amusementofaprincess

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As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.

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Chihuahuas never learn.

I cannot put into words how much like horseshit she looked in this moment

I would say I hope this teaches her a lesson but it definitely will not. None of the other chocolate things she's eaten has taught her

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The littlest defender

(via)

#I don’t know what animal that is #or what its friends are saying #but I love how sweet the humans are being with their tiny friend

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#I’d hire him

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Was at the art museum earlier and i have a new favourite painting

#adorable #art #people peopling

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If I ask nicely will people reblog this and tell me what their most common breakfast is? Not your favorite necessarily, just what you have for breakfast most frequently? 🙏🏽

#a yogurt and a granola bar #or eggo waffles with peanut butter #it’s about 50/50

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Extremely generic, typical isekai anime where the main character is a high school boy who's so good at video games in his day-to-day life, but people don't respect gamers :( so he's a loser :( ...until he ends up isekai'd into a fantasy world that RUNS on video game logic.

Except this main character is a speed runner.

World record holding speed runner.

Elf-woman in the introductory episode shares the long, sad history of her realm at odds with the Demon Lord and his reign. She looks up just as she's about to describe the moment the Demon Lord killed her husband, and main character is... gone.

Several many fields away.

Naked as the day god made him because equipping the intro clothes takes 3 seconds between menu opening and character re-rendering.

The Wall of the Unfathomable, which has sealed these villagers within their own walls for generations unknown, sees its first breach in a millennium as Main Character scales it ass-backwards clipping and ragdolling up its scaffolding by abusing the collision detection logic and its impact on speed reversal.

NPCs launch into speeches which bewilder and confuse even them because they should NOT be saying anything about the deep sacred mana that can defeat the Dark Demon Lord but the fucker standing in front of him in tighty-whiteys with a level 99 helmet and the Hero Sceptor (which he should NOT have yet but) is compelling the NPC for reasons they cannot begin to comprehend.

The Demon Lord is alerted by holographic message from his most trusted underling that some disturbance has just rippled through from Elf Realm and that some portal may have just opened from the human world, which warrants some caution as the prophesied hero is said to--cut off by the MC catapulting past all 18 floors of Demon Tower security using the infinite speed jump glitch and one-shotting the Demon Lord with a single rag-doll spastic thrust through his heart which launches the Demon Lord along with MC into a 500mph spiral into the stratosphere... And somewhere, the end credits play.

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I’m 35 and live in New England.

My dad is still “Daddy” and my mom is “Mommy” or sometimes “Momma”.

I’m not going to stop using the names I’ve used my whole life because some strangers think it’s childish.

I tried calling them just mom and dad and it felt weird so I stopped.

I also hug my parents (my dad lives in Wisconsin, used to live in CA so I rarely see him in person. You bet I’m getting as many hugs in as I can while I’m visiting) tell them I love them and talk to my mom at least 4 times a day if not more. Plus when I moved out part of my requirements for an apartment was no more than 30 mins away from mom since she’s disabled and I wanted to get there fast in an ER. When I moved my apartment was 4 mins from her. She’s moved so now I’m 10 mins away. I like that I’m close in she or my nana (who she moved in with) need me - I’m the only person who lives less than 45 minutes away that answers their phone.

Some people have decent relationships with their parents - which is a good thing.

this is like 100% petty all things considered but i just can’t wait until some of u learn that it is absolutely normal for people of any age to refer to their dads as “daddy” in many parts of the south like it isn’t a red flag there. 60 year old women in my family still refer to their dads as “daddy.” and btw i think anyone should be allowed to call their own fathers whatever they want without someone either making it nasty or being accusatory like don’t you get tired of making ppl uncomfortable for no reason

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#in case you too want hearing loss #dizziness nausea and tinitus #all for the low price of $120

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The straight woman is unsatisfied with straight studio porn. She wants to get off to something in which the actors actually emote and show passion beyond canned moans from the women and, at best, vacant grunts from the men. She turns to gay porn. She knows it's not "for her," but neither was the straight porn, and at least the actors look like they're enjoying themselves. And for a short while she is satiated by Sean Cody et al, but she runs into the same problems she had to begin with. She was not looking at sex but a simulacrum of sex, trapped in Plato's cave. Unsatisfied, she turned to vintage gay porn, harkening to a time when most gay bars still had darkrooms and reliably smelled of piss and Amyl Nitrite. Here was the real thing, in all its animalistic passion. But she still couldn't immerse herself in the fantasy. She wanted the media to engage with her own imagination and meet her half-way, rather than having it spoonfed to her onscreen. She turned to yaoi, with its elongated figures reminiscent of mannerist portraiture, then bara, including hardcore BDSM scenes. But the tactile sensations depicted in the pages didn't do justice to their real life counterparts. She turned deeper into her own imagination, this time reading erotica. No, not the poolside paperbacks sold at Barnes and Noble. The good shit. Why then, was she still not satisfied? She dug deeper, searching for the true meaning of eroticism. She studied the psychoanalysis of Freud, the cultural criticism of Susan Sontag, the feminist poetry of Audre Lorde. She took vacation time and flew to Europe, starting at the caves of Lascaux to explore the human urge to create, then traversed the Camino de Santiago on foot, along the way meeting a 56 year old carpenter from Burgos named Andrés, with whom she had an explosive affair. They both knew it couldn't last, which made them cherish each other's touch all the more. Upon flying home, she gave up. If her search for true eroticism never bore fruit this whole time, why would it now? It would take years before she stumbled upon the answer by pure happenstance: dubstep.

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I was released from the hospital 2 weeks ago and have been staying with my mom and nana.

I can do the stairs to get up to my apartment finally so I am going home tomorrow!

It was supposed to be today but I woke up with a headache and stuffy nose and thought I was dying.

I’ve only been drastically sick for so long I forgot what a mild cold felt like. Or my allergies acting up. Jury is still out about which

I’m leaning towards allergies - I’m on Zyrtec 2x a day for itching and I fell asleep before the 2nd dose last night.

I’m a little worried because the last time I thought I had a basic, non-life threatening illness I had bacteremia, a two week hospital stay, a catheter, a picc line, a drug reaction and NO uti (which is what I thought was wrong).

But so far so not life threatening. Just annoying.

#psoriasis #chronic illness #I don’t want to go anywhere near a hospital #allergies

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i think rice with things on it & also some sort of sauce is like basically the best food genre tbh

#same with potatoes #starchy things with stuff is the best food combo

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She'll fuck me if I cook good enough I know it

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Realized I have a naked rat and a small piano

Here's Harry banging out the tunes, April 13th 2023

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Sir Terry Pratchett: on writing Good Omens with Neil Gaiman

I love the whole interview but this little snippet most of all:

Terry: “You can usually bet, and I’m sure Neil Gaiman would say the same thing, that, uh, if I go into a bookstore to do a signing and someone presents me with three books, the chances are that one of them is going to be a very battered copy of Good Omens; and it will smell as if it’s been dropped in parsnip soup or something in and it’s gone fluffy and crinkly around the edges and they’ll admit that it’s the fourth copy they’ve bought”.

You can never own enough Good Omens copies.

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Neil!!!

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