unintentionallyweird

[unintentionallyweird]

[unintentionallyweird]

today might have been the day I met the worst psychiatrist there is and now I just need to rant a little

so I was booked for a 50 minute appointment and she basically threw me out after 15 minutes claiming she didn't have time for this appointment anyway and I shouldn't have gotten it in the first place (though I was assigned her services by a Hotline ¿)

since I don't have a therapist rn and it was my first time meeting her I had prepared a list of things I wanted to talk about including questions etc

when she saw my list she immediately told me to put it away bc she didn't want me to "read anything off of a sheet" and when I told her I wanted to make sure I didn't forget about anything important (cause I sometimes block out entire parts of my life) she basically told me she didn't care, she knew better about it than me... (just being super rude generally)

so before the conversation has even started I am basically choking back tears so she goes "well you really gotta try at least *a little*, how am I supposed to understand anything otherwise" (maybe look at my list? idk)

so that was super difficult, then after a while I managed to bring up depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts and she was basically like "you shouldn't have come here I don't have time for this anyway, how am I supposed to help"

so I asked her whether she could help me get into an inpatient-program and give me some time off from uni and my exams and she was like "I'm not your therapist, why don't you go see your therapist" (because I don't have one thank you very much)

so after those very unproductive couple of minutes she basically told me to leave if I didn't have any more questions although I was basically having a panic attack in front of her, but she just told me she wouldn't have any more appointments for me, she was going on vacation soon (although I am entitled to another 10 appointments

Also not once did she ask me about how suicidal I was feeling at that moment

in advance I had agreed to calling my boyfriend after the appointment so he basically caught me in the midst of my panic and calmed me down and helped me plan my next steps, if I hadn't had him in that moment i might have done something very impulsive and all triggered by that woman?

I'm at a loss for words

#psychiatrist #depression #anxiety #therapy #suicide #tw #therapy nightmare #rudeness #I'm #therapy stories

[unintentionallyweird]

how do i overthink so much and then Still make the wrong decision

[unintentionallyweird]

[unintentionallyweird]

why is being alive so expensive. i’m not even having a good time

[unintentionallyweird]

[unintentionallyweird]

my boyfriend had to pull me out of the garden today 🌸💓💫

[unintentionallyweird]

[unintentionallyweird]

you are fine. i know everything seems to be moving fast and it all seems so scary right now, but you are absolutely fine. take deep breaths and remember to remain in the present. keep your thoughts light and your burden will subside. your worries will blow away like a leaf on a windy day. the sun will come up tomorrow, the wind will continue to blow. you will be okay. you will be alright.

[unintentionallyweird]

[unintentionallyweird]

Self isolating and then getting upset when you see your friends having fun without you and using this to validate the notion that nobody really needs you or will miss you if you’re gone

[unintentionallyweird]

Googles "how to get over sexual assault"

#tw #trigger warning #sexual assault #mental health #mental illness #anxiety #depression #suicidal thoughts #is there like a reset button or something #please help me

[unintentionallyweird]

I sure love being triggered by what appears to be the most common first name in the English language because boy

#triggers #anxiety #panic attacks #fml #it's been over a year

[unintentionallyweird]

Don’t look back, move forward. There’s no going back, you just have to get over it. I know it’s hard now, but it will get easier, I promise

#motivational #recovery #sexual assault #depression #mental illness

[unintentionallyweird]

i hate knowin that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened

[unintentionallyweird]

[unintentionallyweird]