adhdmorelikeyaydhd

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

i feel like no one really wants to hear that sleep/exercise/nutrition/hydration are major factors in treating mental health issues bc we’ve all talked to that person who thinks your depression would be cured by one good session of goat yoga or whatever but unfortunately they do help and i’m chronically annoyed about it

#for my brothers in depression

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

Speaking of therapy, I say, as though we're old friends, and you're not a stranger trapped in this metaphorical elevator with me and you can hear the suspension wires starting to fray.

I've been doing a lot of work recently that's focused on imposter syndrome and the feeling that no matter how well or how much I do, I'm not good enough. That I'm somehow tricking everyone into thinking my work is actually good.

Some days it's a minor niggle in my head that I can gentle and soothe with logic and affirmations. Or smother, depending on the mood. Other times it's loud and all-consuming and the mental anguish it causes me is so real I can feel it twitching in my muscles. This desperate fight-or-flight instinct with nowhere to go and nothing to fight but myself.

Anyway, because I'm several types of Mentally Unwell™, I was switching between workshop sheets ahead of next week. Filling in different forms. (Trying to get a good grade in therapy) And I got my "recognize your harmful ADHD coping mechanisms" worksheet mixed in with the "you're not actually lying to people, you just feel like you are because your brain is full of weasels" worksheet, and seeing them side by side made something go topsy turvy in my head, and I just had to sit and breathe for a couple of minutes until the urge to scream passed. Because it clicked, it all suddenly clicked.

The reason the imposter syndrome workshops and therapy sessions aren't sticking was because I do routinely trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Because I'm masking my ADHD for their convenience.

I've always known there was something wrong with me. My neurotypical peers made it abundantly clear I didn't fit in or was failing in some way I couldn't see nor remedy, no matter how hard I tried.

So I compressed myself into a workaholic box of hyper-competence in the hopes they'd stop noticing the flaws and exploit like me instead. And then subsequently lived with the daily fear that if they looked too close, they'd realize I'm a monumental fuck up with enough personal baggage to block the Suez Canal.

If you ever need someone to burn themselves to ashes for your comfort and convenience, I'm your gal.

Or I used to. Until I had a bit of a breakdown, and the rubber band holding my brain together snapped and pinged off into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, the trauma of living like that didn't also fuck off and instead left a gaping maw where my personality ought to be, so now I get to deal with that aftermath.

And it's that aftermath that's affecting the imposter syndrome shit. Because yes, I am hyper-competent and good at what I do-- but it doesn't feel real because that is how I mask.

And the truly frustrating thing is I am good at what I do. I am not pretending. I worked hard to be good at this. It just feels like I'm dicking around because 90% of my personality turns out to be trauma masquerading as humor in a trenchcoat, and having people genuinely like something weird I'm doing is so foreign my brain has decided it's just another form of masking.

I'm pretending to be a good author so people will think I'm a good author, and my brain thinks we are in Danger of being found out. We are in Danger, and writing is Dangerous because then people will know I'm Weird and not whatever palatable version I've presented myself as for their NT sensibilities.

Like the neurotic vampire with a raging praise kink wasn't an obvious giveaway.

Anyway. I got nothing else. Thanks for listening.

I'm going to go be very normal in another room and not stare into the abyss of my own soul for a bit.

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

I have a question for u, do you think it's alright to self diagnose for ADHD specifically (with research)

Because I am self diagnosed for about 3 or 4 years)(my mothers opinion and multiple of my autistic sisters therapists and my mother's) another of my sisters has add (basically ADHD but not the hyper part) and I reckon I have add and ADHD (I've researched and my school therapist has helped) and I'm getting an official diagnosis in winter (for me) this year. Alot of my friends say "your overacting" or "stop trying to be quirky". That had lead me to think that self diagnosing is bad. Sorry for rambling but do u think it's bad to self diagnose??

Heya anon! I don't think it's bad to self diagnose at all. I know plenty of people who self diagnose for a variety of things. Some are waiting for (& desire) an official diagnosis, some are chill with just a self-diagnosis. Both are cool!

Glad to hear your family is supportive though! And I hope your friends will realise they are being very unkind & unhelpful. Best of luck!

#adhdmorelikeyaydhdask #a year without posting she comes back with an ask #a lot of smarter and more eloquent people than me have written wonderful things about selfdiagnosisis #will see if i can find some

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

#this is the best enrichment anyone can ever ask for

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

One of the most helpful things I've learned to do with ADHD is when I need to start a task, I don't think "I need to do this task" I think "I need to do (first step of task)".

I don't tell myself "I need to wash the dishes piling up in the sink." I tell myself "I need to get the scrub brush and turn on the facuet." That's easy, so I do it and bam, I've started the task.

"I need to brush my teeth" -> "I need to get my toothbrush wet and put toothpaste on it."

"I need to write this essay" -> "I need to pull up the assignment guidelines and open a word doc."

"I need to go to the store." -> "I need to put on my shoes."

Tasks are easily overwhelming when you constantly think about them in their entirety, so picking the most immediate part you need to so and only focusing/doing that helps to get you to start it with less anexity & stress.

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

48 Apps for Autistics and ADHDers

Neurodivergent_lou

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

adhd tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:

1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.

2) That thing you think would help you but you haven’t bought/done it yet because you’re technically surviving without it? buy it, you need it. doesn’t matter if people around you might think it’s wasteful or that you’re lazy, you’re not, just do it, trust me.

3) expanding on tip #2, if you’re like me and eggs are your main source of protein because they’re quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there.). Other easy protein includes: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style) and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).

4) spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. for example: the only reason i remember to use sunscreen is because i bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so i get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! there’s a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!

5) if there’s a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as “i don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many” sounds a little stupid huh? but trust your gut, it’s not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.

6) if you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way i start tasks is just by going “ok step 1) stand up-“ and so forth. don’t worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.

7) if you’re halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. all this, “put things away when you’re done with them.” is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out. you can also create faux deadlines like “I gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.” etc.

8) It’s okay to outsource tasks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when they’re first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.

9) if you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, it’s okay. otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) you’ll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks won’t get done at all. doing smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.

10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because that’s where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they weren’t in my line of sight. now that they’re on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go “oh I gotta take those.” and take them.

11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE

12) motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because i remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. it’s okay to lean into those simple “animal-brain” type motivators, you’ll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? neat. you’ll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? fantastic. you’ll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because you’ll take yourself out for boba after? superb. lean-IN to those small motivators, they aren’t stupid or childish, they are VITAL.

13) don’t buy into the cult of “if it’s worth doing, do it properly” it’s guaranteed to set you up for failure. if it’s worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. i put sunscreen on once a day because that’s fucking better than not doing it at all and i sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. if it’s worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.

go forth and prosper!!! xoxo ✌️🩵

#adhd tips #adhd advice

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

*takes your face gently in my hands and looks sincerely into your eyes* listen. your home does not need to look like a showroom. homes are meant to be lived in, and that means a certain amount of mess. it's okay if there is clutter on your desk or if you don't remember the last time you cleaned your oven. mess is morally neutral. but at the same time, you deserve to live in an environment that is safe and comfortable, and that means someone has to clean sometimes. things like mold, spoiled food, and dirty litter boxes are genuine health hazards and need to be dealt with before they make someone sick. think of cleaning less as "my home needs to be completely spotless" and more as "I am an animal and I need a habitat that is free of hazardous material." it's okay. *kisses you on the forehead and tucks you into a blanket*

(and of course it is always acceptable and even good for you to ask someone else to help you with cleaning if it's physically or mentally difficult for you. even if you're paying them to do it.)

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

for someone who’s supposedly hyperactive i sure am one tired fuck

#adhd humor

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

Applying for jobs is a hell designed specifically to torment autistic people. Here is a well-paying task which you know in your heart and soul if they just gave you a desk and left you alone and allowed you to do it you would sit there and be more focused and enthusiastic and excellent at it than anyone else in the building. However, before they allow you to perform the task, you must pass through 3-4 opaque social crucibles where you must wear uncomfortable clothes and make eye contact while everyone expects you to lie, but not too much (no one is ever clear exactly how much lying is expected, “over” honesty is however penalized). You are being judged almost entirely on how well you understand these very specific and unclear rules that no one has explained. None of this has anything to do with your ability to perform the desired task.

#not adhd specific but #probably very helpful #advice #job advice

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

The fact that dishes feel like The Horrors but literally take less than fifteen minutes is a personal insult to me

#not adhd specific but #isnt this a mood

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

come get a fresh batch of wholesome adhd memes besties (sequel to these posts)

#adhd #adhd memes #adhd humor #adhd positivity #my posts #its been more than two years since i posted the last batch damn!! #i hope y'all will like these #the cat one is a bit crunchy but i hope the Vibes will carry through anyways

[adhdmorelikeyaydhd]

i am very tired and decided that there were not enough wholesome adhd memes in my life, so enjoy

#honorary self reblog in preparation for the next batch i made