apelcini

[apelcini]

#this is a trap #q :-) #mammalia

[apelcini]

#v #oh god i’m grieving

[apelcini]

#ah yes. backwaters such as atlanta georgia #q :-)

[apelcini]

Inspection of those Feratu

#mammalia #q :-)

[apelcini]

see this is like the opposite of my experience as a jewish archaeology major because i’ve been at a church service once ever when i was four but i know a TON about christianity from an empirical perspective, sometimes more than christian laymen do. y’all’re experiencing a high i can only hopelessly chase by being full of shit and convincing people that just because I’m jewish that means it’s possible i can grow up in north virginia and still have never heard of jesus. it’s the funniest thing on earth i wish i knew less about christianity because new testament archaeology is insane sometimes. there are trained scientists running around working under the assumption that WAY more of the bible is historically accurate than we have any reason to believe, as if ancient judean accounts have much of a track record of accuracy especially compared to other contemporaries like ancient egypt or rome. people are digging up two separate bethlehems looking for the birthplace of jesus meanwhile all we have for the nativity is two conflicting accounts from substantially later and zero evidence for a roman tax census making people go back to their parents’ house, and if this whole thing weren’t tied to jesus and written in the bible no decent scientist would think we can base any assumptions off this, much less excavations. you wanna know a fun bible archaeology fact? the best evidence we have for crucifixion is an ankle bone with a nail in it and the angle of the nail suggests that jesus wasn’t crucified on an upright t shaped cross but on an x shaped cross. like a bdsm dungeon. so all the paintings are wrong and have fun with that one. man i wish i knew less about christianity. i fucking wish i thought this was evangelion.

Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.

#this is long but i figured you all might appreciate being forced to share in the horrors with me #q :-) #jew tag

[apelcini]

mom come pick me up they’re explaining opposable toes as a human evolution vocabulary term and they haven’t even mentioned the inline hallux

i’m fucking slogging through this anthropology 101 class and the problem is that i already know… pretty much all of the material through independent study but in college you’re not allowed to get credits by saying “i̇ already know all of the material source just trust me dude” and all the other classes where i’d actually learn something have this as a prerequisite so instead I’m just sitting here going “this textbook just spent 5 pages explaining the faults in linnaeus’s transformational evolution and it hasn’t even mentioned epigenetics” and then ten pages later they mention epigenetics and spend forever explaining it and then they do a summary of the same chimpanzee warfare behaviors i mentioned in my last discussion post but they don’t even mention gombe, and i am so bored

[apelcini]

i’m fucking slogging through this anthropology 101 class and the problem is that i already know… pretty much all of the material through independent study but in college you’re not allowed to get credits by saying “i̇ already know all of the material source just trust me dude” and all the other classes where i’d actually learn something have this as a prerequisite so instead I’m just sitting here going “this textbook just spent 5 pages explaining the faults in linnaeus’s transformational evolution and it hasn’t even mentioned epigenetics” and then ten pages later they mention epigenetics and spend forever explaining it and then they do a summary of the same chimpanzee warfare behaviors i mentioned in my last discussion post but they don’t even mention gombe, and i am so bored

[apelcini]

*Indeed, when writing a textbook it is important to start every sentence with the word “indeed,”.

when writing a textbook don’t forget to start every sentence with “indeed,”

#elijah dot thought

[apelcini]

when writing a textbook don’t forget to start every sentence with “indeed,”

[apelcini]

tevye is such a quintessential jewish dad because he spends the entire play loudly talking about how he’s in control around here and then the results he has to show for it are three daughters married, only one of those three ever had any engagement arranged and it wasn’t even the guy she married, and even the one failed arranged engagement was actually chosen by his wife and when he wanted to disagree with it he had to make up a story like “honey I’m with you 100% on this engagement it’s evil spirits holding me at gunpoint forcing me to disagree with you”

#fiddler on the roof #elijah dot thought #jewish dads are so passive (affectionate)

[apelcini]

disabled people what’s that pipe dream job/activity/whatever you have where it’s like “i would LOVE to do this if my body wasn’t so shitty in this way”? i would do movie stunts like being lit on fire and falling off of balconies in a very controlled and planned way… if i didn’t have such terrible joints that my jaw semi-dislocates if i yawn too hard

#elijah dot thought #I WANNA DO STUNTS SO BAD #i forget how to tag this. and honestly I’m too lazy to do the remembering

[apelcini]

happy march 2024 bitch

t shirt that says “I SURVIVED FEBRUARY”

#queued post

[apelcini]

yeah i watch (vfx artists on the internet breaking down all the nerdy technical shit in the movies without even watching the actual) movies

#elijah dot thought

[apelcini]

ah yes taffonomy the study of all sweets and treats that are sticky and tricky

#elijah dot thought

[apelcini]

the way we as usamericans hallow war graves above all others is weird and frankly kinda disturbing. these sites aren’t sacred because they hold the remains of a soldier who died for their country but because they hold the remains of a person, who felt and thought as much as any of us. we don’t respect the bones of people who died as “the enemy” because they too were a soldier who died for their country but because they too were a person, a person who had people who loved them who want closure and that’s just as true of a lost fighter pilot as it is of a sinking cargo ship and just as true of a prisoner of war as it is a serial killer’s unidentified victim. you can be anti-war and still respect war graves because you can be anti-war because we should find other ways to resolve conflicts besides leaving actual human people in twisted pieces of metal at the bottom of the ocean and charred collapsed basements and billions of pieces in ruined cities, and this is also why you should care about building codes iand effective evacuation systems and medical infrastructure and transportation oversight because nobody should die falling out of the sky in a giant fireball be they soldier or civilian, during war or peace, and every time that happens it’s tragic because that’s a shitty way to go. and I’m sorry to everyone whose loved ones went to kill other people’s loved ones in foreign lands and never came back because grief is hard, but it’s really visible how much this reverence of war graves is used as an emotionally-laden diversion to keep everyone from seeing that these deaths are all as needlessly tragic as an airliner crash. i just wish usamericans could fucking care about people dying outside of this weird self-congratulatory hero worship circlejerk we’ve got going.

#elijah dot thought #oof we got a controversial one here this is guaranteed to get me on the wrong side of leftists right wingers and centrists alike #no nuance november #I’m trying to be less full of rage over injustice. not because rage is inherently bad but because it’s not healthy for me personally #sometimes people are bad people who hurt others but why should their death be miserable and painful? that doesn’t actually do anything #also yes i know soldiers commit war crimes against civilians. that’s bad and shouldn’t happen yeah

[apelcini]

you don’t actually have to be that good a person to go to heaven. you just have to be a better person than half of the roughly 4.3 people born at the same exact moment as you. it’s all a relative game. it’s a league tournament and you’re being pitted against a select few random people. you better hope that the rest of those unfortunate bastards are all child soldiers or russian government thugs and that none of them died before their skull fused (because everyone who dies with a fontanelle automatically goes to heaven)

coming up with a list of stupid possibilities for heaven purgatory and hell because I’m jewish and don’t believe in any of it. anyway i think heaven is a giant blue field of clouds where you get to ride giant horseshoe crabs with the emotional capabilities of elephants and you get to joust your friends forever with poles with pool noodles shoved on them so that they only leave bruises if you’re a wuss :-)

#elijah dot thought

[apelcini]

i love that amazon prime lets you watch one (1) episode of star trek tos for free before you have to pay for it and then it’s the one with the weird rough draft characters whose actors (except for leonard nimoy) all refused to do a single other episode. amazing. iconic. hilarious. beyond parody. i wasn’t paying for this in the first place i was leeching off my shitty ex-roommate’s account but this is a disgrace I’m taking my money to a pirating site where i can get proper service

#star trekking #man you can’t seriously tell me it’s the 23rd century and we still haven’t eliminated casual misogyny. dystopian #ITS 2222 AND BLONDE HAIRED BLUE EYED PEOPLE ARE STILL CONSIDERED HOT? I CALL BULLSHIT