I fic and art. Tumblr is my happy place. If you want to see just my art, you can find it at @teddylarchiviste. Like my art or writing? I love coffee!
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Okay, but I wanna see a superhero story where the guy is absolute shit about covering his identity up, and before long it’s NOT a secret to anyone… but the hero. And like, his entire office/school/neighbourhood puts all the real work into keeping his identity secret from the world at large while simultaneously working together to make sure the hero doesn’t know they’re doing it.
“Man, that guy looks just like The Masked Protector.”
“Shut it!”
“No, really, look… he’s the right height, skin tone, eye color, and he’s even got that–”
“NO, REALLY, SHUT IT.”
“I’m just saying–”
“Look, Ralph has saved the planet twice, and this town like fifteen times. He needs to be able to take off his mask and have a normal life. If he figures out we all know, he won’t be able to relax. So Shut. The Fuck. Up.”
…..
“Oh, shit, it’s about to come over the radio that there’s a bank robbery. Can someone send Ralph for coffee?”
…..
“Hey, Jolene, it’s Marsha. Look, my house caught fire and Ralph is over here in costume putting it out while I wait for the fire department. I know you guys had a date tonight….”
“Thanks, Marsha. I’ll call him and tell him I’m running late so he doesn’t stress about it.”
…..
“Hey, let’s do a Masked Protector Cosplay Contest.”
“That’s a little on the nose, don’t you think?”
“Well, Ralph hasn’t updated his costume since the mid eighties. I’ve hired a couple of designers to come up with some new designs, maybe it will give him some inspiration…”
…..
“How the hell did you manage to knock over the whole table?”
“Oh, Ralph needed a distraction so he could {finger quotes} ‘slip away unnoticed’.”
…..
“God, it was a disaster. Me and Ralph were in the elevator when the bad guy shut off the power. I had to fake a seizure so Ralph could get away.”
……
”Kids, you can’t play on the fire escape. How’s Ralph going to fly out his window with you sitting RIGHT THERE?”
…..
“Jolene, what’s wrong?”
“I was talking to Ralph about maybe spicing things up in the bedroom. Maybe some role play. I wanted to do him in the costume, just once, y’know?”
“Uh-oh… did he catch on?”
“Well, no, he agreed….” <sobs>
“Jolene?”
“He asked me to dress up as Statuesque!” <WAILS>
Hold on now Alice, let’s not say things like that so early on in the series, that typically doesn’t work out super well when your a Jonny Sims character, lest I remind you: