Dear college bound friends,
Please do not start your essay with “Music has always been a big part of my life.” I get it. It’s the start of every. single, fricken, essay. And I know I probably made the same mistakes when I was writing mine.
A College Admissions Counselor
Can I start it with “dude bro. Music is the bomb digity.” ?
Honestly, you wouldn’t be the first person. I had a student start an essay with “Ball is life” and they got a scholarship so…
I am incredibly curious as to why a college admissions officer has a tumblr
Shouldn’t we be worried that a college admission officer HAS a tumblr??
i’ve been transitioning since 2012 and fell victim to truscum ideology for a few years during that crucial time period as a kid figuring myself out, and now almost ten years later i still struggle with feeling like my validity as a trans person is “threatened” because i like to wear blush and nail polish sometimes or because i think back fondly on doing girly things as a child, even though i now know how elementary and binary this view on gender is.
the kids that are currently getting all of their LGBTQ education from assholes like kalvin will, hopefully, grow up and come to their senses one day like i did, but i fear that they’re going to have the same permanent damage to their self-esteem and confidence in their identity like i have
i really truly hate the online culture that truscum (particularly kalvin garrah) have created because there’s this whole new wave of misguided preteen/young teenage gender-conforming trans boys who think their entire community is being threatened by he/him lesbians (which have been around for decades) or afab trans people who are feminine in the slightest amount
summary: sharing earbuds brought eleanor and chidi closer together (and the lessons about morals did too) (week 28 of my 30 weeks of writing prompts challenge: earbuds)
read on ao3!
You know how you meet some people and you just seem to naturally despise them? That was Eleanor with Chidi. Well, despise is a strong word, but to put it lightly, Eleanor had no clue how Chidi was her soulmate because she could barely spend ten minutes in a room with the constantly panicking nerd, let alone eternity.
Additionally, Chidi was way too kind for Eleanor’s liking and she usually absolutely loathed anybody who was kind because she thought they were faking kindness. However, in Chidi’s case, he seemed genuinely caring, albeit caring and stressed, which infuriated Eleanor and drove her to treat him with a cold but cautious shoulder.
Chidi had good reason to dislike Eleanor too since she dumped the truth onto his shoulders ever since the first day they met and expected him to help her handle it. As a constant worrier, having a major problem never fared with Chidi and on top of that, Chidi thought he was supposed to spend eternity with somebody who would make him happy, not a mess of a human from Arizona.
Admittedly, Chidi was also a little scared of Eleanor because of her lack of fear. She just seemed completely fine with the fact that she belonged in the bad place, wasn’t scared of Chidi turning her in, and verbally attacked everything that somehow inconvenienced her.
So, Chidi and Eleanor obviously had their differences and feelings about each other but Chidi still agreed to teach Eleanor about morals and Eleanor agreed to try to become a better person.
A few weeks into moral lessons, Eleanor already started getting distracted and forgetful. On one particular occasion, Eleanor forgot to come to the lesson on time so while Chidi was waiting for her, he sat on the couch and considered how he landed himself in this situation. As he contemplated his purpose, his eyes landed on the phone Eleanor left on the coffee table. Her earbuds were still plugged into her phone and her music was accessible via phone screen so Chidi decided to just give Eleanor’s music a listen.
He put the earbuds in his ears, pressed play, and listened to Eleanor’s music carefully. Surprisingly, Eleanor’s playlist wasn’t just overplayed pop songs, like Chidi imagined. Some of the songs were extremely touching and emotional, so much so that Chidi was surprised Eleanor would listen to such deep music while others were just fun songs to dance to. He stopped listening after ten songs as he felt like he was intruding on her privacy by listening to her music.
To be honest, Chidi really enjoyed Eleanor’s music so he started listening to it. He made himself a playlist simply titled “E” with the songs he listened to from Eleanor’s phone. Chidi always listened to music with his earbuds, so Eleanor had no idea what he was listening to until she asked him one day.
“What do you even listen to all day? You always have your earbuds in when you’re contemplating the reason for the existence of morals,” Eleanor asked, biting into a chocolate chip cookie Tahani dropped off earlier.
Chidi, a terrible liar, instinctively attempted to lie “Uh, French Rap.”
“Nah, you don’t even speak French. Hand over an earbud, buddy,” Eleanor held out her hand and Chidi sighed in defeat, taking out an earbud so Eleanor could listen.
Eleanor furrowed her eyebrows together when the song transitioned to the next; then she abruptly exclaimed, “I know why this is so familiar! These are from my playlist. Where did you find my playlist?”
“You left your phone on the coffee table and I wanted to listen to your music,” Chidi explained sheepishly, glancing down at his hands as he actively tried to avoid meeting Eleanor’s eyes.
“Nice to know my soulmate looks through my stuff,” Eleanor quips before she shuts up and listens to the music with the Chidi.
The following day, during breakfast, Chidi listened to the playlist with his earbuds and Eleanor purposely sat on his right side so they could share earbuds and listen to music together. Eventually, sharing earbuds became a habit; Eleanor and Chidi would listen to the playlist while sharing earbuds and taking a walk through the town or eating dinner together.
Chidi showed Eleanor his music, explains what songs meant a lot to him and why. He showed her the songs that he listened to when he experienced his first breakup, songs he listened to when he was inspired to write, and songs that he listened to that made him nostalgic. In return, Eleanor showed him the songs that played the clubs she would go to with her friends, songs she enjoyed crying to when she thought about her traumatic childhood, and songs from her favorite TV shows.
During this time, Eleanor and Chidi’s hate for each other starting eroding away and their close bond began to develop. And, even better, moral lessons were easier now that Chidi would make references to song lyrics to explain philosophical theories, which kept Eleanor more interested and helped her understand complex concepts quicker.
The most defining moment in their strengthening relationship was when Chidi made Eleanor a playlist for her birthday. He wrote down Eleanor’s birthday on his calendar so he wouldn’t forget and took three days to carefully craft the perfect playlist. Knowing Eleanor’s traditionally judgemental attitude, Chidi thought she would be critical of his present to her but she actually was so moved by Chidi’s gesture, tears started welling up in her eyes.
Composed of Chidi’s favorite songs and her favorites, Eleanor’s playlist represented everything their relationship represented. Chidi and Eleanor both loved this new playlist dearly and started listening to it together, still sharing earbuds even though they could blast it throughout the house and none of their neighbors would care.
There was something so intimate about sharing earbuds that Chidi and Eleanor couldn’t exactly identify but they knew that by sharing their favorite music with earbuds, they felt more connected than ever.
Man, when I was like 16 I got so sick of being made fun of for being the fat kid that I took an axe down inna woods, chopped down a tree, and started doing log-lifts all the time. I got strong as fuck, but I didn’t lose no weight. I actually got bigger.
Same thing happened when I got into fighting. I got even stronger, and I got *fast*, man, and nimble, like a cat. Still chubby.
Body-building culture is a bunch of crap, my dude. Functional muscle is not necessarily toned or lean. You can be swole as hell and still be heavy. And that’s cool.
Embrace your inner barbarian. And when fatphobic little gym twinks try to body shame you, you should DESTROY THEM with your MIGHTY AXE
Can comfirm, i am Quite Fat ™ but i still hit my punching bag hard enough last week make it touch the ceiling and broke a finger in the process
You know, I train with (martial arts) a bunch of dudes, and a few bodybuilders have showed up over the years.
And every damn one of those huge shredded motherfuckers has the endurance of a fucking newborn puppy. Fifteen minutes into warmups and they’re panting for air like like they’re about to die. I’ve sparred them and every one of them telegraphs their moves about two weeks in advance, and are slower than my dead grandpa because their huge useless muscles get in the damn way.
Now. I also work with a couple of guys who are not weightlifters. They do, however, do very physical jobs and are Big Dudes. Picture this sort of build.
No abs to speak of, a bit of a tummy, and those motherfuckers can pick up one of the weightlifters and throw them.
And they’re fast. Like, unfair fast.
Bodybuilding culture is bullshit. Embrace your status as a giant barbarian and if anyone gives you crap throw them off a mountain.
This is true for all humans, too!
At my heaviest (well over 300lbs) I still ran an 11 minute mile (pre-disability). And even when I was at my most active, and training intensely, I was never hardbodied despite working out full time. Functional muscle for me looks like horse legs and a big muscular butt with a soft tummy and big arms.
I’m built like a Celtic Warrior Goddess and I will never have a flat tummy and toned arms and that is fine by me because I could snap a grown man in half.
Have you seen olympic powerlifters?
This is Sarah Robles, on the USA Olympic Powerlifting team.
Skinny? No. Could pick me up with one arm? Absofuckinglutely.
Sarah Robles was once in an auto accident. She braced her arms against the steering wheel & by main force held it back from smashing her in the chest.
She fought her car & she won.
Holy shit I love her even more.
That would shatter my arms like glass.
Embrace your body the way it is built and designed to last.
Pro tip: if an evangelical stranger approaches you asking to pray for you, there’s inevitably something about you that they see and want to change. [Ex: I attend a very conservative, very religious uni and am clearly tomboyish/lesbiany, and thus am constantly attracting evangelical strangers] If you can’t shake them (usually very difficult), then turn the tactic upon them by asking if they mind you leading the prayer bc “I have a few things on my mind.”
Then talk about whatever it is that’s making them uncomfortable. I ask god to protect all the lgbt+ kids that are lost, isolated or homeless. I mention my non-Christian brothers, sisters, and siblings that have to fight for recognition and respect in a monoreligious nation. I pray for the protection of immigrants and refugees, reminding my evangelical friends that their savoir was once one of that number. You can pray for pregnant mothers to find the resources and abortive care that they need, if they need it, if you’re feeling particularly brave.
This achieves two things: 1) there is no response to this, esp if you wrap it up with “amen, thank you guys so much for doing that with me. I hope y'all have a blessed day” and leave them no room to continue the prayer. But more importantly 2) that group will NEVER bother you again and you will show them, using their own method against them, that their prayer isn’t an act of faith, but of power.
Just thought I’d share bc I know that I used to be accosted by evangelical strangers once a week on my uni campus and never had a good response or ‘out’. This is by far the most effective method of shutting that sort of behavior down real quick.
Jesus could be a passive-aggressive son of a G and this is right out of his playbook.
ask me about the april fools i stole my sister’s bedroom door & it took her 3 days to notice
Hey tell us about the time you stole your sisters bedroom door and how it took her three days to notice.
well for april fools i stole my sister’s bedroom door & it took her 3 days to notice
crazy heavy door. i hid it in the laundry room
i’m like 12, tiny, equipped with a screwdriver. i somehow get the door off the hinges but it’s twice my size and weighs almost as much. it took an afternoon to get it down the staircase & through the hall. i slide it on a bath towel….
when she finally noticed she yelled. mom made me put it back, i had to do the whole process in reverse
Gaudy you’re my goddamm hero
Thanks for the idea
Happy fucking April everyone