23daydeadline - Tumblr blog

23daydeadline · 3 years

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February 15th, 2021

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEe

I’m 18 now, old as ever. To be honest, I’m not sad. I thought I’d be sad when I turned 18, not because of the childhood I left behind, but because of...well because I didn’t know what to do with my life. And yes, I’m scared, but I know I have my friends with me to make this day special. I love them so much, and I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them.

:> Writing down the days, although scattered, helped me collect my thoughts somewhere. So I’m glad I did that, even if no one ever reads it.

That’s all, maybe forever, or maybe just for now.

-Ayane

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23daydeadline · 3 years

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February 5th, 2021 (10 Days)

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYIKES it’s been a minute, hasn’t it?

Well, yesterday I had a bit of an episode. By episode, I mean I broke down and cried and had to go home. Then I had this HUGE fckin migraine and passed out. But today was good, except it’s that time of the month lmao. Fun. :D

Other than that, I guess I really don’t have much to update on. I’m working on a painting, it’s going great. Maybe I’ll post it here when I’m done.

#writer #write #writing #love to write #journal #journaling #my journal #my diary #diary #author #writers of tumblr #authors on tumblr #writers on tumblr #count down #coming of age #18 #10 days #birthday

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23daydeadline · 3 years

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Jan 31st, 2021 (15 days)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh

I’m so happy. First of all, went to walmart again with my friend (Autumn uwu) and met this cuTE ASS FCK GIRL she is so pretty like ugh and we all hung out and talked while Autumn grocery shopped and alsooo

I MADE OUT WItH AUTUMN AND THAT WAS GREAT OKAY

Gosh I’m so happy right now lmao

Anyways, I don’t think I’ll post tomorrow, depends if anything happens lol :>

That’s all

Ayane <3

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23daydeadline · 3 years

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Jan 30th, 2021 (16 Days)

Super duper sorry I didn’t post yesterday D;

I had a huge migraine, I almost passed out. It was terrible, but I watched SU and felt better. Ate some poptarts too :>

Anyways, my birthday is getting so super duper close. I’m almost at 2 weeks! Big yikes.

Also thinking about going camping with my friend. Dunno yet though, but it could be fun.

Okay, that’s it for now lmao :>

#journal #myjournal #mywriting #writing #writer #author #write #journaling #diary #mydiary #entries #countdown #shortentry #deadline #18 #16days #soclose

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23daydeadline · 3 years

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Jan 28th, 2021 (18 Days)

Hey guys!

So sorry for skippin a few days, I’ve been exhausted. And anyways, there isn’t much to talk about. But wanted to give everyone an update!

I’m on my way to failing high school, but I think I’m startin to get my grades up again. Also, I’m participating in the Doodle for Google thing, so that’s fun. And uh....looking into a writing competition.

These past few days haven’t been too eventful, there’s some negativity I really don’t wanna acknowledge so I can kind of just...manifest it out of my life. But anyways, if anything interesting happens, I’ll let you guys know. :> I know no one follows this right now, but I like writing this for me at least.

Bye,

Ayane, 4:33 p.m.

#writing #mywriting #diary #mydiary #journal #myjournal #journaling #deadline #birthday #birthdaydeadline #countdown #18days

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23daydeadline · 3 years

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Jan 25, 2021 (21 Days)

Current Time: 8:03 P.M.

Days until 18: 21

I’ve actually had a really good day today. I mean, school was meh and boring and one of my friends wasn’t there so ): big sad

But after school my friend from my last entry (Autumn) came over and we hung out and went to Walmart again. We got chocolate and then she drove me to Taco Bell so I could get food. I’m in a much better mood than I was honestly :> I made up with her, so everything it good.

The guy she was meeting up with is being weird now anyways, so idk. I want her to be happy, but I also like...selfishly want her to myself and want her to get with me. But like...I also don’t wanna be her backup plan, y’know? My pride refuses lmao.

Anyways, I don’t have much to talk about today. Might be like that for these next few days :)

<3

Ayane, 8:06 p.m.

#writing #my writing #write #author #my diary #journaling #journal #writer #count down #lovely day #my thoughts #my life

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23daydeadline · 3 years

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Jan 24th, 2021 (22 Days)

It’s January 24th, and there are 22 days left until I’m 18. It’s currently 6:23 p.m. at the time of writing.

So...I actually started writing this like two hours ago, and then swiftly realized I hadn’t a lot to talk about. But something just happened, so now I do :)

My best friend texted me - let’s call her Autumn - and offered to take me to Walmart with her cause she didn’t wanna go alone. So I ask my dad, and he says I can go and she comes to pick me up. When I get in the car, she’s asking me about a different friend (Call her Ashley) and her ex (call him Jamie). Basically just asking if this friend is crazy about Jamie and shit cause she’s talking to him. And I’m talking to her about everything (won’t get into detail here lol) and she brings up that we’re going to see this boy at Walmart.

And I’m upset, because I like this friend. I’ve liked her for the longest time, and she knows how I feel. And I don’t know, now I feel all awkward and stupid for waiting on her, you know? It just sucks. And then near the end we kiss, and it’s nice and everything but I know it’s just a friend thing she does. And like when drops me off, she kisses me again. And then she asks if I wanna make out, and I’m upset at her so I say “I wanna go inside and watch Steven Universe”.

And I don’t know, I feel bad? Like it was unnecessary I guess, but at the same time I feel like she’s spitting my face by bringing me along. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Anyways, I’m off now I guess,

-Sincerely,

Ayane, 6:32 p.m.

#my writing #writing #nighttime writing #diary #my diary #my thoughts #journaling #journal

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23daydeadline · 3 years

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Jan 23 - 2021 (23 Days)

There’s 23 days left until I’m 18. It’s 8:58 p.m. currently, it’ll definitely be later when I finish writing this. I can’t tell you why I’ve decided to post these little updates until my birthday, just some urge I got.

To start this off right, I guess I’ve got to introduce who I am. Because what’s the point in reading the diary of someone nameless?

Sooo....my name is Ayane, I’m 17 years old and from the United States. My hobbies include writing, listening to music, watching tv, playing video games, and generally anything else brain rotting. I’ve been writing since I was 11..like a long time. It’s been an outlet for me ever since, I’ve always been great at pouring my emotion into the written word. Emphasis on WRITTEN word, I’m absolute shite at verbally speaking it. I have a speech impediment for one, stress causes me to stutter, and stuttering makes me feel stupid, and so I feel worse than when I began.

I’ve been listening to music since...well since I was born really. My parents are musical people. Hell, my dad has a degree in it! It’s always been apart of me, and I don’t think that’ll change. Music conveys - verbally - what I can’t. I’m too scattered to make points, and these songs only have so long to tell you what they’re feeling. It’s beautiful, meaningful, and fun to sing. And well...games and tv are just something I’ve done with family and learned to love.

And now the question of what this blog is remains, because I’ve barely done any explaining. I guess it’s my count down until my life is...mine? Until the expectations of adulthood are fully dropped onto me like a container of bricks. I’m not ready for it either. I’m not ready for responsibilities I never asked for, to deal with among the anxiety, depression, and well...the speech impediment. I’m...well I’m scared honestly. And not because I have this great childhood I’ll be leaving, it’s more because what I’ve experienced was meant to be the happiest part of my life. And well, if what I experienced was meant to be the happiest...well. Fuck, what’s the point, y’know? Because the rest is going to absolute ass.

But I’m hoping writing it down will help alleviate this dread, even a little. I’m hoping sharing the days until adulthood will do something...anything? I don’t know. Consider this my melancholy coming of age.

Anyways, I’m off now.

Sincerely,

Ayane, 9:21 p.m.

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