if you say that bisexuality means “attraction where gender is a factor” and pansexuality means “attraction regardless of gender” you are actively participating in biphobia and erasure of bisexuality and bisexual history
while the need 2 make cishets understand that sexual orientation or gender identity isnt a choice is certainly, like, present, bc that is a fact that shuld b understood by every1.. that cannot b the basis of political stance. i have an issue w “i was born this way” type arguments abt lgbt rights bc eventually they hit the issue of like.. thats not what its abt. which is a double issue bc 1. the “born this way” narrative has been co-opted by harmful groups as well (see: pedos) bc it doesnt rly base itself on anything moral but just on the idea of “i didnt choose”, n 2. even if being lgbt was a choice that 1 could make, that wouldnt make being lgbt bad.
the core argument 4 lgbt rights n acceptance shuldnt b “we cant help it”, it should b “being lgbt isnt bad n our acceptance shouldnt depend on the idea that we just cannot help it”.
oh also that same “born this way” idea is then used against us, via “hate the sin love the sinner” type of shit: “u cant help being gay… but u can CHOOSE not 2 act on it!”
the core of pro-lgbt stance should b that being lgbt is not wrong. if the core is that it isnt a choice, then every other choice u make 4 ur own happiness can still b considered free 2 restrict
presenting the lack of choice in the matter as the reason being gay isn’t morally wrong also throws bi people under the bus a little… in that bi people could feasibly choose to only date people of the opposite gender (and therefore be “functionally” straight) but can and often do choose to date people of the same gender.
there is no such thing as being attracted to most but not all genders
→ if you like men and women then you also like non-binary people because non-binary people are a big and diverse group of individuals with different gender expressions, (non)alignments and body types. if you claim that you are attracted to men and women but not nb people that’s transphobia baby
→ there is no such thing as “not being attracted to cis men”, you’re either attracted to men or not. claiming that you only like men if they’re trans is 1. incredibly transphobic to trans men 2. implying you can always tell who’s cis and who’s trans which is impossible and you guessed it, also transphobic. you can prefer to not get involved with cis men for various reasons but claiming you’re not attracted to them is something different. you control your choices. you don’t control you attraction.
in conclusion, “being attracted to most but not all genders” stems from either transphobia or a misunderstanding of what a sexual orientation is but it’s definitely not how sexuality actually works
This is by far the greatest way this has been explained, thank you
They’re not even right with the latin meanings tho, because the “bi” doesn’t refer to “two” [genders] but to “both” as in “both same and different”, in parallel to the terms homosexual (”same”) and heterosexual (”different”)
So if anything it’s the term “heterosexual” that’s imprecise cause when ppl say they’re hetero they don’t mean “everything other than my own gender” but “that one combination most common for babymaking”, there are ppl that fir the above description but we’d probably class there as “heteroflexible” already. So perhaps they should be called something like “typicalsexuals” or “dipolesexuals” instead.
It’s kind of how “atheist” in the technical sense only means “no belief in personal deities” (so buddhism or some forms of traditional chinese beliefs or things like neoplatonism that assume only natural-law like“forces” could technically still fit here) but it’s typically used to mean “no supernatural beliefs whatsoever”, it just so happens that the most common supernatural belief in the cultural circle where that term was coined the was that in a personal god.
Now that we’re approaching 20,000 notes I want to share what I’ve learned since this post first gained traction.
It is increasingly apparent that only a select minority of certain communities are willing to listen to this post and accept that bisexuality’s inclusivity and definition are not up for debate, and that this definition and inclusivity are not new to our community.
It is equally difficult to get through to people who have chosen Latin meanings over history, a hypocritical stance they don’t take up with words like gay or lesbian.
I’ve had more people deny this post’s truth than recognize it as history. I’ve spent hours having to reply to people who do not care about bisexuals than I have talking to people this post helped.
This post is not my opinion, it is a collection of sourced quotes. Despite this being stated over and over again, the content of this post is treated as discourse that is original and unique to my blog.
*smacks you over the head with a poorly put-together history textbook I made in crafts* LEARN BISEXUAL HISTORY BEFORE YOU ACT KNOWLEDGABLE
the word “disabled” is not a dirty one
As much as I like the non-binary flag I’d prefer it if people could just remember that the white part of the trans flag represents non-binary people and stop treating people who don’t fit the gender binary as “less tans” than binary trans people
Lots of non-binary people have felt worried about if they’re allowed to call themselves trans, or if they’re “trans enough” to use the trans flag or join in during trans events like trans visibility days without even knowing that the white stripe on the trans flag is for us non-binary/genderqueer/genderfluid/agender/intersex/etc folk.
I feel like it is important that the white stripe is recognised because currently so many people who don’t fit the gender binary feel less valid as trans people than binary trans people.
Lesbians still making posts about how bad it is for bi women to use butch/femme:
We know! We heard u! We’re trying to make our own terms and have them used widespread but we need to get the WORD out for them to be commonplace and that’s hard when literally nobody but bis reblog posts talking about bisexuals lol! It’s not like we all follow each other. At this point the only people trying to take ur terms from you are lesphobes or young bi girls who straight up don’t realize they aren’t generic wlw terms because they haven’t learned the history bc literally no one is out here trying to include and teach bisexual kids shit about their gay lineage, everyone’s too busy trying to push it under the rug.
bi equivalent of femme: doe
bi equivalent of butch: stag
There are more for nb bis and such you can look into but there’s the basics! Look I’ve even designed flags you can find if you scroll through this tag! (i didnt come up with the terms)
So was no one going to tell me- as a bisexual- that we had our own terms that are like Butch and Femme. Or was I supposed to find that out though this post??
I seriously don’t know enough about my own sexuality.
PSA for all the Bi. Y’all people out here spreading education.
PSA for my bi sisters and brothers.
Since OP’s links don’t work:
- Doe: Feminine bi girl
- Stag: Masculine bi girl
- Tomcat: Androgynous bi girl
- Mage: Feminine bi boy
- Knight: Masculine bi boy
- Druid: Androgynous bi boy
- Dove: Feminine nb bi
- Crow: Masculine nb bi
- Pigeon: Androgynous nb bi
I’m a stag??
Holy shit I love these terms
Somewhere in the middle of doe and tomcat
Cute as it is,
THIS IS BULLSHIT.
Not the terms themselves, use those by all means if you like them, but DO NOT LET BIPHOBES TELL YOU YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE BUTCH AND FEMME. DO NOT TRY TO POLICE YOUR FELLOW BIS FOR USING BUTCH AND FEMME.
Those words were never “lesbian only” the way some lesbians are claiming now. They were popularized in a time when divisions within the queer community were much less rigorously held, if they even existed (and IMO, we were better for it). Bisexuals, pansexuals, gay men, aces, genderqueer folks - butch and femme have been used by all of them, and everyone has a stake in them.
Tumblr lesbian separatists do not get to take ownership of these words just because they say so.
If lesbian separatists want their own special terms, THEY CAN MAKE NEW ONES THEMSELVES, because “butch” and “femme” have not ever been lesbian-specific.
The OP says “At this point the only people trying to take ur terms from you are lesphobes or young bi girls“ and that’s only true if you call the vast majority of LGBT people, including most lesbians, lesbophobic.
and hey, this pride month, consider the trans/queer folk like me who are addicts, and read up on how addiction/alcoholism is so prevalent in the lgbt community, and WHY it isn’t okay that liquor companies sponsor pride parades, etc etc etc
we are at a ridiculously higher risk to become addicts; the healthcare system doesn’t give a damn about us; we’re already shamed so much for being lgbt, adding the stigma of addiction onto it? it’s hard to speak out. listen to those that do and be open for others to as well.
hey hey i hope everybody wrestling with internalized biphobia is treating themselves very kindly and knows how worthy they are to be loved. fighting yourself can be the hardest battle of all and you’re doing so wonderfully. you’re good and you’re beautiful and you are so, so worthy of love.
its really annoying how very transparent transmisogynistic things get labeled as “anti-nonbinary” exclusively (or even get displayed as non binary rep) because people seemingly forget that like, trans women aren’t treated as men or women and you can’t take transphobic media at its word for what its trying to depict
a writer who thinks trans women are genderless freaks is going to say they’re genderless (Mermaid Sisters in Carole and tuesday) , a writer that thinks trans women are just cross dressers will say they’re just cross dressers (chihiro in dangan ronpa)
i would appreciate it if non-trans women would at least consider reblogging this
stop associating the magen david, a thouaands of years old jewish symbol, with the not even a century old state of israel. a gay pride flag with the star of david on it is not representative of the colonialist, imperialist israel, it is representative of lgbt jews and our pride in our intersecting marginalized identities.