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i’m chilling but i’m going to freak out

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can’t believe the entirety of me being 25 will be spent finishing college. i hate it here.

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bella?

who?

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Do you allow everyone to follow your tiktok

nobody

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Do you have a Snapchat or Tiktok we can follow?

naur

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I've always admired you ever since I first started following you years ago, you've always spoken your mind in a way that has always resonated with me. I hope you're doing well <3

whoa! thank you! this must be old because i don’t recall getting a notif for it but thank you❤︎❤︎❤︎ppl that don’t know me usually hate that i speak my mind, so i appreciate your kind words greatly❤︎wishing you the best!

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Why were you crying? :(

do you want the long answer? because here it comes lol, i feel very frustrated with school. recently realized i don’t want to pursue what i’m studying because it would require me to sacrifice family and friend time, and anything outside of work. and i’m sorry i don’t care how big a dream this job has been for me since i was 17, in my opinion no dream job is worth sacrificing time with the people you love (including yourself!). so i wanna dropout but i’ve been in college since 2018 (SIX YEARS NOW) and i am done mentally. i’m on track to graduate from my department in spring 2025, so one year huh, doesn’t sound so bad, right? WRONG! still three more semesters (mandatory summer) NOT including the semester i am currently in. now it wouldn’t be so bad if i could be a part time student, but in order to use the account money my parents saved my whole life for my education, i HAVE to be a full time student. funny thing is my major only require me to take one class per semester (because the workload is so intense for each class), like the class i HAVE to take this upcoming fall is only offered in the fall and requires you to have completed the class im taking right now, which is only offered in the spring and required me to take another class last semester and so on and so forth. i just feel very sad because regardless of all this i love what i’m studying. always have. always will. but it’s not something i wanna do as a job. i don’t want a job that requires me to be on call like that. i don’t want this life. i would rather substitute teach and doordash. i don’t want some fancy job. i just wanna have something that i can request off or take off with no problem and give time and energy to the people i love. rn i don’t feel i have the opportunities to do that. the people i love are what make life worth living, not a job. it just hurts that my mom can only tell me to just finish school because i need to have a diploma to succeed (which fine whatever but that’s not the point) instead of recognizing i’m hurting and exhausted and sad. i want to go back to working, i miss having independence and money so so much.

sorry for the rant, wishing you a beautiful day❤︎

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me: crying my heart out to my mom over the phone, incredibly upset and feeling totally trapped yet lost at the same time

my mother: “i can’t do this rn”

#ok it’s her first time on earth too #she’s not suppose to be a pro #but damn that really hurt #i want to drop out

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“To love is to find pleasure in the happiness of others.”

— Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz, Confessio Philosophi

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This would be an adorable little tattoo. 💕 1908. Source.

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it's not natural for candy to be $3.49. candy is supposed to be one dollar

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Satin Gloss. The small fruit culturist. 1881.

Internet Archive

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it’s so hard to live in this evil world and not fear everyday where we’ll be not even just ten years from now, but 10 months from now. look at the world around you, everything and everyone is burning.

#maybe i’m a pessimist

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