alwaysanxiousrobot

[alwaysanxiousrobot]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[alwaysanxiousrobot]

Lucius Spriggs facial journey

Our Flag Means Death - Season one

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X-Men: First Class (2011) | Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

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how I learned photoshop: I clicked on a lot of things.

[alwaysanxiousrobot]

Isn't Hannibal a bad person though?

I can't think of anything bad he did

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🎶 William Shakespeare and The Quill song🎶

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the thing about edgy serial killer songs is that sometimes they slap sorry

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i spend my days waiting. waiting for the water to boil and my tea to be ready. for spring to come back. for more daylight. the oil in the pan to heat up. a “hey i miss you” or “can you help me out for a second?” or “you want to hang out?” text. for my phone to finish charging. for good news. flowers on the table. the next hug. “hey, you got the job!”. waiting for the sun. to set. to rise. to see both. for summer to be around the corner. a good song. a falling star. a text back. i spend my time waiting to be remembered. i spend my time repeating that tomorrow will be better. tomorrow will be better. i spend my days waiting and waiting and waiting. i spend my days waiting unbearably.

[alwaysanxiousrobot]

the feminine urge to move far away and become a different person

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Lighthouse reunion?

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All this about not getting to see John Lennon on twitter but I think the real tragedy is that Freddie Mercury never had an instagram

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#me interacting with my coworkers

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FELICITY JONES and DIEGO LUNA Behind the scenes of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) -> Special feature: Cassian - The Spy

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FELICITY JONES and DIEGO LUNA Behind the scenes of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) -> Special feature: Jyn - The Rebel

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JYN ERSO APPRECIATION WEEK 2024 [@jynappreciationsquad] Day 2: Stardust

"Stardust," Galen said. "That's what's in her eyes."

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"Felicity... I mean apart from the fact that she's a really great actress, she does make it seem so easy that you forget what she's going through sometimes. And as amazing it is to make Star Wars, it's also very hard. Whenever I was thinking, 'I've got one of the hardest jobs in the world' I'd always stop myself and go 'Actually, Felicity's got the hardest job, carrying a Star Wars movie.'" Director Gareth Edwards on working with Felicity Jones on Rogue One (2016)