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THAT ANONYMOUS TOUCH !!
When we are in public how many time has happened that the random passer by has touched your arm and said OH BAJI GHALTI SAY HOGAYA and how many times you are being watched or rather stared strangely , well many times .
Past days I’ve met some women (will not disclose their identity) . They told me their stories and after listening them I was in a state of mind that’s unexplainable or I can say those stories were traumatic!!
They told me that they were being touched inappropriately and followed by a random guy ..
“HE WAS ON BIKE AND TOUCHED MY SHOULDER FROM BEHIND , BARELY REMEMBER HIS FACE.. I was 6 at that time , I’m still scared frim travelling alone “
“I WAS COMING BACK FROM WORK AND HE FOLLOWED ME , I WAS PRETTY SCARED SO I START MOVING FORWARD. HE FOLLOWED ME TILL THE BUS STOP. I was 30 at that time , I didn’t sleep or eat that day “
“ I WENT TO BEACH WITH MY FAMILY , THE HORSE RIDER TOUCH MY THIGH .. I was five at that ,I remember everything and it’s traumatic”
“ I WENT TO A SHOP WITH MY PARENTS . A GUY TOUCHED ME FROM BEHIND AND RAN AWAY AS SOON AS I TURN MY FACE . I was 11 at that time .. I was shocked and my mind was frozen “
All of this is not okay ! .. Many years have passed but this memory is drilled in their minds , are they ok !? No they aren’t . They are still afraid , if the random passer by passes although he will do nothing but they are still in that fear of anonymous touch ..
People say women’s life is easy , NO NOT REALLY !!. When these monsters are around us no one is safe not even men specially boys .. We need to understand that clothing or your time aren’t the ones to be blamed but two things are one these culprits and second our society who doesn’t support women or men . If something happens to women they are being blamed for their attire or timing and if boy is a victim , he’s asked to remain quite even he wants to cry his lungs out and express himself that he has been weakened by a certain incident .. Being broken sad isn’t a bad thing or crying doesn’t make you weak it makes you the strongest person .
Most importantly the EDUCATION OF BAD TOUCH AND GOOD TOUCH . Teaching certain things at very young is not always BAYHAYA OR BAGHAIRTPANA (aka shameless ) . Children are very fragile and their mind are developing, they are making memories and learning different aspects of life .. To introduce them to real world we have to prepare them and the only way is to teach them certain things . Schools focus on good grades , appearance, sports and extracurricular activities but have they ever focus on making an individual prepared for real world .. NO NEVER ..
Never let peer pressure or socital judgment become a hinderance in your voice for justice ..
NEVER STAY SILENT . RAISE YOUR VOICE
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WEIGHT LOSS
Being vocal about your bad eating habits and weight loss makes you more strong !!
On Instagram there are thousands of pages which show the masses that how to loose weight , how to alter your diet , try this try that .. Find a natural alternative to junk food and all . But have they ever told you that how difficult that is and how much dedication , ups and downs and massive fluctuations you may face !! No not really ..
I started my diet when I was around 80kg 😮‍💨 … well after a year or 2 I was 70kgs … Lots of factors helped me in loosing weight like my studies , my schedule and my eating habits (medical isn’t easy tho ) .. most importantly and least highlighted factor is I worked hard and cardio like crazy ! Was it worth it ? Yes it did bring a change but it was hell tiring and I’ve gone a lot muscle pain .. My weight was stagnant like for 1 and 1/2 year and trust me the feeling is unexplainable.. I was pretty much tired too from dieting and controlling!! So I have myself a breakie !!
Social media shows transformation post , like from non abs to an abs body in 7 months I mean dude seriously is that easy !!! Do such transformation video really motivate ? No they are the worst , make u feel that your dieting method is wrong though you are doing same . Sometimes out of frustration you over do it which either lead to a blackouts (hypoglycaemia) or extreme hair fall !! Personally I’ve seen so frequent fluctuations in my weight that even my water weight scared me ..
There is called a period weight aka bloating , it’s normal that most of the women gain weight when they are on their periods and once the cycle is over they are back to their normal weight , when you are loosing weight you are devastated that after killing all your cravings you are still there …
All the HEALTHY MEAL PREP VIDEOS really work or help in weight loss no not really .. In Pakistan there’s not such trend of eating salads and it’s fine our taste buds aren’t developed from that taste .. I wasn’t always a salad or low cal person I used to run away from greens but after recreating them according to my taste I was ok ,took me years .. Do I live on salads? No never I can’t tbvh , I eat home made regular meals (controlled portions) and their macros are already counted and low in calories..
Does Keto help? Yes it does , but it’s the worst diet u may see the change in weight but after leaving this diet and going back to normal can be difficult. Keto can cause hypoglycaemia.. There’s a caveman diet which can lead to certain deficiencies … Types of diet are really nothing but cutting on certain macro fat proteins carbs that your body needs .. cutting those can cause serious health conditions ..
About intermittent fasting: it has variations but best is 16:8 it really worked for me .. Did I eat what I wanted ? No I opt healthy portion controlled meals and fruits .. This method literally increased my water intake .. I made a calorie deficit which helped me to loose my weight from 70kg to straight 65kg took mein 7 months but still NOT AN AB PROGRESS I SAY !!
When people ask when will I stop DIETING !? actually the answer is I’m not on diet I’m on sustainable eating habits and it’s good for my body . It doesn’t mean I don’t have a good relationship with junk food , I do celebrate days where I eat absolute trash but not every week or day !!
There will be many hurdles and mental health ups and downs . Always remember lean doesn’t mean good mental health or satisfaction . What matters the most is your OVERALL HEALTH and it should be your priority!!
Stay safe and healthy!
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MY TOP PICKS
1 - BABSUR TOP - unfortunately I couldn’t make it since roads were block due to heavy snowfall .
2- ATTABAD LAKE - Amazing scenic place to visit . It has activities: boating and fishing . Moreover the Rakaposhi peak can be seen and its a breathtaking view .. Keep warm clothes since it’s pretty cold there
3- HUSSAINI BRIDGE- Adrenaline rush alert !! It’s a safe bridge though hanging by a thread , seems to be dangerous but safe .
4- HUNZA BAZAR - lots of things you can explore there from most famous cafe or pizza to traditional food and native home tour . Baltit fort is a good tourist spot if you are fond of history ..
5- NALTAR VALLEY - absolutely amazing with thrilling jeep experience . You can travel alone or I will recommend a guide (preferably hunza native) so he’ll help u to explore the valley more ..
My tour was actually a 10 day planned tour but due landslides and road blocks I only explored these places !! Looking forward to explore more beauty of Pakistan..
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2. ATTABAD LAKE
Magical tourist spot with absolutely breathtaking view and aura .. In 2010 heavy landslide thundered down the remote village of Gilgit baltistan region and blocked the flow of hunza river . Currently you can enjoy boating or fishing here , or just sit back enjoy the view ..
Keep your windbreakers as it’s pretty cold here !!
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3. HUSSAINI BRIDGE
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3. PAKISTAN - NORTHERN AREAS
GILGIT - BALTISTAN REGION
I opt train to travel northern parts of Pakistan !! Train Tour starts from Karachi to faisalabad .
Road journey started from faisalabad to Bhera (pit stop ) and then Abbotabad for breakfast . This was a fine route . Bhera stop got clean toilets with lots of eatery options . Besham was some like old traditional place so the washrooms were not really good but the place was great the view and chai . Rain started when we arrived Besham city . Opt peak of summers to travel but unfortunately there was heavy landslides and rainfalls .
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Our road journey was accompanied by scenic views
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MY TOP PICKS FROM PAK TOUR :
1 Gunar farms
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2. TURKEY 🇹🇷 (2012)
I would highly recommend Turkey since it has amazing places to visit and scrumptious food to try . Travelling their isn’t that expensive (if u don’t opt for luxury) . Stayed in grand seigneur hotel in old city aka fatih street near Hagia Sophia, blue mosque and topkapi palace .. Grand bazar and spice bazar were also near to my hotel , that was a cheap , small , cozy and home based hotel . You can feel that vintage Turkey vibes .
I was honestly never a blogger or review writer so I don’t have that many pictures..
Things u can find in main Istanbul (never miss)
Their breakfast and dinner - always try street food
The Bosphorus cruise dinner (let it be surprise I won’t tell everything)
Always walks to the attractions . You will be able to explore old streets of Istanbul
Topkapi palace (ticket required and they prohibit video making and photography)
Basilica cistern - underground church with Medusa head pillars (ticket required, temporary closed)
Blue mosque and Hagia Sophia -entry free of cost
Grand bazar and spice bazar
Baklava - Hafiz Mustafa 1864 at fatih street Also popular for their khunafe
Also this city have lots of tourist so the scams here are in higher rate
Things u should avoid
Never pick anything for anyone . If u see that something has slipped from their hands never pick up for them !! - the scammer will compel you to buy that thing and that will cost u a huge deal
Don’t buy everything u see , all things aren’t authentic . Have a proper tour guide
Don’t live at taksim square ( great for shopping , mostly international brands) , live in the old streets of Istanbul , to experience their traditions and culture.
Avoid taxi and trams - they are hugely crowded u will not be able to see all that beauty !!
Always give urself a one day rest before exploring next thing , because You’ll get exhausted!!
I travelled to Bursa - it’s a large cozy city , in bursa u should try .
Bursa Uludag gandola - Ariel view from cable car between uludag mountain is breathtaking . However wait is long
Osman gazi tomb
Emir sultan mosque
Zafer plaza - great for shopping if you’re looking for international or urban brands.
My stay wasn’t that long but my bucket list in longer than that .. next destination after pandemic
Cappadocia , izmir , antalya , Eskisehir , Trabzon
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PLACES YOU SHOULD VISIT AFTER PANDEMIC !!
We all are pretty much in a same place for exactly one year since covid has started ! No tourism and no outings. The new normal is depressing!!
The placed I’m gonna sharing are ATTRACTIVE, NOT THAT PRICY , THEIR VISA PROCESS IS SIMPLE ...
Part 1
1. KENYA 🇰🇪 (2015)
Kenya is most underrated beautiful country !! Specially their national reserve Masai Mara .. If you want to experience and feel the nature u should give it a try to Kenya ..
This is Lake Naivasha . It’s a fresh water lake , much of the lake is surrounded by forests of the yellow barked Acacia Xanthophlea, known as the yellow fever tree (so u need to vaccinate yourself before travelling ) . The forest has a huge bird life . It has boating options . The lake has big population of hippos . The experience is unimaginably amazing!!
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The next spot is the famous MASAI MARA !!
Rich in culture and their hospitality is great .. We stayed at Keekorok Lodge , no fence hotel you are absolutely in the middle of the jungle with no electricity and wifi , isn’t this a dream destination. You might need a wind breakers and sweaters since nights are pretty cold and always lock your windows and doors since baboons and monkeys can easily invade .. You might often experience grazing deers hippos in the middle of the night near your room balcony.
The highlight of the this trip is JUNGLE SAFARI ! Don’t consider it is as a random zoo experience because u gonna be close to nature and wild life .. The professional will take u to the main national reserve park (its basically jungle with preserved nature and wild life ) there are some ground rules , BE SEATED WHEN JEEP IS MOVING , AVOID MAKING NOISES , AVOID LITTERING , NEVER LEAVE THE JEEP , WHEN CARNIVORES ARE NEAR BE QUITE AND CALM .. ONE MORE IMPORTANT THING BUY A PROFESSIONAL CAMERA trust me it’s worth it if You are travelling person .
We opt August to travel to Kenya since the great migration happen in august and weather is pretty pleasant. April - july are the seasons of rains and breeding .. july- October are pleasant seasons to travel !
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EDUCATING NOT SO TABOO TOPICS !!
Well we all know education is the basic part of our life . Most of us really don’t do degree programs but most of us do high schools.. we absolutely learn about everything maths physics geography science history and many ...... Some countries also educate their kids about normal physiology of menstruation at a very young age to both the genders . Which is important!!
I was in 7th grade when a sanitary napkin company started a campaign to educate ONLY GIRLS about menstruation , method of using sanitary napkins and how to hide it from men . I already knew since my mom educated me about all the stuff but she never mentioned to hide it from dad .. When my principal and one of the campaign member asked to hide your normal physiological phenomena from boys and men it was unsettling to me and they literally threw all the boys out of that auditorium as they were teaching us a taboo duh !!! Well the seminar or whatever finished in an hour , they distributed trial napkins to all the girls and asked to hide it in our bags . We did it and went for lunch as we came back boys out of curiosity literally checked our bags .. Honestly I don’t blame them and their curiosity, they were young and they wanted to know that why they weren’t allowed at the seminar. I was super confused and angry , firstly my privacy was invaded and second why they aren’t getting the same education about menstruation .. To be very much honest it’s better to educate boys in their teens as girls , its better that source of education is proper and appropriate . Boys educating themselves in abrupt way is not appropriate they end up being disgusted from the periods and believe that it’s a taboo since they were not told about that ..
Women faking the fast because of periods is not ok .. Menstruation is that time of a month where women need comfort and food . Allah (swt) have declared that menstruating woman can’t fast . So faking it because of dad and brother will mind it’s totally not ok . Girls educate them I’m sure they will understand, this is the time to change and you can bring that change ...
People feel disgusted if someone talks about periods and sanitary stuff , this is because they aren’t properly educated. Menstruation is normal it’s not a taboo and not a disgusting thing , it’s a part of a woman and that’s how life starts !!
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PANDEMIC AND MENTAL HEALTH
Pandemic isn’t easy for anyone . The outbreak changed lifestyle in every possible way ..
Life before outbreak and lockdown was so different and fast . Sudden pandemic changed everything from routine habits to mental state . My 3red semester started when lockdown was implemented , in the beginning it was fun spending time with family . Doing all hobbies and trying different things . Interacted with many ppl (virtually) through webinars and made new friends .. As time passes by and lockdown and pandemic became part of life sudden changes I experienced overthinking, anxiety and loneliness . I spent lockdown with my family and still felt lonely and scared . We did everything from family movie nights to family long drives but that feeling stayed and it’s still with me ..
In first wave lockdown I had an anxiety attack, and it was awful depressing and heart wrenching. The feeling is still unexplainable but I was so scared of people and felt like something bad is gonna happen or I will fail myself . I hadn’t had such feeling / emotion before pandemic. I was so worried about the reoccurrences of overthinking and depression surge . I almost studied every article about it . One thing relived me that I wasn’t alone in this but almost most of the people around the globe are facing it .. Well it wasn’t easy , the days were so painful dull and lazy like I’m sedated with my absurd thoughts. I know it gets dangerous when u hide. Well coming out wasn’t easy but I did and explain everything to my parents . They were confused and broken , they felt blamed but later realised that It’s just me in this .. They were supportive and surprisingly I talked about several things which I hadn’t even thought that I ‘ll ever talk about those out loud .. It was such a relieve . I never took any medications . Yes I had sleepless nights but I never gave up and stayed awake .. Medicine are a good help but they aren’t the permanent solution..
Thing helped me during my phase . NAMAZ , IBADAH , SAYING ABOUT EVERYTHING TO PARENTS , NEVER HESITATED IN APOLOGISING AND REALISING WHO IS REAL AND WHO ISNT .. Baking cooking painting were really a liberating therapy for me ..
Pandemic in movies seems to be a thriller and fun but in actuality it’s nothing but a start of depressing phase . Fast moving life is way better than stagnant one or may be sometimes we don’t need a break to understand ourselves..
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IT HURTS
We humans want someone supportive and always by our side . Praises our goods and amends our bad . We never want anyone to tear us down by saying awful things or by bullying...
We look up to those humans who are biologically and non biologically closer to us , obviously I won’t name them all . We expect from them that they would say such things that’ll boost up our confidence and morals . What if they tear you down and tore u apart , made u self conscious and awful that you’ll hurt your self eventually in anyway ..
Weight, colour ,height ,marks ,moles and cellulite don’t define u . What actually does is you , your persona , vibe that u give , nature and more over your gesture but unfortunately we live in a society where all of this don’t really matter . What actually matters here in this society are your physical features , you are brutally judged and bullied by others about your looks . Talking about others your own relative will suck u up until u fall onto the PARAMETERS OF SOCIETY (which are totally absurd) ..
Obesity is one cause which can give rise to many syndromes and diseases . We can help a person with that and can cure them by making support groups and open gyms but pressuring and bullying them and saying that your belly is bulging out of your clothes , you aren’t loveable and misfit because u are fat , OMG IT HURTS SO BAD , that anyone could’ve imagine and totally stupid . Lean is not healthy and chubby isn’t unhealthy. There’s a anatomy where ur bones are broad enough that u look big and it’s totally fine and pretty amazing. Being big is NOT UNHEALTHY. What unhealthy is ALARMING OBESITY ..
I honestly still remember those days where my appearance mattered the most than my gesture and nature . I was judged and commented by some ‘ Brown neck and white face girl’ (I was obese and I had developed Acanthosis nigricans , due to which my neck fold where brown and face color was fair ) it literally made me self conscious that I started covering my neck from even myself because I hated it . In my school years I was misfit from that one popular group because I used to bring lunch and make a side parted braid lol , saying it out loud feels so stupid but trust me it feels good.. I didn’t had an eating disorder but I was eating in unhealthy way that would have eventually harmed me so yeah I controlled my weight WHEN I WANTED IT . Honestly listening to those awful things killed my self love and made me curious about my facial hairs and other IMPERFECTIONS (which actually makes me a different individual) now I realize too late but yes that I’m not perfect I agree !! but the one who is bullying is perfect ? The answer is no . Imperfections makes us beautiful not an Instagram filter, they are temporary but u and yourself is forever..
My problem isn’t big enough to be discussed , I really feel sad for those ppl who are judged because of their mental state and their stature and height which they actually can’t change but I know they badly want to because this society and some ppl are so toxic that they even can make you your own enemy , the kind of energy they give off that bad word isn’t enough for them .. I met a girl she was epileptic and I had no idea what epilepsy was back then , I went to her and tap on her shoulder to call her for attendance she started having a mild seizure everyone started laughing and from that day she was bullied by kids , I won’t blame kids to be insensitive but I’ll blame the adults that they don’t tell their kids that when u see something unusual DONT BULLY JUST CALL SOMEONE FOR HELP OR MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.. I didn’t do much for her I was unaware of here condition but I wanna hug and apologise for being so dumb and wasn’t there for her when she needed someone badly , she left the school because of all bully and I hope she’s doing best in her life . She was a brave and beautiful girl ..
Judging, bullying and setting such parameters which are totally unachievable is not fair and totally absurd . If you’re perfectly lean just like vs model than good for u , honestly no one is perfect and that’s kind a beautiful. Everyone is not same , they are in variety and that’s kind a amazing and praise worthy that how God has created such a beautiful variety of humans . Peace.
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FORBIDDEN LOVE
Love comes in many ways and expressions and it’s beautiful but forbidden love is something complicated exciting and a rollercoaster ride.
If someone says that they have never found one that they want to and dream about spending their life with , is not true . There’s always a ONE TRUE FORBIDDEN LOVE which can’t be yours due to certain reasons , not necessarily parents are involved but u wanna walk away from that feeling and energy that is coming from them .
Its true u wanna love them and spend your whole life with them but u pushed back that feeling because either your insecurities hinder or they aren’t trustworthy to be your companion . Love teaches u everything how live adjust and give each their own spaces . What if they wanna walk away after quite sometime in order to explore their self or the spark which was once there is now gone because they started missing their first love or freedom !? Well I still don’t know the answer I guess I’m still figuring that too , whether I trust my gut feeling or just wait for someone chosen by my parents .
I really wanna say I want to spend my life by trusting my gut feeling but honestly it’s not a fairytale everything won’t be sparkly and magical it can be dark . My choices about humans are poor I trust ppl who aren’t really honest and trustworthy. I know I believe in worst because statistically I’ve been ditched many times rather than being loved . THE PURE LOVE THAT IVE ONLY SEEN IS FROM MY PARENTS
Forbidding love just because I’m not trusting my gut feeling is worth it or not !? I honestly don’t know if I’m doing right or wrong .
I hope people will never find a forbidden love .. I still wanna believe in best of him but I can’t and I’ll wait for the better
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LOVE AND SOCIETY
Love is such a strong , beautiful word and mixture of almost every feeling ..
Is it really hard to find someone who actually adores and admires u wholeheartedly!? Well I don’t know the answer since I’m still in ambiguous state !!
Falling for someone is such a complicated thing and if it fails you or you fail it , going back is much more difficult complicated and painful..
An individual fell for many people everyday and they are just crush not a real One . Falling for a real one it’s like achieving something and the feel of it so strong beautiful anxiously amazing!!..
Sometimes love fails you or you fail the love and that spark which once was a beautiful thing and now a nightmare and anxiety but will always be a memory (I won’t say good or bad , choice is yours)
Does society plays huge role in failing of love !? Answer is no and yes since world is super imposed with social culture and values so yeah if that guy or girl fail a natural selection or compatibility test for a companionship, so eventually they have to drift apart from their spark and bond ..
Social pressures is the worst thing anyone can experience . It’s toxic , depressing and hurtful .
Never let this toxic hurtful society to intervene in your bond and love .. love is complicated thing, handling it and making it work is much more complicated and when u committed to someone u have to let go lots of things and SOCIAL VIEWS IS ONE THEM !!
So yes when , if u let the society to interfere in your love and no when , you don’t care about it. Your parents and your Allah is okay with the relationship you are going to have , is everything u need in a prosperous companionship..
Ending it ,
“And in your smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.”
“I’d choose you again and again.”
“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” Audrey Hepburn
“I still fall for you every day.”
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SHAME AND HUMAN
Shame is quite a complicated word to say ! Since shame comes by with lots of reasons but is it really worth to get to be on nerves , answer is NO !
We are humans and we make mistakes and amend those ! Ask forgiveness from God and Allah is merciful and Forgives his mankind BESHAK !! ..
Sometimes we repeat the same mistakes that makes us shameful but what truly happens I talk to God after my obligatory prayers and becomes more close to my God and the feeling is beautiful it’s like in this lonely and judgy world there’s a God who listens to me never judge and save me from hardships of my shame and heal me back !
This world is not pure either so it’s hard to be a good person here ! I believe in best but people actually let me down and proves that WORLD IS NOT REALLY A BEST TO BELIEVE IN ! Ppl are mean and they love others exposé...
I would like to end this short article here because there’s lots to say and and here we go I’m gonna share a shame IM NOT REALLY GOOD IN ENGLISH , in my mind it makes lot sense but when I deliver it I really messed it up .
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Ps : accepting shame loudly is so peaceful ..
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