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1-800-barnes · 3 years

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letters

pairing: college!modern!bucky x female reader

summary: You’ve been in love with Bucky for a long time. You have suffered in silence as you have watched him fall for girls over and over again. Graduation day has arrived and you finally decide to tell him how you feel.

word count: 1.6k

author’s note: Please like and reblog, send me a message if you find any mistakes! I’m thinking about writing a pt. 2 but i don’t know yet

warnings: a little bit of angst, crying

You met Bucky in your freshman year, he was friends with your roommates, Natasha and Wanda. Ever since you started hanging out you couldn’t stop and with time, you started catching feelings for him, however, you knew he didn’t feel the same way, Bucky brought girls over almost every night and this proved your point. It came to a point where you couldn’t handle your feelings anymore so you decided to do what you do best, write. Every six months during those four years you wrote a letter, telling how you feel and how you wanted to forget him but couldn’t, but those letters were never given to him, you kept them under your bed, safe from everyone. Your crush on Bucky wasn’t that imperceptible, everyone but him seemed to notice that you were head over heels for that boy.

Despite your feelings, you never stopped hanging out with Bucky and there you were, in a bar after your graduation ceremony, you were sat by his side, but he wasn’t alone. You couldn’t remember the girl’s name, he probably didn’t too considering they just met, you just knew you were jealous of her, she’s sat on his lap and messing with his hair, living everything you’ve been wanting for years.

You gave your best friends, Natasha and Wanda a helpless look “I’m going to the bathroom” hoping they got the message, you stood up and left the table.

Arriving at the bathroom you looked in the mirror with tear-filled eyes, Nat and Wanda entered “What happened?” Natasha asked worriedly. “I can’t take it anymore” you whimpered “I can’t keep doing this, pretending that what he does isn’t affecting me”. Everything you said was true, you were tired of feeling that way. “What do you mean?” Wanda asked hugging you “It’s been years Wan, if he felt the same I would know already, I have to let these feeling go” Natasha immediately joined your hug “You need to do what makes you happy, we don’t want to see you hurt” you sobbed into your bestfriends’ arm “Let’s go home” she finished while cleaning up your tears.

The three of you left the bathroom and went in your friends’ direction, Bucky and the girl were still there but they seemed cozier, you felt tears brimming in your eyes again “Hey guys, we’re going home” Wanda started and you hoped she wouldn’t say the real reason why you’re leaving “I’m not feeling well and the girls offered to leave and help me” she said looking at you and Nat. No one asked anything, you said your goodbyes and started gathering your things. “Hey” someone grabbed your wrist before you could leave, Bucky. “Is everything okay, doll?” you hated that nickname, it was how he called his one night stands and when he called you that you felt like one of them, you didn’t want to be an one night thing, you wanted to hold his hands, go on dates, you wanted a relationship, but he didn’t even see you that way. “Everything is fine, Buck” you snapped at him “I just need to go help Wanda, today was an exhausting day” giving him one last look, you turned around and left with your friends.

The car ride was quiet, when you finally arrived at your shared apartament Natasha asked “What do you want to do?” you just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. “I think I’m going to sleep, I’m really tired” you said while going to your bedroom “Are you sure?” Wanda asked reassuringly, you nodded and went into your room.

Three hours later and you couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky, you felt like you needed closure, but didn’t know what to do. Suddenly, you remembered the letters, maybe if you gave it to him you would feel relieved and finally could move on. After getting the box with the letters from under your bed, you picked up the letter you wrote that morning, the last you were ever going to write to him and put it into the box. You grabbed a post-it note, wrote his name and put it above the box, if anyone besides him saw it you would feel so embarrassed so you needed people to know that it was for him.

After checking your phone and seeing that the clock marked 4 am, you left the apartment quietly to not wake up Nat and Wanda. Bucky and Steve also shared an apartment, two floors above yours. The moment you faced his door you knew you couldn’t just ring the doorbell and give it to him, it was the middle of the night and what if he brought that girl from the bar home? You almost left his door and gave up on giving him the letters, but you needed that, you owned it to yourself. You put the box on his doormat and left, tears falling from your eyes. Little did you know what happened while you were in your room.

As soon as you left the night before, he knew something happened so he just dropped everything and went home to see you. Arriving in the building, he saw Natasha on the elevator. “Hey, Nat” he rushed to get to her “Is she ok? Where is she?” He was worried about you. “Listen, James” Natasha started. “It’s better if you don’t go after her right now, plus, I’m sure she’s asleep, you should try tomorrow” she concluded and left. He just wanted to know what happened and who hurt you so he knew who would be the next person he was punching but he respected Nat's wishes and went to his house.

Bucky woke up the next day due to the sunlight on his face, he forgot to close the curtains when he arrived from the bar. After having breakfast he decided to go see you, when he was leaving he tripped over something, it was a box with his name on it. He recognized that handwriting, it was yours.

He picked it up, sat on the couch, and opened it. It was a bunch of letters with dates, he saw one with the date December 14, 2017, written on it, four years ago? Why would you give him something like that? Since that was the letter with the earliest date, it was the one he opened first.

December 14, 2017

Dear Bucky, it’s been five months since we met and became friends. During this period of time we grew closer and feelings started to develop on my part. You’ll probably never see this because I’ll keep it to myself, but I love you, with all parts of my body.

I never expected to meet someone like you, someone who makes me feel so alive. I wish I knew the way you feel about me. I care so much about you, but I constantly question my feelings. You’re always with someone new, there’s always a girl in your arms and I know that’ll never change, so I’m just swallowing my feelings. I don’t know how and when i’ll be able to let these go away, so if you’re receiving these letters there are two scenarios.

Either I finally told you how I feel and we’re finally together or my feelings got to the point in which they hurt me, so I decided to let you go. I love everything about you, with each new day, each new word from your mouth, I fall further and further in love with you. There's no turning back for me. It doesn’t matter where we stand now, you’ll always have me for anything that you need.

I am yours and yours alone. Now and always.

Bucky closed the letter, why wouldn’t you tell him tha? He felt so little and so disgusted by himself for hurting you, he didn’t even know if he could read the other letters. “How could I do that to her?” was the last thing he said before the tears came.

And you? You were almost in the same position, laid in bed crying. What could Bucky do to make things right?

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1-800-barnes · 3 years

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Undercover

pairing: detective!bucky x detective!reader

summary: When you and bucky go undercover to catch an identity thief, the investigation brings both of you closer.

word count: 1.7k

A/N: This is my first fic ever, please be nice<3 English is not my first language so if you see any mistakes please contact me!

Warnings: fluff, like one curse word, slight mention of a gun, B99 AU.

After Captain Fury assigned you and Bucky to go after an identity thief, Bucky seemed to be reluctant of being your partner, and that left you confused the whole morning. So when lunchtime came, you decided to ask him about it, “Buck, did I do something to you?” you asked him while entering the break room.

“What? No” he answered quickly, but it didn’t convince you “Then why are you trying to keep me off this case?” you whisper-yelled.

“All right” he started “Remember when you told me that you didn’t want to date cops? That bummed me out because I was thinking about asking you out,” he told you “Oh, okay” you hesitantly said, his words definitely caught you off guard, when you first started on the precinct you developed a crush on the blue-eyed man but couldn’t bring yourself to admit it, and now he tells you that he was thinking about asking you out?

“I know that’s not what you want and it just took me a while but I totally get it” you were confused about everything that’s going on “Bucky, I don’t know what to say…” before you could finish he interrupted you “Let’s just not make it weird, this is a case, we’ll work at it together because we’re professionals” before you could say something he rushed out of the room.

After not seeing Bucky for the whole day, you, him, Steve, and Natasha were in a van observing the guy you’re looking for “Why is he getting out here? I thought your C.I. said the drop was happening in a park.” you told Bucky. “Rumlow has the laptop with him. We should just arrest him right here.” you suggested “No, the buyer's the bigger collar. We've got to follow him in and wait for the handoff, let’s go inside,” he said in a demanding tone. “Wait, we look like cops. We're never gonna blend in dressed like this” you put your hair down and adjusted your shirt “How’s this?” you asked Bucky. Natasha turned to look at you “You look fine. Here, wear this” she hands you a jacket.

You and Bucky got out of the van and went into the restaurant, as soon as you got in you were standing next to Rumlow “Hi. Table for two, please.” bucky says. “I'm so sorry. There's nothing available. We're booked up.” the hostess said looking not interested at all, then you had an idea and decided to barge in “Oh, no, that's horrible.” you start “Tonight's a really important night for us. Johnny and I just got engaged, and this is where our first date was.” It took a couple of seconds but Bucky caught up with you “Oh, yeah, it would mean so much to Dora and me. I would have made a reservation, but I didn't know if she was gonna say yes” after he finished you kissed him on the cheek.

The hostess finally looked at you two “You are just so sweet together. You know, I'm sure I can find room for two young lovers.” she said. “Yeah, we are lovers... together... in beds” Bucky stated awkwardly and you just glanced at him giving a ‘don’t fuck up’ look.

When both of you got to the table, you break the silence “ Sorry about springing the engagement and romantic stuff on you.” you gave him an apologetic smile “No, no, no. That was great. I mean, it's what got us in here. Cheek kiss was a bit much. Very wet.” you looked at each other and laugh. You looked to your side and there was Rumlow and maybe his girlfriend? You didn’t know exactly, the only thing you thought about was how you and Bucky were screwed, they put you right beside the guy you were keeping an eye on. His girlfriend turned to you both and started talking.

The night couldn’t have been going worse, Rumlow’s girlfriend, whose name was Lucy, didn’t stop talking to you and Bucky the whole night. Although Rumlow seemed a bit skeptical he talked too.

After some time Rumlow and Lucy leave the table, but he sends the girl to get the car and he went to the kitchen, you turned to Bucky “He took the laptop case with him, he’s gonna make the drop, let's go.” Both of you went to the kitchen door but then, Rumlow saw you. “Damn, he saw us,” Your partner said worried but then he pulled you into a kiss. You couldn’t even process what’s happening, did he really just kiss you? Brock passes you two and Bucky pulled away “Good, good, we kept our cover intact, nice work,” he said rather quickly “Quick professional thinking out there. Very quick. Very professional.” you couldn’t get the kiss out of your head “Detective,” he said reaching his hand “Detective” you shook his hands “Let’s get back on the case” he instantly pulled you to get to the car.

You were back in the van with Natasha and Steve, following Rumlow. “How was the restaurant?” Steve asked quietly “Such a normal time” you squealed “Why are you being weird?” he said curiously. “We kissed” Bucky calmly said. “What?” Steve and Nat screamed together “To keep our cover from being blown, okay? We didn’t have a choice!” you exclaimed. Steve was going to say something until Natasha started uttered “He’s pulling over. It’s going down”.

You saw Rumlow leave the package by a tree “Guys, it’s not a handoff, he’s leaving it there” Bucky told Steve “You and Nat follow Rumlow, we’re going to stay with the package and get the buyer” the blonde agreed and right after, you and bucky left the car.

While waiting near the package, he was feeling perplexed due to the event that happened in the restaurant but it didn’t matter what he thought about, it was always you in the end. “Hey” he turned to you “We’re cool right?” he was worried about your answer, he couldn’t handle you being mad at him “Yes” you started “We’re fine, totally fine” but you weren’t, the kiss kept replaying in your head. “You know what? I’m actually really hungry, never got to eat at that fancy restaurant”. Now that he mentioned it, you actually were hungry as well “You know what I’m getting on my way home?” you asked him rhetorically. “Yeah, you’re gonna go to that cafe near your house, and get a cinnamon roll and a cup of hot chocolate,” he said casually “That's exactly what I’m gonna get,” you told him, you were going to tell ask him how he knew that but you felt another presence there “Bucky” you whispered, “He’s looking at us”. You could see the confusion on his face. “What?” the guy seemed suspicious so you had to be quick. “Well, this is happening,” you said more to yourself than him “Huh?” he hummed. Before he could say something else you grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss, it was like you were made for each other, it felt so passionate and real, but you couldn’t forget that it was all an undercover act.

As you saw the guy start to move away with the case, you push Bucky away “NYPD! Freeze” you yelled “We are police colleagues” you said pointing your gun at him. “You’re under arrest. This is a work event” he quickly said. You both handcuffed the guy and brought him back to the precinct.

You were alone in the break room, the events of the evening running through your mind until Bucky comes in “Hey, could you sign this arrest report for Rumlow and the buyer?” he asked calmly. “Sure” you answered. How could he be so calm, did everything that you went through today not affect him the same way as it affected you? Maybe he just forgot about the idea of asking you out and didn’t want anything related to you in that way. “Man, I forgot how long your signature takes” he joked. “This whole night was really weird wasn’t it?” you question him “Yes, it totally was. I just want everything to go back to how it was”. You didn’t know why but his words hurt a little, wasn’t he willing to try to go out with you? “You're right y’know?” he continues “We shouldn’t date cops, ‘cause we make a great team, we work great together, doll” Doll? During all your years working side by side, he has never called you that, but maybe it was just a slip-up. “I don’t want anything to change.” you said “Me, neither”. Well, at least now you knew that he didn’t want anything more. “Okay, then that’s that detective Barnes” you whispered. “See you around the precinct” was the last thing he said before leaving the room.

Later, doing some paperwork, you went to the files room to get a file for your new case, everything was quiet there until you heard the door open. “Hey,” the person said, you could recognize that voice everywhere, it belonged to the person whose piercing blue eyes couldn’t leave your head “How are you holding up?” He asked. “I’m fine, just tired, today was a long day” you turned around, and there he was, standing right in front of you “what about you?” you returned the question. “Same” he starts “but I feel like something’s missing”. You looked into his eyes, not understanding what he meant, he stared right back at you, but then his eyes went to your mouth and next thing you knew, you were kissing again but know it didn’t involve an undercover it was just you and bucky, no one else. His hands were now warm, holding onto your waist, while yours were on the back of his neck, the kiss was everything you could’ve asked for, you felt like you were on a movie until you heard something.

“Hey, Bucky” It was Steve shouting from the other side of the door “I need your help here, pal”.

You both pulled away from each other, panting heavily, cheeks flushed and a smile on both faces.

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