anythinggoesfandoms

[anythinggoesfandoms]

Tired: The Jedi failed because they did not keep up with the times.

Wired: The Jedi were easier to sabotage because they did not keep up with the fast moving gossip or run their own PR, making it easier for Palpatine and Dooku to run anti-Jedi propaganda.

Inspired: Palpatine would have lost if Anakin had set up a YouHolo/HoloTube channel about being a Jedi when he first arrived at the temple.

[anythinggoesfandoms]

can you imagine the sheer catharsis of using power tools in your garage with the door open blasting dadrock on a summer weekend

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[anythinggoesfandoms]

My absolute FAVORITE piece of art right now,

Monkey Seated on Rocks Above the Sea

Kano Sansetsu (1589 - 1651)

Source

I just love his little face

[anythinggoesfandoms]

“Louis, may I ask you about human preparedness?”

I looked up from my book to see Milly and company sitting down.

“Sure, what’s the quandary?” I asked.

“Humans are biologically suited for the land, yet when you go on your explorations, you prepare for living in both water and in treetops. Why?” Milly asked.

“Easy answer is you never know what could happen,” I shrugged.

The crew mate next to Milly with dark green eyes spoke up. “It is my understanding that humans prepare for what they are relatively familiar with. A hunter will prepare to hunt, for example, whereas another might prepare to eat plants.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure I follow,” I admitted.

Purple eyes on the other side of Milly spoke. “What he means is, if humans prepare for things they’re familiar with, why do they prepare for all environments? Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to locate the environment you’re biologically suited to?”

“Oh, well yeah, but you have to remember that nearly 75% of wildlife on earth is suited to land as well, and that even our herbivores can be deadly and territorial. Sometimes the environment our biology is most suited to isn’t the safest one to be in,” I explained.

“Can you expound on this subject?” Green eyes asked.

“Sure. So let’s say we crashed on Earth. We have a nearly three in four chance of landing in water. Logically, we’d want to find land to have a better chance at living. But if the land we find is home to a bunch of orangutans, I’d much rather continue on the water.”

“But what if you can’t find more land?” Green eyes asked.

“Set up a water filtration system to clean the salt out and have drinkable water, swim or catch fish for food, make shade for the daytime and stay dry and warm at night. It won’t be enjoyable, but it is livable.”

“This is why you always bring a prepared human on explorations.” Milly was smug, like she just won an argument. “They apply their knowledge to all kinds of scenarios they’ve never experienced.”

“That doesn’t make humans better that other deathworlders,” purple eyes insisted.

“No, but our winning streak in the survival games does,” I offered.

Neither purple or green eyes responded to that. Milly nodded.

“And on that note, I believe you two have a shift of mine to take,” she said.

[anythinggoesfandoms]

I know it had to be a tragedy because prequels, but i just really wish Anakin, kneeling before Palpatine, had lunged forward feral boy style and bit little-Sheev right off. Spat it out, watched very stunned sith lord bleed out while cursing in Huttese, pulled a very surprised Mace Windu back in the window, lived to see Obi-Wan's face as he realised just how uncivilizedly Anakin solved his sith lord problem. Just fucking feral fighter boy

[anythinggoesfandoms]

Them: The Force is Anakin's father

Me: Look, in most mythologies the primordial nothingness or whatever either randomly produces an egg or is itself gendered as female. The Force is clearly either Anakin's second Mom or his genderqueer/fluid/or neutral other parent, which - in Star Wars terminiology - I think, would make The Force Anakin's Buir.

It's like a really cishet version of telephone

Shmi: There was no father.

Qui-Gon: The Force was the other parent.

Fandom: The Force is Anakin's DAD

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Them: The Force is Anakin's father

Me: Look, in most mythologies the primordial nothingness or whatever either randomly produces an egg or is itself gendered as female. The Force is clearly either Anakin's second Mom or his genderqueer/fluid/or neutral other parent, which - in Star Wars terminiology - I think, would make The Force Anakin's Buir.

It's like a really cishet version of telephone

Shmi: There was no father.

Qui-Gon: The Force was the other parent.

Fandom: The Force is Anakin's DAD

[anythinggoesfandoms]

headcanon: the rest of the Jedi call them the Disaster Lineage when they're not around to hear it.

You can guess whose doing that was.

[anythinggoesfandoms]

Tired: The Jedi failed because they did not keep up with the times.

Wired: The Jedi were easier to sabotage because they did not keep up with the fast moving gossip or run their own PR, making it easier for Palpatine and Dooku to run anti-Jedi propaganda.

Inspired: Palpatine would have lost if Anakin had set up a YouHolo/HoloTube channel about being a Jedi when he first arrived at the temple.

[anythinggoesfandoms]

TimeTravel Anakin creates SpaceAmong Us

Okay but imagine this

Anakin has time travelled to before the Jedi found him/just after.

If he's going to successfully thwart Palpatine he's going to need funds.

What he has is: 1-2 droids, himself, mechanic skills, piloting skills, coding skills, and vivid detailed memories of several decades of high drama living.

So Anakin conscripts his droids - and other droids he can build/collect along the way - fudges his way to a bank account and creates a ...video game company. Because he's not great with words but he can correct the droids when they render locations wrong. And, okay, it's probably good Padme named the twins because sure "Ken Benobi", "Kinian, Leela, & Lucas Starkiller", "Anime Padidala" and "Emperor Porpoiseine" are maybe not the most creative names, but they work.

He makes a narrative game about defeating the empire based on Luke's destruction of the death star. It does okay.

Then he remembers that one time the entire Executor went paranoid because there were definitely rebel imposters onboard but they didn't know who ...and creates a multiplayer game of that premise. It's a smash hit.

He keeps making games once brought to the temple (as well as patenting and producing all that lovely future tech he has mental schematics of - if the Jedi must run they will have the best ships, guns, and tons of funds). Some are of his and Obi Wan's adventures. Most are Clone Wars or Imperial era to give him the veneer of "any likeness to real people is unintentional".

It's also hilarious to him to watch the Jedi get more and more freaked out trying to figure out how this mystery game dev knows so much about them as proven with characters like "Yoga" and "Maykes Windoow". Especially because the Jedi assigned to study the games for clues are kind of ...playing a lot. Maybe too much gaming. No, Qui-Gon, not "just one more level" you are recovering from near death and need to rest.

Meanwhile in the fan servers people are starting to notice this company's evil emperor character seems to have done a lot of the things the Chancellor is currently doing.

[anythinggoesfandoms]

look when i say anakin needed therapy i don't mean the jedi weren't like therapy i mean he needed to be taken off active duty until therapy jedi time helped

palpatine kept the jedi in the war and anakin on missions so he couldn't do regular therapy ok

[anythinggoesfandoms]

Vaguely recall hearing that Lucas said Anakin got his scar from a bathtub incident.

Imagine being Obi Wan when that happens.

Imagine your recently knighted padawan rushed in to see the temple healers during a war and being told that he nearly lost an eye and it will scar.

And then finding out the enemy that did it was a bath tub.

The panic! The dread! The relief! The flat what. The exasperation! The sinking realisation that you are in love with an idiot! The adorable way he turns very very red whenever the padawans and initiates giggle as they walk by, because the whole temple knows The Hero With No Fear was defeated by a bath tub!

[anythinggoesfandoms]

Ye Olde Did The Jedi Need Reforms Debate

Yes, but not the way you think.

Palpatine and Plaguis and whoever came before Plaguis, etc, had been slowly fucking over the rules on how the Jedi and the Senate interact for centuries.

So no, the Jedi code does not need reform. The Jedi philosophy does not need reform.

But the legalese of how the Jedi and the Senate and the law interact by the time Anakin gets there? That needs a major reform run by a anti-corruption committee whose sole job is to go through the precidents and recent changes and so forth and undo all the fucking things up the Sith did.

But, again, that's not really a reform of the Jedi - it's a reform of the Senate and the way they interact with the Jedi. Because the Senate should not be able to conscript their ambassadorial/neutral negotiator/red cross department to be part of the military. And that's not on the Jedi. That's on the Senate.

At most the Jedi themselves need to realise that their good deeds don't speak for themselves when they're being hit with a smear campaign (which, again, is the fault of the Sith and possibly the Senate) and maybe send report cards back to the families who send their kids to Jedi school but want to know how they're doing. (While very carefully avoiding giving any abusive parents access to their kids - it's a boarding school. Security matters.)

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This fandom has a lot of the Disaster Lineage

and only so much of Eldritch Trio

But you know what it's tragically lacking? ELDRITCH DISASTER LINEAGE.

Whether via Mortis arc or just Anakin's natural half-force demigod weirdness starting to spill over, becoming Eldritch Abominations would in no way make these wonderful disasters any less a bunch of dumbasses.

They can melt moons with their minds, but they also think the caf pot is the right place to try to make noodles.

[anythinggoesfandoms]

Headcanon: sometimes Jedi talk directly to the Force and they're just ...talking. Out loud. Sometimes in a skyward direction. Sometimes elsewhere. Just clearly not at anyone else around. And not like polite or prayerfully or anything. Like "where is it? where - oh, there it is, thank you!", "are you karking serious?", "So what do you think?", "is this a good idea? My master said it was, but I wanted to check with you", "You couldn't have told me this earlier?", "Suuure we'll go into the creepy cave just because you said it's fine, not like we have massively different understandings of what fine means", "Hey, could you pass me that? ...Thanks", "Meddle I will not, if meddle you do not", etc.

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Lego Star Wars: makes the younglings unkillable

Me: starts wondering about unkillable youngling AUs where force sensitives cannot die until they reach physical maturity (which in humans is at least 22).

Like

Padme: There's got to be a better way to get the parts we need! Ani could die!

Qui Gon: He'll walk it off

bb!Anakin: zooms by in a podracer that is literally on fire and explodes as soon as he crosses the finish line

...

Palpatine: Join me and I can help you save your children!

Anakin: Err... what about Padme?

Palpatine: Yes, yes, her too but first I need you to go to the Jedi temple and kill everyone. Even the younglings.

Anakin: ...You know, chancellor, this is a really unfunny joke. I know you just want me to stop stressing, but pretending to be a Sith lord? Pretending there's a way to kill younglings? It's just not on, dude. You could at least have given me a task that was possible.