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hating what you love has been protecting me, but its killed something else inside of me too.
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Sometimes I wonder if your wandering thoughts wonder about me.
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phone wallpapers : red
♥ → 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 > 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚊𝚐 #𝚜𝚢𝚛𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜
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is this what we've been reduced to? rather than saying you love me with your own words, you send an insta post that does all the work for you.
and i'll double tap heart react and close the app, momentarily relieved that you thought of me.
-thoughts when i'm alone, lonely
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"tell me it's you or nothing at all"
-Lydia, this is twice now
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god i. literally need to be in love. if i dont have someone to obsess over im literally lost. what is wrong with me.
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im so upset because my whole life everyone in my family had so much shit going on that i diminished my own so that i wouldnt be a burden on them and pushed everything down and made myself so small and now that im not doing that someone who is supposed to love me is telling me to be small again
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im so upset because my whole life everyone in my family had so much shit going on that i diminished my own so that i wouldnt be a burden on them and pushed everything down and made myself so small and now that im not doing that someone who is supposed to love me is telling me to be small again
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i wont kill myself if i get that tattoo it will hold me here and ground me in my pain and nail me to the floor like a rat stuck in a glue trap, but what if i took off that tattoo what if i just cut it out cut it off skin myself alive thats what i do for other people i give and i give and i have so much to give cause mom and dad were so caught up in their own storms they couldnt take care of mine and i didnt feel allowed to have my own storms so i have these clouds and i want to scream and rip myself open and give every piece of myself so i dont end up like mom and dad and apparently that's called codependence i thought it was love but maybe thats why it hurts so much
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im going to start typing out my spirals and see what happens if i scream into this void instead of the void of my notes app
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“if we must go we must go but i, i will not go. i will sit in a burning house because it is warm. i will ask you to let me come back home.”
-they will remain anonymous
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TW SH
the doctor today: are you suicidal?
me: no but im relating to sylvia plath quotes isn't that kinda more concerning
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animals with cigarettes
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sometimes i wonder if people who promote mental health awareness understand not all of us have the ability to get better because our issues are directly connected to things out of our control.  doesn’t matter how many pills you take. how many times you go to therapy. you’ll never be at peace as long as you’re stuck in a situation you never asked to be part of. 
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https://steverosephd.com/how-to-heal-from-emotionally-unavailable-parents/
I enjoyed reading this, sharing for anyone else it may be supportive of, too
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i don't know how to let people love me
i want to give them my love and my everything but as soon as they give it back i freeze
what is wrong with me
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