ye-lost-bard

[ye-lost-bard]

Oh tumblr

#happy onion #fruits and vegs #ads on tumblr

[ye-lost-bard]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hlep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you ask for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hlep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hlep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it helps reinforce the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hleper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

#this #a thousand times this

[ye-lost-bard]

Why are people LARPing as feminists following my blog? Away! Away with you!

TERFs/radical feminists/radfems are not feminists!!! This is not a debate, it is factual. Now stay away from me and my blog.

Trans rights are human rights. Trans women are women. Trans men are men.

Now get tf off my blog.

[ye-lost-bard]

Any news article involving Musk automatically becomes a series of punches to the face.

"Surely it doesn't get worse than misquoting someone to make fun of kids with cancer

"Ah"

[ye-lost-bard]

There has been a lot of research about autistics over the years, but this one really took the cake!

This is what happened when researchers attempted to compare the moral compass of autistic and non-autistic people…

[ye-lost-bard]

New Secret Knots comic, "The River". I hope you like it!

The Secret Knots comics are made possible by my patrons. Check out my pledge tiers if you'd like to be one of them.

[ye-lost-bard]

#bigots being bigots #queer #gay jesus

[ye-lost-bard]

being trans & gender nonconforming is so hard. to Me my long nails are gender in a nosferatu way. to Me my long hair is gender in a metal dude way. to Me my height is gender in a columbo way. to the walmart cashier? to my coworkers, to aunt joan? to some guy at the store? i am some unkempt lady

[ye-lost-bard]

Leeches are surprisingly social animals. They love to pile up with each other and they are hella curious. Normally they have a whole pond to discover, and tons of other leeches. And yeah, I had them in small glasses before, and the difference to being in a tank is just woah. They love to swim when they have the space, they cuddle each other, they hide under leaves, but they also love to get on their earth box to sun themselves, like wtf, they lounge on earth in full light, or do it on a big leave or other thing that keeps them over water, just relaxing like a floppy pasta for hours. Sure, freshly caught leeches or those who are stressed after a transport from a breeder are frickin shy. The tiniest shadow falling over them or a vibration and they dive and hide, but after a few weeks they just keep laying on land and I can pet them and they keep laying there because they know nothing happens to them. I put a swimming soil box with moss in their tank and did wonder if they would accept it. And now they dig through it, some leeches sleep in the soil, some stay in the water, they love it. Your leech is bored, simple as that. Give them some leeches for company, a tank with plants, stones, hideouts and snails and maybe some shrimps(the small bee ones, bigger ones like to eat leeches) and a shrimpsafe filter, and you will have a very active pasta family. Sure, they are like cats, sleeping and cuddling 90% of the day, but when they get active, whooho, there is a party going on.

Problem(?) with my pet leech

Hey, Plaguedocboi!

I got a pet leech a few months ago and recently it started acting weird. I don’t know if it hibernates sleeps or just lies down that way, but it just lies around. Doesn’t suck onto the walls above water like usual, doesn’t do anything, just kinda lies there. No kink on the side, nothing wrong with the water, and the lid has holes for breathing, the tank is partially covered with a towel and in a dark corner on a table to prevent vibrations. But it still does that.

So, could you tell me if anything’s wrong with it?

Tgank you.

Leeches are pretty lazy animals but acting unusually lethargic could be a sign of illness. If there are no other symptoms it’s hard to say what might be wrong so I’d recommend just adding some catappa leaves and monitoring it’s behavior. Hopefully it’s just being a sleepy little guy and will get more active when it’s hungry again!

#leech #leeches #medicinal leech #plaguecore #plague doctor #shrimp #snail #leech keeping #leech tank

[ye-lost-bard]

Transphobia is so antithetical to genuine feminism it blows my mind there's such a wide overlap like you either believe in autonomy and self determination or you don't

[ye-lost-bard]

*joins with a triangle*

archangel michael, brandishing his trumpet, ready to play the song that signals the end of the world: who are you and what are you doing here

weird al yankovic, accordion in hand, ready to play the polka that signals the end of the end of the world:

#anyone else wants to come too?

[ye-lost-bard]

Tbh I feel bad for sapphics who think butch just means tall, buff models with trendy haircuts. Like y'all are missing out on so many hotties. Sometimes butches are chubby lil dudes or twinky academics or big fat biker ladies or leathery ropey tradeswomen or stubbled trannies who have fucked their gender to the nth degree (sup 😏).

And guess what? They're all so sexy.

[ye-lost-bard]

I saw this, and then I had to think about how nowadays we are not too far from this mindset still. Honour killings blaming the women for their death, and the *modern western* society is doing it in achingly similiar way while hailing themselves as better. Still blaming women for their bad encounters with men for how they dress, how they act, if they are too nice, or too unfriendly and cause what happens to them. Was it rape, or are they just trying to get back at them for a slight, were they too drunk or whatever... The same mindset is still there. Defending and pushing back is still a need.

#feminism #armenia #uzbekistan

[ye-lost-bard]

Can you do something for me, please?

I want you to reblog this if you believe that two people can be very close and physically affectionate with one another, but still have a completely nonsexual, non-romantic relationship. 

Even if the two people in question are capable of being sexually or romantically attracted to one another. 

Because the friendship I share with someone I consider family in a way that transcends blood has been typecast as a romantic relationship ENTIRELY too many times, and I’m beginning to get sick of it. 

[ye-lost-bard]

I want to say that with trans folk now being at risk of the fucking death sentence in Florida....

The time for community is Now. The time to start planning and organizing how to get our rights back is NOW. bring it up at your local LGBT craft events or book club or support group or whatever. Tell your friends. Spread the word. And maybe see which ones will have the safety and resources you'll need should a Lavender Hunt happen in your area.

And on the scarier end of reality....

This is fucking terrifying. Lots of people are at risk. Personally, I'm terrified this rhetoric will spread much like Trumpism did. I'm scared for my gf and I'm fucking scared for myself because we know historically that it isn't just trans folk on HRT or drag performers that they go after.

And you have every right to do whatever you need to protect yourself.

I'm not going to shame folks who quit HRT, who take the rainbows out of their bio, the people who start saying partner instead of revealing a gender, or anyone else taking a few steps towards the safety that the closet provides. WE shouldn't.

I fucking love you. And we'll be okay as long as we're together, okay?

We keep us safe

[ye-lost-bard]

Daniel Fenton, who punched the Joker one (1) time, and acts vaguely eldritch, having convinced 75% of Gotham that he’s Batman’s secret identity on accident: what is happening.

The Batkids, certified little shits, hanging around him to fuel the rumors and throw people off Bruce’s scent: Hi dad! :)

Danny, already sort-of a single parent, accidentally playing along too hard: oh. Guess I’m a father now. 

#mmh #delicious #licks plate clean and eats it too

[ye-lost-bard]

My mother would if she could... bet she would turn into a poltergeist just for that.

Oof. The whole calamities while eating thing?? Same.

I think that's why I usually finish everything there is to be made before sitting down to eat. For example, if I cooked something, I wash everything I used, dry it, put it back into its place and only then I sit down to eat my scrambled eggs, or worse, a whole baked dish.

My mother finds it obnoxious, but I don't have the heart to tell her that this sprouted after she would send me to hang the bedsheets in the clothesline mid-meal because the washing machine had finished.

The classic "I had to deal with you doing this when you were a toddler, so why shouldn't I make you deal with me doing this now that you're older uwu" to "why does everyone in this house still act like toddlers" timeline.