lot,” he says defensively because Hawkins isn’t exactly big on the gay scene. His last boyfriend he met at Tina’s Halloween party and to be fair, if you wear a kilt and not a lot else to a party in October, Billy’s absolutely going to beg you to rail him in the downstairs cloakroom. The relationship hadn't exactly worked out.

“Look, I get the feeling I’m never going to hear the end of this so here’s the situation,” Hopper says, sounding tired. “This is my son, Billy. He’s about to finish high school, he likes cars and burgers and loud music. He has shit taste in men even though he’s attractive, clever and a smart mouth. Billy, this is Steve. I was on my way back from the mayor’s office when I caught him peeing in an alley. Judging by his big brown eyes and the fact that public nudity doesn’t seem to be a problem for him, I thought of you.”

“Aww,” Billy drawls, sitting back on the couch. There are lights in the drive so someone has just arrived home. Which is good because he needs to tell everyone this story so they can give Hopper shit about it over dinner. “Pops, that’s so sweet.”

“Don’t say I never do anything for you,” Hopper says, like he hasn’t already done everything for Billy by getting him out, giving him a home. “I’ll take an extra polaroid when I process him.”

“I had to take a leak!” Steve protests and Hopper sucks in air through his teeth.

“There are public bathrooms, kid, I’ve heard those work pretty well. Billy, help your mom with dinner when she gets home.” Sucks for Hopper, it’s Jon heading up the path, keys dangling from his fingers. Billy can’t wait to tell him this story.

“Or what, you won’t bring me any more dates?” Billy asks, but he’s only half-joking. Hopper means well and kind of fucks it up a lot but this time he might have hit it right on the money. He thinks he might like Steve.

“Do I get a picture?” Steve asks. “Or does the Hawkins Police just pimp out young innocent men with full bladders?”

Oh yeah. He’s definitely going to like Steve.

“I have a picture on my desk,” Hopper admits grumpily. There’s the jangle of keys in the door as Jonathan lets himself in. “You can look at it if you’re good.”

“And what if I’m not?” Steve asks and Jonathan walks in just in time to raise his eyebrows at Billy.

“I can help punish him, if he’s not,” Billy suggests, and Hopper hangs up the phone just as Steve begins to laugh.

This has probably been done before because it's based on that famous tumblr post but it's so dull during school holidays I have nothing to do but write. And I have no in progress Harringrove fics which is probably a problem I should fix.

#harringrove #ficlet #billy hargrove #steve harrington #jim hopper #hopper being a well meaning but slightly awkward dad has my heart #he'll tell this story at their wedding #as revenge for billy telling everyone that hop set him up #seriously though I have a dozen fics in progress rn #not one of them is harringrove #what's wrong with me

[devinetly-11]

IN IT FOR THE MONEY

.---------------$$$----------------.

Rodrick Heffley x AMAB!Reader // SMUT

(reader has a penis but is always regarded with they/them. there is no name either. your name is your pronoun)

YOU'RE BOTH AROUND THE SAME AGE!!

Summary: Rodrick gives the reader head in a public bathroom for 150$ :3 (it's not really only for the money)

Content warnings: public/semi-public sex (theyre in a bathroom) getting caught (kind of?), cum swallowing, blowjobs, palming as masturbation, face-fucking, choking & gagging (it's okay because he likes it), sub!rodrick, dom!reader, hair pulling, inexperienced!rodrick, praise kink

-

Rodrick was kneeling, the dips of the tiled floor leaving indents on his knees, but the rush and pleasure of sucking someone's dick in a public restroom easily overshadowed the discomfort. If either of them were too loud, they could be easily found out, and it made him shiver with excitement; the risk of getting caught in this little scheme... His stomach fluttered at the thought of it. The adrenaline spurred him on.

There were the uncomfortable sounds and grunts of overs in the stalls beside them, but only thing he could focus on was pleasuring the person sitting down on the covered seat of the toilet in front of him. Besides, the light haze of pleasure that laid over his mind made his thoughts almost fuzzy. He could barely bring his attention to anything but the cock shoved down his throat.

"Mmm...that's it, baby," they groaned.

Rodrick blushed a nice shade of red as he glanced up shyly, and the corners of his mouth curved up into a little smile around the dick in his mouth.

The blowjob was sloppy, messy, and clearly wasn't the best. But since Roddy here was inexperienced, they had to give him some slack. He'd managed to take their length into his mouth nicely, and even if his hands were hesitant as he gripped the base of it, he was stroking whatever of their length he hadn't put into his mouth. It wasn't the worst, and if push came to shove, they were open to fucking his face whether he liked it or not; He needed to work for the 150$ that he swore was the only reason he was doing this for.

But they knew those glances he'd throw at them in the halls. They felt his eyes on them everytime he thought he was being discreet about checking them out. They knew the needy and almost dreamy looks he gazed at them with whenever they entered the room.

The temptation of money and a bribe wasn't the only thing that prompted him to accepting their offer.

"Keep going." A grin grew on their face as their grip tightened in Rodrick's hair. "You're doing so well, baby."

He let out a soft moan at the sting of it, the sound reverberating up their cock as he bobbed his head up and down with hallowed cheeks.

It wasn't like they said it with empty words either. Despite it's mediocrity, they could already feel their gut twisting into knots as their orgasm approached.

"Ah..." they moaned softly, a low, drawn out sound that had Rodrick's heart stuttering in arousal. They bucked their hips up into Rodrick's mouth. A snicker left their lips when the drummer sputtered on their dick in turn, gagging softly.

Their amusement only furthered when he'd glared up at them for that. And god, with a face like that--flushed a pretty red and his brows furrowed in frustration, saliva dripping down his chin--they couldn't help but bite their lip.

"What?" They teased. "Can't someone enjoy themself?"

More focused on the task at hand than focused on responding to them with his mouth occupied, Rodrick rolled his eyes and bobbed his head again.

He squirmed slightly on the cool flooring of the restroom, rubbing his thighs together in attempt to relieve the uncomfortable feeling standing at attention in his pants while he sucked them off. He'd been like this the moment they'd offered him money to suck them off: painfully hard, from the first thought about the erotic scene they painted into his head, and from now. His own weeping cock was slowly spilling in his boxers, pre-cum beading and leaking out the tip, entirely neglected, untouched, and desperate for attention. Just like he was.

Their dick was heavy on his tongue, and he could feel the vein that ran along the bottom of it's length as he sucked on it. His gut churned hot with arousal and excitement as he bobbed his head. Every second felt like a jolt of electrifying pleasure ran through him, knowing that this was them who he was sucking off, that it was them who had him on his knees and his dick so hard he could've cried, but made him hold back from touching himself because they'd told him to. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. It didn't feel real, but he knew it was. He listened intently to their soft moans and groans, matching them with a breathy moan of his own as he tasted them. There was the salty, bitter, flavor of their pre-cum dripping into his mouth when he ran his tongue over the tip of their dick.

It felt warm, throbbing with his lips around it, and he felt like he had been set on fire with utter desire.

He looked back up at them when they demanded his attention with a tug of his hair. A soft whimper was stifled around their dick as it left his bruised, plump, lips.

"Fuck yeah, good boy. Keep your eyes up here, yeah?" Rodrick heard them pant out, with their voice low and heavy with pleasure, and he did his absolute best to do what they'd said.

He had to fight to keep from touching himself even as their fingers tangled within his hair and held tightly, rolling their hips up into his mouth as they took charge and forced his head up and down their length like a fleshlight.

Rodrick's hands scrambled for purchase, finding themselves gripping their thighs as they practically fucked his face. His mind went fuzzy as his gut burned with desire as hot as his crotch. He fought for breath as they thrusted right into his mouth.

God, he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to jerk himself off so badly at that point. He was absolutely relishing the fact that he was being used by them for their own pleasure. Just by experiencing their dick hit deep inside his throat as he gagged and choked around it felt as if it was enough to get him off.

He let one of his hands let go of their thigh as he pressed a palm down hard on his own raging boner, barely able to stop himself after accidentally jerking his hips up into his own touch. Just some pressure...it wasn't going against their requests if he wasn't jerking off, was it?

Their fingers dug into his scalp, and his into the fabric of their sweatpants, as they brought his head up and down. He gagged, a disgusting concoction of spit, saliva, and pre-cum dripping from his lips as he moaned. "Some pressure" turned to him palming himself roughly, desperately, pathetically.

"Shit, shit, fuck- God, yes, Rodrick," they moaned, along with some other obscene language his foggy mind couldn't quite understand as he was entirely focused on the pounding of their cock against the insides of his throat. God, he would not be able to speak properly after this.

Their movements noticeably had gotten sloppier, not that it was as obvious to Rodrick as he palmed himself furiously, whining around their cock as his hips jerked, sensitive.

Finally--finally--after what felt like both too long and too short of them fucking his face, Rodrick heard a particularly loud moan leave them as they came. A shudder went through their body while a hot rush of thick, creamy, cum filled Rodrick's mouth, and he whimpered when--at the very same time--they lowered his head all the way down to their groin.

The thick load of cum paired with their dick still stuffed down his throat provoked another gag as he was kept down there, choking as his mind blanked. Spit? Or swallow? Would he be gross and disgusting for taking it down? Fuck, but he wanted to so badly.

It was dripping down his throat. God, it was so much.

But he let it sit in his mouth for now, letting the salty flavor marinate over his tongue as they kept their dick nestled in his mouth. He couldn't decide yet while he still chased his high, pressing his palm down against his groin and bucking his hips. It felt so fucking good.

They were slowly moving his head up and down their dick as they fucked his throat through their orgasm. He could feel their cum being fucked down his throat as he gagged, almost choking on it as he struggled for steady breathing. It was difficult to properly focus. It felt like he couldn't at all--his mind was scrambled.

He let out stifled moans and whimpers around their cock as he palmed his own, the pressure building up inside him like a tsunami. Then, the waves crashed down, blanking everything for a glorious minute, as he shivered and came. Cum squirted out in an uncomfortable, sticky, mess into his boxers and pants, being spread down to his inner thighs as he squirmed.

He tried to manage his heavy, laboured, breathing while he was still kept on their dick like a cockwarmer. Fuck, did he love it though. He wouldn't mind staying here, kneeling on the cold tiles of a public bathroom, warming their dick in his mouth for hours--

With a pleasured sigh, they finally pulled Rodrick's head off their dick with an erotic wet sound. He was almost disappointed.

"Open wide..."

He coughed and found himself falling limp against their legs, quivering from his orgasm. Parting his lips let their cum dribble out his mouth and back onto their dick, so he swallowed down the sticky fluid before licking a stripe up their cock to get all that cum.

It throbbed against his tongue as he made contact, sensitive with overstimulation slowly setting in, and he heard a hiss from above him. From them.

"Ah..."

Rodrick couldn't believe he was doing this. It was so gross but so...sexy too. His face burned with both humiliation and excitement, feeling their eyes on him as he licked up their cum with a foggy mind. Once he was done, panting, he rested his head down on their thigh.

He gazed up at them to meet their eyes, sighing as their grip in his hair loosened to slowly comb through his locks.

"Good job," he heard them say. "You did so good for me..." Rodrick shivered at the praise, letting out a soft, breathy, whimper in response.

Then, another voice, that was very distinctly not them--

"Yo, who the fuck had sex in here?"

Shit.

#rodrick heffley #rodrick x reader #rodrick rules #male reader #smut #doawk rodrick #doawk #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #rodrick smut #bottom rodrick #money is money #what's wrong with me #what's wrong with you #dom!reader #gender neutral reader

[me-when-cancer]

@paradoxbeta

Your Moon. I love it. she's adorable. She gives me life. All praise le Moon.

#She close #you got porl? Neuronne? #got games on yo phone? #why did I only shade three things #why not the whole thing #what's wrong with me #I'll do a yippee next #looks to the moon #rain world #rain world downpour #rw downpour #five pebbles #rain world iterator #rain world art #a gift from me #👀 I did lineless art

[luckydrunk]

Her,,,  (This isn’t my favourite 4 star of hers but it’s my favourite of her outfits)

#kanade yoisaki #kanade project sekai #Project Sekai #pjsk #colourful stage #Fanart #myart #art #Illustration #pastel #25 ji nightcord de #pjsekai #I draw so many people sitting down #what's wrong with me #this was supposed to be a warmup but her hair was too fun #kanade

[jessfandrawer]

"If you wanna buy me flowers, just go ahead now." - Two Princes, The Spin Doctors

Hey, it's finished! In addition to liking the story/moment idea, it's a bit of a style test to see if doing a longer comic like this is feasible. I think it is? But yeah, it would take me a long time. Drawing, coloring, and lettering everything was a ton of work! It's nice to get some comic making practice though.

This is pure sugar, so I apologize for any dental work you may need after reading.

Edit: Variegated tulips mean "beautiful eyes" in flower language in case nobody was wondering.

Link to the bonus page 😉

#my art #fan comic #hellcheer #eddissy #fluff #digital art #special guest #wayne munson #that post-gig glow #the sparkles are Chrissy-vision #drawing consistently? #who's she? #I'd like to get to know her #his nose looks different every time I see it #what's wrong with me #eddie x chrissy #munningham #two princes #also 3/4 Eddie was a freakin' nightmare this time #had to give up on fixing it #for my sanity

[exotic-dinostuff]

Fox kisses :)

Alt version 🦊

#what's wrong with me #art #murder drones #murder drones fanart #anthro #critter drones au #my art #murder drones doll #murder drones lizzy #murder drones dizzy #md dizzy #doll x lizzy #CD!au

[saltygilmores]

I made a clip of Milo saying Ya Kiss Me 10 times in a row. If you let it loop, he will Ya Kiss Me into infinity and beyond. (I know we all want to see his pretty face but the best angle for his soundbyte had him facing away from the camera. Not to mention, Alexis' blinking somehow makes it funnier).

#milo ventimiglia #Jess Mariano #Haunted Leg #Rory Gilmore #Gilmore Girls #Ya Kiss Me #I'm deranged #what's wrong with me

[peterb-aka-reason-to-life]

Why are men in pink bathrobes so hot?

#what's wrong with me #across the spiderverse #peter b parker #atsv #peter b. parker #pretty in pink #pink bathrobe

[kindastressedbutok]

She's mesmerizing, my favorite character.

#jinx #jinx league of legends #arcane #netflix #mesmerizing #💙💙💙 #gif #series #fell for her #what's wrong with me

[dhmis-autism]

made 2 mini animatics for the discord in the span of 2 days. im deranged.

#and doodles on top of that and a full inked page of things and #what's WRONG WITH ME #DYING OF DRAWING TOO MUCH DISEASE #me postings

[solradguy]

I ended up getting a boxless, manual-less, copy of Dirge of Cerberus for like $13 instead of getting one of the like fuckin >$45 ones just to have the little dumb book because I remembered the custom case I drew for my Gamecube copy of Ocarina of Time that also did not have a case or a manual and it filled me with joy imagining making one for Vinny Valentine's Wacky Wahoo Adventures

#photopost #my stuff #Ganon in the back has nunchakus it's kinda hard to tell because this pic sux sorry lol #I've heard only negative things about Dirge of Cerberus I'm so excited #<- One of only 5 people that didn't completely hate Devil May Cry 2 #I love shitty video games so much. Yesss yesss give me NOTHING queen #Thinking about how I beat DMC2 with both Lucia and Dante but I never beat The Witcher 3 or Elden Ring #What's wrong with me #I hope my ps2 still works. It's buried under like an inch of dust

[aroaceeternalbeing]

Tony : I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Steve : Um...Neat.

*later*

Steve, lying face down on his bed : I said "Neat," Bucky. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.

Bucky, reading a book : Don't beat yourself up too much, Steve. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Sam confessed his love for me?

Steve : Didn't you thank him ?

Bucky : *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked him.

#He panicked okay ?? Leave him alone #stevetony #stony #tony stark #steve rogers #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #incorrect marvel quotes #It's like 2:30a.m right now and this is what I'm doing #I should be sleeping #but i'm not #I'll have to “wake up” in 4hours and I haven't even closed my eyes once #i'm going to be exhausted tomorrow #what's wrong with me

[blakbonnet]

THEY SAID THE SHOW IS THE RELATIONSHIP BUT I NEVER BELIEVED? 😭

#what's wrong with me #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers

[montysoup]

Is it possible that the reason I get so angry when seeing other ships containing characters I ship with other characters, is because in my mind they become canon and seeing them with anyone else makes me feel so violently sad cause it feels like cheating?

Or is the reason I get angry/ violently sad because I fuckin feel for one-sided pining and as I previously said, in my mind these feelings are canon and 'if this guys with this other guy (that I don't ship them with) then the other guy (that I do ship with them) is obviously pining and hurting' and because that stuff like physically hurts me it y'know.. It makes me ill.

#kinda joking #not much though #what's wrong with me #soukoku #tddk #saiouma #bagginshield #aralas #merthur #and so on #soup yapping

[schmergo]

You've heard of the Golden Globes, now get ready for the Golden Grobes!

Best Actor in a Musical Named Josh Groban: Josh Groban Best Actor in a TV Special Named Josh Groban: Josh Groban Best Male Vocalist Named Josh Groban: Josh Groban Who Would Win In A Fight, Josh Groban or an Immortal Multi-Dimensional Psychic Entity from the Dawn of Time?-- Trick question, they're the same person Best Guest Appearance by Josh Groban: Josh Groban Best Catchphrase: "It's Grobin' Time!"-- Josh Groban

#Josh groban #golden globes #what's wrong with me #I have been making jokes about josh groban for 15 years now but I actually love him

[zadig-fate]

I really don't know what happened, whether it was the MV that really made an impact for me or not, but like

when I first heard everybody's waiting on wednesday I thought, oh I like it more than I thought based on the teasers, it's fine I guess?

listened to it a few more times and was like, yeah, it's ok.

but today I'm watching the MV and when they get to the line "no one's ever gonna make it easier" suddenly it's like a fucking gut punch of emotion??? I'm actually blinking back tears??????

I was rolling my eyes at all the "omg I'm crying" posts but holy shit the song snuck up from behind and actually fucking got me

#i can't fucking believe it #for the last two days I've been like “yeah whatever it's fine” #and I still think it's “fine” #but now it's making me actually weepy???? #fuck you that's not ok #what's wrong with me #joker out #everybody's waiting