#yeah clarke in the first 5 seasons because I was too lazy to get the other five seasons

[poppykru]

Tagged by @rosyrosalie, @bcllamy and @bellarkesgodson. Thank you, guys ❤️

The moment I saw this I knew that I would end up with Clarke and Bellamy. And even though it was fun to think about and choose other characters, ultimately I knew what I would end up with. So I decided to eliminate them from the first round and ta-daaa.

I'll put my ramblings under if you wanna read them.

Tagging: @jeanie205​ @travllingbunny @iishallbelieve @pendragaryen @immortalpramheda @fen-ha-fuck-you @carrieeve @the-suns-also-rise @jemleofan @justalittlebluetiefling @braveprincess-rebelprince @captainwilldameron @kattitudereads @damngoodgirl @franklyineedcoffee @marauders-groupie​

if you don't want to be tagged in tag games, drop me a message! If you want to play but haven't been tagged, consider this your tag 😊

This was hard. Especially the women's bracket - I love all the 100 ladies (except Abby #sorrynotsorry). I've made choices mostly based on storylines, but with a few it was about the character themselves.

The Women's Bracket

The most difficult choice was Octavia vs Raven. Usually I would go with Raven. I've been rewatching the show and loving s1-s3 Raven (love the idea of her arc in s4, not really the execution though) but the last two seasons her writing has been lacking. I didn't like her storyline with Shaw at all. I feel like she's been in a standstill since end of s4 with the exception of her s6 arc which imo should've been how her s4 arc ended but I digress.

Octavia is the opposite. I didn't really like her all that much. She's a good character just not my favourite. But I loved her story on s5 and s6! She made such a good antagonist and her redemption (more like the beginning of her redemption) was really well-handled. She was one of the highlights of s6 so ultimately, that's why I chose her.

Probably most of my mutuals would be surprised that I chose Echo over Emori. I am too. 😁 This was a difficult choice too. Look, I like Emori. I think she is a great character. I think she has a lot of potential (luisa has been talking, about her story in season 7 and I'm excited!) but the last time she got a satisfactory story imo was season 4. Season 5 was good but I wish I'd seen more. I wish we saw her more outside of her relationship with Murphy. Echo, on the other hand, has her own story in s6 that I actually really enjoyed. She is fascinating. I like her as an antagonist season 2-4 and I think she was great in season 5 (I think it's really interesting to compare her to clarke; they're more alike than I thought).

During this rewatch I realised that a big part of why I loved Lxa was grounded in fanon, not canon. I really liked her in season 2. She was fierce, ruthless, mighty, interesting. I liked the development of her relationship with Clarke and how it changed her. However, I did not like her in season 3. Like at all. She's not a very good leader. I don't want to go on a tangent here and get myself killed by the fandom, but yeah, Diyoza was an easy choice. I loved her from her introduction. She's been compelling, consistent, true Slytheryn and I love her. And that is why ultimately, she won. Fingers crossed we see more if her in season 7 🤞🤞

The Men's Bracket

Murphy vs Monty was a hard choice. Monty has been one of my favourites since season 1. However, I went with Murphy because I hsve been enjoying his story during this rewatch and I'm excited to see how it ends in season 7.

I love Murphy, but not as much as I love Roan. He is a fascinating character. I loved his dynamic with Clarke and he is the only part of the season 3 Polis storyline I like. I think he was great in season 4 as well. I would've loved to see him go up in space with spacekru instead of echo but I know, I know the story wouldn't have worked well with him there. Anyway, Roan is da best and I need a spinoff of him and Clarke fucking shit up.

I'm honestly too lazy to explain the others but if you're insane you want my two cents, ask away :D.

#tag games

[lopeforrestlope]

S6 Ask Games

Thanks @traitorwhoyoulove for the tag!!

Character you’re most looking forward to seeing: This is such a tough one because I love so many of the characters so much, but honestly I’m so excited for Jordan Green. I can’t wait to see his dynamics with the rest of his group and watch him discover things he never got the opportunity to experience growing up in space with only his parents. I'm excited to see more of him!

Relationship/Dynamic you are most looking forward to seeing: I mean obviously Clarke and Bellamy. Yeah I know that’s the easy answer and not unique at all but it’s true. I really do feel a shift in their relationship that has been occurring throughout season 5 and now already in just the first episode of 6 they’re being cinematically and clearly intentionally portrayed as potential love interests. I’m not getting my hopes up too high for anything romantic to happen any time soon because this show is very plot driven rather than character driven, but I really just can’t wait to see Bellamy and Clarke have that co-leader connection again and them being really good friends who love and support one another, romantically or not.

Thing you will miss most about Earth: Probably just the familiarity of sort of knowing where and what places were/are within the context of earth. But honestly I’m so happy for the big change because there was really only so much left for them to do with the way the story was going.

What you are most excited for with the new planet: Idk maybe our mains will actually get along with the new people instead of starting wars and our faves can have a second to actually breathe and, you know, enjoy life? lol jk this is The 100 we all know that could never happen

Favourite moment last season: It’s almost cruel to make me pick just one...uhmmmmmm....well the first one that comes to mind is “Pleading for the life of a traitor...who you love” and Bellamy’s “crap crap crap crap she found me out panic panic abort abort” face immediately following. It’s weird to say because I know we all freak over this moment, but I still think it’s underrated. This is real, tangible, confirmation of Bellamy’s love for Clarke being paralleled to his actual on screen romantic love. This is real, intentional, legit confirmation of Bellarke being portrayed as romantic and NOBODY can convince me otherwise. Validation is such a sweet and beautiful thing.

I’m too lazy to go through the effort of tagging actual people but I still want to know peoples’ opinions so if you have made it this far, consider yourself tagged. Thank you and good night.

#tag games #thank you so much for this!! #I love these things!! #the 100

[algaecoma]

This started as me thinking about what I loved most about Emori and turned into Clarke shaming, Bellamy justification and Murphy appreciation, so ...

I love how the other characters love Emori’s shamelessness. How they’ve all done things that make them ashamed and how she’s there refusing to let anyone else judge her. (My thoughts on why I think Jasper and Emori would have been great friends is a subject for another time.) Spacekru needed a serious dose of self-love and allowing them to accept their shame.

Clarke does not, quite the opposite, or at least to stop feeling shame about being ashamed of herself. Which honestly I think is one of the major factors in Bellamy’s self-improvement kick. He’s letting himself feel guilty about the bad things he’s done, similar to how Murphy started doing that after Raven in the dropship in season two. Clarke stopped letting herself feel guilt, because she didn’t have anyone who knew enough to tell her ‘yeah, you’re Wanheda, but we kinda love you anyway.’

Bellamy has always forgiven Clarke too easily and honestly, Clarke has always forgiven Bellamy too easily. I very much hope it’s Raven who gets to do the ‘you messed up, we’re super pissed, but like, you’re still family’ speech.

Then again, I think Murphy would be the one Clarke would most want to.

The stories she told, Madi found that her favourite was Octavia and I think that’s because Clarke was framing Octavia as both of them. Obviously Madi was Octavia, that parallel was painfully clear, but I think Clarke is too.

She’s been protected by others her whole life, sheltered from consequences, only now there isn’t anyone to protect her and she gets reckless. What Clarke needed was a Lincoln, someone who wouldn’t protect her from other people, but would protect other people from her. Not an Indra, who wouldn’t protect her or others, but would teach her to protect herself, Clarke’s problem has never been not knowing how to protect herself.

Instead of that, Clarke got another Octavia. One who also knew how to protect herself from others and Clarke got focused on making sure Madi knew to protect others, because that was what *Clarke* was missing in that timeskip.

Madi’s recklessness comes in the service of other people. Clarke’s season 5 recklessness comes in the service of Madi. (Her earlier recklessness has always been in the service of as many as possible.)

Bellamy is reckless too, but it’s controlled. His difference is that what he was lacking was self preservation and the ability to protect others from himself. With none of the others in Spacekru needing him to protect them from an external threat, he found himself well outside his comfort zone. Bellamy still has next to no self preservation, but he’s been learning from people who people need protecting from.

None of Spacekru are willing to hurt each other, so they turn that dangerousness inwards. Bellamy has six case studies to see what works and what doesn’t. He’s something of a chameleon

Harper turns her guilt at surviving into a desire to see Spacekru survive, that works, so Bellamy turns his guilt at killing into a desire to see Spacekru survive. Monty turns his guilt over not saving Jasper into a desire to look after Spacekru, that works, so Bellamy turns his guilt at not saving Clarke into a desire to see Spacekru survive. Raven throws herself into her work, that doesn’t work, so Bellamy takes time to rest. Emori throws herself into learning a new skill, that works, so Bellamy does the same.

And then, because he’s all about protecting others over himself, he tries to do something about those it hasn’t worked for. The ones isolating themselves.

He allows Raven to work, because she’s essential to getting them back to the Ground, in a sense he sees her productivity as healthier than Murphy’s laziness. Neither are great, mental health wise. Besides, Raven isn’t isolating herself, she’s got Emori, she’s just not resting. Bellamy does a bit, makes her sleep and eat and do other stuff and Raven listens to him and everyone else follows his example, so she’s kind of good, frustrated by the impossible problem, but managing. It keeps her busy, not having anything to do would leave her in the same state as Murphy.

So, Echo is throwing herself into her fight training. Maintaining a skill that won’t be useful for five years and maybe not even then. Bellamy looks at that and goes ‘uh, no, not healthy’ and joins her. Offers to show her how to use a gun, she offers to teach him how to use a sword, they wrestle a lot ... Bellamy makes sure to include her and eventually one of the others (I suspect Harper was the first, not having a specific purpose/role) comes and joins their training sessions and she’s got some tips on fighting a stronger opponent and would like to see how they do with thrown projectiles and Echo brings out a bow and Bellamy gets hold of a baton. The others join them for their own reasons, that’s a genuine success and Bellamy just forgets about Murphy for a while?

Especially once he and Echo start sleeping together because they’re stressed, they’re hot, they’re surrounded by couples, they’re in close physical proximity, they’re wrestling, they’re pretty evenly matched, Raven doesn’t make a move for either of them, they genuinely enjoy each others company outside of just physical attraction, they appreciate what the other has done for them and for Spacekru, they need to know they can be forgiven - there’s a million reasons they got together and they both have the fear that it’s temporary, that the moment they get back to the Ground it’ll turn out the other was just with them because it was convenient. That fear has very much not turned out to be true.

Anyway, Bellamy’s basically notices Murphy’s absence. Like something reminds him Murphy exists and he’s like ‘Murphy’s been ... quiet. That’s suspicious. Murphy doesn’t do quiet.’

And he starts asking and no one knows anything more than that. Monty’s been avoiding him after the algae incident, knowing Murphy doesn’t forgive. Harper never much liked him, about their only interaction was him hitting on her as an insult back on the Ark. Echo’s only concern was that he wasn’t making trouble (as had Bellamy’s been). Raven has never had the patience for Murphy’s bullshit and she certainly doesn’t now with way more important concerns and frankly she’s tired of hearing Emori complain about him.

So Bellamy gets the story out of Emori, who he’d avoided asking because of the certainty that if Murphy was up to something she’d be his partner in crime and finds Murphy is ... lying around on the opposite side of the Ring watching TV.

Dastardly.

So Bellamy tries very hard to do the same thing he did with Echo and bring Murphy into the group. It doesn’t work, because Bellamy is improvising and has zero actual understanding of what Murphy’s problem is.

Murphy needs to eat, when Raven needed that, Bellamy made them eat together as a family. Murphy eats, but he won’t eat with them.

Murphy needs a purpose, when Harper needed that, Bellamy asked her what she was good at. Murphy is good at things, but he won’t tell Bellamy what they are.

Murphy needs people, when Echo needed that, Bellamy joined her at the thing she was already doing. Murphy sits around watching films, he tells Bellamy to float off when he tries to join him.

When we rejoin them in canon, Bellamy is at the point of assigning spending time with Murphy as a punishment and being the only one of the entire group who’s still willing to try. He tries ordering Murphy back, refusing to leave, telling him he’s not useless, telling him the others miss him, telling him he needs to train, bribery, threats, pleading -

Nothing works. Except Murphy is right there literally telling Bellamy what he needs. We see Bellamy finally get to the point where he’s so stuck for ideas he’ll go with Murphy’s suggestion. He challenges him to a fight. Puts terms on it, winner gets to decide what Murphy does. Murphy agrees to those terms, fully aware that Bellamy has always been a much better fighter than him. Plus, Bellamy’s been training with an Azgeda assassin and someone who knows all the tricks a less strong fighter can use.

Murphy doesn’t stand a chance.

Murphy knows that.

Murphy is essentially asking to be forced to do the thing he wants to do.

Now the reason I think Murphy is the one Clarke most needs a pep talk from is because he understands completely. He’s remarkably good at empathy, see Ontari and Jaha for examples of when that goes badly for him and Indra and Pike for examples of when that goes well. (Major problem is that he understands and empathises with those that hate him and after his mother has trouble believing those that love him aren’t going to change their minds. Emori’s unconditional love is the cure to that one.)

So, Murphy gets it. He knows exactly how easy it is to cut off from the guilt and just be the monster. It’s what he did on the Ark. It’s what he did under Bellamy’s command. It’s what he did after Bellamy betrayed him and he was tortured.

What it took to knock him out of it was Raven. Her complete lack of sympathy, her demand that he stop feeling sorry for himself, her refusal to say that the bad things he’d done were allowed because bad things had been done to him. And he listened and he acted on that and she saw he had worked hard and he apologised and she told him that it wasn’t the apology that made her forgive him.

I don’t think Raven can do the same for Clarke. Not this time. She’s already forgiven Clarke. Because Clarke saved Shaw, because Clarke was willing to give her life for Spacekru, because Clarke remembered her family was bigger than just Madi, because Raven failed to find a way back to the Ground, because Raven failed to save Eden, because Monty and Harper died to find an alternative.

Raven needs her own damn pep talk.

Murphy as family therapist sounds absurd, but ... it’s useful. Corrupting Jordan just enough his innocence doesn’t get them killed. Hating Bellamy just enough his love doesn’t get them killed. Loving Emori just enough her ruthlessness doesn’t get them killed. Believing in Raven just enough Raven’s fear of failure doesn’t get them killed. Amusing Madi just enough her loss of childhood doesn’t get them killed. Challenging Echo just enough her confidence doesn’t get them killed.

Shaming Clarke just enough her arrogance doesn’t get them killed.

And I think Monty knew that, why Murphy was the one he mentioned to them. It wasn’t just Jordan he was asking them to take care of, those two who love far too much, far too hard, far too easily. He was telling them to take care of Murphy, too.

So that Murphy could take care of them.

#john murphy #broody male protagonist Bellamy #clarke griffin #when the real answer is likely that the creators like Bellamy and Clarke too much #always pro poly #pro becho #pro memori #neutral about bellarke #neutral about murphamy #neutral about murven

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 9: The 100 2x01, The 48

Okay, settling down to rewatch 2x01, the start of my favorite season...

I love this Clarke so much. Badass Clarke, sneaky Clarke, a Clarke who will fearlessly do what she has to in order to escape and to get to her friends. A Clarke with convictions and guts.

How DO they know everyone’s names lol? Is that ever explained? (ETA: Monty was obviously the informant.)

Mount Weather is one of my favorite parts of this show, honestly. I love that their mission is in part to preserve the beautiful things humanity created, like art; they gave their prisoner Starry Night. The ORIGINAL Starry Night. I just find that very moving. All of these non-essential parts of being human... the show has abandoned them and that’s part of why it’s so hollow for me now, I think.

Level 5: where it all begins and it all ends.

The Clarke/Maya relationship could have been so much more, tbh. Like they had their good moments, like threatening to kill each other etc., but they could have gone deeper.

Surprise! Underground executive branch family dinner! This is the sort of twist I can get behind.

Haha remember when actual delinquents still existed? I joke but truly the later canon has ruined parts of this show for me.

I forgot Tristan survived into 2x01. Not for long. Such Grounder hypocrisy: “That’s one. I lost 300.” He makes it sound as if Finn marched into a village and killed 300 people--they were fucking soldiers on the attack you dum-dum.

“Only our warriors speaking English.” Well that sounds like bullshit based on literally everything we see after this point.

The statue of Lincoln is “the place we go to settle disputes.” First, please don’t say they settle disputes to the death or some nonsense, and second, that’s his namesake... Significant? I mean, objectively, no, but can I make something out of it somehow?

I disliked Luna but she COULD have been so interesting and she and Lincoln COULD have had quite a dynamic. I headcanon them as exes. I want to know their whole backstory tbh. When they met. How. If he wanted to go with her to the sea. If he did perhaps and then came back.

Drink every time someone cauterizes a wound.

You know what else they should have done? Story line about the meeting of Grounder and Sky People medicine. Oh wait that would have taken away from the repetitive war story lines never mind.

That dropship is so fucking impressive. WHERE ARE THE AWARDS FOR THE SET PEOPLE?

And the costume people for those awesome masks.

Am I supposed to feel bad for this Grounder and his charred friend? I do not. Next time, don’t attack the children for no reason and you won’t get burned to a crisp. Easy.

The thing is I can never get behind the Raven + Murphy friendship 100% even though their S5 dynamic looked interesting because he literally fucking shot her and that’s just not a bygones are bygones thing. But they do have personalities that mesh well together so in that way it’s sort of a shame. Also he 10000000000000% had a crush on her don’t even try to argue.

She fired that gun at him. I forgot that. She fired but was out of bullets, that’s the only reason he didn’t die right there. “Yeah I would have shot me too.”

I’m p. sure that’s the real Mount Weather?

I know the Mount Weather people have no leg to stand on when it comes to the Grounders and that they’re...pretty obviously racist, but in their defense--the Grounders were written to be pretty savage, so “savages,” while unforgivably racially tinged, is a fair descriptor of them.

I know I’ve harped on this before but Mount Weather has a judicial system of some sort and it’s possible to press charges there. Somehow. The world building on this show sucks balls.

“They also said you were their leader” is like some retconning, okay. Because you will not convince me that for most of S1 BELLAMY wasn’t the leader in the eyes of the delinquents.

“Kiddo.”

Fucking love Dante. Where are my Dante + Clarke mentor/mentee or ex-mentor/mentee or different-gen-rivals fics?

“We prioritize safety over sentimentality.” As Maya takes blood she absolutely doesn’t need but is having just in case and that she knows comes from someone else’s tortured body because she’s accepted this as something they do, because she’s not sentimental. But she already feels guilty.

Clarke is already using the word “capture.” I had a discussion with someone once about Clarke’s vision of Mount Weather versus, say, Jasper’s, and why it was different and I said some poorly phrased stuff that didn’t really reflect my thoughts and opinions and it still haunts me but I feel like this is...relevant to that. How she immediately feels ‘captured,’ trapped.

Clarke’s devotion to her friends and her people was still so pure and right here.

Dante really does believe he “saved” them. I wonder what his thought process was... I really hate the “savages” so I must save these children? These children look interesting, let’s meet some new friends? She’s right of course that if they were really guests, they could leave.

Multiple crash sites over 100 square miles = I should go on google maps to confirm my Pennsylvania/Farm Station theory but I’m too lazy.

GOD THOSE CLOTHES. I love that Clarke picks the pants and the high heel shiv.

There’s no way there’s actually time for natural selection to work that fast in 97 years and also I’m pretty sure the Sky People are genetically modified because their original pool was way too small for the process Dante is describing but whatever this show is all la-di-da science.

Also: this is how you run an underground Bunker OCTAVIA.

Dante was the only rival/antagonist/whatever Clarke has ever had that rivals her instincts and intelligence yeah I said it; fight me. I know she needed to be on the outside for this season to work but he should have been her mentor. He basically set her up to be mentored and then she ran off and into L who basically destroyed her and she’s never recovered.

THAT REUNION. Heartwarming. Though hard to watch too because this show did both Jasper and Monty so dirty. (Yeah I said that too WHAT OF IT.)

“Dying. Same as you.” Murphy gets all the good lines. That’s why people like him, forget this “redemption arc.”

The Grounder Raven killed was Murphy’s guard and honestly--hilarious. He abandons his post, realizes all his friends are skeletons, pickpockets one, then is shot by what he must initially assume is a dead body. Better character than almost anyone introduced from S3 on.

This cake scene is the most iconic. Jonty were scene stealers stfu. They’re children--basically. They get to act their age. They get to be happy and silly and they loved each other so much.

“Pretend like you’re happy to see me.” / “We are happy to see you.” See? Adorable. I know he’s no cinnamon roll but gosh, adorable.

And then Clarke comes in like secret espionage time and they just look so Tired TM.

I feel like Monty knew, or suspected on some level, that Jasper wasn’t just ‘bummed out’ by Clarke’s suspicions, he was panicking a little.

I can’t believe Jasper and Maya have known each other for like 10 seconds and she’s already seen his O face.

“Clarke’s the only reason we survived.” Um ex-CUSE me but I know you didn’t forget Bellamy’s existence, Jasper.

Clarke’s so smart!

Maya brings out the big guns, literally.

“I’m the one who fired the rockets. Should I not have done that?” is so heartbreaking. Mostly because of the delivery. I love this entire scene. There are like 8 different scenes I love in this episode, like whole-heartedly and truly love.

Clarke’s suspicions really do look like paranoia. Like I see what she’s picking up on, saw it even the first time I watched this ep, but there’s a sense in which she does appear irrational.

There’s actually something kinda funny about Bellamy running out with a spear in one scene, looking around blankly, and then getting chained up as a prisoner in the next scene. At least he inspired his little protege Monroe. Scenes like this are the reason she joined Pike in S3.

Tristan’s like “Who are these fucking children running at me and screaming?” Then he gets shot in the head. Goodbye Tristan you won’t be missed.

“We’re here now. Everything’s going to be okay.” This sounds like Kane playing out a hero fantasy he’s had since he was a child. Except he’s talking to two mud-stained kids who are looking at him skeptically instead of, like, a captured heroine or something.

I feel like they set up this conflict where the adults/Sky People elite come in and, like Kane says explicitly, assume they’re in charge and everyone will fall in line, but then the delinquents don’t see it that way or want that: they have their own priorities (their friends) and their own relationships (Finn and Bell don’t even LIKE each other but they’re still communicating by look) and their own knowledge (the pipes that allow them to move through the dropship camp quickly and without permission). But then... it sort of plays into the rest of the season...but not that much?? Not as much as I would like.

“You are not animals. There are rules. Laws. You are not in control here anymore.”

This show sacrificed a lot of complex relationships to just either make people buddy-buddy who had no reason to be or just arbitrarily assign relationships to scenes or episodes without regard for continuity at all.

Raven took Jasper’s goggles.... never over this.

How was bringing Octavia to TonDC faster than collecting some beetles for her to eat?

“Loss, pain, regret. Time eases these things.” I’d say this is the sort of line the show should be repeating but God when it gets a line in its teeth it never lets the fuck go so I guess it’s better this one remains pristine.

I find Dante very sympathetic but also so creepy.

They weren’t really patrolling for other people, were they? Because like...surely they would have found them. They’re at the dropship and close by. He was just bullshitting here. But why don’t they want to make even more new friends?

Dante’s stationery is presidential themed lol. Glad we stocked up the bunkers properly with the important stuff.

The crashed Alpha Station is beautiful. I believe this was the first time it was shown on the show? Ugh, this whole sequence with the music, it’s perfect and so touching.

Jaha is the most tragic and heartbreaking figure on this show. He also doesn’t get the appreciation he deserves. Just...the image of a man alone in space, talking to his loved ones, hoping they can hear them, not knowing if they can... I almost can’t handle it. I used to be very unsure if I liked where his story line went after this (seeing it in its entirety, I defend it) but surely he could not have died this way.

....I really gotta sleep now.

#the year 2018 #2018: fandom thoughts #2018: the 100 s2

[christinamirabilis]

Question thingy cos I’m procrastinating going to bed which I will be heavily regretting at 7:30 when I have to get up for class but yolo

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  I don’t really use any of them tbh, like, I like to have all of my music in iTunes/on my phone - but if I ever stream music it’s actually normally on YouTube.

is your room messy or clean?  Right now it’s very messy, I was supposed to clean it days ago but I’m lazy.

what color are your eyes?  Blue.

do you like your name? why?  I’ve always been indifferent to it - or, really, it’s that depersonalised feel where I tell people my name is Christina and I answer to Christina but when I start to think about it, say it out loud slowly and mindfully, it feels like a foreign object in my mouth.  So I try not to do that because that’s uncomfortable as fuck.  But anyway, yeah, indifferent, but ever since I learned about Christina Mirabilis and how much she has come to mean to me, it’s better, like, it feels like fate I guess.  If such a thing exists, which is another thing I am ambivalent about.

what is your relationship status?  extremely single so if anyone wants to take one for the team and date me, that would be swell.

describe your personality in 3 words or less?  neurotic, means well.

what color hair do you have?  purple

what kind of car do you drive? colour?  sadly I do not have a car, but I do have a scooter, it’s silver.

where do you shop?  like, as in where do I buy my groceries?  Haha lmao but honestly this is so vague.  Bitch I’m poor and fat, I shop anywhere where I can find something that doesn’t look completely hideous and that my card won’t get declined trying to buy.

how would you describe your style?  see above.  Would like to dress way cooler than I do but lack of money, and - more importantly, since thrift shops are a thing when you’re skinny - being fat.

favorite social media account? Tumblr I guess, even though it’s often incredibly frustrating, because Facebook is a shitstain on the fabric of humanity and I don’t have Twitter and rarely use Instagram.

what size bed do you have?  double.

any siblings?  little sister, she’s 25, lives in Melbourne.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  somewhere that is perpetually warm, where I can speak the language well enough to practice as a clinical psychologist, but still in a big city - I’m thinking either Sydney or Queensland, or California.  South of France would be fucking lit too, I guess I know enough French that I could become fluent with total immersion.  Anyway, I just want to be warm year-round, seasonal depression always kicks my ass, I fucking loathe being cold.

favorite snapchat filter?  fuck man I don’t know, I don’t remember the last time I used a snapchat filter.

favorite makeup brand(s)  depends on which type of makeup, I have different favourite brands for different products.  But, generally, cheap, I guess.  Although my two favourite makeup items are an eyeshadow that I got from Topshop, and a Makeup Revolution highlight.

how many times a week do you shower?  most days.

favorite tv show?  that is a really difficult question, I have so many favourites.  Right now it’s Game of Thrones, obviously.  But I think Dollhouse is possibly my all-time favourite TV show.  And right now I’m watching Vikings, which I’m fucking loving, just finished the second season.  Although HONESTLY I don’t give a fuck about Princess Aslaug, when the fuck are Ragnar and Lagertha gonna get back together because Lagertha is my fucking bae.

shoe size?  normally 7 or 8 in NZ sizes, or 38EU.

how tall are you?  5′2″ of pure queer fury.

sandals or sneakers?  docs.

do you go to the gym?  lmao.

describe your dream date?  I’ve done this before but basically - luxury version with the girl I’m in love with involves long extended holiday wandering around the Mediterranean and just having lazy days of eating and napping and swimming and having sex and exploring and shopping. Other than that, I just really love to go to an outdoor bar on a warm summer’s afternoon and have sangria or margaritas or wine and antipasto or tapas, and just chill and chat, and maybe have a sneaky cigarette.  just, like, yeah.  perfect.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?  none, I don’t carry cash most of the time.

what color socks are you wearing?  grey with black polka dots, with a rabbit on each, they used to have pom poms on them for the rabbit’s tale but they’ve long since disintegrated.

how many pillows do you sleep with?  I sleep on one pillow but I have another one on the other side of my bed.

do you have a job? what do you do?  I am a supervisor in a bookstore.

how many friends do you have?  I don’t know off the top of my head, I’m not inclined to sit here and count them.

whats the worst thing you have ever done?  taken my pain out on my own body rather than directing my anger at the people who hurt me.

whats your favorite candle scent?  I don’t know but Sophie got me this Limoncello-scented one from Bath and Body Works in Vancouver but it’s humungous and heavy as fuck so she couldn’t afford to send it to me but I hope maybe when she eventually comes back she’ll bring it with her because I think that would be my favourite scent.

3 favourite boy names?  I don’t know, honestly, I don’t often think about boy names, I guess cos I’m fucking gay as shit so boys never cross my mind in any capacity.  But I like Elliott.  But I also like that name for a girl so idk,

3 favourite girl names?  I have heaps but the first three that spring to mind are Anneke, Rhiannon, and Sinead.

favorite actor?  don’t know tbh.  Probably Harrison Ford as Han Solo, cos he’s my son.

favorite actress?  a hard choice but Emilia Clarke is the one I crush on the hardest so yeah idk.

who is your celebrity crush?  who ISN’T?  I swear I’m in love with half the women in music and film.  Emilia Clarke is a big one, obviously, but also at the moment I’m crushing mega hard on Tash Sultana.

favorite movie?  I don’t know, I’ll just say Amélie because that film never fails to cheer me up.

do you read a lot? what’s your favourite book?  I do read a lot, and I have no fucking idea.

money or brains?  In a partner?  Brains, I guess, although that’s very subjective, given Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences - I guess it depends on what you value.  I, personally, value emotional intelligence.

do you have a nickname? what is it?  Stina.

how many times have you been to the hospital?  Uhhh.  I don’t know off the top of my head, and I probably can’t count accurately because there are a few admissions that I just straight up don’t remember.  At least 10 times, I would say.

top 10 favourite songs?  nah, that’s too hard.

do you take any medications daily?  yeah, I take sertraline (anti-depressant), prazosin (alpha-blocker - for PTSD), and birth control (for PCOS).  I also take magnesium and vitamin D because they’re both fucking lifesaving tbh.

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)  I don’t know.  All I know is that it never fucking does what I want it to.

what is your biggest fear?  The people I love dying, especially my close family.

how many kids do you want?  more than one but no more than three.

whats your go to hair style?  down.  I always wear it down.  I have a pretty large side-undercut, so.

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  The house itself is really big, it’s an old villa, but it’s divided into two flats, we’re on the bottom floor.  It isn’t huge, we have a tiny lounge, a slightly-larger-than-average kitchen, and average-sized bathroom/laundry - but our rooms are all fucking humungous.

who is your role model?  my therapist, my old high school guidance counsellor, my friends.

what was the last compliment you received?  Owen said my hair looked good today.

what was the last text you sent?  it was a really long Facebook message to the girl I’m currently talking to, we’re going on a date on Thursday, I’m excited.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?  Idk, I figured it out pretty young, I was a bright kid.  Maybe five or six?

what is your dream car?  I don’t really know.  I like 70s muscle cars but honestly at the end of the day any car is a good car.  Plus, practically-speaking, I would like something that is kind on the environment, an electric car or a hybrid.

opinion on smoking?  I think that it is something people do when they need something to alleviate a distressing situation.  It’s no secret that smoking is more prevalent among the poor and the mentally ill, as well as those with high-stress jobs.  I am an ex-smoker who relapses one or two times a year, the last time I had a cigarette was early April.  I sometimes start smoking again when I am not doing well emotionally or if I’m really stressed (eg during exams).  And I don’t like it, it makes me feel tired, it makes my throat phlegmy, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth and it makes me stink of smoke, and it is fucking expensive, but it meets a need.  So my opinion is that I don’t like smoking, but sometimes it has a hold on me that I can’t resist, and I have the utmost compassion for anyone who smokes.

do you go to college?  yeah, I’m in my last year of my undergrad.

what is your dream job?  clinical child and youth psychologist.

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  inner-city suburbs - far out enough to still live in a free-standing house with a garden, but close enough that I can walk to the city, or be there after a short bus trip. That’s the situation I live in at the moment and it’s perfect.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  No, because I’m a snob and only like to use my own shampoo and conditioner.  But I don’t see anything wrong with it, since you’re paying for them.  Taking appliances and dressing gowns and towels, however, is not acceptable in my opinion.

do you have freckles?  Not really.

do you smile for pictures?  Sometimes but I hate having my photo taken so it always looks strained.

how many pictures do you have on your phone?  Not that many at the moment, I just did a big dump of photos onto my laptop, I like to do that from time to time so my iCloud doesn’t run out of space.

have you ever peed in the woods?  yeah, and on the side of the road, and once behind Sophie’s house when her flatmate was taking a really fucking long time in the shower and I desperately needed to pee.

do you still watch cartoons?  nah, but only cos they’re not my cup of tea, absolutely no hate.

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?  I’m a vegetarian.

Favorite dipping sauce?  see above.

what do you wear to bed?  pyjama pants and an old t-shirt.

have you ever won a spelling bee?  no, they’re not a thing in New Zealand, but if they were I would have fucking cleaned up - not to blow my own horn or anything but I am a freakishly good speller.  It’s kind of a not terribly useful skill though, and doesn’t say anything about my level of intelligence.  Just like my weird propensity for memorising numbers, even if I haven’t used them in 10 or 15 years (like my NCEA student number, and the mobile number for the cellphone I lost when I was 14).

what are your hobbies?  netflix, napping, and memeing.

can you draw?  nope, not even a little bit.

do you play an instrument?  yeah I play the violin, and I can also play piano, and I’m a decent choral singer, and I was once an okay percussionist, and I am a below-average guitarist, and an abysmal flute player.  But those last three were self-taught so yeah.

what was the last concert you saw?  The Veils BUT I’m going to see Sigur Rós on Friday and I am dying of excitement.

tea or coffee?  peppermint tea.

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?  Dunkin Donuts, but not for the coffee, I just really like donuts.  Plus we don’t have Dunkin Donuts in Wellington so it’s a huge novelty for me when I get to have them, I’m almost as excited about getting Dunkin Donuts when I fly into Auckland on Friday as I am about seeing my favourite band live haha.

do you want to get married?  Yes.

what is your crush’s first and last initial?  I don’t currently have a crush.

are you going to change your last name when you get married?  No but I will consider hyphenating if that’s something my wife wants to do.

what color looks best on you?  black I guess.

do you miss anyone right now?  I kinda miss Soph but these days I’m just starting to, like, I don’t know.  Adjust.  Which is nice.  Realising that the way things worked out is for the best, because otherwise I would have been in for a lot of misery.  Even though Sophie is a wonderful person whom I love and care about a huge amount.  Apart from that, I miss being close to Nic, because she is like a sister to me, and I wish that we lived near each other so we could support one another.

do you sleep with your door open or closed?  Closed.

do you believe in ghosts?  No, but I could be convinced to change my mind with enough evidence.

what is your biggest pet peeve?  People with bad manners, it is really not that fucking hard to say “please” and “thank you”?  I mean, I’m talking in a work context here pretty much, customers can be so fucking rude.  And the rude ones are all, without a single exception, baby boomers.  So... yeah.

last person you called?  Owen.

favorite ice cream flavour?  I’m not really an ice cream person but I really like Ben and Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, that’s another thing I’m super looking forward to when I go to Auckland.  If it seems like I’m obsessed with food, it’s because I am - but I am especially obsessed with getting all of the bread and sugar I can into myself in the next week because next week I’m starting the keto diet and I’m dying a little inside just thinking about it, I really fucking love sugar and bread.

regular oreos or golden oreos?  regular.

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?  rainbow.

what shirt are you wearing?  t-shirt with very thin stripes.

what is your phone background?  beyoncé in the formation video.

are you outgoing or shy?  depends on the context, but mostly shy.

do you like it when people play with your hair?  yeah.

do you like your neighbors?  I don’t know them but they seem nice in passing.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?  always.

have you ever been high?  yes.

have you ever been drunk?  yes.

last thing you ate?  cheesecake.

favorite lyrics right now?  eh.

summer or winter?  SUMMER.

day or night?  Idk I like both, it depends.

dark, milk, or white chocolate?  milk.

favorite month?  January.

what is your zodiac sign?  Aries but I don’t believe in that shit.

who was the last person you cried in front of?  Either my therapist or Owen and Autumn, I can’t remember.  Possibly both, I went through a stage of pretty much constantly crying a couple of weeks back lmao.

#lottieface #question thingy #as always kudos to anyone who reads even half of this shit