dream career: lab assistant to an eccentric and morally dubious victorian scientist who functions as 90% of their self control and struggles with my growing feelings for them conflicting with my dawning horror as i gradually discover the true nature of their experiments
i cant even imagine the temptation of living near a hotspot for paranormal investigators. i would be out there EVERY NIGHT fucking with them. that aint a ghost that made you pee yourself its me, the lich of the woods. gonna lay little traps for ya. gonna shake your tent while you’re sleeping. gonna make spooky noises. walk around in the dark with a cloak and a deer skull mask. hack ur little radios and say fucked up scary stuff. it would occupy all my time and thats why i cant live near one of these places. it would be almost too much fun
I really wanna hang out with and get to know like….older lesbians and bi women for the community and solidarity of it all but it’s like. What do I do. Put up an ad? “Are you gay and over 50? I’d like to imprint on you while we participate in a shared hobby. Please respond by email if you think this is normal.”
at work the other day i was cutting up avocados and one had a tiny seed and i was like to my coworker “me when i have a tiny seed” and she said “i dont know what that means”