anotherbloggermum-blog

[anotherbloggermum-blog]

D-Day

1st August 2017. The big day has arrived....... its back to work time.

So I nearly posted last night, I had so many thoughts, feelings and emotions going through my head in preparation for today and I thought that there was something dramatically poetic about capturing the 'before'. Perhaps then I would have some huggge relief about how much easier the reality was than I've built in my mind. (lol- on reflection how emo am I?!) But anyway.... I would nooooo way have had time to write my thoughts on a post-it note, let alone a blog! So let's just start with today.....

Usually Enzo (my 1 year old..... I'll tell you more about him later) wakes up at about 6.30am -oh the joys of motherhood- so I was super organised and set my alarm for 6am. Thirty minutes of time to get up, washed and covered in enough make up to hide the last 12 months of early starts. Whilst on that note, has anyone ever considered that by the time you serrriously need to apply a decent amount of foundation and touch éclat, you barely have 5 minutes to yourself to even pee- let alone spend a good fifteen minutes contouring your cheekbones?! What's that about? Anyway....... this wasn't a problem this morning because today, my DS decided he would have a lie in! Not on Sunday- the day of rest, not yesterday- our last mummy-son day together, but today- the day we needed to be in the car on the way to nursery be 7.15am. In fairness it all worked out ok and we successfully left the house with the 3 million pre-packed bags that we needed for our days in tow, and arrived at nursery perfectly on time. Go me! (I'm not doing to dwell on how emotion I found dropping him off... I'm sure you'll be able to see that for yourself in just a mo!)

So the next challenge was for me: Mission 'Back to Being a Working Adult Capable of Holding Conversations that DO NOT Revolve Around Babies/ Poo/ Weaning etc'. (Oh- and not to mention NOT CRYING ABOUT ABANDONING MY SON AT NURSERY to my boss who was coming to meet me to welcome me back to work. Anyone fancy a guess at how this went?

I successful managed to exchange pleasantries with my boss without even a tremble in my voice. But then another colleague asked "Hows your Son?" and off I was! But it wasn't too tragic and I quickly redeemed myself and put my work hat back on. I attended a conference call, and then had a meeting with my bosses to plan my workload (I've gone back into a new role so there's a lot of planning to do). But after a couple of hours I checked my phone and realised I had a missed call from Enzo's nursery. Shit! they called an hour ago and I've only just realised. #motherhoodfail No1. I  convinced myself it was fine- probably just something administrative.... so I called them back. "Enzo has had a little accident"- just the words I needed to hear after already crying 3 times since I got out of bed. He'd fallen over and cut his lip open. Nothing too serious but enough to start my waterworks off again!

Why today? Why the first day of nursery when my Mum- guilt was already paramount? Why when I am an hour and a half away with no way of getting back any faster?

Thankfully everything was ok- Enzo enjoyed the rest of his day; he ate all his food, had a little sleep and they even took him to the farm to feed the piglets!

Here's hoping the rest of my working week runs a little more smoothly!!

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