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absurdthirst · 8 hours ago
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I have SEEN the blorbo original post and I still don't understand it in fanfic context. Can someone please for the love of blorbo itself explain it to me?
Huh?
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absurdthirst · 8 hours ago
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LOOK AT IT!!!! Look at the soap I had made!!!!!
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absurdthirst · 9 hours ago
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I need to know for science. Does your werwolf pedro is into cockwarming or na? With RL wolfs have knots and all? Like does it translate to ypur universe in any way? 👀🥺
I can’t give away all my secrets…those answers are coming up in the next chapter
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absurdthirst · 9 hours ago
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Same anon…same
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absurdthirst · 11 hours ago
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😭😭😭
I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!
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WIP Wednesday
UGH JEYYYYYYYYYYY. I was obviously tagged by the amazing @flightlessangelwings who is psychic and knew I was working on my stuff. So here ya go–
I have two things that are like at the finish line and ready to post, I just need to clean them up and fucking DO IT. 
1.  Tommy Shelby x f!Reader  - Peaky Blinders - One shot smut series in which reader is a bar/brothel owner and Tommy buys it out from under her but offers her a partnership. And they fuck. a lot. 
He dipped his head and caught your eyes, taking a step closer to you. “You came into a mess when you got the place, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me that.” You gripped the ends of the shawl around his shoulders, anchoring yourself as he continued to lean in. He smelled like rain. Like wet stone and woodsmoke from the fires of the factories down the street.
“You like it.”
“How do you know what I like?” you whispered.
“Gypsy magic. I know a lot of things you’d like.”
He breathed the words and they felt more like an accusation as you flicked your eyes up to his. Before you could stop him, he leaned forward and smashed his lips against yours. Your immediate reaction was to drop the shawl and press your palms flat against his chest, shoving him back from you as you touched your wet lips.
“Why did you do that?” you snapped.
“Because I wanted to,” he said, heavy breaths making his chest rise and fall.
“Do you always get what you want?”
“Usually.”
and 2. Oberyn Martell x f!reader - The Sunshine Undertow - A NEW SERIES WHAAAAAAAAAAT -  Game of Thrones Cross Over. (possible Doran Martell x Reader, a little Marcus Pike x Reader….its a MESS don’t @ me.)
“Are you going to cut my throat? Slice me up?” she spit the insults at him as he gripped her tighter to hold her still. “Do whatever that horrible blond man was going to do?”
“Blond ma–Rhaegar? Absolutely not,” he snarled and lessened his grip so he was no longer bruising her. “If you won’t walk willingly–I’ll carry you.”
“You can’t–”
“You don’t look too heavy,” he dipped his head with a grin and whispered above her ear. “Bit thick in the thighs–but I’m quite strong.”
“Uh! Excuse you!” she tried to elbow him and he switched his grip to her other arm. 
“I’ll pick you up and put you over my shoulder,” he shoved his sword back into the scabbard at his waist and spun her around to look down at her, still grinning. “It’ll probably hurt my injury–and undo all of that fine work you did back at the farm–is that what you want?”
She bit her lip and bared her teeth at him. “No.” 
“Well, then,” his grin turned to one of even more arrogance and pride, spurred by his victory. “I suppose that means you’re coming with me.”
tagging: @charnelhouse @fleetwoodmactshirt @qveenbvtch @doin-stuff @absurdthirst @rae-gar-targaryen @pettyprocrastination 
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absurdthirst · 12 hours ago
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How do I stop missing my ex boyfriend 🙃
Remember the shit he would do that would piss you off. It helps
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absurdthirst · 12 hours ago
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Can no one be normal about things anymore?? People are already sexualizing the fuck out of this short film and it's so fucking weird
Stay off Twitter.
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absurdthirst · 21 hours ago
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Awwwww it’s getting good!!!
all’s faire - chapter four
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Pairing: Modern Pero Tovar x F!Reader
Series rating: M
Chapter rating: M
Word count: 4,861
Notes: Things are starting to really get into motion! We’ve got the beginnings of feeling more than just dislike and contempt between these two and I’m so excited for you all to see what these feelings are. This chapter was read over as always by @ezrasbirdie​​ my beloved –thanks so much for being the best beta-reader a girl could ask for! And thank you to @lowlights​​ for being a great hype-woman💖
This fic is cross-posted to AO3 under the same name and my taglist can be found linked in my bio as well as my masterlist which is linked below.
Comments/reblogs appreciated.
Chapter warnings: Alcohol mention, food mention, swearing, kissing, enemies to lovers, fake dating/marriage, feelings.
previous chapter || next chapter || masterlist
Keep reading
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absurdthirst · 22 hours ago
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Night In {Dieter Bravo x F!Reader x Marcus Pike}
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Mild sexual situation
Comments: After the boys have been gone for weeks, it’s good to have them home. 
A/N: Part of the Love is Love Series
Writer Wednesday Week 18: 6/29/22
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Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.
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These days, or nights were so rare anymore. Dieter had been in England for filming yet another movie for the past four months while Marcus had been undercover on an important case. You had been left alone for weeks, only talking to Dieter when he was off the set, a five hour time difference between the two of you not allowing for much conversation.
Marcus had been unreachable, for his safety and your own, although it made you worry even more. Even if his team had been incredible with letting you know that he was okay, you still worried. It was your job, your right as one of his lovers.
He had found it at a pride event, one in the city as he had been coming home. The vendor specifically dyed the petals of the flowers to sell to thousands of people that were celebrating. A symbol of your community, a beautiful and meaningful thing to carry or just enjoy the beauty of it.
Dieter wasn’t the type to bring flowers home so it had been shocking in the best kind of way. Making you throw your arms around him in delighted exclamations of seeing him first and being touched by his gift second.
It led to this moment. Marcus had gotten home hours before and now the three of you were intertwined in each other. Kisses and touches exchanged, words and affirmations breathed into one another.
There is something about the way that Marcus’s leg slides up yours while Dieter’s smoothes over your back. Lips pressed to your shoulder, over and over again. The tiny smear of wetness from the tangled kiss that had just been shared between the two men while you watched. Now one of those tongues sliding against yours, the small hum of happiness and contentment in the back of your throat.
Heart beats and breaths shared although you make sure that your hand finds Dieter’s, fingers curling together and squeezing gently while you kiss Marcus.
“I missed both of you.” You admit, not that you hadn’t murmured that same sentiment over the past weeks that you have been apart. They both know that, they both feel the same way. Marcus had been telling you that same thing since he had been able to contact you after being done with his undercover assignment.
Just like Dieter had pouted at you every night you had talked on the phone. Groaning about how he shouldn’t have taken the role and that he was bored when he didn’t have you and Marcus with him. The drug usage had been consistent, some things about Dieter would probably never change, but he wasn’t asking random people to have sex with him.
He had complained that you needed to see him about twenty different times, begging you to come out only two days ago and had whined when you told him that he could last two more days until you saw his face again. Not even the FaceTime of Dieter naked had changed your mind, even though you had definitely been thinking about it later that night when you were alone in the big bed you share with both men.
“Missed you.” Marcus kisses your collarbone, his hand sliding over and stroking Dieter’s hip where he is plastered to your back. “And missed you.” His dark eyes slide off of you to shower the other man with a loving look.
You can’t see him, but you know Dieter’s eyes are soft and misty. Oftentimes unable to believe that he has two people who adore him seems to overwhelm him. As if he doesn’t deserve it or thinks that he doesn’t. The soft shell of the actor’s heart crumbling for the two of you and he shows it with the way that his body relaxes against your back and the soft sigh that he breathes out.
Smiling when you feel Dieter press closer, reaching over you to brush back the longer hair that Marcus has been sporting for the undercover mission. He says he needs a haircut, but you honestly like the definite wave he has in his hair.
“Do you two want to go out?” You ask, wondering if they would be happy going out to dinner or perhaps a wine bar. It was always amusing when Dieter and Marcus started debating the best wines. Dieter was a white wine kind of man where Marcus was firmly red. It was always amusing to see them both look at you in horror when you order rosé, just for giggles.
“No!” Huffing the exclamation in your ear, Dieter’s arm locks around you, pulling you back against him even more. “We are staying right here. No clothes.”
Marcus chuckles and raises his eyebrows as you grin at him. “Sorry, sweetheart.” He teases. “I agree with him on this one. We stay right here and the only time we wear anything is when the Uber Eats driver shows up.”
You giggle when Dieter grunts his approval and tucks his head against your neck. “Wear my robe.” He orders, knowing that he will not be the one going to get the food. It was too much of a risk since his popularity had risen after the Cliff Beasts documentary. Not wanting to have a repeat of the last time he had answered the door, cock ring on under his robe and ended up talking to the driver for at least ten minutes while you and Marcus giggled in the hallway out of view.
“Okay.” You had no interest in honestly going out. You want, needed, to be close to the two of them and be able to touch and kiss and tease at you pleased. Going out would just be twenty minutes of teasing in public until one of you snapped and dragged the other two back to the house. “We will have a night in.” You pretend to pout, although both men there is no where else you would rather be that night here with them.
You look over at the table that holds the colorful flower that Dieter had offered you. Smiling at the thoughtfulness of the gift as well as the symbolism. It was perfectly imperfect, just like the men you loved and the relationships the three of you nurtured together. The three of you bloomed together. 
MasterList
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absurdthirst · a day ago
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Hi Keri! For reasons unknown until now, I fully believe Dieter would have a psychic on speed dial. And one day they say “you will meet the love of your life on your next subway (or something) trip” and begins to give very small, very specific details about them (a ring they wear, a family member that’s supposedly passed on but is just in fact dead to the family, a tattoo hidden by their clothes, etc.)
Fast forward Dieter and reader collide in public and all he blurts out is “my psychic told me all about you.” Thus freaking out reader and refusing to believe they are destined to be the love of actor and walking disaster Dieter Bravo’s life 😂
It's canon......It's canon.....
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absurdthirst · a day ago
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I feel like the fuss over the Bubble scene is because people are treating it like it was supposed to be sexy….but it wasn’t! Dieter is a drugged-up hot mess having awkward imaginary sex, we’re supposed to be cringing. It wasn’t an actor blowing it or doing something problematic because a sex scene didn’t hit right, it was a ridiculous scene with a ridiculous character people only like bc Pedro played him lol.
I was laughing my ass off when the scene was playing honestly. 😂
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absurdthirst · a day ago
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Does anyone else (or you Keri lol) ever get obsessed with a new character after watching a new movie/show and need someone to talk about them with and you can't find anyone to to chat with about said character and you're just like: *sitting in the rain sadly* LOL
😂😂😂
Sometimes
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absurdthirst · a day ago
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The hallucination scene wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as the scene in Kingsman 2 where Eggy has to put the tracker in Clara.
I saw that movie with my father 😳
I snorted…
At 16….I watched American Pie with my dad…..😳😳
I swear I hid my face for 90% of the movie.
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absurdthirst · a day ago
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The mirror hallucination scene: “why are you so obsessed with me?”
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absurdthirst · a day ago
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I'm not sure if I need advice or to just vent. A conversation between my mother & I has recently come up regarding an action I took when I was a teen. The action I took was in response to being abused by my brother. My mother has memory issues & doesn't recall that bit of info. She has been pressing me lately to talk about it, but frankly I don't want to. If I remind her of the abuse, she would not likely take it well. She didn't when I was a teen. It's draining, dodging questions.
Tell her the truth. That you do not want to talk about it. Or maybe you can write it down in a journal and let her read it so you don’t have to talk.
Either way, I’m sorry you are going through this. There is nothing worse than reliving painful memories when you don’t want to.
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absurdthirst · a day ago
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There is a reason why Praying by Kesha is on the playlist for that Dieter fic and it isn't meant to be from Dieter's perspective.
Sometimes someone doesn’t deserve a second chance
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absurdthirst · a day ago
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Okay, seriously, would you ask the same question if the character wasn’t being played by a man we all adore?
Dieter CHEATED, multiple times, got high and ignored the readers needs. Emotionally and in the space of their relationship. He had ZERO respect for her or their relationship together and again CHEATED. 
You would want to see the reader stay? And reinforce the bad behavior? The only thing that got through to him was losing the reader. That was what made him realize he was a piece of shit for what he had done. He admitted it was the time he got caught, not the only time he slept with someone else. 
Would you want to stay with a man like that? Would you want your girlfriend to? Your daughter to stay with a man like that?
Yes, Dieter got his shit together. Only because he lost what he hadn’t realized was the most important things to him. 
Did you ever consider giving Dieter a happy ending and reuniting him with reader?
No.
The whole point of the fic was that he was a terrible person who didn’t appreciate what he had when he had it and had to deal with the consequences of his actions. It was never going to be a happy ending for him in second, third, and hundredth chances. It wouldn’t be realistic otherwise.
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