Dear past me, (for the letter thing! i hope you have an amazing day!!
hello sweetheart. i know you’re going through a really hard time right now. you’re in a relationship that isn’t going really well- tons of arguments and her saying stuff that makes you uncomfortable. believe me love, i know- i was there too, after all
but it’s gonna get better, i promise. you’re gonna end the relationship soon, although you won’t realize all the reasons right away- sure, you may claim it was just because you fell out of love, but really, that relationship wasn’t very healthy to begin with, even if you won’t let yourself believe that just yet. it’s gonna hurt like a bitch, you’ll feel really bad, but ultimately? you’ll be glad you did it.
you’re gonna go through a period where you think you’re happy, but it’s just you suppressing everything and only focusing on the good things. honestly, i don’t regret it. at least i learned what that felt like and know how to avoid it now. but i also learned to let myself feel the bad things, too. you’ll learn it as well, just not quite yet.
you’re also gonna end up losing touch with the people you talk to right now. it’s not a bad thing, even though, i know that to you it’s gonna seem like the end of the world. your friend group is not very healthy. there’s tons of infighting, and later on you’ll be manipulated into siding with some people. maybe it wasn’t intentional, but… they’re gonna do it. your tendency to please people isn’t gonna help, either- and you’re gonna feel like shit for a very long time.
and then you’ll turn to tumblr for a safe space. and you’ll find good friends there. really good friends, and you’ll end up leaving the friend group you’re in right now. you’ll also find some content that’ll help you realize just how many traumatic things happened to you, and you’ll probably go through a period where you’re feeling really bad. that’s alright- it’s all hitting you at once after literal years of suppression. just give yourself time to rest
but it’s not all darkness. like i said, you’re gonna make some new friends, and damn good ones at that. you’ll also reach out to your parents and you’ll start seeing a therapist. that’s good- you’re gonna learn a lot about yourself, and it’s gonna give you a space to vent. and, most importantly, you’re gonna stop suppressing everything. personally, i think that’s the most important thing out of all of this- you’re gonna let yourself feel, and thus, heal.
just hang in there, my love. you’re gonna be fine. i love you