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a year and a half later, you call me again. tell me you’re getting engaged. say i know you’re not coming but i just wanted you to know. and me faking another congratulations, i’m so happy for you. i am. i’m just not happy for me but that’s all on me i guess.
I just realized that technically I’m RL Lara Jean. Still hate driving because I’m terrified af. I spend most of my time in my head. Or reading about fictional characters falling in love but shooting down every person who shows a hint of interest. Falling for the boy who was hung up on his ex of 3 years, but never failed to go out of his way to make me smile.
It snuck up on me. The tiny notes left on my desk at the office. The impromptu slow dancing when no one was around. The long hugs with my face buried in your chest. The body tackles that always started with me messing up your soft curly hair. Your smile that literally made my heart skip a beat. The time we took turns trying every single seat on the fastest rollercoaster in the world when we were out of town on a business trip. The wide grins and tickle fights midair. The way you told me I was the fastest person you’ve ever loved. When you’d always play my favorite songs in your car.
To when I was too insecure because I thought you were too hot for me, captain of the football team. To when I was too scared of your history with your ex that I pushed you to get back together with her. When you called me right before you went to propose to ask me a mundane question about your broken laptop. To you getting engaged and me not going to the engagement party. To you breaking off the engagement and me still not doing anything about it even though I know you’re my soulmate. I still love you.
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this applies to Always and Forever, too apparently. EVERYTHING about the last 2 movies is forced. their dynamic is stale and artificial. Lara Jean’s wardrobe is trying too hard to be “Lara Jean”, it’s borderline ill fitting mod. idek where the hell Stanford and NYU came from. it’s such a shame ‘cause Always and Forever, Lara Jean was by far my most favorite book of all three. Peter’s struggles with his father. His constant efforts to make sure they stay together despite his mother’s attempts at separating them. The promposal on top the Empire State Building. Her surprise Sixteen Candles birthday party. Him being there for her father and Kitty even when they’re broken up. His character has so much depth in the books, yet the movie makes him out to be just another popular jock. UGH.
I watched To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before again and it’s SO much more intimate and organic than P.S: I Still Love You. It doesn’t feel stylized, it’s just that was its style. All the characters were more genuine, more real. They didn’t randomly break into song gliding down a hallway, or spontaneously levitate. I think the director’s change really did this sequel a disservice. That’s what happens when you try to revamp an indie movie, all its endearing qualities become artificial. It’s just so sad cause it had so much potential, but that’s what happens with big budgets.
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‘Cause we were both young when I first saw you. 💚
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You: the kissing booth
Me, an intellectual: to all the boys I’ve loved before
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𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.
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‘Cause you were never mine, never mine.
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should’ve known that we were gonna get a basic awkward diner promposal instead of the epic promposal on top of the Empire State Building because 2020 is the year of disappointments.
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I love one man and his name is andy samberg
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don’t be hard on yourself during quarantine. it’s okay if you aren’t being productive. it’s okay if you’re not feeling inspired. it’s okay if you’ve been sleeping in. its okay if your grades aren’t great. its okay if you’re unmotivated. it’s okay if you aren’t exercising daily. it’s okay if you’re eating more than usual. it’s okay if you’re gaining weight. your routine is different than what you were accustomed to. your life has taken a change. it’s only normal that your habits and behaviors do, too. with that being said though, please remember to take care of yourselves. sometimes too much (or too little) of something can seriously affect your mental health. while however you’re handling quarantine is fine, consider diversifying what you do every now and then as an act of self-care if you feel yourself slipping into a depressive or anxious state. this could be anything: from taking a bath, drawing a picture, or going outside, to baking a treat, playing an instrument, or finishing a show—anything you haven’t done in awhile. sometimes switching things up helps combat negativity; breaking a physical cycle can affect a mental one.
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The problem with writing is I am equally inspired and intimidated by every book I read.
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I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious. - Albert Einstein.
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It was my first big chance, but here I was, sitting back and letting it run through my fingers like so much water.
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar (via bookmania)
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No gifs would have done this scene justice so
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“I put my hand to his chest, over his heart. I can feel it beating. I let my hand fall away. His heart is mine, just mine. I believe it now. Mine to protect and care for, mine to break.”
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He looks at me, his eyes hard. “Is this a date? Are you on a date with him? And who the hell’s car is this?” I turn back to look. Peter is staring after us, his mouth open. He’s jealous, and I’m glad.
Peter pulls something out of his pocket and drops it into my palms. My heart locket. “It’s yours.” I blink. “Peter, I can’t accept this.” I try to give it back, but he shakes his head; he won’t take it. “Peter, please.” “No. When I get you back, I’m gonna put that necklace back around your neck and pin you.” He tries to hold my eyes with his own. “Like the 1950s. Remember, Lara Jean?”
I open my mouth and then close it. “I don’t think pin means what you think it means,” I tell him, holding the necklace out to him. “Please, just take it.” “Tell me what your wish is,” he urges. “Wish for anything, and I’ll give it to you, Lara Jean. All you have to do is ask.”
“I feel dizzy. All around us, people are exiting the building, walking to their cars. John is standing beside me, and Peter is looking at me like we’re the only two people here. Anywhere.
It’s John’s voice that makes me break away. “What are you doing, Kavinsky?” John says, shaking his head. “This is pathetic. You treated her like garbage and now you decide you want her back?”
“Stay out of it, Sundance Kid,” Peter snaps. To me he says softly, “You promised you wouldn’t break my heart. In the contract you said you wouldn’t, but you did, Covey.” I’ve never heard him sound so sincere, so heartfelt. 
I put my hand to his chest, over his heart. I can feel it beating. I let my hand fall away. His heart is mine, just mine. I believe it now. Mine to protect and care for, mine to break.
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