Anton: Do you take constructive criticism?
Percy: I only take cash or credit.
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Remy: Dude—
Nate: You just had your tongue down my throat not even an entire hour ago do NOT call me dude
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Harley: Things I want: snuggles
Harley: Things I get: struggles
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Nessy: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I’m falling asleep already.
Nessy: “Cowards”, on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.
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Brian: Okay, but why NOT join the Illuminati?
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Nessy: I guess I’m just too tough to cry
Anton: just yesterday you were crying over snakes
Nessy, sobbing: THEY DON’T HAVE ANY ARMS
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Nessy: Can we have a birthday cake?
Anton: It’s not your birthday.
Nessy: The cake won’t know.
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Brian: Sometimes I can’t believe you two decided to move in together.
Remy: Excuse me. We are both sophisticated adults.
Nate: Yeah. Just yesterday we purchased a vegetable.
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Nessy: Hey, what does LMAO mean?
Percy: Let Me Ask Obama.
Nessy: …Okay…
Anton, narrating: And from that day on, Nessy believed LMAO meant Let Me Ask Obama.
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Jobe: Tall people are the enemy
Remy: I can’t even see you hating all the way down there
Jobe: I will tie your shoelaces together and you won’t even know until it’s too late.
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The Demons Have Misplaced Their God - Part 2
“Get us out, get us out, get us out!” Harley’s screeching was not, in fact, helping, but he seemed to think it was.
Keep reading
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Harley: I’m ignoring you
Brian:
Harley: I said I’m ignoring you!
Brian:
Harley: Don’t ignore me ignoring you!
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Remy: Brian, how could you spend our money like this?
Brian, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside Remy, they need this.
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Nate: The fact that I am considered an adult is both terrifying and hilarious.
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Harley: Why are you like this?
Remy: I used too much “No More Tears” shampoo as a child and haven’t felt a single emotion since then.
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Nate: Make sure you put on sunscreen!
Remy: Nah, I don’t need any.
Nate:
Nate: You think you’re stronger than the sun?
Nate: The fucking sun?
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Internet: Would you slap your sibling for $1.5 million?
Jobe: I would slap Nate for looking at me.
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