a-mans-expolartion

[a-mans-expolartion]

For love is an illusion that blinds even the most insightful of men, yet it is a beautiful pain that we willingly endure. And in that pain, we find the true meaning of life, for it is through love that we learn to connect, to grow, and to become more than we ever thought possible. And so it shall be for all of the existence of humanity, that love will remain the one constant, the one thing that makes life worth living.

#poetry #my first poem #poem's #literacy

[a-mans-expolartion]

Truly, what does it mean to be in love. I sit here with a heavy heart because I know you're upset. It pains me that I can't help as I know you're not ready to let me in. I know that I'm head over heels and you're slowly falling.

[a-mans-expolartion]

I just want to be held and told I'm enough

[a-mans-expolartion]

But truly what is it to love. To give ones self in some form of hope that by a small chance a certain person will not only love you, but choose you. Not just for today but tomorrow and the day after.

I do believe deep down I may still be able to be picked by cupid to be chosen for love.

But I understand I love to hard and get attached to quick.

I guess it does all fall back to those famous words. *it's better to have loved then to have never have loved at all*

#self love #heartbroken #loneliest #lovely

[a-mans-expolartion]

For to love with your heart fully is to accept that pain will follow hand in hand

[a-mans-expolartion]

Dear Maybe

I missed you a lot today. Travelled far from home today. Felt werid without you next to me. I hope you're okay and doing well.

Yours J

[a-mans-expolartion]

Dear Maybe

Just went through a small village, you know, like the ones we used to visit. The village was surrounded by my favourite trees. I haven't seen them in a while. They're still as gorgeous as I remember.

I got hurt today and injured my head. There was quite a bit of blood, as you can imagine. Wish I still had you so you could make it all better.

I'm getting better, I promise. Just taking a day at a time

Yours J

[a-mans-expolartion]

Dear Maybe

It's me again. I mean, who else would it be.

My phone just went off. Thought it was you calling, needing to talk to me as you walked home. Sadly, instead, it was my alarm to remind me that I had to do my time sheet.

Lots of small things keep appearing, just to remind me of you. The days are still dark, but im hoping they'll get brighter.

Yours J

[a-mans-expolartion]

Dear Maybe

Got sent home from work today. There was a machine that was spilling out sulfer, always what you want to hear. I can easily tell what your reaction would have been. "What idiots let people work in an environment like that" kinda wish I could hear you say those words.

On a lighter note, I used some new words today, slowly expanding my very small vocabulary.

I think that's all I can write today it's getting late

Yours J

[a-mans-expolartion]

Dear Maybe

I guess I'm going to start writing these letters to try help me get over you.

I think about you everyday, I can't take a breath at the moment without you on my mind.

I catch myself still saying and doing the things you did. For example, when I get hungry, I still say grrr or when I see police cars, I still say ne nor.

I guess this is going to be the first, of many letters I write to you. So that i can say goodbye...

Yours J

[a-mans-expolartion]

I feel like I can say this here as I know it will go unseen. Today I had for the first time a feeling of danger not for me but for someone I cared for. I drove in a rush to see them, like an idiot I stumbled in on her having sex with a new guy. I know that we had bee apart for a few months now, but today was the day my heart truly died. Seeing it with my own eyes. I cried, I screamed I nearly crashed my car. What I now realise is that turning into my dad was always inevitable.

#mental health #thought's #feelings #rebirth #acceptance

[a-mans-expolartion]

Finding it hard that more often them not lately. I have to remind my self that I am enough and that my best is good enough.

[a-mans-expolartion]

#kinky sub #bd/sm community #bd/sm lifestyle #bi culture #bisexuality

[a-mans-expolartion]

I'm sitting here in a bath, bubbles flowing freely, the flicker of the flame from the candle illuminating the room but all I can do is think. I'm stuck in a constant state of depression never understanding what I'm doing or what my purpose is. I feel bad for my partner she says she wants to help but I just dont feel safe and in all honesty, I dont know how she can help. I have this thought in my head that's been eating away at me. Is it wrong to bi-urious? I stop myself when I feel myself talking or moving a certain way. When I give into that side of me I hate myself even more and I feel just an overwhelming feeling of shame. I'm scared that if I am bi who will I lose. My family are so old fashioned they'd kill me. I know my partner would accept me but my heart and mind are fighting over whether she and I are meant to be. She's so much more driven and smart then I am. I'm someone who struggles to basically anything I'm a toddler in comparison. I'm sorry for the word vomit tumblr I guess I just needed to share.

X

#bi curious #deep thinking #deep thoughts #sharing #feelings

[a-mans-expolartion]

Writing this here because no where else feels safe to express my emotion. I shouldn't be scared to share emotion with you. I shouldn't feel attacked when I feel vulnerable because it affected your night. I will always put you first even if my night got ruined by it because I love you. I sit here with a heavy heart, wondering why I keep going. I feel like dirt on the bottom of a boot . I'm currently sat here wondering where I put that blade because the temptation of it Is becoming to hard to resist.

#deep thoughts #mental health

[a-mans-expolartion]

Lying in bed staring at the ceiling, wondering if I will experience happiness again. If things will only get worse. Then am I any better then I was back then all those years ago

#mental health #deep thoughts

[a-mans-expolartion]

Slowly realising that soon I may get the chance to share my other half with another woman. Very excited and nervous

#bd/sm daddy #kinky sub #dd/lg blog #submisivegirl #bd/sm relationship #dd/lg lifestyle #bd/sm community #bd/sm lifestyle #bd/sm sub #bd/sm kink