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but they promised, the poets promised, they told me it wouldn’t be like this.

they said my mess was elegance, they said my flaws were perfections.

he will love you, they whispered hypnotically, he will love only you.

i was stupid, so so stupid, to listen to their bullshit. it was all bullshit.

i look in the mirror sometimes and i see a ghost, or something like that.

a phantom, a remnant, a void.

how could anyone ever love emptiness?

how could anyone ever love

a girl like me?

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tara love / i’ll keep running in circles until my legs give in
Drinking, swimming in danger, wasting everything I have, none of it helps, but I still do it. Everyone says it does, so I like to fool myself into believing I’m swallowing an antidote to you, to this pain. All this hangs on lies, but so was everything I had hope in.
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Wish me luck.

It’s been so long I felt in love.

In the stories above everyone is happy.

I left people behind and now they’re happy.

What does that say about me?

The sentiment slips off my fingers,

Hugs and kisses, it’s all just gests.

I wish I could give it to you, but my best’s

Long forgotten, help me find it if you have the guts.

All my friends are wasted,

All my friends are falling for something.

Either you take the pill,

Or watch your will drown with the water you drink.

I threw the meds down the sink,

Now what do I do?

Tell me what to do,

While never getting too close.

I’ve had too many of those.

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Amount of seasons to go canon: Three. (season 1 to season 3)
First kiss: Ari is explaining to Jack why they felt they had to leave America and go home to Australia, and that they don’t feel like they belong anywhere. Jack just feels completely helpless, and just leans over and kisses them.
Asked out first: Ari (desperately trying to keep up the facade of being a badass and failing) asks Jack if he wants to go to a juice bar. Jack, not understanding the significance, just accepts casually, and Ari feels like a massive idiot.
First date: Their Official First Date was that one ^^^ but technically, their first date was another time. Jack was feeling down, so Ari wrapped him up in blankets and found a family jar of Nutella in the fridge, and they watched attempted to watch the whole HP series (they fell asleep after not long at all, it was a long day okay). Ari spent the whole time babbling about Wolfstar.
Said ‘I love you’ 1st: ^^^ Up in the first kiss section, when Ari was saying that they they don’t feel like they belong anywhere, and that nobody really loves them. Jack said, ‘But I love you’, and Ari just smiled sadly and said ‘bulls***’.
Can’t stop touching the other: Ari, despite their reputation as a badass, is completely touch-starved (probably due to the fact that their parents never hugged them) and loves to snuggle.
Pays for dinner: Ari; Jack doesn’t own any human currency.
Cooks: Neither. Jack is herbivorous and only eats fresh fruit and vegetables, and Ari can only make coffee and cheese toasties.
Is always jealous: Jack, but he doesn’t understand the feeling, so he never mentions it.
Too serious: Probably Jack, but even when he’s not trying to be funny, Ari is constantly laughing.
Hopeless romantic: Jack. He’s constantly getting flowers for Ari, and he once stayed up all night to decorate a pavilion to try and get them to smile.
Proposes: Jack spends ages learning human traditions to make sure he gets the proposal right, but the night he’s going to propose, Ari proposes with the Fae tradition.
Has pet names for the other: Neither, really. Although on occasion Ari did call Jack the sun, and Jack called her all the stars. So…

Tagging: @dc-writes, @juls-writes, @zburatorii, and @thewriteblrarchives

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Já não acreditava em qualquer tipo de promessa que tentasse me fazer acreditar que mudar o passado fosse possível. Parecia um daqueles dias comuns de inverno, de sol inútil. Ele passou por mim e sorriu, foi engraçado porque era como se nunca tivesse me visto, mas sorriu. Senti algo maravilhosamente estranho dentro de mim. Já tinha superado todas as dores que amá-lo haviam me causado, já tinha aceitado o fato de que nunca mais o veria. Mas lá estava ele, passando por mim e sorrindo como nos sonhos que tive nos últimos meses. Talvez estivesse sonhando. Não, eu não estava. Estava bem acordada, era uma terça-feira de julho, inverno… O vento batia suavemente em meu rosto, o sol tocava minha pele e ali estava ele, agora parado a minha frente me perguntando descaradamente:
- Nos conhecemos de algum lugar? - aquele sorriso pregado no rosto.
- Não, se eu te conhecesse, tenho certeza de que lembraria. - menti meio sem graça.
Eu sabia que ele não lembraria jamais, mas no fundo não conseguia acreditar. Como poderia ter esquecido tudo o que vivemos juntos? Todos aqueles anos, todas aquelas noites, as dificuldades, brigas, loucuras, e aquela coisa que chamávamos de amor, mas que nos últimos meses eu nomeei de amor não correspondido. 
E foi ali, naquele dia que tudo recomeçou. Estávamos ali, juntos novamente, começando tudo outra vez, mas de uma outra forma. O que pra mim, era uma loucura com tantas lembranças ainda a flor da pele.

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I want to be more active here with my writing. I’m so excited about my wip: it’s so romantic and not at all what you expect. I subvert so many tropes and character archetypes that I get giddy about it,

so booklr/writers let’s talk WIPs! I might do it for camp NaNoWriMo???

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Today’s so hectic. I was able to sleep past 8am though, so I’m decently rested. I fell asleep around 2am. I’m uneasy. Not in a horrible way, I just trying to keep up with everything, I’m trying to catch my breath. I can’t rest the same anymore. I can’t fall asleep well anymore, I’m not sure what’s wrong. But I’m dealing with it.
Last night after we hung up, I started crying. I didn’t want to hang up, but I didn’t want to bother you because I know you need to sleep. I know you can’t use your phone all the time, and I don’t want you to get in trouble. I also want you to sleep and get your rest because you need it. 
When you come home, let’s make kaopia, with chicken breast. Boiled chicken, and I’ll make pepper too, with green onions and cilantro. Or if you want chicken alfredo? we can make that too.
It’s 5pm right now, we would probably be taking a nap or be out while you play volleyball… I’m laying in bed watching stand up comedian videos while trying to find a good cheese cake recipe, I want some, we can make some, we should make some. 
I’m going out with my family, I’m trying to keep these as short as I can, but I’ll be waiting for you, I always will. To call me, to come home. Come back to me safely babes.

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The man sitting opposite me in the train was sleeping with his eyes wide open. I’d been asking him to stop staring at me for the past few minutes. He seemed to stare straight at me, and his chest heaved and snored.

I waved my hand in front of him. “Excuse me?”

He stared right through my waving. I got off my seat and stepped to the cabin door. His body swayed with the motion of the train, but he was still staring straight ahead. On returning to my seat, I raised a newspaper to block his view, and I pretended to read the paper.

Some time later, I heard yawning noises from his side, so I lowered the paper. His face was flushed read, and his eyes were watering with all the yawning. After checking his watch the environs outside the window, he smiled politely at me.

“Good evening,” I said.

“Yes, good evening,” he smiled back, a little sheepishly, as if he was used to this reaction.

Mouth open, I was about to ask him about his open-eyed sleep, but I decided to raise my paper instead. Who was I to judge him and his condition?

Minutes later, I asked him.

“Ah, yes, I was asleep,” the man answered with a stroke of his hair. “I sometimes sleep without closing my eyes. It’s been happening to me since I was 13.”

“Don’t your eyes get tired?” I asked.

He shrugged and looked out of the window. “I have perfect vision,” he said.

“Not to offend you,” I folded the paper and put it aside. “But you’re begging for trouble with a condition like that. Someone could take it the wrong way.”

“I don’t have to beg for trouble,” he smiled and examined his thumbs. “Trouble always finds me. Speaking of which, were you staring at me while I was asleep?”

“Of course I was,” I said. “You looked so odd, I couldn’t help but stare. But I won’t now, I know better now.”

The man nodded sagely and looked away while he chose his words. “I’m sorry to say that… my condition is contagious, and it spreads by prolonged sight.”

I rested my head on the wall of the train, smooth wood panel from where to watch the man’s roving eyes. “You’re joking,” I said, but he stared at me with emerald eyes.

“Good night,” he smiled, and got up and stepped out of the cabin.

My eyes followed him, but I found that I could not quite turn to see him. I could not move at all, in fact. My head was still leaning against the wall, but I could barely feel anything that I was touching.

The train rattled and clattered, swaying to and fro. The seat in front of me was empty. I tried closing my eyes, but I found that I couldn’t move at all, let alone close my eyes. Visions, thoughts, memories danced in front of me, their image overlaid on top of the train cabin that I could not stop seeing. That’s how I slept for the next six hours.

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Lonely bed

The smell of you

Lingers in my bedsheets

Like black clouds

After a storm.

I roll around

Hoping you’d be there by my side

But I was alone

In this bed

That suddenly feels so big.

Earlier you kisses me

Until I was lost for breath

But now

I’m all curled up

Wondering why the nights feel so long

Without you by my side.

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