ahmedmootaz

[ahmedmootaz]

Did Ayin always hate the abnormalities from the very start or did he just grew to hate them after everything? Or is him fully hating the abnormalities less of a canon thing and more of a fanon interpretation for your fics and the ask?

In Lobotomy Corporation Legacy, Beta, and sometimes even the current final version all seem to hint that he "was charmed by his own creations" so he must have liked the abnormalities at some point, right?

I mean no disrespect but this question has been itching my brain since I saw the other ask.

Dear Anonymous,

Well, that IS a valid point you raise, although it's also of note that Ayin, being the writer of the Script Angela has to preform, is by no means a reliable narrator, and so being charmed by his own creations could be a way of saying he lost his way and was entranced by the power he gained after rising as a Wing.

However, I think that Ayin's hatred for Abnormalities grew after the death and destruction they caused in the Old Laboratory, and only grew more as Abnormalities such as Bloodbath started popping up, constant reminders of his failures and his mistakes that couldn't ever be killed or erased.

I personally interpret Ayin's entrancement with the Abnormalities being near their creation; Abel says that they were secretly arrogant as they discovered Cogito, feeling as if they peered where no one else had peered before, and given how intertwined Cogito is with Abnormalities, it is entirely possible that this is the point where he was somewhat fascinated or liked Abnormalities as heralds of their great successes that would come forward, only for them to become the heinous beasts we know now.

In fact, if I remember correctly, on Day 50, Ayin laments the employees who lose their lives on a daily basis to Abnormalities, and so I don't think he could be considered that fond of Abnormalities, even if he doesn't outright hate them.

Though, of course, it's a matter of personal interpretation, really. Thank you for the fun ask, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #ask #my writing #ayin

[ahmedmootaz]

Since Carmen and Ayin have no character profiles in the artbook like the other characters, here are my headcanons.

Carmen shares Angela's birthday on February 27, because there is something poetic and ironic about Ayin trying to bring Carmen back on her birthday through Angela and ending up giving life and sentience to Angela instead. It also adds a touch of spice and drama too if you think about it like a telenovela and imagine that Carmen died giving birth to Angela on her birthday, now both their birthdays, and Ayin becoming a wreck who can't celebrate Angel's birthday since it keeps reminding him of Carmen.

Ayin is probably such a mess he doesn't even remember his birthday anymore and neither does he even realize he's forgotten it until a year has passed and Hokma asks about when Ayin is celebrating his birthday since everybody else already did. Hokma then gets told that Ayin doesn't celebrate his birthday because he doesn't remember properly or has conflicting information of his birthday.

The Ayin-Spawn/A3/other versions of Ayin all have conflicting memories since they remember when they were 'born' differently, or that they use the dates of when they become self-aware or Ayin became aware they existed in his mind. But all of them linked to some significant date to the Lobotomy Corporation in both the meta and the in-universe sense. He doesn't care about the actual date or celebrating the day a horrible man like himself was born, so he took the easy route and just picked a date significant to his personal history, since he doesn't want to make the others sad or guilty about not celrbrating his birthday and placate their need to know when he was born since Ayin himself would have treated it like any other day.

Possible dates include August 31 (The first trailer for Lobotomy Corporatin back when they were crowdfunding and Project Moon's first name was Moon Project in 2015) or December 16 (Initial release of Lobotomy Corproration in 2016) or April 10 (Official release of Lobotomy Corporation in 2018) or November 19 (Project Moon's official anniversary) or May 05 (The date of the revamped and retranslated version of Lobotomy Corporation in 2020 after getting scammed by the translator in the past and right before the announcement and release of LOR) or maybe some other day entirely. I lean towards Ayin's birthday being PM's anniversary date personally.

Writing this at 3 AM in the morning on my glaringly bright mobile. If I have wrong grammar or spelling or logic, just ignore it

Dear Anonymous,

Honestly, I have to say: Wow! I agree with you on several elements here, especially when it comes to Carmen's birthday being the same as Angela; before LoR was fully released, I didn't quite agree with the idea, but then when I realised Carmen's voice is quite literally simply Angela's voice, I realised they were both very, very similar in a way I hadn't previously considered, and it fits Ayin immensely to give Angela the same birthday as Carmen only to have himself unable to celebrate either as his mind punishes him for what he did to both Carmen and Angela. Another day of suffering for our poor Ayin, sniff.

At least it might lead to more fluffy headcanons of Angela and Carmen having their birthdays together as mother and daughter...?

Also, for Ayin's headcanons, you hit the nail on its head my friend. I doubt Ayin celebrated his birthday even before the whole mess that led to the creation of the Lobotomy Corporation, but I also think Ayin, in a way, is very symbolic for PM, so if I had to choose a date for his birth, I'd definitely put it somewhere within the ranges you gave out.

And please, your grammar and logic was quite good! In fact, I thank you for the very wonderful headcanons, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #ayin #carmen #angela #ask #NOT my writing

[ahmedmootaz]

How does X and Angela, separately and together, will handle the City?

Ignoring major complications of X is just Ayin for not in the know or care about it and Angela’s existence is not illegal for a moment.

Cause, you said X gets used to the City’s violence eventually without the cognitive filter but only because he did start in a safer area. Same goes for Angela kinda in her Library.

Dear astrocourier,

Now that's an interesting question. Given the complications we're ignoring, I feel that the City would influence them beyond repair...a sort of endless haunting, especially when alone.

Alone, Angela will either be picked off by one of the City's inhabitants or become so cynical that she becomes akin to her Librarian of Death self we see in her bad ending. Despite her ability to be violent, she could only ever act within a controlled environment, that being the Script, and even then, she couldn't act to her heart's content; she could only do very specific actions. If she's immediately plunged into the City without the Library, then her vast knowledge can help her, but given that she's vulnerable to being attacked by forces beyond her control, it's likely that if she does survive, she will grow quite vengeful and hateful of the City.

As for X's presence within the City, there's no two ways about it: He either dies immediately or he can make it, somehow. I always thought Ayin could make a good Fixer with his knowledge of the City and his unemotional self, but with X's case, it's more tenuous. Just surviving in the City would take a toll on him, so I wonder if he can make any plans or act on them while needing to survive the day-to-day happenings of the City.

But together? I actually thing Angela and X make quite the dream team, and it's not just because of my tendency to ship them; it's because of the fact that they're quite similar to the Carmen/Ayin duo in the City, only it's a bit reversed, with Angela being the cynical one and X being the more outgoing one, a sort of parallel to their predecessors. With X acting as a punching bag or a speedbump for any enemy who'd try to work with Angela, I think she can make it in the City with her slowed down time perception, especially if X acts as her protector and her personal Fixer while she's the brains of the operation, collecting information, storing it and patching up X when he's too hurt. I think they'd do odd jobs within the City, surviving day-to-day while making a plan to either escape the City or take revenge of it (Angela's preferred options) or to 'do the right thing' and restore the Seed of Light...or maybe find the Sephirahs again while they reflect on their lives within the Corporation.

Someone should write this, because I know if I do, it might be another million-word adventure, ahaha...

Thank you for the fun ask as always, astrocourier! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #manager x #angela

[ahmedmootaz]

On the topic of Limbus Sinners, do you ever find it weird too that Gregor's claw hand in his Base EGO has Malkuth, Gebura, Chesed, Binah and Hokma's symbols on it? Was there ever a connection between him and the Librarians aside from having similar Jewish origins? Or was there ever an explanation why Yesod, Hod, Netzach, Tiphereth and Kether's symbols weren't?

I refuse to believe that PM just stuck on only those specific symbols for aesthetics on Gregor's arm considering how much attention is paid to the details in their world. There has to be a reason but I'm pulling out my hair asking what it all means. Please send help. Or if you can't, send headcanons instead please. I just need a bone to gnaw on in this mystery.

Dear Anonymous,

Well, that's just one of the many mysteries with PM's storytelling, eh? The way they leave us pulling out our teeth and hair, hehe...

Now, I can't claim to be a Limbus expert; I don't seek out every inkling of lore as I did with LC and LoR, although based on my experience with PM's previous works, if we are to apply Occam's razor, then the reason behind the emblems being there is...reused art assets. Yup, believe it or not, I think that this could be one of the main reasons they're there, but at the same time, you have a point, Anon; it would be quite odd if they left reused assets on such an important sprite...

In which case, perhaps it's a call-back? A reference of sorts? I cannot find a link between these particular Sephirahs; Binah and Hokma, I can link them to the Smoke War, which formed an important part of Gregor's life. But Gebura, Malkuth, and Chesed...? What would they have to do with anything? It's a bit convoluted, I must admit, so I cannot say that I have an answer, but either it is something that will be so brilliant when PM eventually reveals what it is, ooooooooooooor...it'll just be another plot hole that PM will leave for us to fill one day, hehehe.

Until next time, Anon, sorry for not being able to give a more detailed answer! Take care, be well, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #limbus company #gregor #ask

[ahmedmootaz]

If Dante IS Ayin/X, it means that:

Ayin/X saying shuckaroonies is now officially canon

Now officially Ayin/X is the equivalent of all the protagonists in the gachaverse

Ayin/X pretended that they can't dance

Ayin/X can understand the distortions like the headchickens

~~It's now officially canon that Ayin and X have self-esteem issues and deflect people being concerned about them and gets maimed several times in-game~~

Oh and now that also means Ayin/X has been traumatized by horse Vergilius and bunny ear Vergilius, cursed knowledge from Ryoshu talking to the Tieqiu Crew Members, and the seeing the mess that was the cooking during Hell's Chicken

Dear Anonymous,

Huh...that is true, isn't it? And in fact, I can believe each and every one of these being true and applicable for Ayin and X...Huh. Talk about a coincidence. Even if Dante being Ayin/X doesn't turn out to be true, I have to say that it doesn't seem that far-fetched, but then again, that's the Ayin-liking part of me that's speaking, hehe.

Thank you for the eye-opening ask, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #limbus company #ask #ayin #manager x

[ahmedmootaz]

If X not being present to balance and calm Ayin down as well as help him make peace with his other selves leads to Ayin fighting himself, would Ayin have ended up killing his other selves or his other selves (Adam) killing him?

And if Ayin or one of his other selves did end up killing one another, what would the consequence be?

Would it mean the person dying goes back into the Light, actually dies and leaves a corpse behind for Angela to find, turns into a book since they're in the Library?

Or if they can't really kill each other, does the person "murdered" just becomes comatose, subsumed into the dominant personality that killed them, or just end up really injured and incapacitated for a time?

Dear Anonymous,

I think X's presence was for the betterment of the A3, actually. Do remember that Ayin is famous for attempting to log out of his mortal coil through self-harm, and if he gets a chance to kill himself three times, well...I'm guessing you can see how this goes. Honestly, Ayin's existence is just one big self-harm warning, heheh.

I'm not sure how Ayin would react when he realises that he can only summon his failed selves as companions without X's presence, and although I'm semi-confident he wouldn't resort to violence as the first option...not before Adam opens his mouth, at least. I think one of the things that would make Ayin really wish to murder them would be the fact that the A3 are all representations of parts of his mind; they're living, breathing proofs of his failures and mistakes, and they've come back to haunt him when he's at his lowest, especially with someone like Adam constantly bragging about his selfish, murderous and insane 'qualities'.

Now, I'm not saying this means he would kill one of the A3, but it's a definitely a large chance. While the A3 outnumber Ayin, it's important to know that their biggest weapon against Ayin, their psychological effect, has been overcome by Ayin, so they cannot push him down as they did in the past, but as for what would happen if they were killed...I think they'd go back into Ayin's mind once more, but the main purpose of TMFoA wouldn't be attained; in TMFoA, Ayin has already overpowered the A3, but he never accepted them; he never found peace with them. If he kills them and they return to his mind, they won't stop being his demons and won't stop haunting him. It won't be impossible for him to attempt to ignore or even bypass their presence and influence, but it will make life a heckuva lot more difficult for him than it would if he accepted them.

You know, Anon, I find it funny that this question was sent so long ago (sorry for replying so late, by the way!), and yet it seems in-line with the series of questions about Ayin's death that I've gotten lately, heh.

Until next time, Anon, thank you for the fun ask! Be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #ayin

[ahmedmootaz]

After seeing you being open to PM crossovers with the Spy X Family ask and the Arcane fanfic, are there any other fandoms/series/franchises that you want to see in a crossover with PM? Also would you be more open to asks of a crossover nature in the future?

Dear Anonymous,

Weeeeeeeeeeeeell...I'm not sure, if I'm telling the truth. While I am willing to listen to other people's crossovers AUs, I'm not very good at making some myself, as I can only really focus on one Fandom at a time when thinking about AUs and headcanons and such, so while I am very open to hearing what everyone else has in mind when it comes to crossover asks and ideas, I cannot promise that I will be able to write some crossovers myself if one were to ask me about them or give a well-informed opinion. Apologies!

Thank you for your question, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask

[ahmedmootaz]

Personally, I quite dislike the Dante = X/Ayin theory, in part because of how what (admittedly little) we've seen of their past self acts completely different from him and also because it would make the world seem a lot smaller, yknow?

But I would very much like to see him again, this time talking through the light in a similar way to Carmen. He's a man who spent so much of his time devoting himself to some else's dream, what would he think of what it's become, of what *she's* become during all this time?

With the knowledge gained through his time as X, as well as his insights towards his own self from the other A's as well as his guilt from his actions, I feel as if he's more poised towards becoming a guiding light to others, an alternative from Carmen's overwhelming acceptance of one's current self. Especially as Dante has shown a lack of self esteem and prioritises others over themselves, I think it would do them some good to have a conversation or two with Ayin. With some of their abilities seemingly having a connection with the light (like how they can tell monsters, distortions and abnormalities apart as well as being able to hear the voices of distortions) I do think it's a possibility in the future of Limbus' story - though farther from where we are now.

In the Divine Comedia, there is a part wherein Dante becomes aligned with God's love, and given how A and C are basically God in the light, I believe that at one point or another wherein their goals may align, fighting together for or against something or other.

Sorry for rambling, but to summarise: I feel as if Ayin as a character is one better suited to act as a guiding hand in Limbus rather than going through it all as another blank slate. His current status as one in the light allows for him to act as more of a mentor, which I believe suits him better.

Dear Anonymous,

Yeah, I agree that bringing Ayin back through the same 'twist' of LC would be a tad lame, which is why I do think it would be a much, much better way to say that he's in the Light, but at the same time, part of me wonders if his character can be done justice like that.

I mean, we knew enough about Carmen to realise that she's definitely changed from her pre-Light self, but I simply don't feel we've gotten enough of Ayin on screen, and given how Carmen gets a lot more spotlight than he ever does and yet so far in Limbus her presence, while tangible for sure, is quite muted...Eh, I dunno. It could be the Ayin fan within me clamouring for him to get something more than the 15 minutes of screen time the PMverse gives him so far.

Although part of me does think he'd interact with Dante one way or another...maybe with him being the 'funny voice only the main character can hear' trope to some extent. After all, we know Carmen's voice in the Light is a lot more...eldritch, in a way, referring to her victims and Abnormalities as 'children' and pushing people to Distort...it would be funny if Ayin was just very normal, snarky, and wholly unsupportive in comparison.

-"And there it goes. Your chance to get a Golden Bough. You lost it to a circus of madmen and a woman old enough to be your granny."

="Listen man I'm trying here okay?!"

-"Yeah, guess what, I also tried in life and it didn't stop people from trying to tear me a new one. Man up and take the scorn like you're meant to."

="I got some Golden Boughs before you showed up and started talking in my head, you know?!"

-"Yes, and now I'm wondering if those were flukes."

="Why are you like this?"

-"Do you want an alphabetical list or a numerical one?"

Hehe, thank you for sharing your thoughts, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #limbus company #my writing #ask #ayin

[ahmedmootaz]

If Ayin loves energy drinks or sodas, X loves hot cocoa or fruit juice, and assuming Abel wasn't allowed to drink alcohol as a coping mechanism, what drinks would be the favorites of Abram, Abel, and Adam?

Dear Anonymous,

Hmm...Good question. Although I admit, I haven't given much thought to the A3's beverages of choice, it can be rather evident from their characters.

When it comes to Abel, we know that he simply doesn't want to move on. He knows he can't go back, but he doesn't want to risk whatever he has left now. He just wants to keep what little gains he has now and play it extremely plain and safe...if we are to translate those motivations into a beverage, my thinking is that he'd choose water. Maybe even bottled water to make sure it's as safe and sanitised as possible, with no possibility of something unexpected happening to him from drinking it. Just a safe drink that cannot disturb the placid life he wishes to lead.

As for Abram, it's quite easy to imagine, isn't it? I think he'd just drink any sort of beverage that renders him unconscious or unaware of his surroundings to escape the pain and regret that swirls within him, so he'd likely just drink anything remotely alcoholic to achieve that goal.

And with Adam...Honestly, I'm not sure what fits a murderous, insane, desperate madman as a drink. I want to say that he'd drink something that tastes awful, though, under the guise of making him more powerful or something along those lines, sooooo...uh...I dunno,a particularly strong-tasting protein shake? I've never had protein shakes, so you'll have to correct me on that.

Thanks you for the fun ask, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #ayin #adam #abram #abel #The gang's all here

[ahmedmootaz]

headcanon submission

Binah loves black tea

Chesed loves coffee

Ayin loves energy drink/soda (partially because drinking Wellcheers can kill you and he wants that and because of his acid battery spaghetti drink)

X loves loves fruit juice or hot cocoa (because 1. has that cozy vibes 2. he's sweet like the drinks 3. he's never seen the sun or the outside world so probably never even seen a fruit or cacao bean in his life or even a supermarket selling powdered versions of them 4. he's the only one with a favorite drink without caffeine)

Dear Anonymous,

While I usually post headcanon submission as they are, I had to stop at your submission just to say: Yes. Bing bang boom, you got 'em all in one go.

As such, I salute you, my good fellow! And, as always, all of the credits go only to YOU, Anon. Thank you for your submission! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #NOT my writing #ask #ayin #manager x

[ahmedmootaz]

Good evening, Ahmed! With the recent influx of Ayin death asks and the potential angst resulting from it, what if instead of Ayin it was X? Maybe while Roland goes to help Ayin X gets sneak attacked... I feel like Ayin would take it slightly better than X would with Ayin (Although it's a bit of a low bar to hurdle). The real problem I can forsee is Ayin getting too dependent on the kids or Ayin going full recluse. What do you think?

Dear hncdhnmfr,

Good evening to you as well! Always a pleasure to see that my absurdly long response times haven't put you off, ahah.

But as for your question...It's a bit cold, but I think that in the event of X dying, while Ayin would be devastated, he could make it...at least for the most part. Ayin always saw X as his lifeline with the rest of the Library, and he did grow dependent on him during the time they spent in the few months prior to AiP's events attempting to better their standing within the Library, but at the end of the day, to Ayin, there's no loss greater than the one he experienced with Carmen's death.

Now, does this mean Ayin won't collapse in despair, begging for X to come back? That he won't cling onto him and ask why it was X that died and not him? That he won't run his admittedly small tearducts dry over the loss of the man who was closest to him ever since he started the Seed of Light?

No, of course not; we subsist on angst here! I can't possibly deprive us of that!

But what I mean by Ayin taking it better, well...I mean that he wouldn't probably Distort. For as much as he'd want to, he wouldn't Distort over X's death, at least without additional factors coming into play here like the kids getting hurt or worse; the scenario isn't new to Ayin, after all, as he was originally planning on letting X return to his mindscape at the end of TMFoA, but it was X who wanted to continue on living, not to mention the ticking timer on X's life. The concept of X dying wasn't one Ayin was wholly unable to imagine, it was just one he loathed to imagine, and one he wouldn't have expected to happen so soon.

The biggest problem with Ayin would be that he'd be very, very willing to recluse himself after the De-Aging Incident is over. He'd blame himself over X's death, over being unable to transmit his memory as well as he should've, and over feeling guilty that the Librarians didn't get to know X as much as he wanted to know them.

But the immediate problem with X's death would be his daughters: Elijah, Kali, and Garion, the three who loved him very, very much...What would their reaction be like? It'd certain put Ayin's to shame, and considering the immense resolve Garion and Kali hold in particular when compared to the other kids, it's not out of the realm of possibility that they'd hear Carmen...Worse, as we saw in Chapter 14, Garion had grown very, very dependent on X, and if it was confirmed as a matter of fact that he died, well...Let's just say she might've seriously considered options of self-harm that even Ayin or Roland might've had difficulty stopping her from going through with.

And as for what would happen when the kids are re-aged into the Librarians...well, even with Roland's vouching for Ayin, X's death will definitely have a lot of regrets floating around, with those who are staunchly anti-Ayin perhaps even blaming Ayin for not doing enough to save X...And perhaps Angela, too, will be a little distraught considering the complicated nature of her feelings around X...overall, while Ayin would fare better than X in such a scenario, it would be sombre regardless...

...But that's what we thrive for as Ayin fans, ey? A sombre tone and rivers of angst, keheheheh~

Thanks for the fun ask, hncdhnmfr! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #ayin #manager x #with a small mention of #angela

[ahmedmootaz]

!!!LC Spoilers Below!!!

There's always been something that's been bugging me regarding X. Is X being a clone actually canon or fanon? There have been many interpretations I've seen floating around but no real final definite answer since we didn't see or mention X again after LC, only Ayin in LOR. Some people say that X has always been an amnesiac Ayin, a few of the older interpretations say that X is just a random schmuck picked off the street who gets overwritten with Ayin's memory, a few people consider X nothing more as an audience surrogate simply meant to be forever blank in personality and identity so we could imagine oursleves as him, and you helped popularize the idea of X being a clone of Ayin. So what is the truth? Is there even a truth? Or is PM just leaving it vague and open-ended on who X truly is?

Dear Anonymous,

Good question! It's always difficult to tell the Fanon from the Canon when LC's story is very blurry in certain respects and when LC hasn't really been in the spotlight for a few years now, heh.

But if you ask me, I think he's a clone; he isn't some random schmuck that was picked off the street for certain, considering the Seed of Light scenario was hand-crafted by Ayin, and even the employees in the main branch were hand-picked by Ayin to not have a big family or a family at all and to not be popular people in order to avoid bringing any attention to their decade-long disappearance from the planet, so I don't think X would be a random schmuck in this otherwise very carefully planned scenario.

I believe the intention PM had with him was for him to be an amnesiac clone of Ayin, and while some people believe he is, in fact, an amnesiac Ayin, the reason I believe he's a clone is because we saw Ayin on Day 50. Unless you believe the man we talked to was an apparition of sorts, then the Ayin we saw on Day 50 was no us, X, and the way he talked about us being different from him made that very clear...at least to me.

At the same time, there's no explicit line, if I remember correctly, that outright says "Oh yeah X is a clone/X is just Ayin without his memories", and this is probably what causes the confusion because, admittedly, all of the theories mentioned above is just us trying to tie up the loose ends PM has left, so the true answer to your question is that PM has left the answer of X's identity vague and ambiguous, but my personal theory as AhmedMootaz is that he's a clone of Ayin with no memories at all who was supposed to become Ayin at the end of the Seed of Light scenario...or at least, a more enlightened version of Ayin.

Thank you for the interesting ask, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #ayin #manager x

[ahmedmootaz]

(Spoilers for the main games of Project Moon)

(Trigger warnings for mentions of death, suicide, self-harm, and other serious mental issues)

For being such a deathseeker, you ever think Ayin uses K Corp serum, TT2 Protocol, and the body replacement insurance technology to get right up close and personal dancing with death without actually dying? Hanging yourself, cutting or stabbing yourself, shooting yourself, overdosing, drowning and other forms of death become non-permanent from those two technologies alone. Sadly, a lot of self-harm comes from a place of using physical pain as an emotional relief and Ayin has tons of emotional baggage equating to tons of physical pain seeking behaviors as a horrible coping mechanism.

Since he's a wing CEO he has the wealth and influence to gain access to them with no problem, maybe even new and upcoming revival technology such as Dante's own singularity, so he can just kill himself and come back to work the next day. Even if there was a general Head taboo against resurrection, I'm sure Ayin can either use his power/wealth/position as a wing CEO to bend the rules like how Dante's powers exploit a loophole. That plus I doubt the Head would be happy to hear their main enery provider collapsing because it became leaderless.

The Head will be disapproving but ultimately permissive of it so long as he pays tax or stays away from outright breaking the rule or offering it to other people. Meanwhile other CEOs will either be wholly disapproving, worried at how Ayin's death could dissolve his company and throw the Wings into another Smoke War or completely supportive and cheering wildly when he kills himself multiple times as they race to either usrup his company or steal Enkephalin and other company resources for easy pickings. Other people who know like Dias are probably concerned and/or confused and probably think Ayin is a masochistic lunatic.

Meanwhile Ayin if allowed to self-harm or kill himself multiple times, starts considering it as a stress relief hobby alongside drinking and just considers it a little quirk or unimportant vice of his. Just like how Alfonso is so eager to collect snuff films of even her own citizens dying for some reason.

Dear Anonymous,

Come on, did you really think I'd see such as ask and go "actually, no, I'm sure Ayin is a responsible man who searches for various self-help methods"? It's Ayin we're talking about, of course I think that he danced with death very, very closely.

In fact...I'm inclined to agree with you here; I'm sure Ayin, reclusive, alone, and suffering from severe PTSD and guilt, likely found solace in...experimenting on how much pain he could inflict on himself, a way to self-flagellate to the extreme, and it's actually what I wanted to hint at when I included his scene with Roland in Chapter 11; Ayin's time likely did a lot of things to him, but most notable among them was that it allowed him to indulge in harming himself to the most extreme lengths, and yet I don't think he'd have actually fully committed and died; the risks associated with that were too grave, and he likely didn't want to find solace in death. He wanted to remain alive and carry the marks of the things he did to himself, so I assume he wouldn't use fully refined K-Corp technology, either; just enough to heal everything he caused to himself, but not enough to remove scarring. A sort of permanent reminder of what he did to himself, which in turn is a reminder of the guilt and repressed emotions he carried within him.

"Oh boy, I can't wait to see Ayin resolve his emotional trauma healthily and without resorting to grievously harming himself!" is not a phrase any Ayin fan has ever used in their life...as evidenced by the piles of Ayin death and torture asks I keep receiving, keheh.

Thank you for the ask, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #ayin #self-harm

[ahmedmootaz]

What even is Distorted Carmen. Is she a ghooost? Is she in a different dimension and the Librarians has to research smth to go through or they figure out when and where does D!Carmen is physical enough to fight?

Dear astrocourier,

Good question! I suppose with how much I reference her, I should've elaborated a little on what I mean by Distorted!Carmen, huh? My bad on that one, heh.

But to be as blunt as possible: Distorted!Carmen, in my opinion, is simply Carmen. It's just...she's Carmen after the ten thousand years she spent as the Bucket...

Now allow me to explain further; I believe that Distorted!Carmen (hereby referred to simply as D!Carmen) is a facet of Carmen, in a way; if you want to compare it to someone we known, I'd say she'd Carmen's Adam. She's not an entirely new person altogether, although she might as well be, considering how detached she is from Carmen, much like how Adam seems like an entirely different person when compared to Ayin, but upon further inspection, we can see that he's a traumatised facet of Ayin that decided to lash out at the world while thinking that he's saving it.

In the same sense, D!Carmen is what Carmen's mind devolved to after thousands of years in the Bucket, unable to communicate with Ayin to let him know that she was alive; forced to be in the abyss that extracted Abnormalities for so long, her mind must've been corrupted or at least influenced by the Cogito, and seeing how unkind and unappreciative the City was to Ayin and her friends after they gave so much for it...She likely shifted her views of wanting people to be selfless, seeing that selflessness made her loved ones suffer and toil so much, instead preferring to have people act selfishly to not suffer so much...

So in short, I believe she's simply a part of Carmen's mind that went rogue after her time submerged in Cogito...a split personality, if you will, and I don't believe she's in another world, she's simply inhabiting the Light in the City now; Carmen was supposed to be the one in the Light helping people, but as you know, the less...stable parts of her mind are the ones holding the reins now.

Thank you for the fun ask, astrocourier! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #carmen

[ahmedmootaz]

*Throws more asks then laughs evilly in the distance*

It was a silly situation in AiP but what does X think about music pre-AiP? Because neutral 1-4 would be playing early in the day and warnings get kick it as the day goes on.

Like some abnormalities play music and people die, so that would give him a negative experience.

Okay haha, that’s mostly my headcanon and would be fun bonding experience with Roland for musical traumas.

Dear astrocourier,

Honestly, I'd think X is very neutral about this whole music thing throughout his entire life at LC. It becomes less of 'music' to him and more 'sound cues that signal something going well or badly'. I don't think he interprets it in the same way as most people do, in the 'artistic' form of music, rather he finds it very mechanical to some degree. With the endless repetitions, he'd likely treat the background music as white noise, or perhaps even just a normal facet of life that he wouldn't consider; what do you mean Warning 1 doesn't play when you spill coffee on the floor?! It doesn't just play in real life?!

With the Abnormalities, I think that they'd definitely leave a lasting impact. Maybe not enough to be traumatic, per se, but I'm sure that he'd snap his neck whenever he hears a music box or an otherwise innocuous tune...

So, in a way, I don't think he'd be as traumatised by music as a whole...but the Warnings? Oh, the Warnings undoubtedly play in every single one of his nightmares. Warning 3 does things to a man, and as X figured out, they're not kind things...not at all...

So yeah, he and Roland have much to discuss with regards to that topic, even if in entirely different ways, ehehe. Thank you for the fun ask, astrocourier! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #manager x #roland

[ahmedmootaz]

Spy X Family asker again!

Spoilers Ahoy!

Or if not the Briah Sephirahs for the Spy X Family dynamic, you can have sub in Roland as Loid Forger, Angelica as Yor Forger complete with Argalia as Yuri Forger, and Angela as Anya Forger.

Roland as the Loid since he's already a great information fixer which isn't too far off from being a undercover spy as well as sharing a goal in trying to earn the trust and infiltrate the circle of a certain someone as well as being given too much work alone and looking really good in a dress

Angelica as Yor since she's as deadly if not deadlier as an assasin than Yor and having a high enough position that she's had the Black Silence color title just Yor has the Thorn Princess assassin title like while also having kinda similar personalities and similar dynamics with Roland before he took off his mask to Yor and Loid's interactions

Argalia as Yuri because they have too many similarities as youngers brothers with an older sister whose name starts with the same letter, same brother-sister complexes, same dislike for their brother-in-law, and similar high powerful positons with titles

Angela as their adoptive child since she IS different from other children but instead of a being a simple telepath, she's a robot now too, maybe even able to book people to learn about them but hiding that fact from Roland and Angelica

Dear Anonymous,

Ah, I do love it when I find headcanons and AUs in my inbox! It makes my job so much easier allows me to peer into possibilities I may have not considered due to my admittedly small amount of Fandoms in which I am involved, thus, it's always a pleasure to see what others have to say with regards to possible AUs and crossovers!

As always, I'll publish this ask mostly untouched for others to see, and all credit goes to you, Anon! Many thanks for your submission! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #spy x family #is this the right tag??? #I hope it is #NOT my writing #ask

[ahmedmootaz]

Continuing off my last ask on Ayin's death

After getting over the logistics on how they'd bring Ayin's corpse home if he did die due to the Sweepers, what would have Roland and X done after coming home?

Obviously the party isn't happening now and the whole cleanup and injury tending would be happening but would funeral preparations be immediately made? Or would Roland turn the kids back into adults behind X's back and then planned the funeral once everyone was back?

Would others even want to hold a funeral immediately or would they try to bring back Ayin first? Would Angela even let them try?

Speaking of funerals, assuming they couldn't bring Ayin back because of a variety of factors. Unable to book him or light him away or heal him with K Corp or T Corp tech. What type of funeral preparations would they make?

Does Ayin even have a will with instructions of how to bury him (i.e. chuck his body into the Outskirts and be done with it since he doesn't think he even deserves a funeral or memorial or being shot out of a cannon or hung up like a pinata on a cieling fan)?

What type of funeral would Ayin get: a burial in the Outskirts, a cremation into an urn and then a columbarium, an internent into a mausoleum, a burial at sea, a shove into a stasis box, or something else entirely?

What type of funeral procession and mourning customs there be: general western customs, general eastern customs, Korea specific customs, Kabbalistic specific customs or none at all/something else entirely?

How would everyone react to finding out Ayin is dead before they could even get full closure or try to patch things up? Especially Hokma, Binah, and Angela?

How badly would X be taking Ayin's death and how would Roland be comforting him knowing he'll have to betray X and make X lose his kids the same day as losing his sort-of-but-not-really brother?

How much more severe will X's depression and thus distortion would be after everyone is back to being adults?

How much of a dramatic fight is it going to be with X going full distortion out of grief especially since he's not just mourning Ayin but also mourning Abram, Abel, Adam, and his kids at the same time?

What type of distortion would X even become? Would he be the equivalent of all the Sephirah meltdowns all at once? Would he become some sort of manager/puppeteer/commander unleashing minions?

What would it take to calm X down? Angela talking him down? Roland giving him a hug? Them beating him up physical therapy style?

How badly is X going to be depressed for after distorting? How would he act after the funeral? Is he going to hurt himself?

Would they put a memorial like a photograph and a small shrine to Ayin after the funeral and X's breakdown?

In any case, this would have been a very bleak ending that would no doubt make a lot of people tear up. And since you are an author eager to lap up people's tears, how are you going to take my questions and make the scenario hurt even more?

Anyway, that is all for my questions AhmedMootaz. Thank you for all the hardwork you put into the fic I've been binging in my downtime. Since you wrote such a long fic, hopefully you're okay too with such a long ask.

(Ask Part 2)

Dear Anonymous,

Welcome back again! It seems we have created a cascade of Ayin death content, heheh. I'm not sure if that means the Ayin fans are very stable, mentally speaking, but this is the PM Fandom; nobody is mentally stable, no matter how much they might want to claim otherwise, heh.

So, this ask...What would happen directly after everyone returns? I think that Roland opts for a quick and unceremonial return to form; X and the kids are all devastated. They're teetering on the brink of breakdown, and while as adults the Librarians would also be grappling with shock, loss, and devastation, at least as adults they'd know what to do. Maybe after some convincing, Roland gets X to help him install the Reverse De-Agers on the kids to try and cheer them up while wiping their tears away, making sure they're unable to see Ayin's corpse before he puts them all to sleep. Maybe he even convinces the kids that this was all a big nightmare that they'd wake up from just as soon as they head to bed, and although some kids like Garion, Kali and Benjamin might be sceptical, they'd likely be desperate enough to try anything, putting the Reverse De-Agers into motion.

Now what happens when they return to adults? Well, I'm sure you can imagine the shock, terror, and devastation that sets in, but my guess is that they'd try bringing Ayin back in whatever capacity they can. Whether by using the Light, City technology like K-Corp's ampoules, or maybe technology found in the Ruins and the Outskirts.

And as for Angela...I think, deep down, she might be the most upset of them, hence why she'd resist burying Ayin for as long as physically possible, covering up her desire as 'wanting to let the Librarians try out everything to their heart's content', but deep down, she's as desperate as they are for something, anything to work. After all, we know Angela's relationship with Ayin is incredibly complex, with a part of her loving him and a very much larger part of her despising him thanks to his actions towards her, but deep down, she always wanted to believe that, maybe, some part of him loved her back. That he didn't just loathe her for no apparent reason whatsoever.

And now, he died trying to protect her. Now, when she knew he loved her so much that he was willing to die for her, he dies for real. And she can't ask him anymore questions. She can't see if he would actually be the man she needs him to be. She can't even call him dad anymore. It's all gone, and she didn't even have the chance to experience it as an adult. She'd really be one of the people who suffer the most from the whiplash of losing Ayin so suddenly...

As for the funeral...I think that Angela might want Ayin's burial site to be in the Library, as a way to have him around if the Library ever needs to move again. Perhaps it's a rash decision in the moment, but I assume she can create a nice, small garden with the threes and grass Ayin loved so much so he could be buried in it. While the other methods you mentioned are probably what Ayin would want for himself considering how much he hates himself and also they're hilarious pffffffffft, I think he would be buried very, very plainly, without a coffin even. Just buried in the dirt while shrouded with a white cloth to not have him touching to dirt directly; I assume it would be Hokma's suggestion, seeing how Ayin loved the grass and greenery while Carmen was alive.

Now, we already said how Angela would feel, but Hokma and Binah...I feel that Hokma would be the most visibly devastated, even if he tries hiding it; Ayin's return must've been an invaluably precious moment for him, as he finally gets to see his mentor and good friend after thinking he was gone forever, and now, actually seeing that he was gone after such a large sacrifice...it would leave him touched, no doubt, especially considering Ayin was not the most open of men; he would rarely, if ever, speak about his emotions or even address their existence, so sacrificing his life for him and the rest of his de-aged 'siblings'...It was the strongest message of care and affection that Ayin could've ever hoped to send. Despite how pained he would be, I imagine Hokma would, eventually, manage to get over the pain as he would be accustomed to it, while Angela will take a lot, lot longer.

And when it comes to Binah...here's the thing: I think she'd almost feel robbed. This isn't the ending she wanted for Ayin; she thought he'd go out in a large blaze of glory accomplishing the grandiose destiny he involuntarily set out to accomplish, but this...this wasn't it. To die protecting them...She'd think it to be pathetic, no doubt, but it's not the ending he deserved. He was her greatest rival, and it's obvious that she respected him. Now that he was gone like that so suddenly and without warning...It would be something of a bitter taste in Binah's mouth, I think, even if she would display no outward reaction at all.

How badly will X take it? I assume X will just straight-up Distort. In AiP, the only reason he didn't was Ayin providing him with a pseudo-family of sorts. There's no reason holding X back now, not when he's feeling so betrayed, and as for the fight...well, I'd assume it'd be one of epic proportions, and the Librarians might even have to consider putting X down if he doesn't stop fighting them; without the Light, it's possible he'd be more than capable of defeating them all with his Distortion, which I assume will be the same as the one seen in AiP, only a lot, lot more vigorous with the Distortion directly enhancing him in order to use him as her weapon of choice against the Library. I'm assuming it'd have to be as dramatic as Roland's fight, at the very, very least, with X getting more and more Distorted as the fight goes on.

Maybe even one of the elements that break X out of his Distortion would be when he accidentally knocks Ayin's corpse over or otherwise disturbs it and realises that what he's doing...this isn't what Ayin would've wanted at all...That is if he's not beyond saving due to the grief and the downpour of emotions he's experiencing.

And if he doesn't die...well, this is going to be a very, very depressed X for the funeral...We're talking unresponsive, quiet, sobbing X. The type us sickos seem to adore and whose tears we slurp for sustenance...delicious...

And, at last, yes, I'd think they'd have to give Ayin a memorial of some sort, with a picture much like the one he had of (what I assume is) Carmen, and perhaps they even put a cactus next to it, hehe.

Still, this isn't the end of the story; with Ayin dead, Carmen, too, may be beyond saving, which means that the only way to stop the Distortion is by killing her, but that...well, that's a whole different ask. And...before you ask, no, I have nothing in mind for what I'd do with that particular scenario, heh.

I thank you for your dedication to the Ayin Death cause, Anon! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'! Thank you for the fun, if depressing, ask!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #ayin #manager x #angela