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actualtoad · 2 years
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mutuals idk if any of you have read little women but if you ever did which of the sisters was your favorite im so interested
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actualtoad · 2 years
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also guess what my phones autocorrect decided to change west xylophone to
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actualtoad · 2 years
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fun fact about me i have a billie joe poster on my wall and literally nothing else. like i have that and i have a calendar that i don’t use. because my dad got this poster for me for my birthday i think or maybe christmas since im a green day fan. but to be honest i’d definitely prefer like. the american idiot album art of something? i feel very silly having a picture of some guy on my wall even when that some guy is billiards joeseph armstrong it’s still a silly situation. anyway here’s the poster it needs some friends
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#don’t judge my bookshelves i haven’t changed the selection in years and years and years#my older sister has two bookshelves so she gets to have all of our favorite books pretty much#and i just have the ones that didn’t make the cut on hers#and yes the calendar is literally for march. i just never changed it. my little sister helped me set it up though originally#anyway i definitely should get some new posters. making it a goal for the summer#i do have a map of the united states that’s been sitting poised ready to go up on a wall#im just scared of putting tacks in it to hold it up because then my wall will have more tacks in it and it’s a special wall#but i know that’s kind of stupid. so i might put that up soon#i can even put tacks where my friends live that’s what im planning on doing#once im used to the idea of putting tacks in my wall there will definitely be one for each of west xylophone#and it’ll be. pretty rad. so i should do that and then see how much space is even left over#anyway i just think this is so funny. and im spending a whole morning in my room how i don’t usually get to#so it’s just me and billie joe hanging out in here. and it’s just a silly situation#me. my post. mine.#delete later#also im sorry for the clutter on my desk i wasn’t exactly cleaning up for visitors coming over#so there wasn’t a lot of emphasis on it being presentable during the last couple weeks of school#it’s not always like that. it’s just usually like that. and today is not one of the exceptions
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actualtoad · 2 years
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top ten things wrong about summer vacation i don’t have school lunch anymore :(
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actualtoad · 2 years
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actualtoad · 2 years
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My favorite kind of communities are the ones where you get together and try to ruin the lives lf anyone not in your communities, so fuck yeah religion is awesome.
i can’t tell if this is like. genuine or not. if this is a friend of mine then im sorry if im misinterpreting? but like what im trying to say is that belief in a higher power isn’t a ridiculous stance that shows nothing but the failure of human evolution. im not trying to say everybody should be religious and im also literally not religious? im just trying to say that as a form of community religion can be good as long as you’re not being an asshole evangelical which i have SO much experience with for the record. my mom is from a tiny poor village in alaska where random people would show up and try to make them mormon catholic methodist whatever the hell they thought was the best for people who already had a dang culture and didn’t need this stupid white people culture to get formed on top of it. im not looking for anyone to replace other peoples beliefs with their own. im just trying to say that religion isn’t just for stupid evangelical white people. and that more religions exist than just christianity and that people bonding over shared beliefs can be a good thing. not trying to be in support of the church as a corporation? or whatever might be the problem here. i would like to make it clear that i have been personally victimized by religion. just trying to say that it’s not a freak of nature or evolutionary mistake
#anyway if this is a joke or something im sorry#it’s like 9 AM i made the post you’re talking about pretty much immediately after waking up#so just. idk#the thing is i have like ten followers on this blog like literally ten#so whoever this is is probably my friend#im sorry if you misunderstood me and im really not trying to cause problems#just talking about my dumb book while i try to finish it before the school day ends#and ​if you aren’t familiar with my blog it’s literally just me talking to approximately ten people#about random stuff. and not trying to present myself as an authority on anything#however i do just want to say that demonizing religion is. here’s the kicker. it’s bad for marginalized communities#racist white people use demonizing of religion to hate muslims and jews. so we can chill about thinking of the entire construct as harmful#because it’s not. people can do religion badly but not everybody does. so. please acknowledge that#anyway im leaving for my next class in a few. so here i go#but again if you’re my friend im sorry for the misunderstanding or clash of values#delete later#it’s funny how this is the first ask i’ve gotten in like. months probably. aside from friends checking in#im really not a blog blog. if you’re somebody who knows me i have literally ten followers im not an actual blog#if this is the friend i think it might be though. im sorry for the misunderstanding and you can lmk off anon if there’s anything else#like im open to discussion im just bad at doing it publicly. sorry for making you uncomfortable#once again if this is a joke i am so so sorry i just can’t read tone at all. but yeah. almost out of class i’ll see you guys later
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actualtoad · 2 years
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learning about dispositional traits vs characteristic adaptations vs life narratives. no clue how much validity this has but it seems generally true to life. i really like personality science and psychology i just don’t want to go into it. most psychologists i run into are kind of know it all jerks
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actualtoad · 2 years
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ok but i think white people could give their songs about culture a rest
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actualtoad · 2 years
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also my moral psychology book was talking about religion and also sports games and also raves like all on the same wavelength
#the central metaphor of part iii is that humans are 90% primate and 10% bee#so he was like talking about stuff that makes us feel like we’re part of a larger calling#and activating what he called our hive switch. and so that was just really interesting#cause that’s how i feel at concerts like. when i went to green day a couple years ago. that was unparalleled in feeling like i belonged#because everybody’s like. singing along to the same songs the whole bohemian rhapsody was honestly more of a religious experience than#anything that i’ve experienced within actual religion#oh another cool thing about this guy is that he hates those atheists who just hate all religion indiscriminately for being fundamentally#stupid and dumb and whatever whatever whatever. because they’re completely missing the point#and like. unless something really wild happens over the next couple years. no religion can be proven or disproven#but it’s stupid to dismiss any of them as pointless and a flaw of human evolution when they’re an easily accessible type of community#and humans are to some degree eusocial creatures and we kind of need that kind of thing#so anyway. i just thought it was neat. im going to go start getting ready for school now#but just yeah#me. my post. mine.#delete later#also i think it’s stupid to dunk on all organized religion to begin with like even without any scientific grounds for it#but i just like how he debunked the ideas in a scientific way so that people can stop saying oh religion is a freak of nature#i thought it was cool#ok bye
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actualtoad · 2 years
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last day of school starts now….
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actualtoad · 2 years
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question for people who remember the last time they read an abundance of katherines: is it one of those john green books that has dumb inappropriate (for lack of a better word) stuff like all the time for no reason or is it pretty normal? like on a scale of looking for alaska to turtles all the way down how much time is spent on boobs throughout the book
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actualtoad · 2 years
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nosy and boredom hours. can u guys rb in the tags the name of your first crush
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actualtoad · 2 years
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i can’t find sophie’s world :(
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actualtoad · 2 years
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time to break it to you guys that im going to a mother mother concert later this year
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actualtoad · 2 years
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ok but look what my little sister made for my big ones birthday (we all play hollow knight)
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actualtoad · 2 years
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today was such a day (negative, mostly)
#finishing talking in tags because i completely ran out of space#im prioritizing the book because my project is due tomorrow night at 11:59#and the book i have to give back before i leave school. so. higher priority#anyway im just really hurt im not even pissed at anybody for deadnaming or doing the pronoun thing it just makes me really sad#i don’t know. i miss monday when we walked to his car together#today just kind of sucks#you want to know something? the teacher who deadnamed me today is a lesbian#she’s one of the two queer teachers at my school that i know. and she’s the one who deadnamed me#i just want her to understand me and it all makes me really really sad#im just tired and sad and i want a hug and i want any of my supportive adults to be real#mr h is a real supportive adult. he messed up one time and everything is still the same as it was#im just sad!!!! im sad that even the people who care about me don’t think about me how i think about me#and it’s been like this forever and a day irl but i just thought it was maybe getting better and it’s not#tomorrow marks the last day of the first year of me being out at school. and it hasn’t changed anything#im not even arthur with half my teachers. i gave mr h the option to begin with of arthur/artie#and he picked artie which was fine but now it just makes me sad#idk. i decided today that i wouldn’t give any of my teachers thank you notes#but. im changing my mind. i have to. i don’t want to end my year by choosing righteous anger#im really truly not angry and i really am only hurt. so holding a grudge would be dumb it’s not helping me#but i just want people to see me for me!!!! and im so tired#thank you guys for existing. i love you so much. i want to go home to a home that doesn’t exist yet#anyway i’ll be fine im just tired and a little sad. i miss my friends i can’t wait for summer#i haven’t been fully online discord in weeks. im giving up on dreading summer#from now on it’s the summer of me and my friends#me. my post. mine.#delete later
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actualtoad · 2 years
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today was such a day (negative, mostly)
#it’s my sisters birthday#she’s been really stressed because of my parents being so actively vehement at each other all week. she’s okay rn though#um#my friend teacher she/herred me like three four times while introducing me to somebody!!!!!!#and then???? my next hour teacher deadnamed me in front of the entire class because she doesn’t understand having multiple names in multiple#classes and yesterday she was bringing up how a different teacher had called me ari and i was like oh huh yeah okay i go by many names#like trying to be funny and vague about it but then today you know what she did? she called me ari-arthur-anya#she called me two school names and my FUCKING deadname because she doesn’t GET IT and im so FREAKING mad at her and she does NOT get a card#im so pissed im so mad at the two teachers that i thought were probably the most accepting teachers that i’ve ever KNOWN and now here they#BOTH of them on the same day one after another an hour apart!!!! im so pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i know that mr hidaka didn’t MEAN it he’s talked to me about gender and stuff like!!!! i know it’s not representative of all of him but#it just hurts really bad that people who i know and love who are SO important to my feeling even a little safe at school#it hurts really bad knowing that they don’t even think of me as myself. that mr h can just forget to use my pronouns makes me want to cry#im so tired of it being something that people have to remember to do. im so tired of this other everything being the default#i need a fucking beard or something i guess. give me some time please!!!! i want to be a teenage boy please!!!!!!!! im so tired!!!!#i had a good morning with mr hidaka mostly like. basically i skipped my first hour class i couldn’t do it today i didn’t want to be there#and i couldn’t do it. so i went to his room how i do. and i said can i stay here. and he said of course i could but i would get marked#absent from my first hour but as long as i was okay with that i could stay. and so i did and i was working on stuff. and then#another teacher showed up. and okay something you guys for sure don’t know about my friend teacher is that he’s a frisbee coach at my school#like he’s in charge of the ultimate frisbee team shdhdf. he’s really into it it’s not really a sport feeling thing but it seems like fun#so anyway the other teacher was like hey (hidaka first name) me and some guys from the team are gonna go throw some frisbees do you want to#and mr h was like. yeah sure!! and he gave me the option between i could stay if i wanted but i could come with too and i said i’d come with#but i cant do frisbee. so it turned out to be the kids from the team and the other coach were doing fancy stuff together and me and mr h#just played some catch and he showed me how to do it and it was really fun and nice and it was really good#so it sucked when then the other teacher was like. so who’s this lovely person anyway? (exact words he said)#and my friend teacher mr hidaka said oh she skipped her first hour so shes here with me#and that hurt my stupid feelings pretty bad!!!!!!! i didn’t say anything though#and then the rest of the day happened. and now im home#all i have left for the rest of the school year is just my chemistry final so im not doing homework tonight#im still making finishing his book into a high priority it’s higher than the project
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