absolute-snzaster

[absolute-snzaster]

im so sorry you are sick but could you post some of your cough for us who like coughing?? also, I hope you feel better

thank you so much anon, here’s a short clip with pretty much half coughing/half sneezing, because as this cold has my nose so sensitive and itchy that i can’t stop sneezing, but hitching and the irregularity of my breathing when i sneeze tickles my throat and chest and makes me cough.

this clip is short and my sneezes sound weird due to how congested i am and also because i’m trying to hold them back (and failing) because the more i sneeze the more i cough and the more my head and throat hurt :( it’s not horrible but it’s certainly annoying

i hope you enjoy and i’m sorry it’s short, i’ll have more cold stuff coming soon

#bless you sweetheart you sound terrible #by which I mean amazing obviously #but also I hope you feel better soon #wav #snz wav #cold wav

[absolute-snzaster]

Too Late...

Em belongs to @sneezegalaxy

#holy fucking shit how have I never seen this #it's perfect #oh my god he's so /soft/ #I am back on my louie craving bullshit #due to reasons #and by reasons I mean FEELINGS #unfortunately #anyway this is exactly what I needed #kaze you always have the goods #other people's extremely good snz art

[absolute-snzaster]

day 1 of cold = snotty nose

caught a bit of this mini fit i had after showering

#reblogging for later #wav #cold wav #update: holy fucking shit

[absolute-snzaster]

Blorbos from my brain my beloved 💙 rough sketches under the cut

Matthew and Levi, my dumbass fire medics. Not a brain cell between them. They live in my head rent free

#I love these two idiots so much #absolute dumbasses #not a brain cell between them #they're perfect your honor

[absolute-snzaster]

sneezing into a fetishist’s skirt

#nikodal 💖

[absolute-snzaster]

Could you do a scenario where you come home to your girlfriend/boyfriend after being sent home sick from work with a sneezy cold? I love your sneezes and you’ve been really good at scenarios!

Sent home early, but I definitely don't have a cold

A collaboration with the amazing @autumnsneezes!

CW: male snz, m/f, cold denial, v small mention of mess, wholesome :')

✨ 18+ only -- please read my pinned post before interacting/following -- if you do not have your age listed prominently on your blog, I'm going to block you instantly ✨

Script below the break, for the curious.

sound of keys jangling, door opening

B: Hello -? - oh honey, it's you! Gosh, you scared me. I wasn't expecting you for hours. What are you doing home so soon?

A (sniffly/congested): Hey, oh it was quiet today, so they - excuse me - *sneeze* - they said I could get away early.

B: Bless you! You feeling okay? You were a little peaky when you left this morning.

A: I’m fine, yeah - *sneeze* - it’s just been a long day.

B: Sweetie, it’s barely lunch time.

A: Uhh, a long week.

B: It’s Tuesday…

A: *sneeze*

B: … in peak season… they really let you come home?

A: Do we have tissues somewhere?

B: Probably! You coming down with something?

A: No, no. It's a bit chilly out there and it set me off for a sec. *sniff* All done now. Uhm, actually, hang on - *sneeze, sneeze*. OK, now I'm all done. Just a little tickle, but that's gotten rid of it.

B: Bless you, sweetheart. You never sneeze this much - that's five times already since you came in! Are you sure you're okay? Let me feel your forehead…

A: *sniffling*

B: Hmm, you're a little warm and clammy. Didn't you say there was a bug doing the rounds at work?

A: Oh yeah, it's been awful. Half the office has been off for a few days. *sniffling* But you know me - I never catch these things. (breathily) World's best immune system.

B: Mmhmm. Hey, even the world's greatest has to take a break sometimes.

A: *sniffling, rubbing nose* Not me.

B: So, if you're not sick… why are you about to sneeze again?

A: I'm not.

B: You are. Stop trying to hold it back.

A: I'm not.

B: Honey, I can see it in your face. Your nose is bright red and dripping.

A: *rubbing nose* No, it's not. I don't need to sneeze.

B: Yes, you do. You can hardly even keep your eyes open against that tickle.

A: I can - I'm not gonna - *very forceful/wet stifle*

B: Hey. Don't do that - you know it's not good for you. Just let them out.

A: (pinching nose) I'm - I'm gonna make a mess - 

B: Doesn't matter. It's just us here. Now let. it. out.

A: *gives a series of drawn out, unrestrained sneezes. B blesses/encourages/petnames them after each one*

A: (from behind cupped hands) Oh my god…

B: All done?

A: *sniffling thickly* For now.

B: Good. Now, admit you're sick and I'll get you a tissue.

A: Alright, alright… I'm sick. *sneeze* And I'm gonna need more than one.

#reblogging for later #wav

[absolute-snzaster]

someone sneezing a big messy sneeze uncovered everywhere and politely saying excuse me innocently as though they had covered it

#op you're a genius

[absolute-snzaster]

holy moly man,, what the flip 🙀 (wish I could remember this character’s name,, but bro was a hot sneezy demon. I haven’t drawn him since early 2023 😭)

#the first one is fucking sending me #I love the way you draw mess #and those little hitches and sniffles #and his EXPRESSION #mmmm #other people's incredibly hot snz art

[absolute-snzaster]

Sneezy pleasy

I've been really sneezy so I thought I'd make more of it while I was...well, you can probably hear in the background ;)

#damn this is hot #wav

[absolute-snzaster]

"I'm back," G/ojo singsongs, holding up a bag filled with multiple tissue boxes.

N/anami immediately makes grabby hands towards the tissue boxes. It makes G/ojo chuckle, who tears one open and flings it towards the bed. N/anami envelopes his nose in a wad of tissues, relishing in a long, soaking blow.

"Oh K/ento." G/eto winces slightly at the sound. He puts away the toilet roll N/anami had been using while they had sent G/ojo to the store.

After making somewhat of a dent in his congestion, N/anami offers a tissue to G/eto. G/eto raises his brows slightly, before realising his own nose had grown a little runny. "Thanks," G/eto says, wiping softly under his nostrils. At the tail end of his cold, he was left with the remnants of a sniffly nose and a slight cough.

N/anami, having been the last one to go down with the cold, was in the thick of it. Harsh, wet sneezes erupted from his swollen nose every few minutes. His lips were dry, his ears clogged, and the skin around his upper lip was painfully red.

The original patient zero emerges from the bathroom after changing into his pyjamas. "Sorry I got the both of you sick," G/ojo says, climbing under the covers to join them.

"You weren't very sorry when you were sneezing all over us," G/eto remarks with a light-hearted smile.

"I can never feel my sneezes coming. I don't know how you do it," G/ojo replies with a pout.

N/anami interrupts them with a heavy sneeze, followed by another severe noseblow. G/ojo reaches over to grab his used tissues and throws them into the bin.

"Ugh, don't touch those," N/anami tells him, punctuated with a dense sniffle.

"You don't worry about that, N/anamin. Rest, don't even move an inch," G/ojo orders. "Whatever you need, just tell me."

"Do you want more tea?" G/eto offers.

N/anami shakes his head, pulling the blankets higher around him. G/eto snuggles closer in response, and G/ojo's arms snake around him from behind.

#oh this is GOOD

[absolute-snzaster]

losing my entire mind over this person on reddit who made a blanket based on the number of times they sneezed last year

#what the fuck (positive)

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when they try to maintain eye contact with you even as they feel the sneeze coming on >>>>>>

trying to see past the involuntary squint developing, peeking over the hand/arm/tissue that they're lifting to their face, tears blur their line of sight. trying to show you respect and prove that they're listening, they are therefore pissed at their own build-ups which are interrupting you with increasing frequency and increasing volume.

they try to stave it off as they debate internally: is it ruder to give into the sneezing fit or to continue delaying it? zero attention for the next several seconds or half-attention for the next several minutes?

after enough of their hitches, you thankfully and mercifully decide for them, "go ahead, let it out, I'll wait until you're done."

#me and who fr

[absolute-snzaster]

Been obsessed recently with the thought of A guiding a miserably allergic B out of a place they've begun to stifle a sneezing fit in (dusty library, flower shop, crowded party) and once they get out, getting some verbal confirmation from A like

"Alright, you can sneeze now."

and then B letting it all out as much and as loudly as they want.

#birb coded #me when I read the tags and it is in fact birb lmao

[absolute-snzaster]

I’m normallll I’m normal about cowboys who have gruff voices sneezing into a handkerchief and then muttering like “pardon me” or something AAUAGGHH

#oh my god I had never considered whether or not to be normal about this #but I absolutely am not

[absolute-snzaster]

Ooooh! Prompt!

A cinderella story, but make it sneeze. At a masquerade ball, someone is very sneezy for one reason or another. Fortunately, someone with the kink finds them, and they have a fantastic night together - but never take off the masks.

After parting ways at the end of the night, how will they find each other?

#can't believe I share this kink with a bunch of actual GENIUSES #y'all's minds damn

[absolute-snzaster]

lrb: her telling him he'll attract attention coming back in with her wetness streaked on his pant leg and him reminding her she's got his snot all over her dress

#snz thoughts

[absolute-snzaster]

M Allergies, 1.6k words

I'm back with another fic gang. This time featuring two high society exes reuniting at a fancy gala. In proper prohistamine fashion this one features allergies, a character with the fetish, and fun power dynamics.

Be warned! somewhat explicit sexual content and general unforgivable horniness

“Lovely of you to come, truly I’m so glad to see you both.” Lorna shook the minister's hand in hers, firmly and warmly. A handshake practiced a thousand times over. “Ms. Windsor arrived a few minutes ago I believe, I’m sure she’d be delighted to catch up on your party's substantial victories in the recent election.”

As he turned away Lorna selected a flute of champagne from a passing waiter's tray and took a healthy sip. She’d need it to get through the rest of the night. She turned towards the door, ready to resume her assessment of each new guest as they arrived, but when she saw the man who’d just walked through the doors her stomach dropped. His dark hair was shorter than the last time she'd seen him, falling in waves around his face. He looked smug as ever, and when he caught her eye he started walking her way. 

“Colin,” she murmured through gritted teeth, “I didn’t think you’d be caught dead here.”

Colin grinned thinly. “Ah well, you would assume I’d choose to be petty, you always thought the worst of me.” 

She scoffed. “That is a charitable way to describe two years of you repeatedly lowering my expectations.”

“Now Lorna, can’t we put the past behind us? What is it we always said, not to let pleasure interfere with our business?” 

“Stirring up unnecessary rumors will interfere with business. Don’t you think it’s a bit soon for us to be speaking in public? The dust has barely settled, people will talk.” 

“‘Oh the worst fate!” he said in mocking horror, “to be the victim of gossip! Do you think we’ll make it out alive?” 

“Oh of course, because you're so above petty politics. I’m the one who’s obsessed with gossip and you just let it roll off your back.”

“Do you think you could say that again for me? Maybe I can get it on tape.” He smiled and rubbed at his nose absentmindedly. 

“You know what? I’m glad you came. I really missed that familiar little headache you gave me. It's this sort of… gentle throbbing at the base of my skull? I’m just not the same without it.”

“I knew you missed me. I missed the exercise I got from our conversations, we should really make a habit of it.” He rubbed his nose again, with more intention, and was she imagining it, or was the motion accompanied by the faint sound of wetness? 

“Are you just here to flaunt your ability to get yourself out of bed?” Lorna asked, “ Because if so, point proven. This is kind of an important night for me.”  

“Ah well, I’m glad you recognize my presence as the achievement it is, but I do have something to-” he cut himself off with a sniff and a scrubbing at his nostrils, “something to discuss. I have to ahh- hehh-” Lorna recognized the face he was making immediately, the far away look in his eye, the crease between his eyebrows. His buildup was, as always, dramatically long before he snatched his handkerchief out of his pocket and sneezed into it twice “AaaSCHU!  AaaeSTCHU!” As always, there was no attempt to stifle his violent outburst. He looked up at her blearily, “Ah, pardon me.”

There was a faint smirk in his tone. Lorna scowled. Of course this would happen, just what she needed when she was already struggling to maintain her composure. 

“Bless you.” she managed to say, intent on keeping her voice even. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of having a reaction. 

“Thank you I- oh there's- Aaah- ahh- AhGHSHUU! AESHTEW! AEGHEEW! Huhh. There were more.” 

Despite her frustration, the familiar heat was rising in Lorna’s stomach and traveling down between her legs. Composure be damned, she leaned forward and hissed into his ear. 

“Are you doing this on purpose?” 

He chuckled. “Oh that would have been brilliant. I’m not that cruel, I'm afraid, or that creative. It must be the floral decorations. I’m desperately allergic, you see.” 

Oh he was fucking loving this. 

“People will stare you know. You’re embarrassing yourself.” She was looking for any way to take back power in the conversation, and she realized she’d been sloppy the moment she spoke. 

“Embarrassing myself?” he asked smugly, “Oh you’d love that wouldn’t you.” 

“I’m leaving.” 

“C’mon now Lorna, I do have something important to discuss. How about we go out onto the balcony to talk. No worries about prying eyes, and the fresh air will be good for my nose.” 

Lorna cast a glance at the large glass doors leading out to the south balcony. They had fabric drapes in front of them, placed intentionally for anyone desiring a conversation away from the eye of the press. Regardless of the privacy they’d have once they got there, people would be sure to notice the two of them leaving together. The smart decision would be to tell him she wasn’t interested in talking, but she desperately wanted a break from the crowd, and, pathetic as it made her feel, she wasn’t sure she could pass up the chance to continue watching him sneeze. It had been months since she’d had the pleasure, and she was beginning to feel like a woman starved. 

“Fine.” 

“Marvelous.” he said, words slightly muddled with congestion. 

They made their way across the room, no doubt incurring the whispers of several guests.

Once they’d stepped outside and shut the doors behind them, Lorna turned to Colin only to see his face skewed in preparation for another sneeze. 

“Hehh- Hhh- HhhSTCHU! HaAGHSHEW- I ha- hhh hhASHEW! I haahh- hadn’t realized it was …it was-” he held the handkerchief in front of his face expectantly as he struggled through the sentence, head tilted back as he gulped in air to fuel the fit, “ATZSHUU! ASHEWW! R-realized it was so… ahh- AschUUu! so cold out here.” 

A sufficient chill had settled in the air since the sun had set, something Lorna hadn’t even considered. Colin was wearing nothing but a simple suit jacket, and he’d always been incredibly sensitive to changes in temperature. Just going outside in cold weather usually caused him a small fit, and the combination with his fall allergies was having quite the effect. He blew his nose into the folds of his handkerchief and then geared up for more. 

“heeSGHEW! EESGHEW! HESHEWW!! Hehh- haaahh- ahh- ASHEW!” He was bending at the waist now with the force of them, and reached blindly to his left in search of the balcony railing, which he leaned on for support once he found it. 

“Huhh-hhhh-hhoh god- heeehSHUUH! EESHEW! HEERGHSTEW! ESH-ESH-ESHU!!

The fit was punctuated by three violent little sneezes that tripped over each other to be released.

Since the moment he’d first sneezed, Lorna had felt like she was putty in Colin’s hand. His intimate knowledge of just what his allergies did to her gave him a maddening and tantalizing power over her. However, as he desperately wrenched forward with sneeze after sneeze, one hand shakily clasping a handkerchief to his face and the other doing its best to keep him upright, it was hard to see him as holding any kind of powerful position. For the first time that night she felt a twinge of pity for him. The feeling both frustrated her, and, of course, only served to further arouse her. 

His fit finally subsided, and he slumped against the railing, gasping for breath. 

“Sorry,” he managed, too exhausted to sound properly smug. 

“Don’t be,” she couldn’t help but reply, her voice high pitched and obvious. She was so wet that she was worried it might actually start dripping down her legs. They both stood there for a moment in silence. 

“So,” he started, still somewhat breathless, “about the election-”

“Colin-” she interrupted him, “I appreciate the effort to resume our professional relationship, but I don’t think I can listen to you talk about politics after that performance.” She knew she had admitted defeat, but in the face of his sniffling, shivering frame she found she no longer desired to one up him. What she really desired was to fuck him, to ease him open with her fingers and fill him up until he couldnt see. That or be fucked by him, bent over and  begging for it as he held her by the hips with his big hands. 

“I understand,” he said, “another time then. Perhaps then, before we go inside, I could talk to you about something expressly unprofessional.” 

“Have at it Colin,” she said, trying not to sound like she was begging for it. 

“There's something I’d like to show you. I warn you, it’s somewhat inappropriate.” 

She felt her heart flutter in her chest, “I can handle that.”

He took a step toward her and then took her wrist. He guided her hand forward, lowering it beneath his waist and then pressing it between his legs where an erection was straining against the fabric of his dress pants. She moaned audibly at the surprise. 

“Do you see what you’ve done to me?” he murmured into her ear, “this is what happens to me now, every time I sneeze. I can’t help it.”

“Colin,” her voice was strangled. 

“How am I going to explain this to future lovers? You know how I get in the spring, I’ll be hard constantly. What will I say if they notice my cock twitch every time I sneeze? Every time they sneeze?” 

Lorna’s clit was throbbing. Colin gave a liquid sniff, and she moaned again, body shuddering against his. Her hand closed slightly around his cock and he gasped sharply.

“My nose still itches terribly,” he murmured, accentuating the statement with another sniffle, “It would feel heavenly to rub it on something soft.” 

“Please,” she begged him. 

He leaned down slowly, placing a hand firmly on her hip, and dragged his nose across her shoulder, rubbing it in the nape of her neck. She trembled at the feeling of his soft nostrils, shifting as they rubbed against her, leaving her skin slightly wet. 

“Fuck, that feels nice,” he said softly. She could do nothing but whimper in response. 

She let it go on for a moment, their bodies intertwined, her hand on his cock and his nose buried against her. It took everything in her not to pull him into a kiss. Instead she stepped back, and wiped her shoulder with her hand. 

“Thank you,” she said, wrangling her voice back to her well-practiced professionalism, “for that stimulating conversation on politics.” She took a moment to compose herself, taking a long deep breath and then continuing, “I have a gala to host, and you have one to attend. I think it best we continue this conversation later, after the guests have left. Perhaps in my personal chambers. You’d have to be discreet about staying behind of course, we wouldn’t want my guests to suspect we’re doing something illicit.” 

Colin looked taken aback, and then broke into a wide grin, “Of course ma’am.” 

She turned towards the door and then, before opening it, turned back towards him. “This does not mean I forgive you, " she said sternly. 

Colin’s eyes sparkled. “Of course not.”

#jesus fuck this is hot #we love a character who gets conditioned to become impossibly hard to their own sneezes!!!!!! #I hope they fuck and get married and have a parade of sneezy lovers through their bed #no idea if you intend to write more of these two but I would EAT it with my MOUTH #anyway good story #other people's incredibly hot snz writing