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on the thought of "JL/LSZ is incest", imagine: someone tries to claim this to them, and they are inspired to play it up in the bedroom that night. Jin Ling thinks it's funny, while Sizhui is just warmed by the reminder of how much family he has now. :")

“UNGH! Oh YEAH! Cousin, give me that fat dick!”


“I’m gonna ride you until you come your brains out, cousin!”

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Jin Ling wants to marry Lan SiZhui but first he gotta go through his gauntlet of guardians. He has to prove his fuckability to Lan WangJi, prove his fucking ability to Wei WuXian, get the Lan sect leader's 'permission' to marry a Lan disciple, display his patience and endurance to Lan QiRen, and finally get rawed for a full day unceasing by Wen Ning's magic zombie cock. Meanwhile, Lan SiZhui is asking permission to marry Jin Ling from Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng's Zidian...;)

I like this universe where in order to be allowed to marry, you’ve gotta just seduce your fiancee’s relatives into liking you. 

I’m glad I don’t live there. But I like it.

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Xichen: This is my cultivation partner Jiang Cheng, he’s so smart and handsome and I’m so proud of him.
Wangji: This is my beautiful husband Wei Ying, he’s my angel and I love him so much.
Sizhui: This is Jin Ling, he has rabies.
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Jingyi: Hey, Sizhui, what kind of guys do you like?
Sizhui: Hmm . . . Tough guys!
Jin Ling: I had to lock Fairy up when Uncle Wei came to visit.
Sizhui: But actually I like sensitive ones more.
Jin Ling: After locking Fairy up, I cried for ten hours straight.
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For the folks who asked for more Jin Ling fic on tumblr and AO3! Mild Wangxian and Zhuiling. Also a bit of belated happy birthday to Wei Wuxian. <3 

Unedited, so apologies for mistakes.

Jin Ling cannot believe he agreed to this madness. He turns to scowl at Little Apple, who looks up at him with a bored expression, jaw moving slowly, blades of grass protruding from his mouth.

Who takes a donkey on walks?

Only Wei Wuxian would treat his donkey like a pet dog, overfeeding him with apples and bales of expensive hay. All paid for by Lan Wangji, no doubt. Now the fat bastard is the size of a baby elephant, his movements slow and ponderous as Jin Ling leads him up the slope to greener pastures, yanking at his reins.

By right, either Lan Sizhui or Lan Jingyi should be carrying out this task; they’re the idiots who promised to look after Little Apple in Wei Wuxian’s absence. But they’re having some sort of self-reflection session, punishment for going on one too many night hunts with Wen Ning.

So Jin Ling says yes. How can he resist, with Lan Sizhui clasping his hands in his, eyes soft and earnest and a beautiful shade of grey?

Together, with Jin Ling tugging at the reins, they arrive at the meadow that’s blue-green and rustling in the wind, looking almost combed. When Little Apple trots through the grass, finally showing a little more interest in his surroundings, Jin Ling sinks down and stretches his legs out, leaning back on his hands. The clouds are white, gathering in the sky; the grass, damp, a gentle tickle beneath his palms.

It’s peaceful here. Serene. The kind of quiet that calms and warms one’s soul, different from the purposeful, meditative silence of the Cloud Recesses.

Maybe this isn’t so bad.

Maybe this is what he needs. Away from the chaos of his Sect, the temper of his uncle, the dark, disapproving looks of Lan Qiren.

“—and then, mama, and then he said—”

Jin Ling turns to see a lady strolling past with a small boy, his little hand grasped in hers. Their arms swing as they walk, the boy chattering on about the game of hide-and-seek his friends have invented, about the new toys they’ve got and oh, could he have them too? His mother nods and listens, chiding him gently when he starts to hop across stones on the ground, nearly tripping over a large one.

Something painful happens inside Jin Ling’s chest, deep and aching as an old bruise.

Looking away, he calls out to Little Apple. 

“Hey, did you grow up with parents?”

The donkey’s ears prick up before he lifts his head and stares at Jin Ling, cheeks filled with grass.

“I’ve always wondered,“ Jin Ling mutters. “What it’s like to have my mom hold my hand and wipe dirt off my cheeks, or my dad carry me on his shoulders and… and personally pass on Suihua to me.” His gaze falls to the handle of his sword. “It was nice to get it from uncle, but uncle is… uncle.”

Little Apple lets out a loud snort.

“I know right. No ‘I can’t wait to watch you wield it’ or ‘I’m so proud of you, son.’ Just one toss and a, ‘Can’t you even catch a sword right?’”

Exhaling, Jin Ling flops onto his back, arms spread open. He does remember a gentle voice humming lullabies in his ear. Remember the soft kisses, the loving words, the happiness and warmth around him. But it’s vague, so vague, and Jin Ling wishes he had memories he could cradle close to his heart.

Something real.

“Want to hear something really crazy?” he says.

The breath Little Apple huffs is low, his tail whisking back and forth.

“Knowing what I know now… I…” Jin Ling breathes out his next words in a rush. “I wouldn’t have minded being raised by your stupid owner.”

Little Apple looks at him as if he’s grown two heads.

Jin Ling throws an arm over his eyes. “Told you it was crazy!”

“What’s crazy?”

“That I thought Wei Wuxian would be a—”

That voice.

The playfulness of it, the light, musical tenor.

Jin Ling chokes mid-sentence, jolting upright.

Keep reading

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Wanted to doodle a little bit of their morning routine~ When he’s older…I’d like to see A-Ling’s hair sweep the floor when it’s down, so the braid helps shorten it a bit~

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