aishitara

[aishitara]

1st time

2nd time

3rd time

4th time

5th time

last time

screaming, crying, fucking throwing up

#the progression #is astounding

[aishitara]

sweet good gods above and below, give us that destiel kiss. we deserve to see Jensen put his whole pussy into it.

#like misha would too #who are we even kidding #but jensen jacting joices ackles??? #it would be the most magical goddamn kiss ever to grace the screen #GIMME #I WANT IT #destiel #deancas #otp #mine #musing

[aishitara]

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

#♥️

[aishitara]

#rip

[aishitara]

#::chews glass::

[aishitara]

#sigh

[aishitara]

would love to hear more about the “chuck was the one who brainwashed cas and kelly actually” theory, thank you :)

Okay so I'm going to sound like I'm not addressing your question at all at first but just bear with me.

One of the primary reasons that the baby brainwashing incident fascinates me is that Cas's actions are a betrayal of his and Dean's bond on a foundational level. I'm not talking about The Colt or the mixtape (though they're related).

Dean and Cas's relationship as handler and charge was shed and a real, genuine bond bloomed in 4.22, after this exchange:

DEAN Destiny? Don't give me that "holy" crap. Destiny, God's plan... It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People, families -- that's real. And you're gonna watch them all burn? CASTIEL What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam. DEAN You can take your peace... and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in paradise. 

These are the words that convince Cas to rebel. These are the words that dissolve Cas's doubts in doubt, and convince him to follow his convictions instead of act on blind faith. Shortly after this conversation, Cas flies Dean to Chuck, who tells them what they're up to isn't supposed to happen. This becomes a theme of Dean and Cas's relationship.

Together, Dean and Cas do things that aren't supposed to happen—that aren't part of God's plan. They do something Chuck explicitly says isn't supposed to happen in 4.18. They do something that Chuck explicitly says isn't supposed to happen in 4.22. They do something that Chuck explicitly says isn't supposed to happen in 5.22.

Dean and Cas's relationship, at its very core, is built upon the rejection of two things: 1) Destiny and 2) Paradise—and by the end of "The Future", Cas explicitly (in the production draft) embraces destiny and paradise... and that screams Chuck.

This is what Cas says to Kelly right after the devil baby brainwashing at the very end of "The Future". The "Paradise" part doesn't make it to the final cut—just the "future" part... but the Paradise part is implied by the "future" part anyway.

What else happens in "The Future"? Kelly says the line.

It's not supposed to happen this way.

She says the line that Chuck said every time Dean and Cas defied the writing during the first apocalypse by doing something Chuck couldn't or didn't anticipate. Kelly says this after Sam and Dean catch up to Castiel—after Sam and Dean convince Cas to just talk through all of this with them and not jump to the nuclear option of murdering Kelly—to consider an alternative plan where Kelly and Jack's lives are both preserved because Jack is born a regular baby. The moment Cas begins to agree to talk, Kelly says "It's not supposed to happen this way."

Now let's talk about Kelly. Her behavior this entire episode is insane. She begins the episode despairing because giving birth to Jack will kill her. She then tries to kill herself, but Jack won't let her die—and this throws Kelly into a sort of religious fervor—convincing her that Jack is actually good and could revolutionize the world. Her belief in this is so powerful that when Sam and Dean arrive, she immediately rejects the plan they've come up with that will spare her and Jack's lives:

Sam: No, Kelly, if you go with Cass, you die. Your baby dies. Kelly: I go with you, you take away the thing that makes him special.

She sounds nuts. Like. Imagine saying you'd rather you and your baby DIE than have a "normal" baby. Your baby HAS to be a special baby or you'd rather be dead? Uh... ew—and to a point that screams supernatural brainwashing.

Of course—Kelly's actions aren't quite as irrational as they seem because right before Sam and Dean arrived, Kelly was shown something by "Jack". She got Cas to lay his palm on her belly, and "Jack" showed her a vision of the future. After she takes off with Cas in the impala, she says,

When you put your hand on my stomach, I heard him. He spoke to me. He told me that even if it seems scary, if I just went to the gate, if I just followed your plan, that you would make sure he was born.

So even as she's driving herself straight into Cas's plan to kill her and her baby, Kelly believes everything will be fine—because "Jack" showed her the future... and the thing is? She's... not wrong. "Jack" did show her the future. "Jack" showed her a tiny moment that actually does happen at the end of the episode—Cas standing between her and Dagon and saying "You stay away from her".

Why do I keep putting "Jack" in quotes here? Because Jack never displays the ability to see the future after his birth, and yet "Jack" did have this power from the womb... only? Yeah... I'm not so sure. I'm wondering if it was someone else—someone who showed Kelly what they had already written.

I'll also note in 13.01, that Jack doesn't seem to remember... any of this happening—at least not in the same way. In fact, he recalls very little leading up to his birth. The way he describes it, his sole knowledge of the world prior to his birth came from Kelly speaking to him while he was in the womb... but also... not? Because he says he was Kelly?

SAM: How do you speak English? JACK: My mother taught me. SAM: So you talked to her. JACK: I was her. JACK: My mother, she said Castiel, he would keep me safe. She said the world was a dangerous place. That's -- that's why I couldn't be a baby or a child. I... That's why I had to grow up fast. That's why I chose him to be my father. Where is he?

It's all pretty confusing, but something blinks at me here: Jack says Kelly told him Castiel would keep him safe and indicates that he chose Castiel as his father based on Kelly's assessment. However, Kelly told us Jack showed her the future which told her that Castiel would keep Jack safe back in 12.19. These are two contradictory stories. What if a third party sowed both?

Two other little bits:

First:

Kelly: Maybe – maybe everything that I've been through, everything that I still have to go through, is happening for a reason. Maybe it's part of some plan. Castiel: No, it isn't. I used to believe in a plan. I used to believe that I had some mission. But I have been through enough now to know that everyone is just winging it. 

Castiel does a 180 on this by the end of the episode and it screams Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck.

Second:

If you go to the 12.19 production draft (graciously provided to the fandom through @/spnscripthunt) on page 45, you'll see something that never made it to screen—Cas's vision of paradise.

Only—these visions don't seem to come to fruition unlike Kelly's vision of Cas protecting her. The bits with Dean and Castiel's wings don't feel like the future anyway—they... just feel like what Cas wants most desperately at that time—to be a protector and provider who can handle everything on his own—who needs a "win". This is another theme of the episode. Cas stole The Colt in a misguided attempt to protect his family from having to be directly involved in the ruthless murder Cas had determined would be necessary. He didn't believe there was any other choice, and he wanted to spare Sam and Dean the pain of being involved in the dirty work.

Sam: Then – Then why didn't you call us? Cas, we could've helped you. Castiel: I know. I wanted to keep you out of this. I-I was trying to keep you safe. Dean: You're not our babysitter, Cas, okay? That is not your job. And when in our whole lives have we ever been safe?

This probably stings for Cas because he knows they aren't, and he wants them to be—he wants his family to be safe... all without having to discard his conscience by killing Kelly. He wants her to be safe too! The stuff he sees gives him what he wants--Sam and Dean and Kelly happy and safe—Dean thanking him—Cas once more a fully powered angel who doesn't need anybody's help.

But all of this stuff he sees? It's a lie. It's a lie because it never happens, but it's also a lie because destiny is always a lie. Paradise is always a lie. God's plan is just a way to keep them all in line... and Cas is trying to secure paradise for someone who said they'd take the pain and the guilt over someone else's vision of their paradise.

#nice

[aishitara]

pov: you're waiting in line at the cafe behind these two. a third, even taller guy just asked them to grab him an oatmilk vanilla latte and the bearded guy called him fruity but he's had his hip glued to the built guy's ass since they entered the building

#lol where is the lie #destiel #deancas #otp #reblog

[aishitara]

THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

Jensen Ross Ackles made the acting choice to pick up Castiel's trench coat and fold it gently like a flag because he believed that's what Dean would've done.

Jensen Ross Ackles was so pissed about the Destiel conflict and Dean treating Cas so harshly in the so-called divorce arc that he confronted the writer (Bobo) about it. He asked for explanation and toning the conflict down.

Jensen Ross Ackles, when asked about what he was most excited to tackle with his character in the final season of the show, took a time to think about his answer and then WITH ZERO HESITATION said: CAS.

Jensen Ross Ackles called Castiel's goodbye (aka the confession) a pivotal moment for the whole arc of the show.

Jensen Ross Ackles asked a crew member to record the confession ON HIS PHONE because he wanted to have the og, unedited version of the confession.

Jensen Ross Ackles said Dean would've said "I love you too" and then hugged Cas.

Jensen Ross Ackles admitted to the crowd of thousands of fans that Dean's biggest regret was not being able to save Cas.

Jensen Ross Ackles wrote a song about Cas.

#feral #reblog

[aishitara]

according to misha collins castiel's biggest regret was not telling dean that he loved him sooner. and according to jensen ackles dean's biggest regret was not being able to save cas. i'm gonna be sickkkkk.

#never gonna be normal about it #the morning pain

[aishitara]

...When you want your f*ck buddy to become your f*ck husband

(And yes, it is the year 2024 and I am still making sad men comics, sue me)

Please don't repost, but do join me on Patreon or leave me a tip if you like my work, times are tough!

#destiel forever #still on my bullshit #i'll never be done #liz lee #art #fanart #fan art #art boost #reblog

[aishitara]

insane tv show

#that's it that's the whole show

[aishitara]

John tells Sam the mission comes before everything as Dean lies, barely conscious, bleeding in the back seat. Dean's not devastated by this. He's not angry. He's resigned. He braces himself to be a good soldier, because after all isn't that what he's for? A willing sacrifice for the mission.

But then Sam says "no sir, not everything," and glances at his brother in the rear-view mirror. It's the first time someone tells Dean he's more than canon fodder.

Years later, the angels demand that Castiel kill Dean to prove his loyalty, for the greater good. Dean looks into Cas's face and braces himself, like a good soldier. That's what he's for, right? That's what he's always been for. A willing sacrifice for the mission.

But then Cas meets Dean's eyes and says "I can't" and gives up his army to save Dean's life. Once again, Dean is reminded that he matters. That he is not expendable.

#feral feral feral

[aishitara]

The year is 2024. A robot is flirting with Misha Collins and his blue eyes. You are blogging about it on Tumblr. Somewhere in the back, Jensen Ackles is writing his reboot plans on a T-shirt. You hear the faint voice of "I love you, Dean" in your head 24/7. The angel is gay.

#so gay

[aishitara]

I am truly and deeply and genuinely obsessed with the way Jackles talks about Castiel's goodbye. Because objectively he shouldn't be that much affected by it????? Misha? Sure. He played Cas for 12 years. And it was Castiel's final send-off that he fought HARD for. But Jensen????? Why???? After all, it wasn't HIS character's send-off??? and yet. Every time he mentions the confession he does it unprompted. And he speaks about it with so much genuine care and affection. And respect. And pride. HE HAD IT RECORDED ON HIS PHONE!!! and he actually watched the recording. And he mentions Castiel's goodbye whenever asked about difficult scenes to play alongside Dean's death scene??? Like. when asked about the hardest scenes to play he talks about Dean's goodbye obviously BUT ALSO about Castiel's goodbye. He calls it PIVOTAL and BRILLIANT. And its so clear how affected he was by it. Because he "cared deeply" about the character (Cas) and the actor (Misha). This is genuinely so unhinged. Insane man.

#the morning pain

[aishitara]

I made a thing

#THEM

[aishitara]

 Actual spoilers! Long ago, i saved an awesome gifset. Today i had free time, so I made this. I wish this could happen :P 

#😳 #WHAT #where has this been all my life