a-spec-tacular

[a-spec-tacular]

Someone sent an ask requesting we delete an ask from them from 2016; you did not include a username to search for so I could delete the ask, and the new url you gave us doesn't accept messages (or asks) from blogs they don't follow (and if you're following this blog, you aren't following the main I could message you from).

I'm happy to delete the ask, I just need to know who it's from so I can find it! You are also welcome to send a link to the ask directly, though you may need to do it off-anon. I won't publish anything you send in.

[a-spec-tacular]

is the a-spec-chatular discord still open? your most recent post about it has a working invite, but it's also from 2018

Yep! This blog is fairly dead and ownership of the server has changed, but it’s still open, still active, and definitely still a great server tbh!

#Anon #Ask

[a-spec-tacular]

shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.

[a-spec-tacular]

Ok, so there is this girl. And I like her in a queerplatonic way, and I want us to be queerplatonic partners, right? Well, she’s repulsed by the idea of us being in a romantic relationship, we frequently go on platonic dates, and she’s asked me if I would like to be her platonic life partner, to which I said yes, and we talk about how much we love each other platonically. Are we a queerplatonic couple, and if not, how do I ask out queerplatonically? (Just for context we’re both extremely LGBT)

You’re a queerplatonic couple if both of you agree that you are! I’d definitely say yall need to talk about that, though, before anyone goes about putting labels to it without the other knowing.

If yall are talking about stuff like “platonic life partnership” already, though, it probably won’t be super hard to float the word “queerplatonic” out there and see how she feels about it. Discussing words and labels for a relationship that already exists is pretty normal, and it’s okay to have that “what are we?” conversation however many times you need to.

If what you’re suggesting is to just apply a new label to an existing thing, I’d say all you need to do is go “hey I found this word, it means this, I think it describes our dynamic pretty well. How do you feel about it?” and talk from there!

If what you want is a change in relationship dynamic, I would definitely bring it up differently. I’d still bring the word up and define what it means to you, but also talk about what you want from the relationship exactly, what things you’d like to change, and ask her how she feels and whether those are things she’d be comfortable with. Ask her what direction she sees yall going in, and if she wants anything more from the relationship, too.

And definitely ask yourself, and establish with her if you need to, whether you’re okay with things staying the same if she isn’t comfortable with them changing. It’s okay if you’re moving in different directions, but you need to talk about that if it’s the case.

Just go in with a clear picture of what exactly it is you want, and what your boundaries around that are. Give lots of room for her to figure out and express the same things, and communicate together about it. Basic relationship stuff, even for platonic relationships!

#queerplatonic #Anonymous

[a-spec-tacular]

Alloaros are always welcome on my blog, and they are a valuable and important part of the aspec community as a whole. I try my best to be supportive, so if I ever say something alloarophobic, please let me know and I will do everything I can to correct myself.

Alloaros are incredibly victimized and misunderstood even within our own aspec communities on this site, and they have the right to talk about their experiences and call out alloarophobia when they see it. It isn't acephobic, and if your first reaction to being told you're excluding alloaros is to be defensive, then you are the problem.

Aces, whether you're aroace, alloace, or just ace, we have a duty to stand up for and with alloaros against an amanormative society. Please listen to their voices and help them get th recognition and respect they deserve.

[a-spec-tacular]

do u still have the pridepack discourd server up?

No, sorry, it’s been down for a few years now!

#Anonymous

[a-spec-tacular]

Subtle Ace Headers

I posted these before and they are on our ko-fi but I lost the tumblr post so here we go again! Credit is nice but not needed. :) 

[a-spec-tacular]

“We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.”

— The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972

[a-spec-tacular]

would be cool if ppl would stop acting like aro ppl only exist as aroace and not allosexual,,,,,,, like idk ace ppl get a lot of shit and i am on their side 100% but this is a Different Issue, and a lot of ppl are fine with ace folks bcos “they can still love uwu love isnt always abt sex” and then a smaller but still relevant number of ppl are ok with aroaces bcos yeah ok, friendship is still ~love~, thats cool! but as soon as alloaros Exist ppl get uncomfortable bcos we are apparently still caught up in acting like sex without romance is manipulative or whatever….?? anyways pls stop making so many “i thought i just wanted to sleep around with no strings attached but then i found True Love” characters and make some “i experience sexual attraction but not romantic attraction” characters. thx

[a-spec-tacular]

You know what? Yes, aspec people are welcome in the LGBT community and that bears repeating, but it's more than that. Aspec people are a valuable and necessary part of the community. Aspec perspectives and experiences are an essential, important part of our community.

Aspec people belong in the LGBT community. Not as an allowance or an afterthought, but inherently. Not the way a kid who doesn't fit in gets invited to a party, like "oh, you heard that? I guess you can come too". Not in a way that is polite on the surface but still othering. They don't need an invitation, because they're just as intrinsic to the community as every other LGBT identity.

Aspec people have always belonged, and they always will. It's as simple as that.

[a-spec-tacular]

Supporting aroallos requires you to be sex positive

That means you can’t read “casual sex” and think “fucks around without caring about anyone”

That means you can’t treat “no strings attached” like it’s synonymous with “heartless fuckboys using women for sex”

That means you can’t look at someone who wants casual sex and is open about it and claim they must have a “fear of commitment”

That means you can’t blame someone’s depression on their “missed connnections,” aka their one night stands that didn’t blossom into romantic endeavors

That means you’re gonna let others make their own choices about their sex life without judgement or shame or any implication that they’re in any way lacking morals for wanting to have sex with people they’re not in any sort of long term relationship with

[a-spec-tacular]

[a-spec-tacular]

[ID: The I am once again asking meme. An image of Bernie Sanders saying “I am once again asking for canonical aro characters”. End ID]

[a-spec-tacular]

Let’s talk about the fabulous aromantics out there

[a-spec-tacular]

these and more can be found at the Instagram account teabag.cartoon

[a-spec-tacular]

actually we didn't create this design! we helped with ideas, but @pride-color-schemes actually created the flag for us. :) give them a follow!

tranparent pride hearts for your blogs/icons!

[credit is not required but appreciated]

[go wild]

#thank you!! you're very kind

[a-spec-tacular]

[ID: A boy, labelled “me”, holds a lightsaber, labelled “remembering that most queer people are inclusionists”, behind his head to block another boy, labelled “aphobes”, from hitting him with a lightsaber labelled “trying to exclude me from the queer community”. End ID]