annazverina

[annazverina]

2022 Letter to the World

I wondered how long it would be before I started this year’s letter. It’s early May. Last year I think I managed to wait until fall, but this year has already been a whirlwind in both good ways and bad ways. At time of writing, this is shaping up to be one of the best years of my life, personally. I am well aware that for many people, this has been the worst year. I’ll discuss that briefly, but I also want to talk about my personal life and what I’ve learned from everything I’ve experienced. 

This letter will be more positive than last year, which was probably the worst year of my life. I am happy with where I am in life right now, and while I feel like sharing my triumphs, when there’s so much bad stuff going on, feels selfish, I don’t care. Everyone deserves to brag about good things going on once in a while. This year I will discuss war, adulthood, happiness, and love. 

Let’s get the worst thing to happen this year out of the way now, and why it affects me. World War III, even though it’s not officially called that, is underway. As a person who holds Russian and American citizenships, this whole ordeal has conflicted me. I remember the weeks leading up to the first invasion by Russia. I thought to myself, “please, Mother Russia. Don’t do this. It’s not worth it. There’s no point. Just chill.” I knew, deep down, that they would invade anyways. The Russians don’t joke around. 

Let me give some background about myself that the public internet may not know. I was born in Kovrov, Russia in February 2001 and was adopted by my parents nearly six months later. Because I was born in Russia, I am a Russian citizen. I carry an expired passport that requires me to drive three hours to renew. Because both my (adopted) parents are American, I was granted automatic naturalization upon entry to the United States. Even though I carry both passports, Russia does not recognize my dual citizenship, and if I were to travel there, it would have to be on my Russian passport. Regardless, I am a Russian-American, and I am proud to say that I have two passports. 

When the war broke out in late February, it broke my heart. My heart broke for both Ukraine and the Russians having to deal with this against their will. I won’t go into the politics, nor will I say which country I believe should win the war. I have had people tell me to root for Ukraine, and I have also had people tell me that I should support Russia. I’m tired of being told what to believe by both the internet and people in real life. This war could have been avoided. I personally don’t see the point in fighting over… what? To be honest, I have no idea why they’re fighting. 

This war has made me feel ashamed to be Russian. I used to share that I am a Russian-American on my public social media bios. Since the war started, I removed that, and I avoid sharing my true heritage on the internet. I love the Russian culture and their traditions. I don’t love their leaders. I feel a connection with my brothers and sisters not only in Russia, but all over Eastern and Central Europe, and I stand with all of them. 

I turned 21 this year, and I have also taken big steps into adulthood. Turning 21 is a big deal, and while I don’t drink, knowing that I can, and that I no longer have any restrictions is a weird feeling. I’m not a child anymore. While my mother may have trouble accepting the fact that I’m an adult, I haven’t. I still have a long way to go before I am a full-fledged adult. When I graduate from college in a year, get a full time job, and move out, that’s when I’ll really be one. 

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about this, but I entered into my first real, committed relationship in February. With that came new thoughts about my future. 

Mere hours before I met him, I was talking with the friend who introduced us. We talked about relationships and all that, and I mentioned that I was probably never going to get married. My friend wasn’t necessarily looking to set us up together. It just so happened we ran into my future man later that day. It took a while for me to realize I had feelings for him, and we started dating a few months after we met. 

We’ve been together since Valentine’s Day. During that time, he has loved me for who I am. I never thought anybody I liked would find me beautiful, accept my autism, or understand me at all. I am probably the most confident I’ve ever been in my life. My new relationship has given me things in life to look forward to, and that has provided me with happiness.

I read the same news you do. I have my own struggles, like everyone else. It seems like nearly everybody I know is depressed in some form or fashion. However, I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. My job and the people in my life are to thank. 

Last year I started my first band teching job. I’m still doing that, but at a different school (one that isn’t 45 miles away). I’m blessed not only because I can do a job I enjoy, but it’s also a job related to the field I am going into. I could go on about how well I have been treated by my colleagues and the opportunities they’ve given me, but I’ll save you from that. 

Through the difficulties that come with teaching band and being a music major, the people I get to do those things with are my very best friends. This year (and some of last year), I felt accepted by my friends for the first time in my life. They include me in their plans. They don’t leave me behind. They don’t lie or start drama with other people. We just enjoy our time together outside of school. It feels like that is our reward for the hardships we endure during the day. 

Even though society sucks for everyone, we all find reasons to push through… and even be happy. Much of what you see on the news will never affect you. Sure, you can sympathize, but at the end of the day, there is probably nothing you can do. Don’t let those kinds of things ruin your happiness. 

The love I have for the people in my life is stronger than the hate the world tries to push on me. 

I talked about love in 2019, and how there is a difference between conditional and unconditional love. That point remains true, but I’ve discovered that it is way more complicated than that. Apparently there are, like, nine kinds of love. 

Philautia is a love with people that builds you up in a good way, which is new for me. I have several people I see every day at school who fill this hole for me. They’re my family away from home. 

Storge can be with friends or family, and it’s a kind of unconditional love that can be reflected on. That’s something I’ve had my entire life. There are times when we don’t get along, but at the end of the day, I’d take a bullet for them. 

Agape means self-love, putting yourself first once in a while. I feel that for the first time in years. 

Philia… I think I am experiencing that for the first time towards someone. It’s a friendship love in which you can converse in deep conversation. This can also be felt towards family members.

Pragma, Eros, and Ludus are the significant other categories. I think everyone experiences ludus at some point, which is that playful, flirty kind of love - a crush, if you will. Eros is the romantic part of being with a significant other. Pragma is the teamwork part, which my current relationship is growing into. The latter two were firsts for me this year. 

I feel less like a child this year, but I’m okay with that. This year has taught me a lot of good, and I’m ready to grow up. When I was a teenager, I longed to be a kid again. I still sometimes take pleasure in my childhood comforts, like playing my favorite GameCube games or watching SpongeBob. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. But my life doesn’t revolve around wanting to do those things anymore. I enjoy teaching, friends, and looking forward to a future. It sounds boring, but with the way the world is, I kind of want that. 

#2022 #2023 #newyear #reflections #annual #happynewyear #lettertotheworld #beautiful #fandom #okay #love #happiness #war #adulthood #ukraine #russia

[annazverina]

2021 Letter to the World

Last year was considered the worst year ever, right? We can all agree that 2020 was bad? For me, it wasn’t all that bad. Sure, the pandemic screwed up a lot of things, but I was in good spirits, and my mental health remained relatively okay. Reverse that for 2021. Don’t get me wrong, this year wasn’t great for the world either, but I think it was a slight step up from 2020. Just 20 days in, I think a huge weight was lifted off the world’s shoulders. Twitter certainly became a better place, though it is still awful. Meanwhile, it felt like my personal life went to hell. This year’s letter is going to be a bit more personal. A lot happened to me, and with everything I went through, I want to discuss anxiety, climate change, and leadership. Normally I focus on four topics, but one of them is divided into two parts. 

This first topic is very personal, and honestly, it might feel like I’m venting. My mental health was at its worst this year, which was mostly caused by anxiety. I won’t share the circumstances that caused my anxiety, but I will share how they affected me. The main thing that triggered it was an event which I will call the Bad Thing. It happened pretty early into the summer. When it first happened, the anxiety that came with it was typical. It just happened, and I was in shock. However, it didn’t go away. I began to freeze up and panic if I heard any little noise that sounded like the Bad Thing. 

I came up with a solution: wear noise canceling headphones to fall asleep. I’d wake up in the middle of the night to take them off. For a while, that worked, kind of. Falling asleep to ASMR or Bob Ross helped a lot. Unfortunately, things got worse. One night, while asleep, I woke up to the sounds of the Bad Thing. I froze up and waited. There were no extra sounds after it. Nothing actually happened; I was hallucinating. I didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. 

The next day, I mustered up the courage to tell my parents, and my dad gave up his side of my parents’ split king bed so I could sleep without anxiety (I promise, he’s perfectly fine sleeping in the other room). They are aware that I will not be able to sleep in my own room until there’s no chance of a Bad Thing happening again, which will be in the next couple years. Whenever I go home we have this sleeping arrangement, but the occasional daytime anxiety continues. 

I still experience anxiety at home and at school (I partially blame autism), and I adapt the best I can. During the fall semester I had a real, random anxiety/panic attack. I felt like I was dying. My heart sped up, and I felt this odd sensation throughout my body. 

My point is, if you’re having anxiety, TELL SOMEONE. Literally anyone. One person willing to accept and help you can make all the difference. Another thing is to adapt. Pin point where the anxiety is at its worst and brainstorm solutions. 

I get a different kind of anxiety whenever Twitter reminds me of the state of this world. This shouldn’t be controversial, but it is: climate change is real. The sad thing is, I don’t know how much of it to believe. Every day people on Twitter sum up that half the world population will be displaced in 100 years, while other people provide hope. I want to do my part, but recently I’ve been told that doing my part won’t work. I’m told frequently that electric cars are part of the solution, but I’ve also been told that the manufacturing process is horrible for the environment. I’ve also been told the same thing about solar panels. Will I be getting both regardless? Yes. 

The state of Texas froze for an entire week, and there was a record outbreak of tornadoes in December… four months before tornado season. That sounds pretty backwards, right? And natural disasters like that are set to happen again in the next year.

The amount of carbon we are taking from the ground and putting into the atmosphere is absurd. That can’t possibly be good for anyone. There must have been someone during the Industrial Revolution who said, “Maybe putting all that in the air isn’t good for us?” and we did not listen. I’ve heard the “we have trees” argument. Living things breathe out carbon, which the trees take in. However, emissions are putting out more carbon. A lot more. And we’re cutting down too many trees. Anyways…

My point is, we were given this amazing planet to live on and enjoy. Take care of it. 

Switching gears… I took up a lot of leadership roles this year. I became the president of my Greek organization, retained my section leader position for marching band, and became a marching field tech for a high school. Being a section leader was fine. Nothing crazy happened. I love my piccolos to death. 

I wasn’t supposed to be the president of the Greek organization. Another person was elected initially, but they weren’t able to fulfill their duties. We elected a new person, and we were excited to have them in office. We felt like things would stay calm and civil while we got our work done around the music building. Then, that person had to unexpectedly leave due to circumstances out of their control. I took over. 

Leadership is hard when you don’t have enough people below you to do their job. This job in particular is volunteer work that benefits the music building. When something doesn’t get done, I always take the blame because I’m the president. Do you blame the soldiers or the general? 

The job is stressful, and every president, since I started college, has had extra things to worry about. In my case, I’m dealing with a very small chapter, and it’s difficult to get things done with so few people. It’s nobody’s fault, unless you count COVID as a person. 

I promise I’m not calling out my colleagues… If you’re in an organization, especially one that other people rely on, you signed up to do a job. You have to be there to do it. Do your part for the benefit of each other, otherwise other people have to do more work. 

The best thing to happen to me this year was starting my first band job. While I am not a band director, the band I work for treats me like one when I’m able to be there. The directors listen to my suggestions and trust me in teaching their students. It’s a job that feels easier than my other major position because everyone else does what they’re supposed to, for the most part. I also love it. Those kids mean everything to me. Watching them improve is the best part of the job. My boss often says that being a band director is the best job in the world, and he’s right. 

What came from my new position was a new outlook on my career path. I have come to discover that I no longer want to teach a giant band like the high school I went to. I have also gained experience I may not have gotten from other schools. I think the most significant thing I gained was friends. Being respected as a teacher and friend by other people I work with was foreign to me until this year. When I was in high school, all I wanted was to be respected as a future band director, which didn’t come until this year, three years into college. This feeling of having friends is really weird. 

To be honest, I’m not satisfied with the state of this letter. I claimed that last year’s letter was the hardest, but I had no idea what I was talking about. Both 2020 and 2021 had a lot happen, but for some reason the topics for 2020 were easier to think of. When sitting down to write this I had to dig deep into my complicated mind to find things to write about. 

I’m also dissatisfied with 2021. Things did not go as planned in my personal life. From poor grades (compared to my better grades in 2020) to anxiety, I really didn’t do well for myself. I want to end off 2022 feeling more satisfied. I don’t need to feel 100 percent satisfied; no one should (we all have things we can improve on, as minor as they may be). But I want to be happy with things I accomplish next year. You should strive for that too. May 2022 be a year of improvement all around. 

#reflections #2021 #2022 #happy new year #letter #its okay #you're beautiful #fandom #writing #holidays #world #note to self #improvement #satisfaction #leadership #climate change #anxiety

[annazverina]

2020 Letter to the World

In 2015, I began writing annual Letters to the World to reflect on what I learned during the year. I shared my first one publicly in 2018, and since then I discuss certain topics that were relevant during the year and what they taught me. Enjoy.

***

I typically don’t start writing my annual Letter to the World until October or November at the earliest, but this year has already been a huge whirlwind for the entire world. I started writing this in April and edited it until the day it was posted. At that point, we had been in isolation for a month. A few weeks later, yet another revolution sparked within the United States. As soon as the riots and protests started, I knew this would be the hardest letter I’ve ever written. 

This year I will discuss coronavirus, racism, social media, and the importance of face to face communication. 

Around the time I finished writing last year’s letter, a new illness was taking over Wuhan, China. This new, mysterious strain of coronavirus was infecting people left and right. But like any other American, I didn’t worry about it, though I kept track of it on Twitter. I remember the time when there were only 600 cases, and it hadn’t spread outside of Wuhan yet. Man, those were the days. It’s amazing how much the world changed within a month, a week, and a few days. 

A month before isolation, my friends and I drove down to San Antonio for the TMEA convention. Tens of thousands of music educators in the same building. At that same time, San Antonio had its first cases of COVID-19. Less than a month later, SXSW was cancelled. That’s when I realized that this was becoming a big deal. The same day the WHO declared the pandemic, my university announced it was moving to online instruction for what would eventually be the rest 2020. My first day of quarantine was 14 March. I began vlogging occasionally to document the experience. 

I barely left the house during quarantine. For the first five months, the only reasons I left were to go walking, move out of the dorm, or to pick up food. My family took a trip to Colorado right before I left for school, which was our first time eating at a restaurant in 150 days. None of my family or our friends officially tested positive. At school, my roommate did, which led to a two week isolation for me. It really bothered me that those who could stay home weren’t. I get that the United States was founded with freedom in mind (even though we’re not free yet), but I don’t understand why people weren’t willing to give up a little bit of freedom and wear a piece of cloth on their face. Sometimes, you have to give up freedom for the sake of the big picture. I learned that many Americans don’t understand that. The United States shut down too late and reopened too early. Those above us care too much about money. The economy is important, but so are people. Human lives matter, including Black lives.

We all know what happened.

Every January in elementary school, we learned about the Civil Rights Movement. However, they did not mention that racism was still an ongoing problem. They implied that it was a thing of the past. God, I wish it was. I don’t think it ever will be, but the things we can do to eliminate it as much as possible are promoting anti-racism and teaching those who come after us that no matter where someone comes from, they can’t form any opinions about them until they know what’s in their heart. 

That entire week after the murder was very overwhelming. It made me wonder what kind of families racist people grew up in to think that it’s okay to not be good to everyone. I live my life with one thing in mind all the time: be good to myself and others. And I think everyone else, regardless of socioeconomic background, race, religion, whatever, should do the same. And we must teach those who come after to follow those footsteps.

There was never a class in school dedicated to being good citizens. They just yelled at the students doing bad things to stop, but never explained why it was bad, nor did they tell them how to be better. Common human decency is something that should be taught K-12, and I honestly think it’s more important than STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math). We cannot force the students to rely on their parents for something like this, because some parents are uneducated, some are not good people, some suck at parenting, and way too many children in the world don’t even have parents. Schools are the ones that need to teach kids how to be good… all the way through. 

WE MUST BE THE CHANGE. Those currently in power appear to not be doing anything, so those who want change must RISE UP. For us civilians, signing petitions and donating is great, and being good, like I mentioned above, is also something we should do. We must change our behavior for the better. We cannot rely on other people to do stuff for us. We must do it ourselves. Change is not a process that can happen over night. So far it’s taken decades/centuries of work, but someday we will be there. Even if we don’t live to see it, the work we do now will help our future descendants. 

After George Floyd’s murder and the explosion of social media, I was super overwhelmed with everything I was reading. I decided to take the month of June off of Twitter, and man, I’m glad I did. Social media in general is a toxic place to be, and cutting out Twitter and Facebook was healthy for me. In terms of toxicity, Twitter and Facebook, in my opinion, are the worst platforms. On Twitter, it’s hard to control what you see in your feed. Most of the tweets in my feed are from people I don’t follow. They’re tweets I never signed up to see, and they flood my feed with posts that sometimes feel like propaganda. Sometimes I feel like celebrities are worshipped like a deity. I often feel like I’m not allowed to have my own personal beliefs on Twitter, rather I have to conform to what the loudmouthed users believe. If I don’t, I’m racist, misogynistic, homophobic, etc. Facebook is similar, but most of the people I follow are my friends or family, so I can’t unfollow them.

Surprisingly, I like Instagram. Reposting is very uncommon, and posting more than once a day is unofficially considered spam, therefore people have to put all their politics into one single post, which I can scroll past and never see again. You never see posts from people you don’t follow, (except for the occasional advert) and overall I think people use it mostly to share photos of their lives. Most of the flaws that come from Instagram are the people who use it, but it’s easy to avoid them. 

My brother shared some statistics with me recently. Only about 10 percent of Twitter users tweet on a normal basis. About 40 percent of people in the United States have a Twitter account. With that in mind, theoretically, the loud mouthed Twitter users only make up about 4 percent of the U.S. population. Or… something like that. I don’t know how accurate these statistics are, nor do I know where my brother got them from. Regardless, social media does not represent everyone in the world. Not even close.

The nice thing about living in a world of social media is being able to keep in touch with friends and family while quarantined. This whole quarantine process made me ever so grateful for face to face meetings. Some people believe no one will ever want to work again once everything ends. That’s not true. I think most people like working. Being able to leave the house every day and do something, even if it’s something you don’t like, is what keeps us sane. When it came time to return to school, I was initially really mad due to COVID. I ended up being okay with it. My school did a fantastic job at keeping COVID cases down for the entire semester (we only had an average of 20 cases a week, compared to some schools who had hundreds). Not only that, but I was able to see my family away from home again. Even though we wore masks and social distanced most of the time, things felt somewhat normal. 

If you are the kind of person who could care less if you see your friends and coworkers in person, don’t forget that most people don’t feel that way. It’s hard to have group conversations on Zoom. You certainly can’t have a party where multiple conversations happen. Don’t assume everyone feels the same way about something. Let people have their social gatherings when it’s acceptable again, and don’t belittle people who feel different from you.

Everyone must do the right thing… all the time. Even when no one is watching. It’s our job to develop the habit of being good to ourselves and to others regardless. If we do that, we’ll be able to go back to a normal-ish life sooner. Lin-Manuel Miranda called America a “great unfinished symphony” in Hamilton. America, you great unfinished symphony, we still have unfinished business to take care of. The change we need won’t come tomorrow. The amount of work we have before we reach the double bar line will take generations to get to. We cannot allow a repeat sign. We must start today. May 2021 be a year of healing.

#2020 #just reflecting #reflections #fandom #lams #destiel #phan #johnlock #important #healing #beautiful #covid #fuck covid #blacklivesmatter #acceptance #respect #quarantine #zoom #2021

[annazverina]

For those just entering the Hamilton fandom thanks to Disney+

1)Welcome!

2) before you start with the “woke hot takes” about Hamilton, we have already had all of these conversations. Please don’t make us go back.

A) the characters in the musical are far from accurate portrayals of the founding fathers.

B) you can acknowledge that the real historical figure was racist/homophobic/misogynistic etc. And still like the musical

C)the musical is NOT historically accurate. Lin acknowledges it in many interviews and in the Hamiltome (the book about the making of the musical) for example: the Schuylers had more than three daughters, the Hamilton’s has more than two children, Angelica was already married prior to meeting Hamilton, it is more than likely that Hamilton, Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan were never actually in the same place at once... I can go on.

D) if Hamilton the musical has sparked your interest in learning what really happened, that’s good. Don’t let people bully you out of learning because of the catalyst of your interest.

Please. You can romanticize the Broadway characters. You can identify with the Broadway character. But if I see “Thomas Jefferson did nothing wrong uwu” in the tags again, I’m going to lose my shit.

Tl:dr

This:

Does not equal

Okay? Cool.

[annazverina]

It’s been a while.

Howdy, y’all. 

I’ve been... well... I honestly don’t know what to say. I’ve been stuck in quarantine for two and a half months. There is so much I want to say right now, but I can’t. There is nowhere on the internet where I can truly be anonymous. 

No one really uses Tumblr except for fangirls and attention seekers. This post probably won’t be seen by anyone, but here I am writing because there is nowhere else for me to do so. 

I have this amazing idea for a composition that would knock any band nerd’s socks off, but I know nothing about composing parts for instruments I don’t play, and I’ve gotten nowhere with it. I want to work on it and finish it before some famous composer does it first, but I doubt that will happen.

I was supposed to be a part of Eric Whitacre’s sixth virtual choir, but I completely forgot to record myself... actually, I didn’t forget. I just couldn’t find the right time. I don’t like making music when my family are home, especially my mother, who will never give me privacy in my music for as long as I live. 

I write mediocre books. The only book I’ve finished that I think would do really well is a book that antagonizes people in my life, and I won’t be able to release it until I move out, which won’t be until I’m 25 at the earliest, since my mother wants me to live at home for the first year or two after college to save money for a house, even though I don’t need a house. The book I have finished was one I wrote as a freshman, which I rewrote last summer and posted. Meanwhile, I’ve been spending the last two and a half years writing a seven book Harry Potter spoof about band, which won’t be done until 2030 probably. 

I can’t seem to keep up with reading. Last week I started reading again, and even though I’m reading a really good book, I can’t seem to keep up with it. 

Staying healthy has been hard. I haven’t gained any weight; I’m actually a healthy weight. But I have never had muscle mass, and I can’t stop myself from eating without my ADHD meds. Even as a child, when I was still skinny, I was skin and bones. No muscle whatsoever. I’ve asked my parents, repeatedly, to stop buying Pop Tarts, but they keep buying Pop Tarts. When I was at school I made a schedule for the meals I ate. I was only allowed one trip to the local coffee shop a week for pancakes. I could only get kolaches from the place next door once a week. In addition to eating as best I could, I was working out three times a week. I wanted to come home from college having lost a few pounds and my muscles toned. That did not happen. 

My brother has been advising me to exercise every day. I was running every day at the start of quarantine. I did some light exercise at home. Now, I’ve been pigging out and I feel really bad about myself. 

I’ve been procrastinating everything. I wasn’t like this when I was still at school. I was the person I wanted to be at school, and now that I’m stuck at home again, I can’t be that person. 

I hope there’s someone out there who is in the same boat as me. 

#quarantined #covid19 #coronavirus #rona #college #fandom #johnlock #destiel #hannigram #murder husbands #lams #you're okay #you're beautiful #procrastination #school #music #band #book #writing

[annazverina]

2019 Letter to the World

Well, it’s that time of year again. I usually begin writing this annual letter in the fall. I looked at the date, and when I saw it was the 29th of October, I asked myself, “Where the hell did the time go!?” It’s amazing how fast this year (and decade) went by. 

Was 2019 as bad as 2018? In my opinion, no. I think graduating high school, leaving behind the toxic marching band I was in, and starting university in a nicer environment had a lot to do with my year being good. A lot of what I’ve learned this year is from my university experiences. This year I want to discuss love, differences, Boomers, and privilege. Please, do read to the end.

This year, I made one of the best decisions of my life. I joined Kappa Kappa Psi, a band service fraternity. There, I found my family away from home. I’ve only known my Brothers for a few months, but there is already so much I would do for each and every one of them. While going through the process to become a Brother, we discovered the importance of the Brotherhood. There was one day where we, the Membership Candidates, were asked not to talk to the Active Brothers. That day really sucked. I avoided the area in the music building where we would normally collect, and I felt completely alone. It felt like I had just started university again, when I didn’t have anybody to talk to. There was an important lesson we had to learn from that which I shouldn’t share, but it ties into what I’m about to talk about.

My high school British Literature teacher taught us that there are two different types of love: conditional and unconditional. Unconditional love is the love you have for your family. Even if you dislike their decisions, you still love them. Conditional love is what you feel towards your significant other and friends. If someone does the wrong thing, it’s over. Sometimes, your friends are your family. Whilst I was blessed with family to love unconditionally, my Brothers are also people who I love unconditionally. I have discovered this year that life is nothing without unconditional love. I discovered that my new Brothers are people I may or may not be best friends with, but I still love them. Find somebody to love unconditionally who will also love you the same way. Trust me, they exist. I don’t have friends, and I don’t think anyone considers me one. I do, however, have family, and I know I am family to others. That is more important.

During my Membership Candidate process, one of the Active Brothers said something that really caught my attention. 

“If you just focus on your differences, you’ll never get passed the ‘hello.’”

That caught everyone’s attention. 

I suck at defending my beliefs, meanwhile my brother is fantastic at it. If you’re not good at defending your beliefs, don’t discuss them with others. Better yet, even if you’re great at it, still don’t discuss it with others. As of recent, I almost NEVER discuss politics with anybody. Whenever family members bring it up I try to change the subject. All I see on the internet are people being complete assholes to each other when trying to defend their beliefs. Both sides of the political spectrum are guilty of this. Whenever I see one side defend themselves by saying that the other side are nasty towards their side, I laugh. 

In 2018, Stats Britain tweeted regarding the United States’ midterm elections, “100% of Democrats should be voting today.”

“100% of Americans should vote,” I said, with inclusion in mind. 

“The Republicans can stay at home!” they replied to me.

“And I bet the Republicans are saying the same thing about the Democrats!”

You know how they responded? They deleted the thread. I think I won that one. By the way, the Republicans were saying the same thing about Democrats.  

It bothers me when people on the internet are all about inclusion, yet they exclude people who are different from them. Again, both sides are guilty of excluding those who are different. Believe whatever you want to believe, but when it comes time to interact with other humans, keep those beliefs to yourself and just focus on showing common human decency towards each other. Remember back in April when the final season of Game of Thrones started? Remember everyone sharing their excitement with each other? I saw people of all backgrounds coming together, ignoring their differences, to prepare for the finale of an epic show. Why can’t that happen more often? People just enjoying each other without their differences getting in the way? People constantly fighting about what they think is the right answer is exactly why our world is so hateful. Based on all I’ve seen, I don’t think a right answer exists. 

In early November, I saw a new trend on the internet: Ok, Boomer. Basically if anyone said anything “incorrect,” that’s how people would respond to them. My dad was born in 1964, so he’s technically a Boomer, but obviously he identifies with Gen X more, which is what my mother is. 

Here’s a fact: Not every Boomer/Gen X is ignorant, and not every Millennial/Gen Z is correct. I wish we didn’t stereotype like that, but it seems there’s a stereotype for everything. I was born in 2001, therefore I am a Gen Z. My brother was born in 1997, but he identifies with millennials more, despite Gen Z starting around 1995. If the younger and older generations were to combine into one, the world would be fantastic. I’ve noticed that older generations tend to be more ignorant about the changing world. For some reason they don’t want to sit down and learn how to use their iPhone properly. They would rather drive their kids a hundred yards to school than walk with them (and get some steps in). 

My generations need the wisdom of our older generations, and the older generations need the progressiveness of my generations. I don’t know why it’s so hard to not listen to each other’s ideas. 

Given that I go to a pretty liberal school, what has come up a lot in conversation, and in my University Seminar class, is privilege. I wish everybody could have everything they wanted, but they can’t. There are not enough resources for that. I had a lot of privileges growing up. I am white, American, and Texan. I had an intact family, and I always had access to food, shelter, and technology. Those are some of the big things, but there are little things that I believe everyone experiences every day. 

You woke up this morning alive. Being able to see, hear, and walk are privileges, in my opinion. Not everyone can do those things. If you are reading this, it means you are literate and have a device with internet access. Marcus Aurelius once said, “When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.” Humans were blessed with a rational decision maker and the ability to love. We have the ability to ignore our natural human instincts for other people. How awesome is that? 

I hope you can take something from this. I enjoy writing about what I learned during the year and sharing it with whoever will read it. Thank you for reading. Happy New Year! Enjoy the Roaring 2020s!

Have a great whatever time of day it is!

twitter.com/AnnaZverina

instagram.com/AnnaZverina

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youtube.com/AnnaZverina

#happy new year #2020 #new year #new #beautiful #letter #new decade #decade #ten year challenge #fandom #celebrate #you're okay #you're beautiful #happy #smile more #funny #lol #lmao #hashtags #tumblr #hashtags are stupid #how do i even tag this #i got it #i guess #i'll stop #rambling #now #yeet

[annazverina]

Eulogy for my Cat

I wasn’t expecting to lose you this year. Last week, Cole and I agreed that you would live until twenty. Little did we know you were already suffering. I didn’t have many friends growing up. Because of that, it often felt like you were all I had. I could talk to you, and you would just listen. Thank you for that. You were my best friend. You had the prettiest eyes. You were weird. You were fat. You made us laugh. You loved belly rubs. You loved the Glove. You acted like the boss. Chunky, Queen Sheba, my Kitty, Koshka. You have no idea how loved you were. Say hello to Eddie for us, and tell him that we miss him. Someday, all of us will be with you again. For now, hang tight. Thank you for coming into our garage uninvited. That was the best decision you ever made. We love you. We’ll see you on the other side.

#cat #death #rip #koshka #kitty #kitty cat #love #rest in peace #fur baby #fur babies #euthanasia #cancer

[annazverina]

Why Autism Awareness is Important

I sit here in the car, in the middle of nowhere, where there is no reception, as I write this. If you celebrated Thanksgiving on Thursday, I hope you had a good holiday. I’ve had something on my mind for a long time that I wanted to get out. This is kind of a personal rant, and I’m not usually one for using social media to run my mouth. 

I was diagnosed with autism when I was seventeen. Over the last two years I’ve known I’ve had it, I’ve done research and learned that autism is way more common than you think. It’s, like, one in fifty. They’re come to realize that autism varies between each person who has it, which is how they concluded its frequency. Autism was always one in fifty. I’m sorry if you believe a vaccine caused your kid’s autism. It didn’t, but whatever.

When I was in middle school, I met someone with autism for the first time. Along with the other students, I outcasted them. Meanwhile, the other students also outcasted me. I always knew I was different, but I didn’t think autism was the cause of it, even though it was. I wasn’t made aware of autism before meeting that student, and the same went for most of the other students. Had we been made aware of autism before meeting that student, would we have been so mean to them? Why aren’t students made aware of people who are different anyways? I always bullied different people because nobody made me aware of their existence or that that their differences were okay beforehand. 

For something as common as autism, students have to know the signs and know how to treat someone with autism. Unfortunately, most people with autism are not properly taught how to function in society. It’s the job of neurotypicals to teach us when we need to act neurotypical and how. I believe it is important for people with autism to know how to act neurotypical when they need to, and for the neurotypical people to help the people with autism when they are in an uncomfortable situation. If you see someone panicking at a situation people don’t normally panic with, they probably have autism or some other mental disorder, and they need help. Help them. They’re not stupid; they are just in a situation they’ve never been in and don’t know what to do. 

If you have autism, take advantage of available services. Find someone who will teach you when you need to act neurotypical and how. Your autism makes you unique, and you should embrace it, but it’s also important to learn social skills and how to get around in society. Don’t shield yourself from uncomfortable situations. The only way to define your limits is by going beyond them. Your best memories will come from doing new things. 

Have a great whatever time of day it is for y’all! 

#autism #asdawareness #asd #aspergers #you're okay #you're beautiful #autismawareness #thanksgiving #help #fandom #thoughts #from #the #car #random #acceptance #inclusion #kindness #inspire #empower #cultivate #leadership #bully #aspie

[annazverina]

Thoughts Regarding Leaving for College

I am leaving for college (university) tomorrow evening. It's one of those moments I have been thinking about ever since I learned what college was at all.

For my entire life, I have had a voice at the back of my head telling me that something is going to get in the way of what is schedule to happen soon. I dunno if it’s a common thought or if I am one of the very few. I have never had a close enough friend to discuss deep thoughts like that. Now that it’s the night before I leave, that thought has disappeared. College is actually happening now.

My brain has always been very optimistic. Last November, my grandfather died. The day before, he had a heart attack. Even when I knew he was on his death bed, that voice at the back of my mind was still there; something would turn around and he would be alright. Obviously, that did not happen, but having that thought at the back of my mind helped make the whole ordeal a lot easier to deal with, even when I found out he died (which was not by a family member telling me).

I have been looking forward to leaving home for about ten years. I’m sad to be leaving Round Rock, but glad to be leaving a lot of the people there. I will miss the comforts of my home, but thankfully I will have my own bedroom at the dorm. I won’t be as uncomfortable, and I also won’t have a roommate to bother with my autistic ways.

For the first time in my life, I will be able to live a lifestyle that I get to choose. For many students, that ends up becoming a lifestyle full of bad choices. That thought at the back of my mind is telling me that will become my lifestyle too, but I know it won’t. My biggest fear is consequence. My autism has provided me with a fear of sex and a personality nobody wants to be around. Despite it causing a lot of mental health issues when I was an adolescent, I am grateful for it now. This means I won’t spend my time partying and doing things my parents wouldn’t let me do at home anyways. I will always be the designated driver, which I will not mind at all. If I do end up making friends, being their driver will comfort me because I know they will make it home safely.

That driver thing is partially a metaphor. Autism has caused me to have a strict routine and, again, a fear of consequence. Those I care about will be able to come to me if they are pressured to do something stupid (or if they already did). I am extremely self sustainable and adaptable, two traits I believe everyone should have. I can use those traits to help others.

College. I never thought this would actually happen. For those starting a new chapter, good luck. I wish you nothing but every happiness.

Have a great whatever time of day it is for y’all!

-AEZ

#college #university #freshman #mental health #autism #asd #you're okay #school #beautiful #fandom #texas #leaving #goodbye #mental health awareness

[annazverina]

If you want something to read...

I’m currently posting a rewrite of a book I wrote three years ago called “The Mental Storm” on Wattpad. I post a chapter on Tuesday’s, Thursday’s, and Saturday’s. The main premise is that the main characters live in a world where your mental maturity age determines your legal abilities.

Anyways, if you wanna read it, go to Wattpad.com/AnnaZverina.

Have a great whatever time of day it is for y’all!

#storm #mentalhealth #reading #writing #writer #fandom #you're okay #beautiful #thank you

[annazverina]

Dan!!

I’m forever proud of Daniel for coming out. 

Everybody deserves respect, even if you don’t agree with what they believe in. 

By the way, I get that a lot of Phannies are thinking, “OMFG PHANNNN!” Wait a few days before you start all that. I understand your excitement, but let’s focus on Dan’s bravery first. That’s more important. 

#phan #dan howell #dan #phil lester #phil #coming out #lgbt #gay #pride #basically im gay

[annazverina]

2018 Letter to the World

At the start of 2018, I told myself that I would try to make it the best year possible for myself and the people around me. Did that happen? No. Humans suck at consistency. I once read somewhere that it takes thirty days to develop a habit and one day to break it. Whoever said that is right. Most of us make New Year’s resolutions at the start of the year. I quit doing that a long time ago, because I knew I wouldn’t maintain them. I instead create a bucket list of everything I want to do before the end of the year. It includes trying new things, kicking ass with an upcoming event, and reconnecting with people I haven’t seen in a long time. I always complete those.

I’ve never heard anyone wonder aloud why the world has gotten the way it is, but I’m sure we all have internally at some point. I certainly have, and I have a guess as to why. It’s us. The human race. I don’t blame Trump, natural disasters, or the media. We are what’s wrong with the world.

There have been a few things thrown at me this year that I took something from. They are being a good person, optimism, and disappointment. Firstly, being a good person.

I started watching NBC’s the Good Place recently. It’s a really funny show about four dead humans who ascend to the Good Place, run by an architect named Michael. The main character, Eleanor, realizes that she really belongs in the Bad Place, and turns to her soulmate, Chidi, a philosophy professor, to learn ethics. Meanwhile, she befriends Tahani, who believes she is nearly perfect, and Jason, who is mistaken to be a silent Buddhist Monk named Jianyu.

Throughout the series the characters learn how to become the best people they can be, and that’s how I like to live my life. Earlier this year I posted a blog on Tumblr called “How to be a Good Person.” Part of being a good person is expecting to come across people who are different. I didn’t know religions other than Christianity existed or go to school with an Asian until I was twelve. I didn’t treat people who were different growing up well because nothing prepared me for it. This part of my Letter is going to parents and primary educators. World cultures is an important thing for students to learn. They don’t need to know the details, but they need to know that there are people who are different in the world. Everyone must be treated with common human decency, even if you don’t agree with who they are.

Selfishness is something most people possess. I’m guilty of it too. On paper, selflessness sounds easy; put others before yourself. What exactly does that mean?

Your colleague’s laptop stops working. You just got a new laptop for yourself, but still have your older one that works on hand. The colleague obviously needs a laptop to do his job, so generously, you allow them to use yours until they can get a new one. That was very selfless of you. You didn’t have to offer your laptop, but you did out of the goodness of your heart.

After a short while, you and your colleague are going to lunch together. You go to his office to ask if they’re ready to leave. He says yes, slams the laptop shut, and tosses it onto the couch across the room, where his bag is.

You kindly ask them to be more careful, and that they shouldn’t throw around other people’s stuff. They argue, “You shouldn’t miss phone calls or not answer messages right away.”

First off, that was rude. Second off, that colleague was not thinking about how that laptop did not belong to them. They were being selfish. They completely ignored the fact that you generously allowed them to borrow your laptop and that the laptop belonged to another person.

In short, education on common human decency and thinking about your actions is something that needs to be taught from Kindergarten through 12th Grade. They tried teaching that to us in elementary school and some in middle school, but once we got to high school most of us completely forgot the warnings they gave us in grade school.

Now we’ll move onto Optimism.

Earlier this year I posted something called The 8:1 Ratio. Throughout the world, there are eight goods to one bad, and unfortunately, the bad usually overpowers the good. It’s especially prominent on the media. Every single day I go on Twitter and read up on the bad news in the world. That’s half of what people post. The other half are funny or great things going on in the world. In reality, there is more good than bad. The media fails to see that, unfortunately.

Good doesn’t mean a huge life achievement. Good can mean having a delicious meal, finding 20 dollars on the ground, or finally going to bed after a long day. Bad likes to overshadow all of that. Even something as simple as hitting your leg against a table and bruising it can turn the whole day upside down. For some reason, our minds like to remember bad things more than good things. Next year, at the end of each day, think about the stuff that happened throughout the day. Ask yourself what things were good. Fall asleep on those good thoughts.

I sort of live by the phrase, “Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.”

Whoever originally said that is right. I lost my first closer family member this year. It was very sudden, but I had 24 hours to prepare myself for the bad news to come. We found out what happened on a Friday morning, and I thought about it throughout the day. I hardly shed any tears when I found out he died the next morning. I’ve only lost a few people in my life, but I’ve taken those deaths really well.

Of course I wanted that family member to recover, and I hoped he would. This is one of those complicated subjects. Even if a good outcome is impossible, it’s always okay to have that little sliver of hope that something will suddenly turn around. You don’t even have to express it. You can keep it to yourself. If you prepare for the worst, and the best ends up happening, it’s the most pleasant surprise that you can have.

Disappointment… Not a lot of people take that well. In fact, I’ve taken disappointment worse than death a few times. I’ve had a few disappointments in high school, considering I’m actively involved in band and choir, and I’ve worked my way to high positions in both. Getting a high position in anything is never easy. You have to work your way up to it. In my post, “To My Fellow Americans,” I said in all capitals, “NOT EVERYONE CAN GET THEIR WAY!”

I auditioned for a leadership position in band at the end of my freshman year. I got it, but obviously there were people who wanted my spot but didn’t get it. Next to the list of new leaders were a letter from each band director talking about disappointment. They all talked about how they didn’t always get the positions they wanted either, and that it was okay. Think about it; even though they didn’t always get their way in school, they still managed to become the directors of one of the best bands in the country. It’s okay if you don’t get your way. There are billions of things in the world you can try and do. Don’t confine yourself to a single thing.

I joined choir sophomore year, and was in the top mixed choir by junior year. At the end of each year everyone auditions for the next year. Junior year I auditioned, and was moved down to the varsity women’s group as Alto 2 section leader. I wasn’t mad at all, but I thought I would’ve stayed in mixed.

My director knows me, and he knew I’d be disappointed and in his office first thing Monday morning to discuss the results. We sat down, and he compared my scores to people who made mixed. I was a few slots away from maintaining my spot, but my tone in audition wasn’t great (I’m honestly not that great of a choral singer). I said okay, and we moved on.

The next day I was put back in mixed. Due to the results, a lot of people in the program quit or got kicked out. My director emailed my mother and praised us for dealing with the results with “grace and humility.”

What’s the point of this show off story? Don’t be a little bitch when you don’t get your way. JUST DEAL WITH IT! If it severely affects your way of life, don’t sit around and whine all day about it. Figure out how you can fix it. Can’t fix it? Then learn to adapt. Be more flexible. Again, you won’t always get your way, and that’s okay.

This year sucked… that’s what people say. Maybe it really didn’t. Maybe you just allowed that one bad thing to overpower your eight good things. Maybe you allowed yourself to whine and complain about a disappointment that doesn’t really matter too much. No one can achieve perfection, but we can damn well work smarter to be our best self. Happy New Year!

HAPPY NEWS: sunnyskyz.com

The 8:1 Ratio: annazverina.tumblr.com/post/172487809552/

How to be a Good Person: annazverina.tumblr.com/post/172387691017/

Twitter: twitter.com/AnnaZverina

Instagram: instagram.com/annazverina

YouTube: youtube.com/AnnaZverina

#2018 #New Year #New Year's Eve #New Year's Day #It's okay #beautiful #you are beautiful #love #two thousand eighteen #happy #good #bad #optimism #best self #the good place #chidi x eleanor #tahani x jason #fandom #trump #politics #Thank You #of the day #picoftheday

[annazverina]

To My Fellow Americans,

With today being the last day to register to vote in most U.S. states, I want to talk about what this election means a little bit. First off, I will not be endorsing any candidates. That is not why I use the Internet. It is also worth noting that I am not eighteen yet. While I cannot vote until next year, I do believe every american should have a voice, even if I don’t agree with them. I will be talking about picking who to vote for and why this vote in particular matters. Obviously, I encourage everyone who can to vote. 

While who our President is matters, the people who lead our local and state governments matter too. They are the people who represent our votes for the Presidential Elections. They are in charge of how your town is run. Each state and town has different needs, and you want to elect somebody who will help acquire those needs whilst maintaining positive relations with the federal government. 

With all the above to think about, making a decision is difficult. Please remember, NO CANDIDATE IS PERFECT! Every candidate, on both sides, has flaws. Some issues are worse than others. Before casting your ballot, I encourage you to do some research, and I do not mean going onto social media and reading what others reposted. Basing your vote off of what other people say is not how voting should work. The danger of living in a Democratic Republic is uninformed voters. Many people online, especially social media, may not know exactly what they are endorsing. Instead, you must do your own research. Figure out what each candidates’ policies are through non biased articles (those may be hard to find sometimes). Learn what their flaws are and the severity of them. Make a list of the positives and negatives of each candidate and vote for whoever has the most positive things. Do not vote for the Republican or Democrat just because that’s who you always vote for. Look into what the candidate actually wants. 

Policies should not be selfish to a single minority you are a part of. They should try to raise as many people up as possible. Raising EVERYONE up means making sure all Americans have individual liberty. We must focus on the sake of our country first. We should have the freedom to choose what we do and deal with whatever consequences come our way. It should not be the job of another person to deal with the consequences of a bad choice YOU made. We should have the ability to believe what we believe and express it, as long as it does not inconvenience the life of another person. 

A lesson almost everyone has trouble grasping is that NOT EVERYONE CAN GET THEIR WAY! We must think about the nation as a whole. We cannot allow our lives to revolve around a single minority. We must be United. 

Even if you don’t know who you’re voting for yet, please register right now. Check your state’s regulations on voting; it differs in each state. Happy voting, and have a great whatever time of day it is for y’all!

One more thing, if anyone actually sees this and feels the need to comment, please keep it civil. If I got anything wrong in terms of how the U.S. Government works, let me know.

#elections #voting #state #politics #democrat #republican #liberal #conservative #LGBT #america #trump #senate #house #register #now #texas #beto #cruz

[annazverina]

The best way to predict your future is to create it. -Unknown

#you're okay #beautiful #quote #positive #fandom #summer #dragon band #leadership #i have no clue who actually said this

[annazverina]

Class of ‘18

Not one sparrow is forgotten.

E’en the raven God will feed;

And the lily of the valley

From His bounty hath its need.

Then shall I not trust Thee, Father,

In Thy mercy have a share?

And through faith and prayer my Mother,

Merit Thy protecting care?

To anyone graduating this year, you are never forgotten by the families you created while in school. Good luck.

#graduation #congrats #class of 2018 #not one sparrow

[annazverina]

Rise Up

Being that it's Mental Health Awareness Week, I want to share something with you.

In one week I involuntarily heard the song "Rise Up" five times. The first time I heard it, I listened to it on the radio. The second time, my mother played it in the car, wondering if I knew that song. The third time, they played it on Britain’s Got Talent after someone’s Golden Buzzer. The fourth time, my friend sang it at a depression awareness event at school (I’ll get into that). The fifth time, on the radio again.

The song is very uplifting. I don’t have it in my list of favorite songs because I hear it so much, the week I told you about in the above paragraph being a good example. I’m not a fan of pop music, either. I can tolerate it, but I’ll only listen to it voluntarily if it’s really a good song, with great instrumentals or chords or notes in addition to good lyrics.

Back in 2017, my school lost a student to suicide. In fact, we lost five students in a six week period. One to suicide, one was hit by a car, and three were in a car wreck that involved alcohol. That May the school hosted its first “Light Up Depression.” I didn’t go to the first one. I had a conflict.

One year later, we lost another student to suicide. That told us that mental health issues were becoming a problem. This happened to be the week of Light Up Depression 2018. Out of respect for the person that passed, I went.

LUD happened to be on the same night as my school’s annual Band Olympics. Anyone in band that wanted to go was allowed to. Meanwhile, the people that didn’t go played trivia in the band hall.

The cafeteria lights were turned off, the stage being lit up by string lights. Everyone got a candle that we’d kindle later. During the event, several people came up and talked about their experiences with mental health disorders and gave some positive messages. They had counselors and people to talk to for anyone who needed it. Several people came up and sang (though some treated it as a vanity project more than for rising people up). My friend, one of our drum majors, got up and sang "Rise Up." He sang it really well, first off. Second, it was uplifting, and definitely my favorite performance of the night. I was reminded in that moment to stand up and enjoy myself. Everything will be okay. Feeling negative is temporary.

One of the ASL teachers came up and spoke. She is a survivor, and she talked about how when she was in college, she left her home for about half an hour to run an errand. When she came home, she found her dead sister. Her message was the most powerful, in my opinion. She wasn’t the only adult to speak, but she definitely experienced the most out of all the people that spoke. Her experience was a reminder that there is always someone that loves you, and to make the most of your time with everyone you love.

The point of this message is, everything will be fine. That’s not a phrase that people dealing with mental health issues like to hear, but being someone that has dealt with it, I can tell you it’s okay. Allow the positives to overpower the negatives. I’m still alive because of music and the few friends I have. Find your reason to be alive, and stick with it. It doesn’t have to be a person. It could be a hobby, the fanpage you probably run, food, your job, there is always a reason for everyone to live. Life isn’t always daisies, ponies, and unicorns. The good things in your life are rewards for the difficulties.

Have a great whatever time of day it is for y'all.

-AEZ

#mental health #you're okay #rise up #andra day #fandom #beautiful #you are beautiful #help #keep going #Mental Health Awareness #monday

[annazverina]

The Coffee Shop

I sit in this local coffee shop, wearing a maroon shirt, a black cardigan, blue jeans, and combat boots. My hair is tied into a braid, which drapes against my left shoulder. As I sit at this small, round, wooden table, I sip on a large iced mocha and describe this crowded joint. Resting atop my table is a poop emoji hat that I brought to wear during a private flute lesson I am to have today.

Sitting on my left is a middle aged man with thinning hair. He wears a t-shirt and jeans, and doesn’t look like he is on his way to work anytime soon. A bible is open on this table, but instead of studying his scripture, the man texts on his phone. I glance at him periodically to see if he ever puts his phone back on the table and returns to reading his bible. He never does.

There is a sitting area of black, leather couches at my ten o’clock view. This girl named Nicole, whom I was in band with in middle school, conveys with a woman who looks like a teacher. They must have run into each other. They ask about each other’s well being, a kind of conversation people have when they haven’t seen each other in a long time.

At the table directly in front of me sits a girl named Jacelynn. Her hair is dyed red, and she wears a jacket and jeans. She is in choir, and has her voice lesson immediately following mine. She recently started taking lessons from the teacher I have. 

There are two tables to Jacelynn's nine o’clock. The first table seats three girls, who are probably older than I am. The noise from the bar is too loud for me to hear what they are talking about. They wear Nike shorts and t-shirts, yet they wear a full face of makeup and made the effort to straighten their hair this morning. My guess based on these observations is that they’re gossiping about other people in whatever friend group they’re in.

The table behind those girls seats a group of boys. It’s difficult to hear them. They look like the kind of boys who date lots of girls, drink and party on the weekends, and don’t necessarily care about school.

There are two tables at my seven o’clock. The table closer to me seats two men. They’re more than likely colleagues who just happen to work at the same place. They both look to be in their fifties. God knows what they’re talking about.

Directly behind me is the bar, where two young men prepare everyone’s coffee drinks and food. Some people sit along the bar while waiting for their orders. One of the men behind the bar has been working here since they opened almost two years ago. The other one is new. I haven’t seen him before. They work non-stop, though the place will slow down when all the students who are here have to get back to the high school.

There is another room in the back, where every Tuesday this shop hosts karaoke. I’ve never been. I can’t drive yet. Even when there isn’t karaoke that back area is still jam packed with people. Every table is filled. Most of the people who sit back there are students at the high school I go to. Some of them study, some of them are there to enjoy their time with their friends before school.

Every morning before school this coffee shop packs with people. From students, to teachers, to normal working class people who just want some espresso before work. I love this coffee shop. It’s just a few hundred yards from the high school I go to. Most of this coffee shop’s revenue comes from high school students. That’s not a bad thing. The high school has been here for over a hundred years. This shop is here for our comfort.

This is non fiction. I wrote this short story a year ago in a journal I brought with me to that coffee shop. Yes, I actually had a poop emoji sitting on my table. Hope y’all enjoyed this!

Have a great whatever time of day it is for y’all!

-AEZ

#coffee #aesthetic #monday #latteart #morning #school #friends #high school #comfort