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sleepycyborgz · 1 year

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Rick and Giovanni breaking into a terrorist organisation to fix their Yugiho cards. That’s it thats the fic. Enjoy me trying to be funny <3

Ao3 link:

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Rick followed the black string coming out of his heart with a bounce in each step. He and Giovanni were both planning to meet up at the arcade since Crusher’s mum got sick of cleaning up the mess they both left every Friday. They both had this system set up for a while now. Every Friday, Rick would come over to headquarters to do stuff since he usually couldn’t join in many evil schemes due to working for S.T.E.M now. He loved working there absolutely but it was nice to take a break and “hang out” with people who were definitely his friends. Whereas with his work friends, he was only like 70% sure they actually liked him. (At least the strings were still there though.)

Last week, Giovanni had brought a pack of these strange-looking cards. They reminded Rick of the Tarot cards he used to have as a kid but these had a bunch of writing underneath the picture. Giovanni called them “Yu-gi-oh” cards. Rick originally thought they were just like tarot and tried to give Giovanni a reading but he was quickly stopped after telling Gio that all he needs to do to succeed in life was to draw three cards from his deck and add them to his hand.

Giovanni explained that the cards weren't for reading fortunes but were actually for a game. Apparently, all you had to do was use these cards to fight against your opponent to bring their hit points down to 0. Rick played a few games against Giovanni most of which he lost but he was just happy to hang out with a friend at all really. Giovanni said it was fun too and that he actually wanted to play again next Friday. Rick had gotten really excited over this and looked up a bunch of guides when he got home and he even bought a starter pack and some extra spare packs with some of the money Naven lent him. Naven specifically told Rick that the money was for important things like buying food and paying rent and Rick was pretty sure buying Yu-gi-oh cards would also be included on the list! Keeping up friendships was pretty important after all.

Rick had the starter pack and extra cards carefully stored in a small backpack that Phoenicia had gotten him. It was pastel blue and purple with white glimmers and little starfish stitched onto it. Phoenicia had also given him a little sheep charm she made with those crocheting kits with 10 different designs to choose from. Trixie and Molly also got him a crow and bear respectively which they both made using the same kit after Feenie begged them both to help her make them. Rick absolutely adored the bag and took it everywhere, even if it got some weird looks from strangers.

Which made tripping over nothing and dropping the bag in a puddle all the more devastating.

Rick shuffled over to the bag in a panic, barely even feeling the impact of the fall over the adrenaline. The bottom of the bag was now soaking wet, covered in little bits of concrete and whatever else would be on a city footpath. But even that was nothing compared to the terror of seeing the bag’s zipper wide open and the cards Rick had just bought being scattered across the floor.

Rick scrambled over to each card and picked them all up carefully so they wouldn’t get any more damage. Thankfully most of the cards were unharmed. The worst damage Rick could spot was a bit of scratching on the back but not too bad!

Then Rick turned around and saw it. His blue eyes white dragon, the card that Giovanni told him was the most valuable card you could get. One he had managed to pull from a random packet and screamed so loud out of his excitement over it his neighbours filed a noise complaint. Sitting face up in a puddle, soaking wet.

Rick sat right next to the puddle, staring at it with a glossy look in his eyes. Before breaking out into a full-body sob. Morning over the card he’d gotten yesterday like he was standing over a beloved pet’s grave.

“Woah dude, are you alright?” Rick looked up, tears still clinging to his cheeks, only to see the same evil boss that he’d bought the cards for, holding two cups of a strange drink with black pearls floating at the bottom. Rick tried to apologise for dropping the cards he just ruined but whatever came out of his mouth was completely incomprehensible. Giovanni looked around and saw the pastel backpack now covered in dirt, gravel, and everything else gross you can find on a city footpath.

“Hey man, it’s alright.” Giovanni squatted down to match Rick’s eye level, a gentle smile on his face. “We can get that bag cleaned no problem, no need to get so worked up over it! I think my uncles have this detergent that can clean pretty much anything so I can just ask him to help with that if we can’t do it.” Rick swallowed the tears clogging the back of his throat and finally managed to form a clear sentence.

“That’s not it.” The wizard said, his voice still wavering.

“Huh?”

Rick pointed over to the card in the puddle. Giovanni stared at it for a moment, before grabbing Rick by the scarf and shaking him so fast Rick’s sunglasses nearly fell off his face.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU PUT IT IN A SLEEVE?!” Giovanni yelled with tears in his eyes.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!” Rick yelled back just as loud with just as many tears.

Giovanni let go of Rick and dropped to his hands and knees over the puddle. “It’s too late to save it now…” He said like a video game war general during the darkest hour. “It’s gone…” Rick joined him. The two men cried over that puddle in silence over the body of their most prized possession that lasted like a week. The people walking past just squeezed past the two somehow legal adults sobbing over a Yugioh card.

“WAIT A MOMENT!” Rick yelled, Giovanni looked up at him with tears still in his eyes. “I know a colleague who has an epithet who can reverse time. I’m not exactly friends with her yet however, we might be able to convince her to save this strange tarot card!”

Giovanni’s eyes sparkled with hope as he carefully grabbed the card and stood up, taking a dramatic pose that he’d definitely practised in the mirror that morning but Rick looked at him like he just saved his life regardless. “Then let’s go find her!”

—

“Zora,” Static rang out from the speakers above the table, the voice underneath it calm and controlled. “I believe that we should try a less direct approach with collecting the arsene amulet. So I am instructing Yoomtah to lead the search for the amulet instead.”

“WHAT!? THAT’S BULLSHIT!” The cowgirl yelled, slamming her fist into the table. The electric gremlin giggled beside her.

“Thank you boss~” Yoomtah said in a sing-song tone, subtly sticking her tongue out at Zora when their shadowy leader wasn’t looking. Which only made the cowgirl’s rage rise further. Moot stared at both of them under her hood, ready to grab Zora if the energetic cyborg pushed one too many of her buttons. A tired sigh rattled the speakers.

“I apologise Zora but your skillset just isn’t needed for this plan.”

“Wait, plan?”

The shadow nodded its head. Despite the lack of pupils, it had everyone could feel the leader’s eyes on them. Their gaze pierced each of their souls and revealed every part of them. Zora and Moot both shuffled a bit meanwhile Yoomtah stayed perfectly still, staring at the screen with eyes full of admiration.

“We should try and approach this from a different angle. Moot,” The hooded figure lifted her head. “After Yoomtah finds the location of the amulet, you will go collect it. Try not to kill as many people as last time, we don’t want to cause a scene.” The figure contemplated for a moment, before nodding.

“Alright, good. Yoomtah, I have a couple of locations for you to scout out where the amulet might be, first is the Sweet Jazz police department, since that’s who Zora said grabbed it.” Zora grumbled something about how the two people she met in redwood run cheated somehow. “If we’re lucky, it will be there and we can get in and collect the amulet before anyone even knows we took it-

SLAM!

A loud bang swept through the massive meeting room. Zora screamed “HOLY FUCK!” at the top of her lungs and aimed her gun right at the door. Moot jumped a bit before her head swooped around towards the noise. Yoomtah just casually tilted her head towards it. They didn’t know who to expect at the door but it definitely wasn’t two young men with brightly coloured hair and tear marks running down their faces.

“Oh hey, Rick!” Yoomtah chirped, the others stared at her. “Oh, yea! I kinda gave him the keys to the building in case he wanted to hang out with us!”

“Why did you do that…” Moot asked, disappointment clear in her tone that somehow flew completely over the cyborg’s head.

“Cause these meetings get BOR-RING! And Rick’s always fun to be around! He kinda doesn’t know anything so making him eat inedible stuff is funny. No idea who the other guy is though.” Yoomtah giggled, kicking her legs under the table as she explained.

“Do you realise how dangerous that is? If he heard half what we were talking about then we’d have to kill both of them.”

“Well in that case we’ve heard absolutely nothing!” Rick chimed in, an unsettlingly wide smile stretched across his face. “We didn’t come here to spy on any conversations anyway. We came because we have a favour to ask Zora over there.” Zora leaned back in her chair, eyeing the strange man. Welp, as long as taking this job pissed Moot off then it was worth it.

“...Well I’m not exactly busy right now since someone took my job. Who d’you want me to track down?” Despite this guy’s… frankly creepy demeanour, he didn’t seem like the type of person who’d hire a bounty hunter. Maybe he wanted revenge on the person who fired him from his job. He definitely looked homeless so it seemed like the most likely option. She probably wouldn’t get too much cash off the weirdo but she was sure that her prey probably had enough funds to cover him plenty.

“...Huh?” Rick tilted his head like a confused dog. “What do you mean by that?” Zora stared at the man with very unsubtle judgement. Was this guy serious? How do you walk up to a terrorist hideout, somehow make it past all the security, ask the contract killer for a favour, and not know that she murdered people for her job?! “We aren’t trying to find someone. We’re actually trying to fix something.’ Before Zora could ask what he meant by that, the pink-haired boy jumped out from behind Rick and scrounged around in man purse before pulling out a piece of wet cardboard.

“Please fix our blue eyes white dragon. It fell into a puddle on the way to my house and I wanna show Rick how to play.” The teenager begged on his knees in front of the cowboy. She stared at the card before breaking out into a hysterical laugh.

“Are you serious!?”

Giovanni looked up at her with determination is his eyes. “Very.”

“Hmm, alright! I like you two weirdos enough. However, it’s gonna cost ya.” The two young men stared at her wide-eyed before looking at each other. The pink-haired one scrambled off the floor and ran to Rick before they both whispered frantically at each other. Zora managed to pick up the name Giovanni which she assumed was the pink-haired one’s name. Rick dug through his wallet but he didn’t seem to have much cash on him. Based on the cringe from Giovanni when Rick asked him for cash, he didn’t have much either. Giovanni turned towards the table with a lot less confidence than before.

“I, uhh,” he stumbled, “Oh! My animal crossing town has really good turnip prices right now! Almost six hundred bells. We could trade you that!” Giovanni said like Zora understood a single word he just said. How the hell does this guy own a whole town? And why would she sell him turnips in exchange for bells? Why does he want that many turnips?! Zora paused before letting out a long sigh, a smirk appearing on her face.

“Look kid, you’ve got a big heart but I’m gonna have to decli-“ Zora was cut off when she felt a white glove grab her scarf and quickly pull her away from her ‘clients’.

“Listen,” Yoomtah started, her voice way more serious than Zora was used to. “I’ve got at least 500 turnips I gotta sell stat. If you turn this down, I will not hesitate to snap your spine and use it as a back scratcher~” Yoomtah sang despite the threat. Zora looked at the two goobers then looked back at the gremlin that just threatened to kill her.

“Fine, fine. I’ll fix it for ya. But only if you hand over those bells for… turnips. Seriously Yoomtah, why do you have so many of those?.” The two men’s eyes sparkled with pure joy.

“Thank you Zora! We don’t know what we would’ve done without you!” Rick shook Zora’s hand so hard she nearly fell over. Giovanni reached his hand into his purse and pulled out his switch absolutely covered in stickers, most of which appeared to have the same brand of ‘cool’ as a back-to-school lunchbox. Yoomtah pulled out her own switch which was also covered in stickers, these ones being mostly cute mascots with the most unhinged text possible underneath them. As they exchanged friend codes, Zora used her years of training and hard work to repair the drenched Yugioh card. Rick stared in awe as any damage the card has taken was reversed in the blink of an eye.

“Thank you, you just saved our whole Friday,” Rick said again. Zora waved her hand at the homeless-looking man.

“Yea yea don’t mention it… actually never mention it, ever.” Zora smiled at him with enough hidden annoyance that it might as well of be written all over her face. Rick was apparently illiterate though and politely returned her creepy smile with one of his own.

“Anddd~ done!” Yoomtah popped up from her hunched-over pose over the switch. Giovanni closed the game and headed over to Rick with a smile. Making wild gestures with his hands as he talked about how cool his work friends' switch was. They both waved goodbye as they opened the door to leave.

“HEY RICK! WANNA GO GET FOOD TOMORROW?!” Yoomtah shouted just before Giovanni could close it. “I KNOW A GOOD SEAFOOD PLACE!”

“Yes, I would love to join you! Thank you Yoomtah!” Rick shouted just as loud. And with that, the door was closed. Everyone in the room other than the tiny electric woman still trying to process what the hell just happened.

“I can’t fuckin’ believe ya just gave some RANDOM GUY the keys to the building! He could’ve just outed the entirety of Bliss Ocean damn it! Do ya realise how many cops we’d have to get rid of?”

“He’s not random though. He’s my friend there’s a difference.” Yoomtah smiled with her tongue sticking out. The two went back and forth, Zora giving Yoomtah a perfectly reasonable reason to be upset, and Yoomtah basically responding with ‘Lol stay mad’. The hooded figure with glasses let out an annoyed huff at the lack of professionalism.

“Sir, should we go after them? They present a massive risk to our operation.” She asked, trying to ignore Zora and Yoomtah’s bickering.

The boss let out a static-filled sigh. “Don’t worry, I just so happen to know these young men. They’re rather sweet but more importantly harmless. They don’t pose a threat to our plan.”

—

From outside the door, both an official and unofficial weenie talked about whatever came to mind as they walked through the terrorist organisation's halls.

“And then, just as the boyfriend thought he was going to kill her, the wind took the disguise away and revealed it was actually Len!” Giovanni blabbered about this one music video he’d seen, Rick listening intently to every word. They both walked out the front door and eventually made it to home base. Both played the card game at least thirty times and watched the rest of season one of the anime before passing out on the couch. Their dumb smiles still carrying over in their sleep.

#epithet erased #rick shades #giovanni potage #soupmates #giorick #idk if this counts as shipping but like y’all are starved for content so I’m more than willing to hand over the table scraps #yoomtah zing #zora salazar #moot tarbella #I have no idea what Moot’s like in anime campaign #if you watched AC just pretend she’s anyone else I guess #fanfiction #fanfic #crack taken seriously

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