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We’d both agreed to a quiet, private wedding. Just me, Luke, and Willem, the guy Luke shares his body with.

Willem knew a friend who owned a beachfront villa in Tuscany, so we decided we’d get married on the balcony overlooking the sea. Kind of like royals greeting the crabs and clamshells. That’s what I said to Luke to win him over on the whole wedding plan. He’s a sucker for imagination.

As usual, getting through immigration proved to be a mess. Willem and Luke both had to go through extensive ID checks because the Italian officials weren’t all that caught up with co-hosted bodies. It took us a couple of hours, but I imagine it could’ve been worse.

On the drive to the villa, we rented an open-top Ferrari: a final indulgence from Willem’s friend. It even had a note on the dashboard wishing us a ‘glorious’ wedding. Willem turned the note over and snickered at what it said. I caught a glimpse before he hid the note. It said “Willem, you’re the real winner! ;)”

It left a bitter taste in my mouth through the drive, and Willem and Luke both noticed. I didn’t want to let on that I stole a glance at the note, but I didn’t want to pretend I was happy, either. Luke never liked it when I pretended to be happy. As for Willem—I don’t think he cared.

The villa looked old, like it was made the mid-20th century. Getting to it was pleasant, and the villagers looked happy to see us. Or maybe they were happy to see the car. Either way, it was a sunny afternoon when we arrived, and the smell of the sea was intoxicating, and the clouds were bright just like in the movies.

That night, I wondered if maybe we could evict Willem from Luke’s body. There was no way to ask Luke this without Willem listening, so I just ran through the conversation in my head instead.

Luke would probably insist that it wasn’t his body anymore, it was a shared body. I’d ask if maybe they could just consider it, regardless of the semantics. Willem would listen, quietly, attentively, like a panther preparing to pounce. Luke would probably dismiss the notion. “It’s worked out so far,” he’d say. “And besides, this is how you know me. This is how we fell in love and decided we’d get married in the first place. If you evict Willem, then we’re not the same anymore, do you understand?”

He hadn’t said any of that. And yet, in my mind, he had.

While we sat by the fireplace, both of us reading books, I stole a glance at him. Someone—either Luke or Willem—glanced back at me and smiled.

The day of the wedding was thankfully free of too many clouds. The sun looked so welcoming, it made me recall Greek myths of Helios. He’d stopped his chariot for us, to bless us with his warmth. The sea was loud enough to fill all of our silences. The balcony was just large enough for two.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you,” I said.

“This is the part where we put the rings on, right?” he laughed.

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I prefer longhand.

I love that it slows down my inner pace, from anxious and hurried, to meditive and intentional.

It slows down time.

unleashes creativity.

Possibilities branch onto the page, and I am soon swinging like a monkey in its natural habitat, no predators - the worry, doubt, internal scoffing - can reach me.

Longhand defies the status quo.

Longhand loosens the ink.

Loosens the mind.

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An update on my Devil May Cry fanfic.

There’s been changes to this serialblog. I changed the title as well as decided to rename my alter ego as Alicia Strong. Alicia is my middle name. I hope no one minds.

- Natalie Alicia Norment

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Heartsore

She always said she loved me. I just responded that I will always be there for you. I loved her like there is no tomorrow. I loved her stupid rants, her work stories, her friends’ insanse stories, her boyfriend’s breakup stories, her emotional stories with tears, her adventurous shopping, her 3am maggi, her late night fun chats and above all, her smile. The sound of her laughter brings me back to life. Her smile fills me with great joy and pride. I could have brought the moon and the stars for her smile. I would have done anything in the world to make her smile back at me. My heart aches when I see tears rolling down her beautiful cheeks. It pains me a lot when she smiles at others. Yay…. I have been kind of a possessive guy. I always want to safeguard her. I never wanted to see her broken or hurt.


One day, after a movie….

I : What do you like the most about me ?

She immediately replied

She : The way you hold my hand whenever we go somewhere. I simply love it.

Laughs….


After a few days, while dropping her home, I was not ready to leave her hand. She said she wanted to show me something and very cutely asked to leave her hand. I left her hand. She took out a big maroon colored envelope from her bag and handed over. She invited me to the event and went inside.


When I looked at the invitation, my heart skipped a beat. I realised I could never tell her how much I loved her with all my heart….. I could never hold that hand ever in my life again…..


It was her wedding invitation !!!

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image

when all the light cannot save you

out of the null and void

you choose to be blue.

they don’t ask you of the

dearth of colours you were offered

how all the bright ones were

kept so far that your legs

couldn’t carry you

how your bleeding fingers

reached out to blue and didn’t

taint it purple.


they only saw you, a destitute

they only saw the blue on you.


blue. look up to the skylight.

you’re talking to a silhouette.

a ghost, a soon-to-be ghost.

when all the light cannot save you

i’ve seen you sit in the shadows

not caring if the world mourns

not caring if they look for you

and where will they? in whose cradle

under whose kiss, in whose embrace?


tonight, even if apollo holds me

in his golden arms, i will be a suction

a black hole that he gleams next to

and his tears will burn red over my face

even gods mourn, they scream like madmen

when all their light cannot save us.


when all the light cannot save you

you sort of choose to be blue.

me? a silhouette

a soon-to-be ghost.

like the skylight, like you

painted, hued, tainted

blue.


— p. // when all the light cannot save you

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