yourplayersaidwhat

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Halfling druid (literally raised by wolves): “Let’s go get drinkies! I know all about drinking!”

Bugbear barbarian: [Druid], I have to warn you… I’m a drunk dancer. Whatever happens tonight, it’s gonna be on you.“

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd #drunken debauchery

[yourplayersaidwhat]

DM: Are you drunk after only one mug of ale?

Barbarian: Well, I had the formaldehyde, with the little crunchies–

DM: The innkeeper did NOT serve you formaldehyde–

Barbarian: I stepped out and found the local physician. The local veterinarian, actually.

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd #unconventional food choices

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Paladin: [*smites a flying boar demon with her angelically reflavored version of Shadow Blade (...Light Saber)]

Paladin: Ooh here we go, big smite!

Wizard: Well that was a real boar.

Monk: Who wants barbecue?

Warlock: ...I'm guessing that thing isn't Kosher?

Paladin: Of course not, it's a demon!

Wizard: It's the Baconator!

Monk: Anyone want wings?

Paladin: Um... no.

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #official module #dnd #terrible puns #unconventional food choices

[yourplayersaidwhat]

DM: There's a chest with clawed feet--

Warlock: It's a mimic isn't it?

DM: Uh...

Warlock: Keep the party back while I Mage Hand it open. Everybody get ready--prepare to Blast and Firebolt this thing to oblivion

DM: The treasure box opens and it's only a mirror inside that none of the party are now at an angle to be reflected in. So no, it's not a mimic, the clawed feet were decorative. It was just a trap.

Warlock: Oh well if it's only that...

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd #famous last words #upsetting the dm

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Wizard: So we have all the keys... want to see what this button does?

Warlock: Sure.

DM: Suddenly you hear a booming voice: "20-19-18..."

Warlock: Oh shit.

DM: You want to get in the shielded area?

Warlock: Yes please.

DM: Okay the party is safe as the device goes off and disintegrates everyone else on this entire floor.

Warlock: OH SHIT!

DM: Don't worry they were all Hobgoblins and Fire Giants. Bad guys.

Monk: Hooray! War crimes!

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd #killing things for fun and profit #what's my alignment again

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Ehi, I’m sorry to bother you but I’m the person that did send you the last citation about the goddess calling The rouge-bard names, but you published it by another person’s name. May I now why? Is it an error? Thanks if you’ll answer

We get this a lot, and we have the explanation posted on our Submit page - only Tumblr seems to no longer show the Submit info text to mobile submitters. So, the info you should have seen but which Tumblr hid from you is:

fallintosanity is the parent blog of this one. If you (or someone from your table) submits a quote anonymously, Tumblr displays our parent blog as the submitter. We don’t know why, and unfortunately there isn’t anything we can do to change it.

Our best suggestion is to report this to Tumblr Support. We've tried repeatedly to do so, but Support doesn't quite seem to grasp the issue when explained from our side. It's possible they'll understand better when someone explains from the submitter's side.

#ask the dm #how to submit

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Context: My kitsune Ranger who was raised by actual foxes was introducing themselves to the party

Kitsune: **Holding up a fox** This is David! Wizard: Aww, your pet is really cute! Kitsune: He's my brother... Wizard: Oh, so he's afflicted by a curse Kitsune: No, he's always been a fox, keep making assumptions about my brother, I fucking dare you

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Did she just call me what?!

Rogue-Bard: i’m trying to be more open to everyone, you know? 

A literal goddess: your legs don’t count.

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd #sfw roll: nat 1

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Player A: before the tsunami hits us my character launches himself on his boyfriend to keep him close

Player B: before the tsunami hits us my characher transforms herself in a salmon

Player C: wait I’m in my underwear!!

DM: there are three kind of characters, I guess

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Player A: [Player B] just threw an apple to the elf’s head! Say something to him!

Player C to Player B: nice aim.

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #why npcs hate pcs #what's my alignment again

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“Are you some kind of Snow White?”

Monk to Warlock after witnessing speak to animals

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #dnd

[yourplayersaidwhat]

I just think someone of your talents should know better than to put subjugation fluids in their mouth!

NPC to the party sorcerer

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd #unconventional food choices

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"They're DESCRIBING THE VISCOSITY OF THE SOUP this is VERY IMPORTANT"

-Player, about incredibly vital DM worldbuilding

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Paladin: So there's nothing useful on either of the bodies? Just their swords?

Ranger: I mean, you can steal their underwear if you like.

Paladin: Maybe I will. I bet drow have pretty good underwear. I bet it's spider silk or something. We could sell it to...a travelling underwear merchant? People have to get their underwear from somewhere around here, right?

Ranger: Rest of the campaign — [Paladin]: Search for the Underwear Salesman.

Rogue: It's underground underwear?

Ranger: Underground underwear from the Underdark!

Paladin: Underdark Undergarments.

Barbarian: For all your lingerie needs!

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd #stealing things for fun and profit

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Ranger, about to try a 1v1 contested wisdom check against a Literal God:

"I am powered by sparrows and spite."

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd #ranger danger #famous last words

[yourplayersaidwhat]

dm: you can’t just overthrow the government, you’re level 4!

paladin: we could try

dm: no!

paladin: i’ve got moxie and a can-do attitude!

#submission #shareable #shit my players say #rpg #dnd #this is how you paladin

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Going through inventory druing downtime

Druid: I have a bag of drugs.

DM: No you don't, I haven't given you one of those yet.

Druid: Well, that's what I wrote down...

DM (going through their notes): Do you mean the pouch of herbs and mushroom for cooking? That you looted from that lizardfolk forager?

Druid: Oh, that's what it was!

---

(Same session, later)

Druid: So, I have five balls in my inventory. From when we fought the chimeras.

Druid: Wait, how many balls does a chimera even have?

DM: They're flails... From the snails...

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd