acedespades

[acedespades]

God being self-aware sucks

Its like "hmm I should probably go to therapy for this" but at the same time you already know what you are feeling, what's causing it, what you should be doing about it, and exactly how you are self sabotaging.

Like, ye im aware I need to change things, but I also lack the motivation to do anything about it? And then I get to thinking about going to someone, being told of how to be better, and inevitably beating myself up about it with guilt when I fail to follow through and thinking I've disappointed them by not doing what they recommended, especially if they've been patient and kind because then it just feels like I'm not pulling my part, which in this context is probably true.

There's also the detail that a lot of the time I can't bring myself to care, but then a day or two before something is meant to be done I suddenly get injected with a cold dose of anxious dread straight to my chest, which proceeds to sit there and not help anything at all because then I also get a mental block, a migraine or both.

Also.... like.... therapy/counseling costs money i don't have, so really it was never on the table to begin with?

#mental health #i think #rant #vent #therapy #????? #frankly i don't know how to make myself cooperate #then theres like that mundset #where im like #you should be doing this so you won't watch/play/go wherever until youve done some of it at least #which backfires inmensely because somehow I don't count reading on my phone as something to be avoided too? #but i get so booooored #and anyways #not like it's a relaxing read #so aware of what I should be doing so i just stressfully continue to read fanfics

[acedespades]

My thought process is whack. One minute I'll be complaining about how being in university doesn't feel real since its all online and the next I'll be asking my friends if they've ever though about how most older adults are orphans at this point.

#text post #shitpost #relatable #thoughts #thought process #university #orphans #wtf #honestly what the hell #i hope anybody who actally reads these know this is basically where I dump any thoughts that cross my head

[acedespades]

Eighteen years I've been living in this house; and yet I still get confused on which button is for the lights and which one is for the fan.

#shitpost #house #relatable #text post #why does this happen #honestly

[acedespades]

Me when I was little: "I'm having a hard time with this homework, can you help me?"

Parents: "You're a big girl now, you shouldn't need help at all. Now do your work while we help your little sister."

Me now: >struggling but refusing or just plain forgetting to ask for help with anything, thinking I can solve the problem myself.<

Parents: "We're right here, why don't you ever ask for help???? D:"

#I had no reason to and they were having bigger problems tha #so you never #or generally showed your true feelings in front of them #because whenever you did you were showing an #honestly #what did they THINK was gonna happen #meanwhile my little sister still gets help to this day #anybody else have this problem? #also theres this thing where i couldn't be petty or angry or sad at all becauseyou have no reason to feel that way when MY problems are so m #but for some reason your little sibling was never told this #so they could be as disrespectful as they want and the parents barely blink #and if you said even a fraction of what they said #then you were in the wrong #it sucks #text post #relatable #parenting #growing up

[acedespades]

Does anybody else ever procrastinate doing important stuff because you don't want anybody seeing you do the thing you've been procrastinating and start criticizing you? Like yes, I am aware I had two weeks to do this, im already beating myself about it, would you kindly fuck off and let me rush through the thing without anybody seeing me? Thanks.

#also #when you finally get that burst of motivation and try yo start doing shit #but then somebody gotta go and tell you to do other stuff #and you don't wanna tell them that you can't you have stuff to do because you don't wanna get nagged #and then just end up feeling crummy because you KNEW you had the time #yet you wasted it doing absolutely NOTHING #not even stuff youve been meaning to do for fun #fucking sucks #this got very personal very fast #but what is this site for if not for venting where nobody irl will connect that its me #vent #venting #mini rant #i procrastinate a lot #procrastination #residual anxiety from not doi g the stuff i need to do #smaller anxiety over not doing the stuff I WANT to do #honestly #what the hell

[acedespades]

Hm, not really a funny post this time, but it's going to be my first year voting, and it must really say something about where I live that my mindset when researching candidates is "Who's gonna rob us less?"

#text post #puerto rico #politics #vote #voting

[acedespades]

After reading a fanfic:

What I write: Amazing story! Really hit me in the feels!

What I am doing while writing that comment: *sobbing uncontrollably*

#text post #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfiction jokes #i always worry that my comments will seem too dry #and that they won't show the genuine reaction I had while reading the story #which in this case #is sobbing on my bed because my fave almost died and tbe dad had to watch it happen #but yeh #ya'll know EXACTLY what I mean

[acedespades]

Back in middle school, before I learned what the terms Aromantic Asexual meant, I just thought everybody else was stupid. Especially in media.

#Aromantic Asexual #Aromantic #asexual #aroace #lgbtq #thoughts #I mean #honestly I still kinda do #every time someone older asks me if I have a partner #I make a very particular face #because its not like I'm trying to be in the closet here guys #i am very open about what I think of getting a romantic or #ugh #sexual partner #people just tend to ignore it #I have tried to come out to my family SO many times #im not even subtle anymore #im pretty sure they think im a lesbian #anyways long story short #i have resigned myself to just.... wait them out. #they'll have to realize eventually #but whatever #at least my friends got me covered #this got a lot more personal than intended #eh #not a lot of people will read it anyways #it's fine

[acedespades]

I am about to say Fuck It and launch myself back into the Voltron fandom, knowing full well the frustration that will surely follow.

[acedespades]

Otros profesores: oh no, no incluyo política en mis discusiones

Mi profesor de ciencia de 70 y pico de años: no es politica si le aplicas el método científico y determinas que son pendejos

□■□■□■□

Translation:

Other professors: oh no, I don't include politics in my lectures

My 70 or so year old science professor: it's not politics if you apply the scientific method and determine they're a dumbass

#shitpost #funny #funny posts #universidad #university #puerto rico #science #scientific method #politics #dissing of politics #i may not like the class all that much #but damn if there aren't a couple of gems in there #spanish #español #bilingual #bilingüe

[acedespades]

When you find yourself going through a deep dive into your country's Wikipedia page (and laughing because it doesn't have the fuckery that happened last year listed) all because you wanted to know how long your country was and how many times you would have to walk through it to reach 1000 miles (about nine times), just to realize it is 4 am and you have a class at 9 am.

This is all because of a would you rather post you saw on pinterest.

#shitpost #4 am ramblings #wikipedia #deep dive #puerto rico #funny #i guess

[acedespades]

I can handle pure angst

I can handle hurt/comfort

I live for the fluff and found family

But as soon as you give me comfort followed by hurt I will s c r e a m .

#fanfiction #fanfic tropes #tropes #hurt/comfort #fluff #angst #found family

[acedespades]

My dramatic ass be laying here at 3 am texting the gc a picture of a marriage phothoshoot where the brides are holding swords all epic looking, and saying "yep, that's how I wanna do it".

#3 am ramblings #shitpost #sword #swords #wedding #pics #texting #Goals #Brides

[acedespades]

Okay okay so its 4 am and I just had a thought;

So, imagine you just struck a deal with a Fae (money, power, life, a good cake, idk whatever) and they ask you for your first born child.

Except

Except you are an Aromantic Asexual with absolutely zero plans to do the do. And hey, who knows, maybe you want to have a kid. But frankly you didn't want to get a partner and go through the process, and adopting a child seems like a better plan.

So you aquire a child and this Fae shows up, like: "Ah, your first born child, gimme"

And you smile with all teeth, because Fae they may be, but you had thought of this loophole a good while ago. So you stand straight, bare your teeth in amockery of a grin and say: "No, you see, this is not my first born child."

#fae #faerie #magic #witch #deals #puns #thoughts #shitpost #asexual #aromantic #lgbtq #aroace #i dont know why but for some reason I imagine the last bit of dialogue happening besides a blimp

[acedespades]

Kids on tv: "Hey friend I just met! Do you want to come over to my house right now when I haven't even asked my mom if you could come over?" "Yea sure, my parents would totally let me pop over to this kid I befriended two hours ago's house, no problem"

Me, a puertorican with puertorican friends: "Okay guys I've known you for literal years, I wanna have you guys come over for a bit to my house. I already asked my mom, she said it was okay. Here is a week minimum warning period so that your parents don't think its too sudden, your parents have my parent's numbers, they can call if they have any questions. There are gonna be snacks even though I know for sure that your parents wouldn't let you leave without eating first, etc."

#puerto rico #puertorriqueno #puertorriqueña #funny #friends #coming over to a friend's house #this isn't even all we have to do

[acedespades]

My goal in life is to own a sword

That is all

Proceed

#a cool looking sword #with engravings and shit #maybe dragons wrapped around the hilt or something #it would be SO COOL #What would you even do with a sword you may ask #and I simply answer #swing it around in my backyard and maybe play an enhanced knife game who knows #sword #funny #funny posts #shitpost

[acedespades]

My mom: "Don't text and drive!!!! Never!!! It's so dangerous, you could D I E !!!"

Also my mom: >Eating an entire Wendy's Fourpack while driving on the highway<

#funny #funny posts #meme #relatable #the hipocrisy of this is just *chef kiss* #no but seriously #wtf mom #Como rayetes hasta maneja comerse eso #like yea #generalmente se come una cosa a la vez #pero todavía me hace temer por mi vida so #driving #texting #eating