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Working at the sex shop really did rewire my brain. There was basically no topic that was too taboo to talk about, and what little propriety I’d had evaporated. I’d be out walking and chatting with friends about erotica I’d had to read that day only to be shushed and realize people were staring at me.

It always struck me as a little bit silly but I learned to curb myself for others comfort levels. Mostly.

But I have one distinct memory of decorating holiday cookies with my parents and my grandmother. My mom had worked in a sex shop back in her day, and I never hid my line of work from my family, so I was telling a work story.

I was conscious that my dad was slightly more sensitive, so I was using pretty broad descriptions, but I happened to mention silicone lube and my nana asked, “What’s that?”

I went into full sales mode. Focused on the little reindeer cookie I was decorating I started info dumping, “Oh, it’s pretty great. Water based lubricants get absorbed through vaginal mucous membranes, but silicone is too dense and our body can’t absorb it the same way. So once you apply some silicone you never have to worry about chafing, and a little goes a long way. It’s especially popular with older women, because they start producing less natural lubricant and absorb water based lubes so quickly.”

There was a silent beat after this statement.

I looked up.

My mom and grandmother were looking at me with rapt attention, and I belatedly realized I was addressing two older women who probably would welcome extra lubrication.

And then there was my dad, blushing so pink with embarrassment that I thought he was about to faint.

“I can talk about something else,” I offered in apology to my dad.

“Like hell! He can go in the other room, tell me more!” My nana declared. My dad scampered off to busy himself in another room while I answered their questions and talked about brands and pricing.

I slipped them each a small bottle of silicone lube for the holidays.

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i have decided to do a poll for fun because of a video im watching while im eating

for those curious i started playing during 1.6!! i played the demo worlds of the game on the minecraft.net website before my parents bought it for me

#alpha baby!!!! i got it a bit before they released the nether halloween update!!!

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dude omegaverse AUs are lowkey insanely sex positive because 90% of everything revolves around sex and everyone is completely fine with it like imagine taking a week off work to get railed to hell and back and your coworkers being 100% okay with it there's no gossip or drama or anything just mark from HR getting his guts rearranged nonstop tuesday through saturday and coming back to work on monday with a fresh bitemark on his neck and meeting his colleagues for lunch like nothing happened what a LIFE

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The flip side of the post-World War II cries of “Never again” was an unspoken “Never before.” The insistence on lifting the Holocaust out of history, the failure to recognize these patterns, and the refusal to see where the Nazis fit inside the arc of colonial genocides have all come at a high cost. The countries that defeated Hitler did not have to confront the uncomfortable fact that Hitler had taken pointers and inspiration on race-making and on human containment from them, leaving their innocence not only undisturbed but also significantly strengthened by what was indeed a righteous victory.

Naomi Klein, Doppelganger

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censorship

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having really fucked up kinks is actually just a really fun time btw

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I know this is horrible but this comment was left on a true crime youtube video and I cannot stop laughing. 

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I do sort of wish western anime fans would analyze anime and manga from a framework of japanese historical and cultural context. Specifically a lot of works from the 90s being influenced by the general aimlessness and ennui that a lot of people were experiencing due to the burst in the bubble economy and the national trauma caused by the sarin terrorist attack. I think in interacting with media that’s not local to our sociocultural/sociopolitical sphere it’s easy to forget that it’s influenced and shaped by the same kinds of factors that influence media within our own cultural dome and there ends up being this baseline misalignment of perception between the causative elements of a narrative and viewer interpretation of those elements. It’s a form of death of the author that i think, in some measure, hinders our ability to fully understand/come to terms with creator intent and the full scope of a work’s merits

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Not gonna say it again

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3 seconds into dungeon meshi and they’re already living my dream. i love eating things I ought not in unfamiliar ecosystems

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I was at a courthouse once, and saw an indigenous australian woman in a dressing gown very carefully and gingerly making her way down the steps outside the courthouse, surrounded by family who were helping her down the stairs. We asked if she was OK, because she looked awful. She looked like she should have been wrapped up in bed with blankets and hot soup, not on the steps of a courthouse.

One of her family told us that she had given birth yesterday evening, but that Child Protection services had taken her baby away with no warning, claiming that she wasnt prepared to look after him. What had happened, is that she'd literally only just given birth -- hadn't even passed the afterbirth yet, is holding her blood-coated, crying, newborn baby to her chest -- and a nurse asked what her feeding plan was. She was tired from the birth and distracted by the brand new baby in her arms and thrown off by the timing of the question, but still, she managed to answer, and said she planned to breastfeed him whenever he was hungry.

Well apparently that wasn't enough of a plan for the hospital staff, who reported her and claimed that she was unprepared to look after the child, and claimed that had no social supports, and that the baby was at risk if left with her. All because a brand new mother, 30 seconds after giving birth, didn't have a PowerPoint presentation ready to go that cited the timing cycle she would feed her kid on, and instead simply said that she would feed him when he was hungry.

Child Protection services showed up, took her kid, and she was told to show up to court the next day to contest custody if she wanted her baby back.

So a woman who had given birth less than 24 hours prior was forced to rally her family and show up to court to prove that she a) had a feeding plan for the child, and b) had enough social supports to justify reclaiming her baby.

It was one of the most appalling things I'd ever seen. I don't even know if she won her case. They didn't know at the time we saw them, and after that brief interaction on the stairs, i never saw them again. I sincerely hope she got her newborn baby back.

That was about 5 years ago. And the exact same kind of thing is still happening today.

News broke today from a South Australian whistle-blower of the appalling treatment new mothers frequently receive, including hospital staff taking the baby away from the mother "for medical tests," only for the mother to then be told, with absolutely no prior warning, that the baby was not going to be returned to her.

Here's the article, and here are some excerpts:

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Saw someone mention the new Boston Dynamics' robot was introduced like a Souls boss. Was not expecting it to come out so creepy.

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Going to add a maybe controversial thing but:

Women who are attracted to men but also don't like penetrative sex - and I'm definitely + explicitly + it's very much the point including vaginal penetrative sex here - are also perfectly within their rights to have that boundary and to have it respected.

Straight or bisexual women, cis or trans women, doesn't matter - I feel like womanhood is often equated with enjoying penetration. But it's not. Your identity doesn't dictate what you like sexually. And what you like sexually doesn't dictate your identity.

And I think especially for women who are attracted to men, enjoying penetrative sex is considered such a must that many of us don't even question it - to the point that a) not wanting it is considered a medical issue by itself and b) with many medical complications or conditions or even psychological reasons that someone might find vaginal penetration painful, the first concern is often not even to fix the underlying issue or even to make that kind of sex pleasurable - but to make her "functional" for her partner again. (Prized example: The husband-stitch. Generally, I hear so often from women whose partners got impatient with their recovery after they gave birth and who felt pressured to have vaginal sex before they felt like it.)

So I just want to say:

Womanhood does not equal enjoying penetration.

Being AFAB doesn't equal enjoying penetration.

Being attracted to men doesn't equal enjoying penetration.

What you enjoy sexually is not a matter of your identity. It's only a matter of what you enjoy and what you and your partner(s) genuinely want to do.

And actually, yes, this specifically goes out to heterosexual cis women in particular: Even if you never ever ever want to have vaginal penetrative sex - that's perfectly fine. You are perfectly within your rights to have that boundary. And no man has any right to force you. And calling you "uptight" or "vanilla" or "weird" or "but you own a dildo" or "It'll be good with me, I swear!" - that's a way of forcing you. He has two options a) accept your boundary and find a different way to have sex b) accept your boundary and go home.

If there is an underlying medical issue like cysts or if you have vaginismus that diminishes your quality of life - of course I recommend seeing a doctor. And if you have experienced trauma, I recommend therapy. All of which should be focussed on helping you with the things that you deem important - and not what your partner or a potential partner deems important.

But if you simply just don't want to have penetrative sex - then don't. Nothing is wrong with you. No one has any right to force you.

We often say "don't do anal if you don't want to", "don't do oral if you don't want to" - and those are very, very true! But I feel like we don't say "don't do vaginal if you don't want to" or "don't have penetrative sex at all if you don't want to" often enough to women - because it's such an expectation that everyone would enjoy it.

And also, you don't owe anyone an explanation. Sometimes, trauma is a reason - but if you have experienced trauma, you're not obligated to tell your partner the details of it to justify not wanting to have that kind of sex. "No" is a full sentence. Sometimes the fear of pregnancy or contraception failing is a reason - and that's also to be respected.

And if you don't have any reason related to trauma or a medical condition - you're still perfectly within your rights to have that boundary respected. Sex is supposed to feel good for both partners involved. And any partner who doesn't care about your boundaries or pressures you - is for the streets. Gotta go. Is an ex. Shoo. Out. Over.

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The count of Skingrad in oblivion has apparently been a vampire for 50 years and supposedly nobody in his city has picked up on it yet. I don’t believe that. He’s perfectly healthy and doesn’t have the appearance of a blood starved vampire so obviously he’s spending his nights biting necks. You do that almost every night for 50 years in the same city someone is gonna catch on eventually. Someone is gonna open their eyes at the wrong time when you’ve got your back turned.

My theory is that everyone in town knows but nobody in town says anything because he’s actually doing a decent job and in a world where the count and countess of Leyawiin are torturing beast folk to death for fun I think the people of skingrad are willing to give a cup of blood once in a while if that means they get to live in a semi-functioning city.