anthrobrat

[anthrobrat]

not that joe keery isn’t a very attractive man but i absolutely love the mythos the fandom has constructed around steve’s beauty like he’s somehow simultaneously the most beautiful creature you’ll ever encounter in your life and just some guy. fic writers become divinely possessed by the muses when describing this guy’s moles. i’ve never felt more secure about my own brown eyes than when i read what people write about steve harrington’s otherworldly beautiful brown eyes. he’s both unobtainable handsome and your boy next door.

[anthrobrat]

you can pry happy endings from my cold-dead hands. It can be the most heart stopping, gut wrenching fic that has every existed and I will read every drop of it if I get my happy ending. I have had enough painful endings in real life, give me happy in my fantasy world. It can be at the last second, it can be a single sentence, even a single word. Give me all the angst and hurt in the world for 500,000 words, but please give me the comfort I need in the ending. please and thank you.

[anthrobrat]

[very clearly enamored AND elated] He fucking bit me.

[anthrobrat]

i'm founding a new school of media criticism which i've decided to call Bitism. the Bitist school of literary analysis asks a simple question: is this work committed to the bit?

you see, any work of fiction is either committed to the bit or it's not. the worst thing a piece of media can be is ashamed of its own premise, of the genre it in habits, of the tropes and aesthetics we expect from it. to be committed to the bit does not inherently make it good, but it makes it more worthy of respect than those which are not.

also, that's not to say that a story cannot parody or criticize the genre it inhabits or mimics. we can discuss the bit, we can deconstruct the bit, we can ask ourselves whether or not it's a good bit, but to commit to it first will strengthen these discussions, not detract from them. commitment to the bit is, after all, the first step to genuine sincerity. and sincerity will exalt and elevate parody such that it can stand on its own feet.

commitment to the bit turns melodrama into camp, elevates parody to biting commentary, and allows cringe to open up into a resonant, if unpolished, expression of true emotion.

fully expect bitism to take the literary world by storm sometime in the next few years.

#always. #commit to the bit.

[anthrobrat]

all fanfiction is funnier and sexier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. that’s just how it works. that’s just facts.

[anthrobrat]

imagine, if you will, modern au David Kenyon Webster discovering fandom and fanfiction because his boyfriend, certified Fandom Old(TM) Joe David Liebgott, so happened to randomly mention it one night, while David is ranting about a show or book series gone wrong-- or, better yet, gone terribly, terribly right. And just like every story that was ever loved, he mourns its loss, and wonders, out loud, if there was a way to stay in this narrative, in this specific world, and with its characters?

Joe doesn't think when he replies; "Fanfiction, Web."

"What?"

"Fanfiction?"

"What's that?"

"... You've never--? Fanfiction! It's like. Fanart. But with stories."

And suddenly, this whole new world opens up.

anyway, this is just my long winded way of presenting to you the very funny scenario of Lieb trying to explain the mechanics of the alpha/beta/omega universe to Web.

#oh boy #I was Webster all along #hilarious #we need this story #band of brothers

[anthrobrat]

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

[anthrobrat]

having a crush as an adult is so embarrassing i’m literally too old for this. i should be busy with my blacksmith apprenticeship or something

[anthrobrat]

Non-sexual dominance is so cute-

"Come here, baby"

"Let me help you"

"Be careful"

"Come lay here, Princess"

"Sit on my lap, kitten"

"Come cuddle"

"Hold my hand while we're out"

[anthrobrat]

I’ve decided that it is epically unfair that my allergies continue to exist even when I’m sick. This should not be allowed.

#personal #yelling #don’t mind me #not fandom

[anthrobrat]

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

#in the computer room #not an office #a room just for the family computer

[anthrobrat]

[anthrobrat]

"well I would offer to help but..."

"how very webster of you"

absolutely screaming at the time team archaeologists dragging our boy webster during their easy company excavation in aldbourne

#band of brothers #i’m dead #ouch burn #david kenyon webster

[anthrobrat]

yes we’re giggling, yes it’s while we’re fucking, yes it’s between kisses and breaths and squeezes and loving glances and slow thrusting and

[anthrobrat]

this moment is my Roman Empire

[anthrobrat]

I can be normal about that old man btw

[anthrobrat]

Hear her out, take her out, eat her out