a-woman-apart

[a-woman-apart]

1400th Post

#who made you king of anything #got tired of waiting for someone to tell me it was my turn to decide #sara bareilles

[a-woman-apart]

I am reaching out a little more

#I really do have Brand New Eyes #new vision #suddenly I see this is what I wanna be #suddenly I see why the hell it means so much to me #time to be brave

[a-woman-apart]

Astrological Compatibility

After experiencing all that I have this year, I definitely believe that astrology does play a role in compatibility, in the sense that astrology is a pseudoscience based around how time of birth, planetary cycles, and place of birth affect personality. It was developed by human beings at a time when scientific methods of interpreting data were not developed to where they are today. 

If we take a look at how this might play out from a more scientific perspective, think of the “nature vs. nurture” argument. Nature applies to traits that develop either from genetics or during fetal developmental. Nurture applies to external social and developmental factors that contribute to personality after birth. 

There does seem to be a correlation between what season and month people were born in and certain personality traits. It is definitely true that levels of sunlight can have a huge impact on human health and development, but light exposure and seasons can be vastly different across the globe (especially in moving closer and farther away from the equator), which is probably why detailed astrological charts involve looking at birthplace. 

It also provides perspective on why there are differences between the Western and Chinese Zodiacs but there are still some similarities in the way traits are applied. For example, in the Western Zodiac we have “Earth, Air, Fire, and Water” and in the Chinese Zodiac we have “Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water” because human beings across cultures understand how valuable these elements were to our survival. 

Human beings are pattern-seeking creatures, so it isn’t any surprise that they personified these elements and began correlating them to aspects of human personality. It was just another way of trying to make sense of the world, and I am not surprised that when astrologers examined the natural world and the cosmos (as better astronomical tools became available) they began to make connections between children born in certain seasons and certain personality traits, and I don’t believe the correlation is completely nonexistent. 

The issue we see is that some people tend to think that personality is a fixed thing, and that when someone is born a certain way [nature] their traits are entirely resistant to change [underemphasizing nurture]. 

Even if astrology can offer us some predictors about how a person’s character might develop, we have to remember that personality has nothing to do with whether someone is a “good” or “bad” person. Some people may be more or less outgoing than others, more or less athletic, more or less organized, more or less playful, and more or less “nice” than other people, but that has nothing to do with their morality or ability to be a good romantic partner, friend, sibling, or parent. 

The strength of a relationship is almost entirely dependent on the values of the parties involved.

Whether “star-crossed” or “star-aligned”, the strength of peoples’ relationships is entirely dependent on whether or not they are based on honesty, mutual respect, and compassion. We all know that some people we love have habits that may occasionally-- or frequently-- grate on our nerves, but our choice on whether to continue living with and loving that person is rarely just down to personality. 

We all have that person in our lives with a grinchy, McScrooge disposition, but we love them because they keep their word and you know deep down that they’ve got a good heart even if they don’t always show affection as easily as other people do. 

We also all know someone that is the life of the party, loud, fun, almost obnoxious in their zest for life, but we wouldn’t trust them as far as we could throw them when it comes to any major responsibility. But we still love them anyway. 

And with have to admit to ourselves, that sometimes love is not enough.

Love is never an excuse to allow someone to run roughshod over your boundaries, devalue your ideas, and monopolize your time. Love alone will not save any relationship where either party lacks respect, trust, and compassion.

After ending many relationships this year (including one that I held in very high value) I found out that it isn’t about personality. “Ugh, she’s such a Virgo!” is not a mature answer for why you can’t get along with your best friend, boss, or mother. 

I know that Kati Morton used to say “some relationships are bad recipes” and I don’t really believe that anymore. I don’t really believe that people share mutual blame like that for why things fall apart. It’s fine to admit that someone annoys you or gets on your nerves, but when there is that much bad blood with someone you used to be associated with, I think that boundary violations-- either on your part or theirs-- are to blame. 

I used to lean towards a belief in “star matches” but now I truly believe there are no incompatible signs.   

I know that I tend to lack romantic chemistry with most of my fellow Air nomads, but I always have amazing conversations and a kind of instant connection. I know that from experience, Water signs are amazing listeners. I know that I tend to have a shared drive with so many Earth signs, and that Fire signs have a unique capability to humor and delight. 

Fire signs can also burn your whole life down if you let them. Water signs can be secretive and vindictive. Earth signs can be so stubborn that they won’t admit a single flaw. Air signs can be unreliable and aloof. 

But guess what? So can everyone, because we all have aspects of each element inside of us. Leaning a certain way does not make us more or less bad or good. It just makes us human. 

As I reflect on my experiences this year, I am far more interested in how systems of meaning develop, than the systems themselves. Astrology, just like religion, was developed by humans who desperately wanted to provide an explanation for the mysterious workings of the cosmos, our planet, and the human heart. I think whether or not astrology is “real” is far less important than the history and traditions associated with it. 

Each of the signs in the Western Zodiac has a unique mythological creature and story attached to it. It was only this year that I found out that Capricorn is represented by a half-goat, half-fish creature (essentially a mergoat), and I learned that my sign (Libra) was only introduced into the zodiac later, because there was too much intensity going on between The Virgin (Virgo) and Scorpio (the Scorpion, duh) and Libra was brought in to balance things out. That is the reason why Librans are the only members of the zodiac family to not be represented by a living creature. 

I also found out that this might’ve been part of it because human beings have been liking the number 12 for a good minute, so we had to even out that odd 11 sooner or later. In my numerological deep dive I also found out that Romans were freaked out by the number 17, because it was written “XVII” and that, along with the fact that it was a weird prime number, really upset their sense of symmetry. In general it seems humans are not fond of numbers that cannot be divided by anything other than 1 and itself. So 9 is in, but 13 is out, and its probably more this, rather than the fact that we don’t want a snake sign in the Zodiac, that so many astrologers soundly refuse to recognize Ophiuchus. Obviously we make an exception for 0 (both a number and not a number) and also 1 and 2.  

I “wiki-walked” more and found out that a number of prominent musicians have superstitions regarding numbers, probably because our profession is way more about keeping time and counting than most people realize. 

Also, it’s been fascinating to find out about “the ages” which require incredible math to calculate. We are apparently just beginning the “Age of Aquarius” and a lot of changes that were predicted using past data seem to be “coming to pass.” 

Full disclosure: you can’t use astrology to predict the future of the planet anymore than you can the future of your relationship.

I use astrology to help me understand the past, but I do not trust the validity of horoscopes because it is impossible to know the future. I have developed a saying “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it echoes.” Economists, political analysists, climate scientists, and other experts in their field do not make their predictions based on “hunches” or mysterious esoteric knowledge, they make their predictions based on interpretation of data, and even if these predictions can be incredibly accurate, they are not completely infallible. 

In other words, you aren’t going to experience relationship troubles during “Mercury in retrograde” unless you expect and believe you will, or some other unrelated event causes it. The only difference then is that because you were hypervigilant, you shifted your own behavior in a way that exacerbated the issues, i.e. “a self-fulfilling prophecy.” 

If your marriage or friendship is failing, “astrological differences” likely aren’t the main culprit. Similarly, you should never dismiss your intuition that something is wrong just because your horoscope said, “You will find true love in December” and that is when you found it. That’s called a coincidence, and they’re everywhere. Trust yourself and trust your instincts. Your own personal patterns matters much more than what a stranger or an algorithm has predicted about you. Don’t try to “follow the signs”, test things out and see if things you find in your chart actually line up with what you’ve been experiencing. 

I really do believe in some kind of carnal divinity, a common life-energy that is connecting all living beings to one another. Don’t let your natural light and vitality be dimmed by people who enjoy burying their own light under a bushel. It isn’t a matter of “good” and “evil” in so many cases, but it really is about what kind of life each person wants and/or is willing to tolerate. 

That beings said, welcome to Sagittarius season! I hope you all find your inner flame archer and ride on your metaphorical horse legs right into your destiny. 

#moon sign in Sagittarius #star sign compatibility #history of astrology #toxic relationships #setting healthy boundaries #horsocopes #why you're not star crossed you just have a shitty relationship #loving yourself #time to centaur it up in this place

[a-woman-apart]

Why must Scorpio season always be like this

#no context wailing #scorpio season #you know what I mean whether its good or absolutely heartwrenching

[a-woman-apart]

You can trust your own judgment

If you need guidance, your heart already knows who you need to ask. I know you’re hurting. Please find some help so that you can get the peace you so desperately crave. 

#sometimes love isn't enough especially if you don't know how to love yourself

[a-woman-apart]

I’m not a Bookmark

I can’t just keep waiting while you stay stuck on the last chapter. I want to finish not just this chapter, but this book, and then move on to even bigger things. 

#keep going #always restless #legend of korra #avatar korra #korra's physique is still goals

[a-woman-apart]

I’ve been asking myself the question

“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” and it’s been working out pretty well. 

#liberation #there is nothing wrong with us

[a-woman-apart]

Burning bridges

Sometimes, you shouldn’t. Other times, you should. Make sure they never cross into your lands again, and also, that you’re not tempted to swim back across the moat. Castle moats were made not to be crossed without a drawbridge. DON’T LOOK BACK. 

#burning bridges #saying no #bye felicia

[a-woman-apart]

Get off your goddamned fucking high horse and stop acting like qualifying for the oppression Olympics gives you the right to shame another American for how they’ve chosen to vote, ESPECIALLY when the man you’re encouraging me to vote for finger-raped one of his aides and is shielding a son who is literally being accused of crimes shockingly similar to the ones the DNC establishment [failed] to impeach Trump on. 

Also, by the way, Biden didn’t “make a few mistakes” unless you call drafting the 1994 Crime Bill a “mistake”, the crime bill that negatively affected the lives of MILLIONS of African-Americans and will likely now negatively affect the lives of millions of poor white Americans who are being imprisoned at alarming rates due to crimes related to the opioid epidemic; an epidemic that has been so severe that it reduced the overall life expectancy in the U.S., and the only candidate who brought significant attention to it during his presidential run was Andrew Yang, the same Andrew Yang who was the victim of a nationwide censorship campaign by the left-aligned mass-media. 

Also, Biden is the same man who said, “If you vote for Trump over me, you ain’t black” which doesn’t sound like a reformed man, it sounds like an unreformed racist (as most Southern Democrats historically were). I hate to pull out the race card, but since we’re talking “privilege”, which has become such an incredibly racialized and label-based word when in reality it should be-- and IS-- only related to class privilege, not lack of “protected” gender/race/sexual orientation, I AM BLACK. My dad was from Nigeria, my mom (still black) was from South Carolina, and I have had varying degrees of economic advantage and disadvantage my entire life. 

Of course, if racism, sexual assault, and corruption aren’t enough reasons not to vote for Biden if you want to sleep at night, maybe the fact that he glibly told Americans coal miners-- some of the most disenfranchised people in America-- “learn to code” demonstrates an INCREDIBLE lack of empathy.

Also, let’s talk about his multiracial, prosecuting [token] black female Vice President, the one who will actually be the one running the country when Biden becomes incapacitated by his dementia in 2 years. She’s not going to stand up for human rights, either, despite all her lip service, she’s going to stand up for the rights of Big Tech to limit our free speech (which does directly affect independent creators and the working class, who lack representation and governmental support already). Also, she’s not going to be terrible “pro-minority” either, given her track-record of imprisoning poor single mothers as punishment for their children’s truancy. If you think that’s A-OK, think about the fact that most poor people struggle to afford safe and adequate childcare for their children, and for all their “listening” Bumbling Biden and Kamala Kameleon have yet to provide any sort of real hope to people with real problems. 

Also, since you and I are talking on personal terms now [your rule] I am unemployed due to the small company I am working for closing. I have Bipolar I Disorder, and neither my boyfriend (who financially depends on me) and I have been able to work. We live in one of the most COVID-19 infected zip codes in our city, possibly our whole state, so we have to be extremely careful about the transportation we take, which is limited because I had to give up my car due to financial strain. Numerous people (people I ACTUALLY know), on both the right and the left, have shown intolerable coldness to me due to what I say and believe, who I am dating, and my financial status. 

So, don’t preach to me about “privilege.” I don’t have any, not by a motherfucking long shot. Also, Biden and Harris have given almost NO REAL PLAN on how they are going to remedy the horrible conditions that Trump’s presidency has generated, ESPECIALLY the most deadly one (200,000+ dead and counting), the COVID-19 crisis. Biden said he has plans to try to reduce the deficit...oh whoop-de-doo, let’s reduce spending IN A PANDEMIC. He also opposes Universal Health Care, because it’s “too expensive” and while he’s right, there are people who have ways we can reduce that cost and make it all possible, and he shows them nothing but disrespect. 

Also, while you might find it difficult to understand, we have 3 branches of government Executive, Legislative, and Judicial. The Executive branch, while privy to a distressing amount of power (way beyond the Founding Fathers’ intent) does not, and can not bear the full blame for a country’s failure. If you’d been following my work (lol), you would know that I have been calling for Mitch McConnell to just, be gone, for a good minute, because he’s a HUGE part of the reason why the whole thing government relief thing was fucked up and Americans did not receive adequate aid. Kente-cloth kneeling Nancy Pelsoi was the other part of it. I honestly believe they should both be tried for treason and shot for crimes against America-- BOTH OF THEM. 

Also, as for Trump “becoming a dictator”, again, that’s only if the Congress, the Judicial Branch, and most importantly, THE MILITARY are on his side, and he’s been making way more enemies than friends, in case you hadn’t noticed. He’s incredibly vulnerable, even if he wins, and even if he is entirely a lunatic, we now know that now, more than ever, he can be pressured into making changes. 

Finally (because this rant is getting ridiculously long) I think I have already given the DNC as much as it deserves, at this point. Ideally, we would’ve had Andrew Yang as the Democratic Presidential Nominee, but it was just way too much of a long shot. However, we STILL have him; his foundation endorsed several progressive candidates for Congress (many of whom won their races) and has been independently providing financial aid to families affected by COVID-19, when the government itself failed them. 

I voted for Hilary Clinton in 2016, and she didn’t win. So, I ACTUALLY voted to stop this dude, I voted for “the lesser of two evils” and well, fool me once, but not twice. Hilary Clinton is a trash human being, but she actually had the experience and leadership skills that might’ve guided this nation through this disaster. What she didn’t have were the campaign skills to win, I guess. 

And one common denominator between this year and 2016 was Bernie Sanders. In lieu of a single better option (besides Yang), I became “Bernie or bust” and after the shit-show that was the Democratic National Convention, I see no reason to continue supporting anything the DNC Establishment says or does. I am literally changing my party affiliation to Independent after this election. The way they treated Tulsi Gabbard also contributed to my distaste. 

The DNC fiasco was “the straw that broke the camel’s back.” Honestly, if they had force fed us anyone except “I’m the only one who can beat Trump” slobbering Biden, I might’ve considered voting for that person (with the exception of Stop-and-Frisk Billionaire Bloomberg). With Biden, there is NO WAY IN HELL. 

Also, the fact that you glossed over the fact of the other down ballot races being important to vote for, you’ve managed to fall into the greatest trap of America politicians; getting us to focus solely on the presidential race. The Texas Legislature consists on some of the worst senators, representatives, and local leaders on earth, and in my state, getting those people out is INCREDIBLY important, especially because states still hold a lot of power over how emergencies, worker rights, and the rights of marginalized people are handled. Telling me I’m “privileged” because I don’t want to vote for someone who did INCREDIBLE harm to this country over an EXTENDED period of time, because he’s “less bad” then someone who’s only been doing assholish things for about 4, strikes me as INCREDIBLY short-sighted and ignorant. 

So many people who speak and behave like you implore others to “know your history” and “educate yourself.” Right back at you and yours, sweetie.  

Biden vs Sanders

#never biden never trump #end vote shaming #if you aren't a part of the solution you're part of the problem

[a-woman-apart]

I will never vote for Biden. EVER. He’s not the lesser of two evils, he’s just evil. He’s put so little effort into his campaign beyond “orange man bad” that it’s pathetic, and unlike Trump, he’s been a politician his ENTIRE LIFE and this is what he did with his career. 

Trump is an incompetent fool, though, so I’m not voting for him either. Definitely writing in my own choice AND voting down ballot because those races are the only ones that really matter at this point. 

Biden vs Sanders

#never biden never trump #yanggang

[a-woman-apart]

PSA

As of the latter half of 2020, I’m pretty sure this is the only person who is allowed to leave me hanging, and even he better have a damn good reason. 

#spiderman #spidey sense #spiderman is underrated #don't know if I want to be mary jane watson or date mary jane watson #bisexual struggle

[a-woman-apart]

Politically incorrect joke

Typical misogynist: Women are property, meaning we should get to do whatever we want with them, make them do whatever we want them to do, and they should put up with it and not talk back. Also, femicide is A-OK, but not too much, otherwise we might run out of pliable women 

Typical misandrist: As soon as possible, we should enslave men, harvest their sperm to allow for necessary genetic diversity, perfect asexual reproduction through a combination IVF and cloning, and then eliminate the troublesome male subtype from our species, thus bringing in a new reign of everlasting female rule. Also, androcide is perfectly acceptable, both as a retaliation for years of femicide and as practice for eventual male genocide 

Typical misogynist: ...This is why we need to keep women out of STEM. 

#misandry #misogyny #it's all real folks #political lesbianism #hate is hate #do either of you fools really think declaring war on an entire gender is OK #dualism jokes #I'm pretty sure STEM is open

[a-woman-apart]

Well

We’ve been in Scorpio season for the last 5 days. Time to learn some harsh lessons, get my house in order, and try not to get knocked up due to the fact that it’s winter and I have a live-in boyfriend. Sex keeps you warm. 

#sexy season #scorpio season #water signs are wise but absolutely savage #I'll stick with fire signs #get a fire sign to keep you warm all year long #sagittarius moon

[a-woman-apart]

Be a Man

But don’t forget to be mysterious as the dark side of the moon, like a woman.

#the real feminine mystique #yes no one knows what women do and I think we should keep in that way #I speak woman fluently but kick ass man style #mulan was a goddess #don't take heroin be a heroine #be like mulan

[a-woman-apart]

Inception

I was watching scenes from the movie “inception” a few days ago and the part where Cobb says, “Let’s be young men again” I felt that deep in my soul. 

I feel like I’ve aged so much this year, and even though I’ve gotten [some] of my physical strength back, my mind has taken a deep beating. 

And for everyone who is like, “YOU’RE NOT A MAN--”

Shhh. All my life, I’ve wanted to just be “one of the guys” and in many ways, I am. Let me appropriate this bro moment, just this once. 

#let's be young men again #I've been young and now I'm old #bro moments #living your best life in your 30s #tales from the pandemic #stop diminishing fraternal love by using the word bromance #bros before hos #it was only just a dream #inception

[a-woman-apart]

I had so much to say about this and Tumblr was kind enough to delete my entire post, so I’m just going to do the right thing and reblog with the request to, “say it louder for the people in the back” 

You know eveytime they tell those straight Supergirl actresses they gotta pretend to like pussy they think about giving it all up and moving back to bumfuck Ohio

#lesbian portrayal #bisexual women portrayal #love is love but loving a woman and loving a man can be expressed quite differently #more chemistry in media

[a-woman-apart]

#lessons learned in the plague of 2020