writtenloves

[writtenloves]

10.19.19

I never get to go out to breakfast because of work but having off this morning meant me and my roommate got to meet up for pastries and coffee!

@lulacafe in chicago

#breakfast #food #brunch #personal #mine

[writtenloves]

#the good place

[writtenloves]

saturday morning rituals

like lavendar smelling laundry

and languid steps through cermak

start to mean more

after all the build-up and anticipation

of an unhappy work week

#I wrote this when I was miserable #poetry #words #mine

[writtenloves]

speeding through on the el

watching the lights of

the town where I grew up

flicker past

this visit was a

high speed rail train

and now it’s over

when it feels to have hardly began

#poetry #words #mine #going home is always weird

[writtenloves]

you whispered “hi”

to me and only me

and I knew we were okay

#poetry #words #mine #it’s weird seeing lost loves again #especially after so long

[writtenloves]

I have these little moments with people who mean so much to me,, but these moments never amount to anything more than moments, distant memories that fade in their minds, but remain so present in my own,, and I mean so little to them

when will I ever mean as much as they do to me, in the head and the heart of another?

#i'm spitting words #and feelings #lost love #words #poetry #if it even counts

[writtenloves]

last night I dreamt that we kissed in an armchair until your glasses fell off

did you even realize it was me you were kissing? did it matter?

why do I still want you so badly?

#missed connections #lost love #poetry #words

[writtenloves]

my mania lashes out every time

i’m obsessive, compulsive, disordered

my feelings are at odds with each other

polar opposites screaming from across the divide

tell me you care, tell me you’re here

my anxiety will assure me you’re lying

what to do with a mind so conflicted

so desperate and afraid

but undeserving, always

#i'm upset! #poetry #words #mental illness

[writtenloves]

fears, personified

i’m afraid i’ll do a cartwheel and nobody will see i’m afraid i annoy everyone in my life i’m afraid i talk too much about myself i’m afraid i’m transparent

#poetry #fears #words

[writtenloves]

rebirth, regrowth

the new skin grows back itchy not quite comfortable yet someday it will appear seamless as if the gap never existed until then,, i notice the sensations of becoming whole again

#poetry #growth #words #exaltation and personal growth baby

[writtenloves]

the blanket you used last night is drenched in your scent how badly i want to wrap myself up in it forever knowing you still love her so much breaks my heart anew each day i will always be here silently struggling with my own sad feelings until then, i pretend

#poetry #lonely #sad #unrequited feelings #tis hard my friends

[writtenloves]

text me back,, please

the thing about us talking is that it’s always you in control of the length and duration of our conversation

i’m just getting started but you’ve already parted and i’m stuck waiting for a response i’ll never get

#poetry #texting #love #sad #lonely #words

[writtenloves]

the breaking of each watch is a metaphor I've never been good with timing

no room for me in the uber in the club in the conversation i don’t belong anywhere

“let me call you back in five minutes” “okay”

#fuck every man I've let myself be vulnerable around #poetry #i wrote this drunk #words

[writtenloves]

when i knew

“i never loved your father” casually spills through your lips over coffee one morning

i must’ve known 21 years of loveless marriage weighs heavy on a young girl who thirsts for the romance she’s never seen 

and still i cried  when you spoke my fears tracing every memory back to find the seam

#poetry #words #marriage #divorce #i just wrote this sorry

[writtenloves]

ich habe gesagt,

dass ich die Sonne vermisst.

aber du bist meine Sonne,

und ich habe dich vermisst.

mein Deutsch ist schlecht,

aber dein ist auch.

wir machen Fehler zusammen

um was ist richtig zu vergessen.

vergib mir.

ich soll mit dir nicht sprechen,

weil wir beide andere Leute haben.

aber ich kann nicht widerstehen.

es tut mir Leid, es tut mir Leid.

bis noch, liebe

#poetry #auf deutsch #i tried ok

[writtenloves]

the morning after

shame that seeps

into your skin;

invisible,

yet you can sense it;

you are not the same

as you were yesterday;

but what is different,

other than the fact

that you don’t recognize

your face in the mirror;

whose hands are those,

whose eyes are those,

who are you,

how did you get here,

do you even know?

#poetry #mine #good morning sadness

[writtenloves]

My dreams are symmetrical My memories are parallel My future is in a hurry And my past is blurry But my present feels like an illusion I don’t feel like a human

Thoughts (via pysch--edelic)

#poetry #not mine