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allonsyrachel · 7 days
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Sometimes you just need a witch to slap some sense into you with her spell.
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allonsyrachel · 7 days
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I audition for the role of Ophelia.
Ophelia might be 18. She might be 25. We don’t know. We know she’s young and pretty. I’m 27 and fairly pretty. I’m not young.
The director says he won’t cast someone who “looks” older than 25. I know this means he won’t cast someone who looks older than he thinks 25-year-olds look like.
The truth is, your face when you’re 27 is the same face as when you’re 25. The truth is, your face when you’re 25 is usually the same as when you’re 23. It changes sometime in the night when you’re 21.
Your face when you’re 20 is your face when you’re 18 is usually very close to your face when you’re 16. But when you audition for a 16-year-old when you’re 16, you lose the role to someone who’s 25.
You realize that all of those teenagers you watched in movies growing up were adults. They needed to be beautiful. They needed to be desired. Not awkward, growing, acne, baby fat cheeks.
That’s why you never looked like them. You wanted so badly to look like them.
Now 27 is too old for 25 and you spent your life waiting to look old enough to look young until you’re too old to look your age.
I lie. He can’t tell whether I’m 23-25-27 or whatever age at which a woman is disqualified.
I get the role. I meet the actor playing Hamlet. He’s 45. I meet the actress playing Hamlet’s mother, and she’s 30.
God forbid a woman looks like she was born before she gave birth.
Imagine if she looked like a mother.
Would Ophelia like to be a mother?
Would she have to look like one? With stretch marks and tired eyes from late nights nursing her baby?
Would she have to grow up?
Luckily for Ophelia, she drowns before she gets the chance.
Luckily for me, I still look young enough for the audience to care.
Ophelia and I leave behind a perfect corpse. And happily, because who leaves flowers at a grave with crows feet and smiles lines?
The play is a tragedy, so we don’t smile much, anyway. Luckily.
The people will cry because I’m worthy enough to die,
and happy Ophelia will never become too old to play herself.
Ophelia— a somewhat lazy poem I recently found buried in my notes app.
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allonsyrachel · 7 days
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mom, dad… i’m…. RANDOM!! LOL XD
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allonsyrachel · 7 days
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80s advertising radios
Source: Flickr/Joe Haupt
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allonsyrachel · 9 days
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Why do I even bother with a situationship?
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allonsyrachel · 1 month
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ian mckellen directed these movies actually
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allonsyrachel · 1 month
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imagine: you get your memories back after years of amnesia to find out your whole species is dead and earth doesn’t exist anymore. that the only thing left of your culture is your weird ex and his busted honda civic that barely even works that he stole from the government when he was 13. And he’s been taking members of an alien species for trips in his honda civic and they’re all like “woah it’s so cool” and you get upset because it’s NOT COOL it’s a honda civic, the turn signals don’t even work “wow it can go up hills” yeah OF COURSE IT CAN GO UP HILLS EVERY CAR COULD DO THAT. but they’ve never seen a car before so everything it does is the coolest thing ever. And your ex’s only tool is a fucking screwdriver which is somehow also cool to this dumbass alien species even though it’s a fucking screwdriver so you just look like an idiot screaming about how none of this is even cool it’s actually really shitty but your whole planet is gone so you can’t even prove it but also you’ve had a constant drumming sounding in your head since you were 10 slowly driving you insane. I would become evil too.
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allonsyrachel · 1 month
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allonsyrachel · 2 months
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Every social media site expands until it contains screenshots of Tumblr
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allonsyrachel · 2 months
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allonsyrachel · 2 months
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“Effluvia sounds better! I’m sorry that you don’t have poetry in your heart!”
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allonsyrachel · 2 months
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So I found Aaron Bushnell's reddit and went through his comments/posts. That young man was well read and stable as they can be. Nothing in his writings pointed to someone who was "unstable" or "brainwashed".
He held leftist and anarchist ideals. He belong to the ACAB subreddit. He recognized the evil of the US Military even though he himself was a part of it. He hated TERFS and called out fatphobia. He understood the dangers of white supremecy and the evils of capitalism.
He had a cat. He liked the show fleabag and played elden ring.
Apparently in his will he wants to leave any money in his name to palestinian relief funds. He was trying to find a new owner for his cat.
Rest in peace Aaron Bushnell. The world won't forget & we sure as fuck won't let the media paint you out to be some crazy conspiracy theorist who had no idea what he was doing.
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allonsyrachel · 2 months
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allonsyrachel · 2 months
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allonsyrachel · 2 months
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This bitch needs to catch a break.
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allonsyrachel · 2 months
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When you’ve been cooking for long enough, you stop making recipes and start making “shit in a skillet” and “whatever soup”
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allonsyrachel · 2 months
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Silence = Death, Keith Haring, 1988
Acrylic on canvas 108 x 120 in. (274.3 x 304.8 cm)
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