adhd-space

[adhd-space]

Some days are just shit my dudes.

Made the 4.2 mile bike ride to work just fine. Work my 8 hour shift just fine.

Go to start riding the bike....

Back tire is flatter than my ass.

Start the 4.2 mile walk home in 80+ temperature.

Gets home about 9:30 right as the sun starts to set.

#not adhd related #im tired #like really tired #that was a long walk #my feet hurt so bad

[adhd-space]

Man I don't know if it's an adhd thing or a pandemic thing but I feel this so much

2020 be like, is it saturday tomorrow or is it june

#adhd humor #time blindness

[adhd-space]

So I know that what I'm about to talk about involves some probably unhealthy habits but I am trying to work on it.

With the way I was raised money is a weird thing for me, because at times my family was poor, not that my mother ever let us feel that way and I'm so grateful for it when I was younger. So now I worry about buying things I need like new shoes or glasses, but my adhd makes it so easy to overspend on things that aren't directly a necessity.

I don't know if other people do this but when I get paid, I essentially pay myself. Now what this means is that I will give myself a certain amount of money to play with. The rest goes to things like my phone and internet bill or even rent if it's the second pay day of the month.

As of right now this system seems to work fairly well with me, it keeps my impulsive spending money so I feel better urges down and better managed. I've been basically doing this since my first job.

Like I said I've been working on the impulse buying and trying to gear it to things like clothes or stuff I can actually use. Some times I will still buy movies and junk food but I'm working on it.

My mom when I tell her about stuff I buy gets worried occasionally but shes my mom that what she does. So then I'll sit down and explain to her about what I've bought and what the rest of my money will go to and I'll remind her that I have set days for when somethings get paid. Sometimes I will have to say that I am being responsible and remind her that I know what I'm doing but it's not very often.

#actually adhd #adhd #adhd culture #adhd adult #adult adhd #adhd and money #money

[adhd-space]

Sometimes I get so frustrated by people. All my life I was told that I shouldn't let things that happened to me, effect how I live. I wasn't allowed to have issues.

And now I live with a women who let's every little thing that happened to her, dictate how she lives and then gets pissy and passive aggressive when you do something she doesn't like or approve of.

It's not fucking fair. And my mom is trying to help but still tells me that I have to be the better person and I'm fucking tired of being the better person and letting people run me over.

If I could have my own place and do everything on my own I would. But I can't and I'm doing the best I can to get myself into a better place in life. I don't understand why my best isn't enough. And its wrecking me inside trying to deal with all of this.

#adult adhd #adhd adult #not adhd related #but still important #rant post

[adhd-space]

So this is probably just me but ever since I turned 18 (almost 23 now) I now enjoy laundry? Like going to the laundry mat and doing my own laundry with my own detergent and fabric softener. And then folding it all once I'm done drying it? There's something kinda soothing about it even if my laundry mat can be kinda loud sometimes.

Also now that I have my own job again, I get to chose what scents and detergents I get to use. So if I want the slightly more expensive plant based stuff that comes in recycled plastic then I can. And if I want all my stuff to come from the same brand, I can.

It just feels nice knowing I can do these things now. Of course that's not to say that my mother didn't let us kids have a bit of a choice when we were younger but it's nice that these decisions are now mine to make. Makes me feel more put together.

Not to mention the scents I chose are also very soothing to me.

#actually adhd #adhd #adhd adult #adult adhd #laundry #detergent #my own choices #i feel a little silly #😊

[adhd-space]

I bought two more blankets since this post making three blankets in total. I had to get rid of some of my blankets when I moved back in February and all the ones I kept were put into storage. The only blanket I took with me was my weighted one.

Even though I've had my weighed blanket for almost 4 years I still get the urge to bury myself under heavy comforters and fuzzy blankets. Especially when it snows like it did today.

I swear when I get my own place and make more than minimum wage, my bedroom will be a godamn nest of blankets and pillows with black-out curtains!

Times like these make me feel like a dragon who has chosen to hoard bedding.

#vaguely nomadic dragon #actually adhd #adhd #adhd culture #adhd adult #adult adhd #weighted blanket #blanket hoard

[adhd-space]

Some times I wish I was normal.

I finally had the money to buy a used psp on ebay and so I did. Of course I didn't realize that they were region locked for movies and I only bought one game so far. But that's not a real problem and it's easily solved anyhow.

Now my problem is that my brain is telling that it's a waste. Even though I have wanted a psp since they came out.

It's like everytime I try to give myself something from my childhood that I wasnt able to have, my brain has to be mean and try to sabotage my feelings.

I just want to buy things from my childhood and not feel like a money wasting burden.

#actually adhd #adhd #adhd problems #adhd adult #adhd feelings #adult adhd #psp2000

[adhd-space]

I hate people who feel that life and time are to be measured in what you get done during the day. Time passes whether or not you do something with it. It is pointless to be so worried and consumed by what you get done. At the end of the day you'll eventually die, and will have no more time. Doing things in life will not change that. I don't understand why people act as if doing things in life will somehow make them immortal that just doesn't happen.

[adhd-space]

Is there a name for the feeling I get while sitting on my bed in an oversized hoodie, the old scooby doo cartoon on my tv from the early 2000s, Melanie Martinez in my earphones and soggy cereal in my bowl?

#adhd #adhd culture #unamed feelings #feelings #liminal spaces #liminal space feelings

[adhd-space]

I don't want to come off as mean or as horrible. I really don't.

I just don't understand how she refuses to help herself.

I understand that going to therapy and looking at yourself is a hard thing. I really do, but my aunt has spent her whole trying to make sure that she was never a problem and convincing herself that her habits never hurt anybody up to the point that yes her habits are not healthy and if she's not careful she will kill herself with her hoarding. Don't get me wrong, she's better than she was before but she still won't help herself. And it's so fucking difficult watching her slowly kill herself.

I really fucking wish my aunt would go to therapy. I know its pointless though because anytime someone tells her she should correct her behavior and habits, she pouts like a fucking child and turns it into a pity party and basically tries to make you feel bad for noticing her shitty behavior

[adhd-space]

I really fucking wish my aunt would go to therapy. I know its pointless though because anytime someone tells her she should correct her behavior and habits, she pouts like a fucking child and turns it into a pity party and basically tries to make you feel bad for noticing her shitty behavior

#not adhd related #rant post #ranting

[adhd-space]

I don't get why I have to do things normal people. Like I understand the point but I don't understand why I have to follow through, especially when it makes me uncomfortable.

Like reconnecting with people is hard because I feel like a stranger, even to family members even though I that they still love and miss me.

There is a kid that I babysat in middle school and I adored the fuck out of him. And I still do! But it's been 7 years and he's almost in high school now.

I worry that if I go and see him, I'll disappoint him. I know he asked to see me but I'm afraid that if he sees me as I am now, that I'll disappoint him and it will crush the fuck out of me cause I spent 3 years babysitting this kid.

I loved him and it absolutely sucked when I moved away (even though the first move was only a block away) because that kid cried so much. And after that I didnt see him a whole lot.

Now I'm back and he wants to see me and I don't know what to do.

#actually adhd #adhd adult #adult adhd #babysitting #reconnecting #reconnecting is hard

[adhd-space]

Goblin Wisdom

Let me impart to you all some Goblin Life Advice 

-appreciate simple physical pleasures, like a warm home, soft bed, and a full stomach. life isn’t always easy for goblins, so be mindful of the comforts you have now.

-savor the taste of food, especially meat or fresh bread

-make comfy pillow and blanket nests when it’s cold out

-if possible, sleep or snuggle in piles of your loved ones. Goblins are all about community. plus its basically a form of hoarding

-save things that you could reuse or recycle later

-save and wash plastic food containers (ex coolwhip) -use as tupperware 

-thrift shop. cheap clothes!! usually the smell comes out in the wash. 

-make your room your own space. mark it as your territory. fill it with your hoard. turn your bed into a nest fit for a gobling creche. 

-arrange your life to be comfortable and utilitarian without worrying about what others think of it. if ur depressed and need food, you can grocery shop in ur pjs without showering if that’s all u have the energy for. necessities first! go to ur 8 am without makeup. 

-adorn yourself in all the tacky, fun things you want without worrying about “fashion”

-free yourself from the idea that you need to be attractive to deserve respect and love in this world. 

-free yourself from the idea that you always need to seem to be put together in public. your life is not a performance and you owe nothing to no one

-let yourself ugly laugh in public

#goblins #goblin wisdom #self care #advice #not my post #rebloging

[adhd-space]

Even though I've had my weighed blanket for almost 4 years I still get the urge to bury myself under heavy comforters and fuzzy blankets. Especially when it snows like it did today.

I swear when I get my own place and make more than minimum wage, my bedroom will be a godamn nest of blankets and pillows with black-out curtains!

Times like these make me feel like a dragon who has chosen to hoard bedding.

#vaguely nomadic dragon #actually adhd #adhd #adhd culture #adhd adult #adult adhd #weighted blanket #blanket hoard

[adhd-space]

So I'm a little overloaded tonight but playing the Dark Crystal and being under my weighted blanket is helping. So did the homemade hot chocolate.

[adhd-space]

Probably gonna a sensory overload or meltdown tonight.

My aunt keeps walking into my room to talk and I live in the city now which means so much noise.

I've been here a little over a week and I'm still not fully adjusted to living here yet and I hate it.

#actually adhd #adhd #adhd adult #adhd problems #possibly autistic #adhd sensory #sensory overload

[adhd-space]

#actually adhd #adhd #adhd culture #adhd problems #possibly autistic