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I wish you’d let me
Sink my teeth into your neck
Or maybe
Watch you suffocate instead
And have you grow obsessed
Possessed
Writhe in love, anxious and stressed
Vie for me with zero rest
I’d know then that you love me best
We’d lay in bed all day undressed
A lovers’ nest
Our bodies pressed
Your mouth around my breast
Cherry bruises on your chest
The sheets all messed
The rest you’ve guessed
My crazy is subtle, suppressed
I only half jest
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A mental white noise strips me dim
Exhaustion feeds on every limb
Lifeless here I suffer muted
A stagnant mind, all spent and looted
I only want to lie still
Decompose into the floorboards
So someday I can sprout anew
Green shoots reaching for the endless blue
When I’m reborn, I would live freely
Enjoy the sun if I so will it
Feel the soil with my feet
I think that’s really all I need
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I am an empty vessel
Please pour into me
Fill me to the brim
With your affection
Find my bottom
That which was
Strange and uncharted
Dismissed as endless
By those exhausted
In the search
And if it trickles out
Through cracks and pinholes
Pour faster yet
Patch as you go
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Darling,
Don’t be surprised to see me
Dig into my pulsing flesh
Let the wind into my entrails
Splay my ribcage open wide
A bloom of gore turned inside out
My heart left gaping
For the taking
Of course I’ll love you
With no walls
I begged to meet you
At any cost
Touch my insides
Don’t be repulsed
I may be soulless
But never heartless
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I kissed your ass for so long
You now think it's golden
Your ego is flared
And you are emboldened
In knowing that I will never leave
That I will always forgive
As long as I live
No matter how little you give
You bring guns to a fight
But all I do is just write
My past isn't white
I never walked in the light
You don't let me forget
That I'm tainted with blight
When you only want me at night
I lie to myself and say it's alright
Even if you never call me your wife
I'd sooner filet my heart with a knife
Than betray the man
Who gave me life
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It's laughable
That you ignite over crumbs
While I've been slowly burning
For years
Silently eating dish after dish
Of disrespect
I made peace with your demons
Tomorrow is a new day
Like clockwork I'll
Drop on my knees
Open my mouth
And swallow what you give me
Because that's what I know
What I deserve
What I understand
I'll thank you as I wipe my lips
Smile
And shyly ask for praise
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Now is the winter
Of our discontent
With no sun
In sight
I am fatigued from feeling
Solid sadness
A sleeve of pain
On a worn out heart
I miss the you you aren’t
The am I was before
When I could give myself
And be cared for back
What novel torture
To feel lonelier together
Than alone
But the relief of tears
Won’t come
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It swings like a pendulum
Taking a toll
You are so nice
Yet not nice at all
Fickle and spiteful
Like nettles your temper
Burns an old victim
Demanding surrender
In seconds it blazes
A raging wildfire
Unruly it razes
And only climbs higher
You’re cruel and dismiss me
It all falls apart
And I like a fool
Take it to heart
Rather than fight you
I’ll go be alone
So fuck off and burn
On your own
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