Bucky: Who the fuck broke the toaster?
Y/N: It was Sam.
Steve: It was Sam.
Natasha: Sam broke it.
Sam:
Sam: ...yOU PROMISED-
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Sam: There’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.
Bucky, from the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.
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words by @headcanonthings
I'm really loving these incorrect quotes lately.
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Sam and Bucky seeing Peter without his mask for the first time.
Sam: *horrified* That's a child.
Bucky: *equally horrified* I can see that.....
Sam: We fought a child.
Bucky: No, we lost a fight to a child!
Sam: That's worse.
Bucky: It-it could be better.
Sam: We fought like hell, it is not better.
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Basically Every Captain America Movie
Steve: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Bucky a little bit.
Sam or Dum Dum (Ignore the time period), holding Steve's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Steve: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Sam or Dum Dum: My mistake.
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Bucky: There are only three ways to do things: the legal way, the illegal way, and the Steve way.
Sam: Isn't the Steve way just the illegal way?
Bucky: Yes but it's faster and he gets away with it.
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Bucky : “I feel like we're starting to lose the ''b'' in our «bromance», bro.”
*Sam, pausing from kissing Bucky's neck* : “Hmph?”
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*The Avengers helping cleaning up after a battle*
Steve: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away.
Sam, to Bucky: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—
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Bucky, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Natasha, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Sam: Jolteon, I choose you.
Steve, trembling: What are we playing??
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Sam: I am an expert at identifying birds. I'm THE Falcon.
Bucky: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?
Sam: Yeah, they're all birds.
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Loki, visiting the squad: Hello, I just came to-
Loki: *sees Y/N shoving Bucky into the washing machine while Sam records, and Tony watches*
Loki: *Leaving slowly* something suddenly came up...
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Kate: What did you get Yelena for her birthday?
Y/N: I got her a dog.
Kate: Really? Me too!
Sam: I also got her a dog!
Bucky: Looks like we had the same idea.
Y/N: Scott, please tell me you didn’t get Yelena a dog as well.
Scott: I got her a dog!
[cuts to Yelena surrounded by dogs]
Yelena: THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!
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Words are from @incorrectquotesmcu
I just had to draw it 😂
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Steve: You bought a taco?
Sam: Yeah
Steve: From the same truck that hit Bucky?
Sam:
Sam: Well me starving ain’t gonna help him!
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Bucky: Is this your plan B?
Sam: Technically, this is plan P.
Bucky: Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Sam: Yes, but you marry Steve in plan M.
Steve, who is retired but bored so he's listening in: I like plan M.
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