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aprill-99 · 20 hours
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I like the expression new-fangled. I don't know what it means for something to be fangled, but I sure as hell know it was recent
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aprill-99 · 1 day
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affirmations for when you have to send emails
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aprill-99 · 2 days
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nearly all libraries have a ghost, but medical libraries frequently have a ghost and a skeleton
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aprill-99 · 2 days
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Historically, France has agreed to quite a lot on the promise it’d piss off England.
sick of “scottish independence” this and “irish reunification” that
theres 3 of us and 1 of england
i say we just kick the english out the uk
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aprill-99 · 3 days
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"When life gives you lemons" FALSE LEMONS ARE A HYBRID OF A BITTER ORANGE AND A CITRON, MEANING WE GAVE OURSELVES LEMONS
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aprill-99 · 4 days
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me: chat what do we think
the angel and devil on my shoulders: can you not call us that please
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aprill-99 · 4 days
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my god you're fucked: the lady at the help desk just went to ask someone else for help with your issue and everyone's got a confused look on
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aprill-99 · 4 days
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The Doctor and The Master implies a third, less prestigious renegade timelord named The Bachelor
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aprill-99 · 4 days
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"can I be mean for a sec?" Is a sacred statement made by girls when they are about to reveal their most deep rooted self
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aprill-99 · 4 days
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Iroh: she’s got talent, charm, beauty, courage…and you’re just friends?
Katara and Zuko look at each other
Zuko: yes uncle..
Iroh: I didn’t raise you very well.
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aprill-99 · 5 days
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Shakespeare: So, in Macbeth, the forest doesn't actually move, it's just an army holding branches
C.S. Lewis & J.R.R. Tolkien: And we took that personally
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aprill-99 · 5 days
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You know, it's kinda funny how much of high fantasy centers around kings and nobility and courtly intrigue considering that the archetypal high fantasy, Lord of the Rings, had the rather explicit moral of "saving the world is up to this backwater hick and his gardener because no politician, least of all inherited nobility, would have the ability to see past their own ambition and throw away a weapon". Oh sure, Aragorn is a great king and all, but there's a reason he's over there running a distraction ring while the hobbits do the real work. Sauron loses because he gets distracted by kings and armies and great battles (i.e. typical high fantasy stuff) letting Frodo and Sam sneak through his back door and blow it all to hell.
Just saying, maybe old Jirt knew what he was saying when he said that the small folk doing their best and holding to each other was more powerful than a dozen alliances and superweapons and we should respect him for it.
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aprill-99 · 5 days
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“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”
— Vincent Van Gogh
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aprill-99 · 5 days
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in a medieval groupchat nobody would make fun of your typo they would just assume that its a new spelling youre going with and roll with it
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aprill-99 · 6 days
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“Fuck it, we slay” (heavy eye bags, dehydrated, on the verge of insanity)
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aprill-99 · 6 days
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A missed opportunity
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aprill-99 · 6 days
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Ideal work schedule:
I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks
I complete the list
I leave immedietly
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