wlwarie

[wlwarie]

West Wing + Text Posts Part 4

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[wlwarie]

I guess one of the things about my politics is that I'm a principled pluralist in basically every regard, and as far as I can tell this isn't something that's in vogue anywhere on the political spectrum right now. I run up against nationalists by believing in the value of diversity-for-diversity's-sake; I run up against "wokeness" for believing this extends not just to a narrow and rigid selection of identity categories, but to all aspects of the human condition, including ones that might be considered rather ugly; I run up against technocrats of all sorts (leftist, liberal, rightist) for actively opposing the desire to build a socially optimized society, in favor of one that accommodates a wide range of people and things and communities. I just like the world, I think it's beautiful and awe-inspiring and amazing in all its chaos, and I fundamentally don't want to destroy that. I feel like I'm constantly repeating this on here because somehow it seems like deeply held pluralist values are just really rare.

On the other hand, I'm conscious of the ethical burden this sort of thing places on society. There are, in fact, things I am fully against—various forms of violence and suffering and so on—things I truly believe have no place in the world. And this leaves me conflicted! A truly pluralistic society would, at some level, have to accommodate these things too. But of course pluralism isn't my only value, it's tempered by many others, and in the end there are some things I don't want society to accommodate. But deciding precisely what these things are is hard: from a utilitarian perspective, everything that isn't ruthless optimization for the Good is, in some sense, evil. I am actively opposed to taking things that far, but if I have any ethics at all (which I do), the line must be drawn somewhere. I think that precisely where to draw it is the single biggest philosophical struggle that I have, politically speaking.

Anyway, just trying to articulate this again. I feel very... unusual in looking at things this way.

[wlwarie]

Ok, so suppose I am Just Some Guy. And suppose that I would like to see certain social and political outcomes. Like, seriously, straight up: what should I even do?

The reformist says vote. Which, yeah, I think is probably worth doing. But 1) you only get to do it very occasionally, and 2) the effect size is absolutely miniscule. So, sure, I vote, but if I really want to see change in the world, that on its own is not going to be satisfying to me.

The revolutionist says, you know, prepare for The Revolution. Raise (class, other) consciousness, or organize a cadre or whatever. And, sure, spreading (class, other) consciousness is something I can do, that probably helps in general, but again, the effect size is tiny. And like it or not, The Revolution is not coming any time soon, if ever. Pretty sure getting involved in an actual militant group would be a waste of my fucking time, in that it would have zero positive effect because the revolution is not fucking happening. And zero positive effect is a net negative effect because of opportunity cost. So, then, raise consciousness. Well I guess that's half of what Posting is, and I'm pretty good at arguing for my positions IRL too. So got that one squared away.

And then there's the... well, they don't really have a name, but the camp who says "do direct action under the current system, even if it doesn't lead directly to revolutionary change". And yeah, they are obviously correct. Unionize. Volunteer at (useful) things. Protest shit. Etc. And I think that's the best shot most people have at making real change in the world, but it still feels so hopelessly inadequate. Like the gears of power are turning, working themselves in various directions far above you, and the best you can do is sort of... very slightly resist their momentum and nudge them in a different direction, even when organizing with lots and lots of other people.

And I've tried to keep this post general so far, but now I'll be specific: how does one most effectively achieve socialist policy aims in the United States at this time? Cause to be honest, when I really think about it, seems like the answer is "just can't, sorry". Like it's just... not going to happen. And voting and direct action and consciousness-raising are still all probably worth it, because when you've got a big bleeding wound, having a band-aid is better than having nothing, but that's not very heartening. And since the pandemic the labor movement seems to have been getting stronger, which is definite cause for hope, but it's been in such a sorry state for so long that things still seem quite dark.

And I'm writing all this in light of the Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, which has got me thinking about what political victory even looks like. I mean, conservatives fought for this for fifty years, and they got it, and for what? Is their dream of a traditionalist monocultural society now realized? No, not even remotely. Have they made any inroads towards the sort of world they want to live in? Barely, I'd say, when it really comes down to it. They've done a huge amount of harm to a huge amount of people, and spent half a century of effort, and they've gotten what I imagine must feel like the hollowest victory possible.

So is that what political change necessarily looks like? You fight for fifty years through the halls of power for one tiny morsel of your ideological program, and then you get it, but the rest of the world has moved on to such a degree that you still feel like it's a losing battle (as, from talking to them, I think conservatives basically do)?

Anyway, just some thoughts.

[wlwarie]

Democrats: *Had literally decades--decades!--to codify Roe v Wade into law* *have seen Republicans working for years to curtail or overturn it* *have done absolutely nothing in the mean time to stop them* *have repeatedly been given power to institute all sorts of broadly popular legislation like RvW and over and over again simply refused to do so*

Democrats: This is all your fault for not voting for Democrats instead of YoUr PeRfEcT mAgIcAl UnIcOrN cAnDiDaTe!

[wlwarie]

oh no by marina isn’t even a pop song it’s like a diary entry from god

[wlwarie]

oh no! by marina is actually rhe best song ever made like i feel like im the worst so i always act like im the best if you are not very careful your possessions will possess you tv taught me how to feel now real life has no appeal SLAYED

[wlwarie]

Making a Venn-diagram of me and my Dad in my head. God. I hate myself so much for ever hating him.

I realise there's probably so much, SO MUCH that I don't know about him. It's so terrifying. He probably spends so much time hiding his feelings and I buy right into his act every time. Gosh. Every day I sit here complaining about no one caring enough to see through me yet I never second-guess my Dad's persistent ‘stress-free’ mood and happy-go-lucky attitude. He probably feels so disconnected from everyone and that's such an awful way to be in your adult life; I mean atleast I have the future to have hope for. He probably hates us for not wanting to get to know his side of the family better. Yeah, they've been really shitty to my Mom but he probably still wants us to care more, and knowing him he probably also doesn't even care that they're shitty. Like, whatever. The way he was raised was different from how my Mom was raised and poles apart from my upbringing, for which I'm forever indebted to him. I looove to talk about how unfair it is that my parents don't love me for ‘who I am’ but they probably don't even realise all that. Like my Dad is probably holding a grudge against me for existing and having this life handed to me. If I was him I would, but that's why I'm not going to have kids. But he does have kids. That was expected of him, and he's come far, far beyond what was expected of him.

The worst part is I haven't the slightest idea about how to deal with this. I can't confront him because it will never lead to an honest conversation. Any attempt at clearing the air will just end up being another burden in the form of my emotional needs. I could take up less space but doing that fills me with guilt about every. single. thing. I do. “Can't do well in exams that matter despite being good at the subject because the pressure gives you ‘performance anxiety’?” Yeah, right 🙄 “At a World Expo having a panic attack because you're ‘overstimulated’? Good lord 🙄 “Have 3 types if cheese in the fridge but can't eat anything because you have an ‘eating disorder’?” Shut the fuck up. It comes to a point where I literally have no idea what to do.

Holy shit it's like 3:30 in the morning I'll continue this later. Whatever, I'm sorry Dad. I wish I could get to know you better. I wouldn't mind if you came home a little angry sometimes and took it out on us like Mom does if it meant I could know that you had a bad day. I want to understand you.

[wlwarie]

What the hell is it going to take to get someone to care about me

[wlwarie]

It's like no matter how hard you try, you'll never be someone's special person. You will never be loved for who you are. People might like you and think of you in a positive light but you will never be on anyone's mind for long enough for it to matter because you will never let anyone get close to you.

[wlwarie]

The Russians completely destroyed the 1895 building of the railway station in Okhtyrka, Sumy Region, which had been previously damaged by a Nazi bomb in 1943.

[wlwarie]

Random things. What happens when you protest in Russia? You are immediately arrested. It’s not a game of chance, it’s a guarantee. All protests are forbidden. We are not allowed to call the war – the war, you’ll be fined at best, arrested at worst if you do. In fact, as of today, if you’re caught at an anti-war protest, you’re considered a member of a radical extremist group and are facing 6 years in jail. People “detained” for protesting are invariably beaten. Concussions, contusions, broken bones. Men more so than women, though women can’t rely on it. You can be asked to strip since they “need” to check your underwear. You’ll be verbally abused and threatened the entire time. And yes, of course, it doesn’t stop there, since they now know you and your family and where you all work and live. In this country, there is nothing truly independent, there never was. If the words “1937” mean nothing to you, you are very, very fortunate. For us, it’s this again, only a thousand times worse because now it’s empowered by technology.

The other day they arrested a bunch of kids. Literally kids, four of them, aged seven to eleven. They, along with their mothers were carrying flowers to the Ukrainian embassy and a small simple poster “No to War”. They were all detained and immediately separated, kept locked up for the night. We don’t know how the kids were treated. Mothers had their possessions confiscated, not allowed to call anyone, stripped, yelled at, threatened. The harshest threat was to be stripped of parental rights on the spot, never see their kids again. The kids were released closer to morning when a lawyer from a group that helps people in these situations arrived. I have no idea how these lawyers are still allowed to function. Small mercies. (Support them here: https://donate.ovdinfo.org/)

But it’s not just the pain of punishment or jail sentence. It’s the utter uselessness of it all. He won’t care if half the population comes out to say “No to War”. He won’t care if it’s all of us.

A few days ago, every school in the country received instructions to hold special classes to explain to kids why “the liberating military operation” was necessary and what happens now. The teachers have been given manuals on what to say and how to answer the kids’ questions. Some of the answers include: “Don’t worry if you hear that some countries don’t want to be friends with us anymore. There are other countries who do, and besides, Russia is a very big country, so we have everything you can possibly need right here.” By “other countries”, my guess is, they mean North Korea. After the class, the kids are supposed to take a test. It’s electronic, entered through a QR code, and the answers are automatically logged in. Questions include: “Explain why the liberating military operation was necessary” and “Expand on what the Russian government is doing to help people of Lugansk and Donetsk.” The results of the test are tallied, and if some kid doesn’t give the right ones, their parents are called in for “a talk”.

We will either end up with a bunch of really smart kids or another generation of completely deluded people. The last time something like this had happened was in 1991, when the Soviet Union was falling, and my classmates and I were asked to make a choice of do we want to pledge allegiance to the communist party or not. I was ten. My class, as I remember, was split roughly in two. The kids who voted “yes” looked at the rest of us with teary eyes and whispered “our parents told us to do it, they are too afraid.” And we got it. We all got it. Nobody hated anybody for the choice, because we all knew that fear and we all knew what it was like, to be hostage of the regime. We who voted “no” knew what we were risking. At ten years old, we were more politically savvy than a lot of full-grown adults across the ocean. It’s not a good thing.

For roughly twenty-something years, we lived in the illusion that we were out of that prison. Sure, our democracy was not perfect, but whose is? It was maybe incredibly naïve of us, but can you blame us that we wanted to believe it? That we still desperately want to, which is why there are a lot of really confused people in the country right now who still can’t grasp that their leadership has betrayed them?They will, in fact, believe anything but this. They will sooner believe him and ignore the facts, because a) they’re not getting the facts, and b) the truth is terrifying.

Nothing has changed. We’re still in the USSR. Yesterday, in Nalchik, students of the local university were ordered to go out and express their support for the president. They had no warning. At some point the university staff members entered their classrooms, handed out banners and t-shirts, and ordered them to go outside “to stand in solidarity” with the president. Refusal was not an option on pain of expulsion. Among other statements, they were made to hold up banners saying #wearenotashamed which should tell you everything you need to know about how the Russian people really feel.

I’m not going to talk about the independent media, because the last survivors of this extremely rare breed are being shut down as we speak. Meduza is still holding up by some miracle, but their turn can be any hour. They have been declared “a foreign agent” some years back, which means that they can no longer be properly financed and have to preface every single post and article with a huge all-caps statement that this information was created by a foreign agent, presumably to turn “loyal citizens” away. They have been subsiding on crowd-funding this whole time, can’t imagine how, since all transactions are now traceable and giving them money is not without consequences. (Support them here: https://support.meduza.io/)

The world has turned away from us, and I get it, but they don’t understand what they’re doing. Or maybe they do but don’t care. I don’t mean this on an emotional level, but purely practical. The more they punish the Russian people, the more, unfortunately but sadly naturally, the Russian people will unite in their support of He Who Must Not Be Named. He will feel even more legitimate in his actions and he won’t stop. Not that I can imagine anything that could make him stop now but… It’s not helping. It might make a lot of people out there feel better about themselves, but it’s not helping.

Worst of all, we can’t help Ukraine. So much as saying that we’re fighting a war or that we are losing that war can earn you up to 15 years in prison for “spreading misinformation.” It’s impossible to send over money, and as for supplies we can only gather those for the refugees that are fleeing to Russia. Our economy is on the brink of collapse, and the people that are running from the war and come here will have to share it with us. We’re doing what we can for them. It’s not enough.

And personally… My mornings these days start like this. I wake up. I don’t want to get up. I do eventually. Splash water on my face etc. Take my heart medication. Wait for it to take effect. Then I open Telegram and see if Meduza is still broadcasting. Read the overnight update. Learn that the horror continues in a multitude of fresh new horrifying ways. Remind myself that I have no right to sympathy or feeling sorry for myself or any of that. I was not the one who spent the night in a bomb shelter. I was not the one whose house was destroyed. I wish I was but I’m not. I’m just a useless spectator who’s too chickenshit to even go get beaten up and who rationalizes her cowardice any way she knows how. I want you to know this about me before you decide to continue knowing me. I am unaccountably grateful having known all of you.

I don’t know what else to say except maybe this. Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

[wlwarie]

Being genuinely anti-imperialism, anti-colonialism, etc. means that you're that way across the board, no matter who is doing it. You don't whitewash the Ottoman Empire or Japanese imperialism just because they weren't "white" in an American sense (and in Japan's case, buy into their own propaganda, as they used the specter of Western imperialism to justify what they did to other East Asian/Pacific countries). You don't make excuses for modern Russia trying to take over Ukraine or other sovereign nations in Eastern Europe. If you truly believe in self-determination then it doesn't matter who is trying to prevent that. This shouldn't be hard, right?

[wlwarie]

listen. listen. the consumption of animal products is about mutually beneficial relationships Not domination and that's why prioritizing animal r*ghts over animal welfare is an absolutely brain fungus take to have

[wlwarie]

even if the ideology is based I really think we as adults shouldn't be supporting 13-17 year olds becoming deeply invested in online politics. I think it's good to be politically aware but seeing someone who hasn't even finished high school being a popular voice in an online political circular #1 discredits the group because those are the opinions of someone who doesn't even pay bills and #2 that kind of heavy involvement is absolutely doing numbers on that kid's mental health. can't believe this has to be said

[wlwarie]

[wlwarie]

i have such a distaste for tiktok and earnestly believe having it worsens your quality of life . uninstall it and use the tried and true method: if a tiktok is funny enough to be worth seeing, someone will steal it and repost it somewhere else that won't eat a hole in your brain

[wlwarie]

You used to love it when I couldn’t dress myself without you. I used to love peppermint ice cream, too, but now those little pieces of candy, they get stuck in your teeth in a way that I find irritating. Josh & Donna | Season 6