31n13

[31n13]

Penn and Teller directed and produced Tim's Vermeer?? Excuse me??

[31n13]

Also on topic of Consent: whenever somebody says "Kids should have bodily autonomy!" some guy always is like "You are too unrealistic. What will you do when a kid is seeing the doctor and doesn't want to get a shot? Would you just let them refuse the shot?"

Yeah I probably would. You're straight up asking the wrong person if you want the nice normal answer here. Doctors and nurses forcibly doing (relatively routine) things to my body against my protests when I was a small kid fucked me up so bad that as an adult anything medical related is a huge trigger for me, I've had persistent intrusive thoughts and recurring nightmares about medical procedures, and I can't have even the most basic tests and health checks done on top of it.

I hate talking about it because I can't get comfortable calling it "trauma" and I don't have any other words that are useful, but it's made my life so much harder and really scary since if I start having a weird symptom, there's nothing I can move myself to do about it.

I figured out a loophole where going to a pharmacy instead of a doctor's office for vaccines reduces some of the stress, but I was still in stress and misery for days before I went to get my tetanus shot. The repulsion is so intense it feels like I literally don't have control over myself, it feels like I can't make appointments or plans about such things out of my own free will, and so every year I have guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt about how I should get the flu shot, and it does nothing but ineffectually hurt me.

Vaccines save lives and all that, but when it comes right down to it, I don't think it's actually a net benefit to public health to give any percentage of kids lifelong psychological scars so deep and painful they're almost completely barred from accessing health care as adults.

I know I'm not the only one, far from it.

[31n13]

Yep, this is as painful as I thought it'd be.

Aight, since I'm on a roll of making myself cringe to death, I suppose I'll watch Chewing Gum.

#perpetual lying and inappropriate sexual encounters

[31n13]

Aight, since I'm on a roll of making myself cringe to death, I suppose I'll watch Chewing Gum.

[31n13]

#epilepsy tw

[31n13]

Fleabag Thoughts: Vol. I

The Fox:

Just as Fleabag has us - standing in for Boo, acting as a symbol of her guilt and shame, and as a manifestation of her fear of “forgetting” - I think The Fox represents whatever it is that The Priest is trying to escape by taking the collar and by drinking. 

I don’t agree with the hypothesis that The Fox represents any aspect of Fleabag because The Fox predates her, The Priest reacts to her startling him by confirming she is not The Fox, and The Fox follows The Priest after Fleabag has accepted that she will not continue her own pursuit. 

Part of Fleabag’s problem was that she kept her pain so close and fresh that it prevented her from being truly engaged in the rest of her life. The Priest, in part by noticing that she is not fully present, helps draw her back into the world. When Fleabag finally acknowledges her guilt and allows herself to be vulnerable and emotionally intimate, she can let us (and Boo, and the past) go.

By contrast, The Priest is trying to outrun his pain or frighten it away. He has not confronted whatever it is that he carries, so The Fox goes on with him.

[31n13]

When Fleabag said, "I want someone to tell me what to believe in. Who to vote for, who to love, and how to tell them. I just think I want someone to tell me how to live my life, Father, because so far, I think I've been getting it wrong."

[31n13]

How the fuck has it been raining for 10 hours straight

[31n13]

That confessional scene with the Priest made me so uncomfortable. Do I even want to finish the series now?

#Fleabag

[31n13]

One thing I find particularly marking about Fleabag is how most fans put the priest on a pedestal, acting like he is THE man and has some kind of superiority when, frankly, he IS like other men.

The clearest example to me is the Confessional scene. It is the one scene where Fleabag allows herself to be vulnerable in front of him because she trusts him and loves him. She expresses a deeply-rooted uneasiness and states how lost she feels. And what he does is turn it into something sexual.

If there was one moment he should have acted as a priest, an advisor, a shoulder on which to cry, it was this one. But when she is at her lowest, he uses it to place himself in a position of domination. It's quasi-predatory. He is like other men.

#my heart sank at that moment

[31n13]

[31n13]

"i'm literally tweaking" "are you restarted" "you sound acoustic right now" "this has crackhead energy" "my ex is such a narcissist" "i'm going nonverbal for an hour" "intrusive thoughts won"

[31n13]

From the last function at the training restaurant at culinary school. Some canepe creations I helped put together.

[31n13]

Please Help Evacuate me & my husband's Family from Gaza

🔴🚨🔴 THIS IS URGENT🔴🚨🔴

Help me evacuate the Gaza war with my family

Just share and donate if you can.

[31n13]

[31n13]

Boys and bicycles on Mayakovskaya Square. Photo by Viktor Akhlomov (Moscow, 1980s).

[31n13]

The invisible man, Harlem, New York, 1952 - by Gordon Parks (1912 - 2006), American