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No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Event: Whump- The Musical
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Characters: Charlie Morningstar, Alastor, Vaggie
Warnings: Genocide (Canonical), Self-Doubt
Prompt Used: Day 2 - The song referenced + Mob Mentality (mentioned) + Propaganda (implied)
Have fun! Story under the cut <3
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
„No!“, she screamed. Her voice spiralling into an unholy shriek, as she threw herself at the golden door. Charlie hit it repeatedly, while not stopping to scream. She just couldn´t stop herself. And why should she?
„How dare you! How can you do this!“ Her voice broke, as a sob escaped her throat. Another angry shriek, as she threw her entire weight against the door now, hoping against all odds, that this would be enough for it to open again. To give her the chance to negotiate for the redemption of all her friends once more. To make them see sense. For her to achieve that her friends were given the mercy they were in desperate need of!
„Charlie?“ Vaggie had never sounded so afraid. Not even when Charlie had found her in that alley, still bleeding and shaking, when she needed her help to even stand up. „Are you alright?“, a gentle hand was laid on Charlies shoulder.
„Am I alright?“, she whirled around, slapping away the hand, staring at the other. At the angel, that had deceived her from the first moment. At this being who had slaughtered countless of sinners. Charlie let out a humourless laugh. „Am I alright!“
She started to pace. „How could I be alright!“ She pointed a finger at Vaggie, not even noticing, that her fingernails had grown sharper in her agitation, forming the claws she always tried so hard to suppress. It was something she needed to do, to appear more harmless, to appear kinder. Just another thing, she always needed to keep track of. Otherwise people would never believe in her idea. Most thinking of it as ludicrous anyway.
„Were you even listening!“, Charlie cried. „They are coming down to kill us all! Am I alright?! No! Why would I be! They trusted me!“, she gasped, „They trusted in me!“ Her voice broke again, warping her last word into a helpless sob.
Her voice now more akin to a growl, than anything else. She tried to quiet down, when she saw one of the sinners, that were just passing by, flinch. They didn´t even know where the sound had come from. And why would they? Charlie, just like her father, had always tried so hard to appear as kind. As more human, than they really were. No matter what they were truly like. But she was failing at it in the moment. In the same manner that she had failed in every other aspect.
Another helpless cry tore its way out of her throat anyway, as she started to run back to the hotel. She ignored Vaggie, who was running after her, shouting at her to wait, to slow down, to „Please talk to me!“
There was one last hope, that had settled into her mind. After all, she was the same kind of creature, that her father was. Her mother known as a witch. Her father an angel. Wasn´t there some book of spells that they had gifted her some centuries ago? Maybe, she would be find something useful in there. Some way to stop heaven from coming down here, and kill her people.
She took no notice of the sinners jumping out of her way, as she raced down the street or of Vaggie trying to keep up with her. Still calling out to her, growing more and more frantic, the longer Charlie refused to react, and yet still not receiving any answer.
Charlie ignored it all.
Take the corner at the left, third right, straight ahead, right again at the weird statue, side step the drunk, sharp left, run up the pathway to the hotel.
Barrelling through the door of the hotel, she took no notice of how Angel Dust and Husker jumped out of her way. How Nifty nearly got kicked across the room by her, and Sir Pretentious unceremoniously shoved aside. She ran past Alastor, who had bemused smile on his face, as he got interrupted in the middle of his greeting once more, reminiscent of his first introduction to the hotel.
The faint „What´s up with her?“ from Angel Dust, didn´t even reach her ears. Just as she didn´t hear Vaggies poor attempt at explaining her erratic behaviour.
Charlies focus was centred around the attic. She needed to get up there as quickly as she could! This hotel might still have a chance of being saved.
Boxes over boxes greeted her, when she finally climbed up to the attic. Immediately she started to rip into them. One of those contained the book she needed. Glasses, blankets and old pictures. All those things were carelessly thrown to the side. She simply couldn´t spare the patience to treat them the care they needed at this moment.
Finally, she pulled the old book out of its hiding place.
Instead of racing down to her room, like she had originally planned, she sat down on the ground. A wave of dust billowing up around her, as she started to quickly page through the book.
It was filled with an abundance of strange symbols. Charlie tried to twist her tongue around them, but realizing soon, that this would be useless. She simply couldn´t understand what was written down in there. The language too far from her grasp, even if she simply tried to sound the words out.
Her reluctance to learn, when her father had offered to teach her years ago, was coming back to bite her in the worst possible moment.
This might just be something that was far beyond what she could do. But if she didn´t even try, who would. Who would step up to the angels? To heaven? Who would protect her people from their cruel fate? From what these damn angels planned for them?
Her father? He had already given up centuries ago. His hopelessness had cost him the fight before it had even begun. Her fathers opinion of the sinners, had already clouded his decision when he allowed the angels to come down in the first place. The teachings, heaven had instilled in him far too strong to rise up against them a second time. And if he ever did again, he would never do it in protection of the sinners.
Her mother? Who had deserted them all seven years ago? Charlie knew, that against all hope she still harboured, that her mothers song were unlikely to ever return to hell. There wouldn´t be another song to get the people to rise up as one entity. The only way, they maybe could have had a chance of beating the overwhelming force that heaven was sending down upon them.
She laughed dryly, whispering quietly „One more disaster, I can add to my generous supply“
Charlie was fully aware, that whatever happened next: The responsibility of it was laying on her shoulders. The king and queen of hell, not willing to step in any more. So she had needed to do it as their princess.
But her attempt had failed spectacularly. Her idea of redemption being laughed at, as impossible in both heaven and hell. And now she had brought the angels back onto her doorstep as well.
Was this her punishment? Was she more like her father, than she had ever even thought in the first place. An old saying, her father had sometimes whispered to her „Pride goes before the fall“ to warn her of hubris, came to mind.
Had the idea of the hotel, of sinners redeeming themselves, been nothing more than her hubris, for which she was getting punished now.
Was this somehow all her fault?
With a sob, she threw the book to the side, pulling her knees up to her chest, as she started to cry once more in earnest. Curling into herself, she didn´t notice the shadows shifting behind her. They were wrapping themselves around her, as if they were attempting to hide her even further away.
Charlie couldn´t believe that all of this happened, because she wanted to help. All she ever wanted was to help.
Angel Dust, who was such a gentle and heart-warming person, once you got to see behind his mask. Husker, who always was there for everyone if they needed somebody to talk to and always offered his advice. Sir Pretentious, who was, even she had to admit, somewhat a wuss, but still willing to step into a fight to help his allies and always well-meaning.
Even Vaggie, who had betrayed her trust. She had always been there for Charlie. Fighting to protect her dream with all she had.
Charlie had brought the angels right to them, because she though she could change the way things were being run. Stupid, stupid girl.
She sobbed again.
With the way, that she was crying, she completely missed the sound of the door being opened, or the tapping of dress shoes slowly approaching her. Every little tap almost sounding like hooves hitting the wood.
Though what she couldn´t ignore, was a surprisingly gentle hand petting her hair. The tips of sharp claws, barely scratching her skull. They were nothing more than a faint warning any more, of what they might be capable off, but at the moment utterly harmless.
„Now, now little princess. Enough of that!“
She looked up at the demon, that had come to crouch down in front of her. Alastors smile was as permanent as always, but somehow it felt more forced than usual. He had tilted his head to the side, as he watched her closely.
Charlie sniffled and wiped her tears away. The radio demon didn´t stop petting her, though at this point, she could recognize, that the motion felt kind of mechanical. Nothing more than a imitation of affection.
She looked closer at the other, truly looking at another person, since receiving the refusal from heaven, that had dammed all of hell.
„One question haunts me, and it hurts to even think about it. It feels like everything is too much.“, Charlie mumbled, opening up to Alastor. Finally, spelling out what was racing through her mind.
He just raised one eyebrow. The sound of radio static, that always surrounded him, growing a bit more quiet. It was obvious to her, that he was waiting for her to continue.
„Was I really seeking good or just seeking attention?“
Charlie looked away from him, when she didn´t immediately got an answer from him. Doubt was flooding her mind again.
Faintly, she wondered if there was even such a thing as a good deed. She had grown up in the pits of hell. But what really send her mind racing was the state of heaven. The angels apparently saw the annual slaughtering of her people as a recreational activity. Something they did for fun. Killing was nothing more than a bit of fun for them.
If this was how the righteous and the holy were, was there even anything approaching goodness in the world?
„What a loaded question, my sweet!“ Alastor laughter was warped with his static, as he just grapped Charlies arm to simply pull her back onto her feet. He was still chuckling to himself, as he first dusted of her shoulders, and then his own hands.
Walking away a few steps, he picked up the spell book. Carefully smoothing out its broken spine. Charlie must have accidentally broken it, when she threw it. She waited for Alastor to continue, but he wasn´t coming forth with any answer, instead he simply turned to her and smiled. His canines almost shining.
„Well, what do you think?“, she pushed. Not willing to bear the silence for a moment longer.
„That this is exactly why I came to this hotel in the first place. Your idea was insane, and I was just waiting for you to fail!“ He hummed slightly, his attention being captured by the book, as he slowly started to page through it.
„What the hell?!“ She was getting angry.
At Alastor, who acted like all of this had no other outcome, than what was happening at the moment.
At Vaggie for lying to her all these months. No. Since the start of their relationship.
At heaven, who kept sending angels down to hell, to cull her peoples population, without even caring if there was any other way.
At Adam in particular, who was leading the charge.
But most importantly, she was getting angry at herself, for already having give up so easily.
Charlie started to pace, trying to find a way out of this mess. But no matter, how she approached it, she just couldn´t find a way.
„Interesting what you have here, princess.“
She spared another look at Alastor, who was still paging through the book, but it had slowed down. It almost seemed like- But no, that couldn´t be...
„Do you actually know what this says?“
„Oh yes. Not like it´s hard, now is it? Wouldn´t you agree, princess?“
Charlie just slowly shook her head. Certainly not agreeing with the radio demon. Her pacing slowed, as a sudden thought entered her mind. It made her take a closer look at Alastor.
Alastor, who was the radio demon. One of the most powerful overlords in hell. Certainly experienced in fighting his way to the top. Cruel and gruesome. But undeniably, one of the few which seemed to win every time.
Maybe she had been approaching, the defence of the hotel all wrong. Of course, she wouldn´t find another way. She already had tried all, that she could. At least, if she was still trying to be kind and gentle.
Maybe she needed to approach it differently. Not as someone who wanted to show her people, that kindness was possible even in a bleak place like this. But as the princess of hell.
„Help me“, she demanded. A plan slowly forming in her mind, that might just work.
„What?“
„You need to help me Alastor!“
„Not asking, are you princess“, he chuckled. Finally, he looked up from the book, staring at Charlie instead.
„No. I am not! I will defend this hotel and it´s residents with all I have. And you will help me!“ She had decided to do this now, and there was no way, that she would move from her position at this point.
„If they want a fight with the princess of hell, they will get it. O but I can promise them, if it comes to it, then no good deed will I do again.“, she growled this conviction out. At once the shadows in the attic started to violently twist.
„Willing to make a deal?“, the demon in front of her asked, his voice almost joking. But she could see, his magic coming to life, as it swirled around the two of them. Charlie took a deep breath, as she simply stepped forwards and shook his hand. In response, a loud static screech echoed through the air, as Alastors smile seemed to grow impossibly wide.
„As you wish, princess“, his laughter and voice faded away, as he vanished into some of the shadows, and a silhouette of Alastor giddily waved at her, before fading away itself.
Charlie meanwhile stormed back down to the main room of the hotel. Willing to ride the energy and motivation, that her deal has brought her for as long as possible. To plan, to scheme, to get everyone ready. Either to leave or to fight at her side. Whatever they chose.
Because if heaven wanted a fight with hell, hell they would get.
And she would make sure of that.
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I Can Dream Of The Old Days
Event: Whump- The Musical
Fandom: Hunter x Hunter
Characters: Kurapika-Centric
Warnings: Mention of Death, Collecting of Body Parts, Canonical Level of Violence
Prompt Used: Day 1 - The Song referenced + Second Chances
Have fun! Story under the cut <3
„I Can Dream Of The Old Days“
The movement was repetitive. Almost soothing, with how easy it was. And so much easier than, when Kurapika had to do it once before.
Stick the shovel in the pile of dirt. Move it over the grave, he had dug out before. Shift it, so that the dirt drops into the hole. Ignore how sick it makes you feel. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat...
Kurapika had to suppress the urge to gag, whenever he heard the dull Thump! of the dirt hitting the body below it. The body, who had been so much more than just a body before. A person, that had been so excited to fight with him only moments ago. Someone, who had taunted him, with his heritage. How forgettable his family had been, till Kurapikas own crimson eyes had burned bright with emotion.
Crimson eyes. His own, just like the rest. The only thing differentiating his from his family, was that his still resided in his own skull. And that he was still breathing. Not dead, like they were. Like the body in front of him was.
He gagged again.
Instinctually Kurapika lifted his arm to his mouth, heaving. He turned away from the makeshift grave, that he had dug, far too quickly for his own taste. Because it was a speed that spoke of his experience with digging them in the first place.
He had closed his eyes, desperately trying to hold back tears. Slowly, he turned his face towards the moon. Something, he was used to as well. He opened his eyes once more to look at her.
Crimson tonight, just like his eyes were.
What was she crying about? For a moment, he wondered, if she was mourning him. And the blood that was still sticking to his hands, slowly drying under his fingernails, and still slightly runny on his own face.
He couldn´t even remember when he had looked up to her the last time. Asking for her guidance, they way his grandmother had taught him too. Asking for her blessing, with the instructions his aunt had whispered into his ear o so gently, as they pleaded for her grace for his yet unborn cousin. His cousin, who wouldn´t even be able to celebrate his second birthday.
Now he was here. Alone. No gentle whisper at his back, and calm hands guiding his movements. He was truly alone. Only she was left. Watching over him. Crimson. Overcome by her emotions, like he was. Weeping.
He didn´t even notice, that he had let go of the shovel, as he went to wipe the tears away, that were running down his face now. Overcome by all that had been lost. All that he had lost.
At once he thought back once more.
His mind circled Pairo. His hand over his own so often. Pairo gently wiping away his tears, when he cried. Pulling him along with ease. Always so excited to figure out something new, stoking Kurapika own curiosity with ease.
Pairo, poor Pairo.
Flashes of a time long gone, raced across his mind. Chasing each other, before he could even grasp them completely. O how he missed it all.
„Hey, no matter what happens. We two, we stick together, won´t we Pika!“ - „Of course, we will!“
Bright laughter. A happiness, how only children possessed it. Free from all burdens. From all the horror that might hide in the world. As they chased each other, through the high grass, ducking between the feet of their birds over and over again, as they tried to catch each other.
Ignoring the calls of outrage that followed them, when they for a chance started to dart between the legs of their family instead. Throwing more than one person off their balance in the process.
Shrieking laughter from each other, though was all they heard.
They didn´t even know what was coming for them yet.
„Pay attention Kurapika!“, his mother beckoned him closer, and excitedly he toddled up to her. With ease, she pulled him into her lap. Her weaving only stopped for a moment, before the clicking continued.
„Up and under. Over and down. Round and around“, she was humming lightly, and he giggled at her, trying to grasp for the strings, she was working with.
But before he could get a hand-full to pull on, gently hands enclosed his own, as she pulled them back again and up to her mouth. She kissed them, as she looked at him.
Her smile was so gentle, and he hoped, that one day, he would be able to smile as gentle and as comforting as his mother could.
And o he had tried. But he was sure, that on his face, it always looked somewhat forced.
A candle flickered, dancing in the breeze. The cave, they had hidden away in, always had a draft. The smell of ink and old paper was the strongest, and yet, there was some earthen note as well. Probably Pairo. He always smelled like freshly cut grass.
„The master of the sea. A creature who is found in the surrounding area of Whale Island. A fish, that easily can weight up to over 400 pounds and-. Hey! Are you even listening to me, Pika?“
„Sorry, sorry!“ He laughed. „What were you saying?“
„No, no, no!“ Pairo giggled, shifting so, that he was laying half on Kurapikas back. „You read now!“
„Okay, okay“
They had promised to each other to go and see all these beast. And yet, Kurapika hadn´t seen a single one of them. And Pairo would never get the chance to see them at all.
His father was sitting in the doorway, absent-mindedly strumming over the strings. He was looking up at something. The moonlight bathes him in an unearthly glow. The melody he was playing, sounded so sad to Kurapikas ears, as he wondered if he should come any closer.
But he didn´t needed to have worried, for the next moment, his father stopped strumming, and turned his face back towards Kurapika.
„Well, hello there~“ It was the strange but all the same familiar sing-song voice his father mostly talked in. Not quite singing, not quite talking. But something Kurapika was sure, he would recognize anywhere.
His father reached out for him with one hand, silently asking him to join him in the doorway, and excitedly Kurapika followed the request. As soon, as he had burrowed himself into his fathers side, his father began to strum again, quietly singing as well.
It wasn´t long, before Kurapika would fall asleep like that.
Strange, that he would never hear that cadence again, only in his own speech when he tried.
„Sometimes I wonder, what is out there. Behind our village, even further than the town at the bottom of the mountain.“
The stars were shining brightly. Both of them laying on their back, but still so close together, that if they were to turn their head, their noses would touch.
„Really?“
„Don´t you wonder at all, Kurapika?“ Pairo sounded shocked at his hesitance. Like he couldn´t even begin to understand it, and all Kurapika could do in answer was hum.
„I like it here, you know.“ He was careful, but his tone grew more forceful, „No, I love this place. I wish that I would never leave it all!“
„And yet you will“
„Yes, I will!“
„For me“
„Don´t you know it. Trust me, I will find someone, who will be able to help you. Don´t worry about it, you hear me“
Kurapika heaved himself up, to lean over Pairo. His friends eyes, nowadays always slightly unfocused, as he was loosing more and more of his sight, still somehow finding his own.
„I trust you!“
Pairo never needed to see that doctor at all in the end. If he even saw, who was coming for him? Or was he already completely blind at this point?
„Kurapika, was it? This one is for you. Thank you very much for your help “
The black-haired stranger, gently pulled up Kurapikas hand to drop a golden earring into it. The red ruby at the end was shining brightly. It almost reminded Kurapika of their clans eyes.
„Thank you, Mister! You really can´t miss our village!“
With that he bounded away. Finally able to go on his journey to find a doctor for Pairo, that knew what was ailing his friend.
Not once did he look back at the stranger, though his cold grey eyes would linger in his mind for a long time.
He was shaking now. Tears running down his face without his control. Feeling like it was impossible to hold them back at this point. He slowly sunk to his knees. He tried to gasp for breath through the pain, but it seemed utterly impossible at this point
Vision blurry, he kept pushing dirt into the grave with his bare hands. It felt comforting to him to touch the earth directly, instead of the cold metal of the shovel. He felt so detached from his own body at the moment, that he needed to take his comfort from where he could.
Quietly, Kurapika started to hum one of his fathers songs to himself, as he finished up. One last time he patted the grave down, knowing that it would sack further down anyway as the body decomposed, but not willing to care about it at this moment.
Instead, Kurapika simply picked up the shovel, to throw it into the trunk of his car, before leaving the desert behind, where he just committed to the first part of his revenge.
He fumbled with his phone, dialling Melody, to get to know where they were with the boss, before driving there himself.
Kurapika ignored her stuttering, as he ignored his own tears on his face.
Or was it blood?
He couldn´t tell the difference any more
When he got the news of the spiders death just a few hours later, he was numb once more. It was unbelievable to him, that somehow the Mafia had been successful with what they had so much trouble before. With what had nearly torn him apart.
Detached, he went through the motions: Bid on the eyes. Walk back to the hotel with them. Do not wonder who they were, even if they kinda look like- Do not go there! Just walk. One foot in front of the other. Ignore the shrieking of the boss, as she happily throws herself at the eyes. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore-
„Kurapika?“ He slightly turned his head to look at Melody. She was twisting her hands, her overbite even more noticeable than usual, as she worried at her lips. He hummed lowly.
„Are you alright?“, her voice was soft. Either because she didn´t want to hurt her own ears, or because Melody was afraid, that she would further upset him at any moment.
He also kept his voice soft, as he already turned to walk away, „No.“
Kurapika ignored her worried calls, that echoed after him, as he quickly went up the staircase. Maybe he would find some peace on the rooftop. Unconsciously, he feet were following a rhythm he had known years ago.
Step to right, shift your weight. A little hop here, and a slight twist there.
Probably one of the first few steps he had learned as a child. A simple dance, easy enough to learn, but somehow he was still the last one to dance it. Though, Kurapika mused, maybe Gon would enjoy to learn these steps. It would be a pain to teach, Gons attention seemed to drift on the best days, but maybe Killua would keep him in check...
Only moments later, he pushed himself through the door, to reach the roof. His steps slowing, as he looked at the sky. It was already bathed in a bright red, as the sun started to rise.
Carefully he stepped to the edge, leaning against the railing, as he tried to just breathe for the moment.
His thoughts wandered to his friends this time, as he absent-mindedly scratched at his hands. Somehow they still felt like they were wet with blood, when he stood still for too long.
Leorio, who studied medicine and who ardently believed in the good of humanity. Somehow he had the feeling that Leorio would help him, if asked. Who worried about every little scratch, he saw on another person. What was he thinking, Leorio would jump at the opportunity to help his friends.
Fondly, Kurapika shook his head, picking at something beneath his fingernails.
The same was true for Gon and Killua. While Gon was more free with his help, as he was with his affection, Killua tended to be more reserved, but still offered. They were children, though at no point did Kurapika doubt, they would be a tremendous help, if he ever needed them. He faintly hoped, that it would never come to that.
Maybe this was what he was hoping for anyway. He shook himself out of the numbness, he was stuck in. Recognizing, that he had scratched his hands bloody again. Carefully, he wiped the blood from his knuckles.
With the spider dead, he didn´t need to follow through on his revenge. At least not on this part. His hands could maybe stay somewhat free of blood, as he instead chased down the eyes of his family. It wouldn´t be a chase any more, that could only end with him dead at the end of it.
It almost felt like with this, that maybe is life purpose wasn´t being ripped away from him, but instead he received a second chance at living. The thought almost made him smile. This was something good, wasn´t it?
Though what actually got him to smile in the end, was the realization, that not only will his friends be able to help on this journey, with the threat of the spider gone, but he would be able to help them as well. He wouldn´t be so caught up in his journey of revenge from now on. Not with them already dead. That meant, that Kurapika could freely lent them a helping hand as well. It almost made him giddy.
Suddenly his phone rang. He pulled it out, a smile still playing on his lips, thinking about the life that was given back to him tonight. How he might be able to rely on his friends from now on to complete his work, and let them rely on him in turn now as well. Though all of that came crashing back down, with a single message sent to him by a familiar number.
„They were fakes :)“
Nothing more.
Still, his whole world seemed to burn down around him once more. This was it, no? He looked at his hands, feeling like the blood upon them, was once more wet. Why did he have any hope of keeping them clean in the first place?
He swallowed, trying to hold back his tears, as his eyes burned crimson with grief.
Fakes. The bodies had been fakes. The spider was still alive.
But so was he.
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Everything you write is a pure SLAY. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!!!!
Thank you so much for reading! * blows a kiss *
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you made yandere hcs for killua... could you do relationship hcs now🥺🙏
Hey, sorry I´m a bit late in tagging you, but the Killua Relationship Headcanons are out. You can find them here.
I´ll hope you´ll enjoy them! <3
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Reading List 2022
So there was lot that happened in the last year, but one of them was that I finally got a regular access to the library of the University I´m studying at. Though, the majority of the books on this list, still come from my own shelves, and were simply collecting dust for a long time.
I wanted to share with you guys, what took my attention a lot of the time, whenever I sat down to read something, apart from the copious amount of Fanfiction I read on the daily. Something, that is between me and AO3 only.
This list is supposed to be something between a casual review and recommendation. There are a few books on here, that I simply adored, and others that I hated. Either because I didn´t like the style or it was written in a genre I´m not fond of to begin with.
But without further ado: Let´s begin, but be aware of spoilers!!
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
Let´s start with something I absolutely adored!
Nobody Owens escapes death just barely as a young child, and is instead raised by the folks at the graveyard. Ghost and spirits of the deceased and his legal guardian Silas, who is clearly a vampire though it never gets outright said in the novel. We follow Bod around, as he grows up, makes friends, gets though of as an imaginary friend several times, and even meets the personification of death. With him we explore the stories of the graveyard he grew up on, and the secrets it has.
I loved the character of Nobody „Bod“ Owens and how he interacted with the world! This was the first book I read, that was written by Gaiman and I gotta say I wasn´t disappointed. There was such a heart wrenching moment, when the story came to an end, that really felt like a final goodbye. The story, was inviting to read, and didn´t become boring. I genuinely enjoyed reading it, and was left with a melancholy, that comes with a story, that is about growing up!
The Wicked and the Damned by Warhammer Horror
This is one of the books, where it was gifted to me, and the genre is not something I enjoy.
Three people meet up in a place full of the death, without a clue how they even arrived here, they tell the stories of their lives in hope of finding out what had brought them here. We get told of a soldier, who keeps the army in line, and fulfils his duty with a fervor. A woman, who did everything to rise through the ranks, and now is haunted her own deeds. A pastor, who simply can´t believe in what he does and slowly looses his faith. We get told their stories, and how they ended.
Here we have a gritty and rather bleak horror novel, with hints of it being Sci-Fi, where not one of our protagonists is likeable in my opinion. Their motivations always seemed so horrible to me. I think, in the end, this story, is really about the absolute depravity humanity can reach. The scenario is some far away future, where society is ruled by, what seems to be a dictatorship and religion. We have the stories of 3 different people, and how they deal with the situations they find themselves in. All of them, by the way, don´t deal all that well. Worth it I think if you´re a fan of horror and Sci-Fi, and to be honest kind of bleak stories, but otherwise, it can become exhausting to read.
The Christmas Pig by J.K. Rowling
It´s a cute little children´s stories, and it is good.
The premise could be described as „Where do the things we loose end up?“ Jack will find out, as he makes the journey to recover his stuffed animal, that he lost. On his journey, he comes to know the stories, how quite a few of the things he met ended up lost, and the horrible threat that looms over, the entire realm, as he slowly learns to love.
The story beats come at the right time, and the story itself is interesting as well. I found it quite fascinating how some things were working with „The Lost and Found“ concerning everything inside the story. I also quite liked the character voices.
Amok by Richard Bachman
The entire concept of the story is interesting.
The setting: A high school in Maine. After a conversation with the director, Charlie Decker shoots first his teacher and then holds his classmates hostage. Let the mind games begin, as he simply talks with them, while keeping the police in check
Getting into the mind of Charlie was something I enjoyed, though I have to admit, when the story comes to an end I can´t quite tell you what happened. Either because I was sleep deprived when reading that last part or because I seem to have terrible reading comprehension or because it isn´t that clear to begin with. In the end, I enjoyed it regardless.
'Salem's Lot by Stephen King
Another horror novel, that was gifted to me...
Ben Mears returns as a successful novelist back to his childhood home. He plans to write a novel in this deserted town, far away from the big cities. Almost at the same time, a weird stranger shows up as well, who decides to rent a building that has been empty for decades, because the previous owner just up and vanished. Soon enough, it becomes weird. Lights burning without a source, a dog gets found dead, and children go missing.
I´ll be honest, I expected witches, demonic rituals, anything, that might connect the happenings to Salem. My first thought was „Salem Witch Trials“ and I was disappointed when I got vampires instead. They were surprising, yeah, but not a great choice in my opinion. Though, my father disagrees with me on that...
Seibetsu "Mona Lisa" no Kimi he by Tsumuji Yoshimura (Volume 2 – Volume 6)
A beautiful manga, that really became important to me personally, and where I fear a bit the ending.
„What gender was the Mona Lisa? There is a lot of myth surrounding the painting, and some even say, that it combines both“ In a world, where everyone is born without a gender, they will have to choose. Most children have chosen who to become around the time, when they celebrate their 12th birthday. Not Hinase. Already 17, they still haven´t decided. And it seems, that time is slowly running out for them, as they are the oldest living person, who still hasn´t decided.
Hinase struggles, resonate with me on a personal level and I´m really invested in how their story will end, even though the end scares me at the same time as well. The love triangle though, is something I am just tolerating. I mean on their own the characters are really well done, and their struggles are just beautifully presented. I just can´t stand the declaration of the Male Interest, and though the Female Interest says the same thing in the beginning, she quickly changes her tune, and realizes, that she would still love Hinase no matter what they become, all the while the Male Interest still is stuck on getting Hinase to become a woman. The characters are good. The love triangle isn´t. The story resonates with me on a personal level.
The Green Mile by Stephen King
The story definitely hit it´s mark with me.
Paul Edgewoth is a prison guard, and tends to talks about his guest. He is responsible for seeing the death penalty through. Though things take a turn to the scary and supernatural when two girls die and John Coffey gets convicted and is put on the death track.
It was a pleasure to read through these books, and slowly getting more and more of the story. I was deeply saddend by the inevitability that seemed to haunt me, after reading it, and truly dreaded the end. It was compelling to read, and a beautiful commentary on something truly despicable. My little summary can´t reach the brilliance of what is happening. Well done, King.
‎The Wicked Sister by Karen Dionne
A thriller, that was truly enjoyable.
The 26 year old Rachel Cunningham lives for 15 years in an „asylum“ in Michigan. She believes, that she killed her own mother as a little child. That memory, of her standing there with the weapon in her hands in front of the body, won´t leave her be. Though the memory lies, and the deadly truth comes creeping in.
It truly took me a while, till I realized, that the little girl in the flashback was not Rachel but her older sister, and in that moment all the tension relied on Rachel first of all figuring out what truly happened, and then escaping her sister. It was tense, and I enjoyed it a lot while reading it on the train.
Leiden sollst du by Laura Wullf
Another great thriller, that kept my interest till the end
Was it really an accident? The seventeen year old Julia was missing for several months only to be found dead. Marie is deeply disturbed by this cause her cousin, Ben, was friends with the now dead girl. She asks her husband, Daniel an ex-cop who is now paralysed, for help and finds out that Ben has been receiving threats and has been followed now for several weeks. Shortly after the next body appear and Marie joins a game she never wanted to play.
I admit, this one is rather average and not that memorable, still it is enjoyable to read through. I liked the characters well enough, and the game the killer plays was also unique enough to keep me interested.
Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch
Another gift, another one, that I really wasn´t fond of.
This is London as you´ve never seen it before. A city of wonders and terrors. A city of ancient secrets, which is haunted by it´s past. A city where you are never far from magic. A city Peter Grant will help you discover: My name is Peter Grant, and I used to be a probationary constable in that mighty army for justice known to all right-thinking people as the Metropolitan Police Service, and to everyone else as the Filth. My story really started when I tried to take a witness statement from a man who was already dead...
Quite frankly, I was glad, when I finally finished the book. Something about the book just rubbed me the wrong way, and so the end couldn´t have come soon enough...
Die Dunklen by Ralf Isau
Something, that collected dust for a very long time in my shelf...
The pianist Sarah d´Albis has synaesthesia. She can see music. While listening to a piece of Franz List a foreboding message is revealed to her. She starts to follow the trail of a secret brotherhood, who call themselves the dark ones. For ages they have been searching for a terrifying piece of music who promises to grant them complete control over humanity. Together with the Russian Oleg, Sarah will do anything in her power to stop them. The future of the world depends on them.
This book would have been a lot more enjoyable if I cared about music and the terminology used for it. As it is, I don´t. While I did like the characters and the stories itself, Isau became to long-winded for me to properly enjoy his story. The end was too often in reach, only for it to be pulled away again.
Santa Clawed by Rita Mae Brown
Goddamn, I hated it...
As Harry well knows, there’s hardly a place on earth cozier than Crozet, Virginia, at Christmastime. Snowflakes, carolers, it’s all picture-perfect until Harry and her husband, Fair, find the tree they’ve chosen grimly decorated with a corpse. The tree farm is run by the Brothers of Love, a semimonastic organization whose members live atop the scenic Blue Ridge Mountains. Now, as the season grows merrier, a murderer is growing bolder. One by one, prominent men of Crozet are being crossed off Christmas shopping lists and added to the morgue. And if Harry and her four-legged helpers aren’t very good–and very careful–this Christmas will be her last.
The story was mediocre at best, downright bad at worst. I couldn´t stand to read it, and at the same time get away from the religious imaginary, that was just thrown at me the whole time. I was glad to finally shut it, and will open it never again. Moving on!
Whisper by Isabel Abedi
A reread, and a good one at that.
An unnatural silence lays over Whisper, the old mansion, where Noa is supposed to spend her vacation. The old building hides a secret, which no one dares to mention. Fear but also curiosity drive Noa to discover the trails over a long silenced crime. Together with David, a boy from town, she will discover the secrets of these old walls.
I read this story before, but couldn´t quite remember what had happend so I made my journey again, and it was great. I love how done Noa is with her mother, and I completely forgot about the twist at the end, though it does come kind of outta no where. Got to admit that. I also adore, that all our characters seem like people, and not just walking tropes. It´s nice children book.
Der Verehrer by Charlotte Link
This story is my cup of tea, through and through.
When the body of a recently murdered young woman is found in a forest, the police and her family are confronted with a mystery. For the last six years, the woman was considered to have disappeared without a trace. Only another crime leads to new approaches and to a woman who has no idea she could be the next victim.
This story grabbed me by the throat and refused to let go. It was such an enjoyable read through, I don´t quite know how to put it in words. One thing only: You should know around the halfway point what is going on. At least I did. Though I liked, that Link didn´t try to drag the mystery for too long. It became obvious, but it never lost it´s tension.
Funfact: I took the book with me, while going to my first convention, and I really gotta say I had to convince myself to put it down, when I was reading after coming back to the hotel to wind down for the night, because I had an early start the next day. Amazing story!
Black Out by Marc Elsberg
Let it end already!
On a cold February day, all electricity grids in Europe collapse. The total blackout. Italian computer scientist Piero Manzano suspects a hacker attack and tries to warn the authorities – unsuccessfully. When Europol Commissioner Bollard finally listens to him, dubious e-mails appear in Manzano's computer, directing suspicion to himself. He has come under the crosshair of an adversary who is as sophisticated as he is merciless. Meanwhile, all of Europe is in darkness and the battle for survival begins . . .
At this point most of you should have realized that I hate bleak fiction. I just can´t stand it! This was another book, where it felt like a pain, or worse a chore, to read it. I genuinely couldn´t enjoy it at all. I mean the twist at the end was kind of funny, especially because it´s a call back. But the rest, I dreaded it. While the characters were somewhat fun, they also felt like plain caricatures the whole time. I was glad, when the book finally ended.
Todesträume am Montparnasse by Alexandra von Grote
No, just no...
It is not a pretty sight to see Commissioner Maurice LaBréa at the scene of the crime. The deceased is lying on the bed with his hands and feet tied to the bedposts with a thin nylon cord. The mouth is covered with a large patch. On his chest, the killer deposited a cassette with Ravel's Boléro on it. At first, the police suspect an act of revenge – but shortly after, a similar murder occurs, and LaBréa is confronted with a mystery. A race against time begins . . .
The vibe of this story was just off. I genuinely can´t tell you what it was, that made this story so fucking uncomfortable to read, but I really gotta say, I was the worst. Especially, because I could never pin point, what it was now, that was rubbing me the wrong way. Really the vibes were just so off!!
GANGSTA by Kohske (Volume 1)
I love it! I love it so much! It´s everything.
In Ergastulum, a city rules by violence, drugs and the mafia, there are two independent handymen – Nicolas and Worick. Alex, a former prostitute who joins them, wants to know more about them. About their friendship and past. On the streets murder is a everyday thing, a strange drug and superhumans called Twilights, are calling the tune. It´s a mafia fantasy through and through.
You know what? I take some it back, even though I still love it with all my heart. The story and the world can be a bit bleak. Because Ergastulum and the reality Nicolas lives in. That´s just dark! Still the teasing he exchanges with Worick, the way he already worries over Alex! It´s everything to me! I really, really just adore the way he acts! The way you can already tell how much he loves the people around him. I just love it. Everyone, please give this oldie (and it kinda is) a chance.
Funfact 1: I won the first volume in a Go-Tournament.
Funfact 2: For those, that know of the anime, I could actually see StereoDiveFoundation (the guy who wrote the absolute banger that Renegade is!) live this year ( in June 2023 btw..., yeah it takes that long...)
The Speaker by Traci Chee
It was definitely an interesting read, and I loved the story telling in this.
Having barely escaped the clutches of the Guard, Sefia and Archer are back on the run, slipping into the safety of the forest to tend to their wounds and plan their next move. Haunted by painful memories, Archer struggles to overcome the trauma of his past with the impressors, whose cruelty plagues him whenever he closes his eyes. But when Sefia and Archer happen upon a crew of impressors in the wilderness, Archer finally finds a way to combat his nightmares: by hunting impressors and freeing the boys they hold captive.
Something I have to mention upfront: On a side note, it can work as independent story, even though this particular one is the second book from a trilogy. So my opinion of it, might be a bit strange. Especially because of that. But yet, I still adored the story telling of Chee. She had a beautiful way to bring this entire world closer to me and reading this never felt like a chore to me. My applause. Genuinely. Also, the German title is very dear to me: Ein Schatz aus Papier und Magie (downright poetic)
The Thing on the Doorstep by H.P. Lovecraft
Creepy as fuck, as I hoped it would be.
A collection of short stories by the popular horror author H.P. Lovecraft. Including „The Thing on the Doorstep“, „The Outsider“, „The Colour Out of Space“, „The Dreams in the Witch House“ and „The Shadow Out of Time“.
These short stories had me in a tight grip when I read them. I practically devoured it. It hit all of the right points for me to sit back and question it. Lovecraft allowed me to follow along, while still giving himself enough time to actually explain, what was going on. Well, at least well enough, that I didn´t feel too terribly confused and got annoyed with him. It was a gorgeous collection and definitely worth the read. Because yeah, this was a collection of his though the titular one was by far my favourite.
At the Mountains of Madness by H.P Lovecraft
This one was weird...
Arkham, 1933. Professor Dyer, learns that a scientific expedition will soon leave for Antarctica following in the footsteps of the journey which he himself had made in 1931. In the hope of dissuading the attempt, Dyer decides to make a full account of the tragic events he had survived, this time without omitting the passages which he had kept silent about on his return, for fear of being taken for a madman.
Two years earlier, ships chartered by Miskatonic University had landed on the frozen continent at the start of the Antarctic summer, and the group of four professors and sixteen students set to work immediately. The expedition biologist, Professor Lake, left with several members of the team to follow a promising fossil track. After just a few days, he announced by radio that he had discovered astonishing specimens of an unknown ancient species, before stopping all communication after a terrible storm. Guessing the worst, Dyer went to their rescue the next day. What he discovered went beyond his wildest fears ...
Okay as much as I loved the previous one, this one was a bit strange. I couldn´t quite tell, what his intentions were with that one, but I found it so much more strange and off-putting. It´s written more like an actual scientific report, which made reading it a bit more tedious than the previous one. I´m just not a fan of rhetoric used in those stories, so I knew I wouldn´t like it. In the end the horror story did it´s job though. I was freaked out and a bit afraid.
Monster by Robert Waugh
Admittedly a super interesting, if a bit dry, read.
A series of essays by Robert Waugh, where he explores the themes, motive and narrative in the stories of H.P. Lovecraft. He pulls from the live of Lovecraft, as he tries to find what makes his stories so special, and where the many fears, that Lovecraft uses in his horror come from. The trilogy was titles „A monster of Voices“, „The monster in the mirror“ and „A monster for many“.
It was so interesting to actually read all of this. At some points, it started to feel a bit heavy, but it´s kinda what I expected from a series of academic essays. Though one thing I noticed, because it was frankly hilarious, was how the print got gradually bigger and the books thinner over the course of the three books. No, if there is an avid interest for the work of Lovecraft I recommend checking these essays out.
Profiling Violent Crimes by Ronald Holmes
That one was so much fun!!
Another series of essays, that busy itself with the topic of violent crimes. Where does it pop up? Who are the victims? And who are the guilty? What styles of violent crime are there? And who is the most likely to do what?
It was so much fun to actually read that, cause he comes to a few conclusions that seem pretty strange, but Holmes argues well-enough for them, that it seems to make sense. A book, where I actually enjoyed looking at it´s graphes. Something, I usually dread.
Sisi by Andy Englert
Cute!
Every year, the three famous “Sissi” films enchant millions of people in front of the TV at Christmas. The image of the Austrian Empress Elisabeth is shaped by the “Sissi” classics with Romy Schneider. But what was the “real” Sisi really like? Royals expert Andreas Englert sheds light on the historical figure – Munich-born Elisabeth Amalie Eugenie von Wittelsbach, later Empress Elisabeth of Austria-Hungary – in the spotlight. Did you know that after the dream wedding in Vienna with Emperor Franz Joseph I in 1854, disenchantment quickly reigned and why? Or that the “real” Sisi did not suffer from an eating disorder, as has often been claimed? And why is she actually called “Sissi” in the movies and not “Sisi” or even “Lisi”? Questions about questions, all of which are answered in a well-founded and exciting way in this book.
It was cute little biography, filled with some funfacts about Sisi. Definitely very entertaining to read, but nothing memorable, that I can say now about it. Cuz, while I do like Sisi well enough, certainly not enough to actively memorise facts about her...
In the end, it was all about love. by Musa Okwonga
Another mediocre book. Not great, but not bad either. Somewhat fun.
The narrator arrives in Berlin, a place famed for its hedonism, to find peace and maybe love; only to discover that the problems which have long haunted him have arrived there too, and are more present than ever. As he approaches his fortieth birthday, nearing the age where his father was killed in a brutal revolution, he drifts through this endlessly addictive and sometimes mystical city, through its slow days and bottomless nights, wondering whether he will ever escape the damage left by his father's death. With the world as a whole more uncertain, as both the far-right and global temperatures rise at frightening speed, he finds himself fighting a fierce inner battle against his turbulent past, for a future free of his fear of failure, of persecution, and of intimacy. In The End, It Was All About Love is a journey of loss and self-acceptance that takes its nameless narrator all the way through bustling Berlin to his roots, a quiet village on the Uganda-Sudan border. It is a bracingly honest story of love, sexuality and spirituality, of racism, dating, and alienation; of fleeing the greatest possible pain, and of the hopeful road home.
Let me tell you something. I was reading this book, while having the nigh watch, and you know what even being awake for far over twenty hours I didn´t fall asleep with it. Which says a bit more, when I tell you that I definitely feel asleep before while reading, several times, pretty often. So, it was interesting enough, to at least keep my attention. Even when I was exhausted beyond belief.
Nahe Tage by Angelika Overrath
Break my heart, why don´t you?
With the last of her mother's belongings, Johanna returns to the apartment where she grew up. As if under duress, she sorts her mother's laundry according to temperature tolerance, and while the washing machine starts running, Johanna makes an inventory of her childhood. . .
What a text on which I ended my year. It made me cry. You can just feel that grief, that Johanna is going through the whole time. The disbelief, as she is still grabbling with what happened. Her childhood. I´m dying. Especially reading this over Christmas was either the best decision ever, or the worst one. I genuinely can´t tell.
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I´m finished!! A total of 31 books were read in the year of 2022. Looking back I will definitely continue to sort through my shelves. Cuz I got too many of those damn books. I always collect them but never read them (Note from the future: I try my best here, but I ain´t easy (my to be read list is already longer than it was last year...))
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Killua Relationship Headcanons
As soon, as I step out of a format, believe me I´m struggling. So, I already know, that I will also struggle quite badly with this one. Though, I´m sure I will find my way around this one as well.
What I´m looking at is a request from a darling anon, who requested relationship headcanons for Killua, in response of me posting the yandere headcanons. So, I will have to take another look at this boy and figure out how he would act as well in this particular situation.
Well, that´s surely going to piece of cake, won´t it...
Killua Relationship Headcanons
He was very likely the driving force behind getting this relationship started → very picky who he talks too, or even which names he remembers
Because of something like this, he wouldn´t even realize if you were the one flirting with him
This could become very funny (at least to me), if you´re oblivious
A bit of a bastard to you
Tends to pick on you quite a bit → all in good faith, even though some of his comments tend to turn into a mean direction
Hilariously enough, it´s how he tries to show you affection → bit of Kindergarten-Logic that one
Still very attentive and attuned to you → knows when he hurt you and apologizes, also aware when something seems to be stressing you out
He is aware of what you´re feeling
This will cause, by the way, as many problems as it´s solves
Because he somewhat expects you to be attuned to him in the same way
Which means he rarely talks about hat he feels, and just thinks you will know what he feels without him telling you
It´s like pulling teeth when you try talking emotions with him as well... good luck...
Someone who shares food with you
Another way he tries to show you affection → like I said very much like 5 year old...
Say goodbye to an evening at home → wants to see new stuff whenever he can and enjoys sharing the experience with his partner
You better get along with Gon and Alluka
Otherwise he will drop you without hesitation (their opinion means everything to him) → later yours will as well
Actually takes a lot of input from you
Tends to remember your likes and dislikes very well
Will show this very off-handedly (probably not even actively memorizing anything)
Has a habit of losing himself in his relationships
You NEED to ask him every now and then for his opinion and separate the two of you into individual people, instead of being one
Needs someone who can slow him down every now and again → he´s always alert, all the time, it will burn him out someday
Don´t sweep him along → he needs the space, otherwise he will be lost!
Hilariously enough, a bit of a gentleman → tends to walk on the side wherever the road is, like he bodily puts himself between the road and you
In general tends to put himself bodily between any perceived danger and you → also something that seems to happen unconsciously
Also the first one that will pull you away from some things
Likes to keep you in sight of him → a strong tendency to let you decide where to go, or to simply point over you shoulder when he wants to go somewhere specific
Not big on PDA → will hold your hand, sure, but please don´t kiss him, yeah the hug is also fine
Terrible at communication → never tells you anything
Doesn´t mean he is good at keeping secrets though... → he will share it before you know it with Gon or Alluka
Their secrets are also shared with you though Still, there is always some understanding between the two of you and he always tries to make sure that you know that he loves you. He understands your actions and your words and knows that you know him well enough to understand him as well. He is someone, that will try to make the relationship work. And with a little bit of cooperation, you two will make bond, that could last a lifetime.
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You know what’s really refreshing and impressive? The way you write for the characters in a way as if you were the one who created them in the first place. Like, you write the characters as if it would be canon. Especially Illumi! Whenever I read HC’s of him (especially yandere themed ones) it’s always ‘he wants the family business to keep going’ and that can be true, maybe. But it’s so refreshing and nice to see that there are people like you who come up with different theories, concepts and opinions. You said that Illumi wants to have something completely outside of the family business. Something different. And it’s so damn beautiful! It’s the first time I see people going out of that whole family business concept and give Illumi certain space and.. character(?)(xd I’m low-key struggling to find the right words but I think you understand what I’m trying to say into words.) You also mentioned that he just wants to have a bond with his object of affection and that’s giving him more character than all the stuff I have read so far. Your writing is lovely, keep up the great work ! :P
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That is such a nice thing to say of you! I can´t remember how often I went back to your message to read and reread it over and over again. It, it just means a lot to me to hear how you think about what I do.
Especially : "The way you write for the characters in a way as if you were the one who created them in the first place. Like, you write the characters as if it would be canon."
That part simply means everything to me!!! I always try to let the character be as canon as they are, but I know that after all I´m twisting them around to fit the need of the story.
So to hear, that they still after all, and especially Illumi, still feel canon. It simply means the world to me!
Thank you, thank you so much! Your kinf words will be a source for motivation for quite a while. Truly, thank you!
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Hii! I am new on ur blog, but I REALLY love ur work! I especially love the Yan! Mikey alphabet. There for, I would like to request a yan! Chifuyu alphabet if thats ok.If not, its alr dw. Hope u have a good day and please make sure to drink enough water! :D
I finished him, and have finally the chance to notify you of it as well!!!
You can find the alphabet for Chifuyu here.
I hope you will like how I wrote him!!!
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Hii is it possible we can get a yandere alphabet for Baji or Mitsuya?
You may have already seen them, but I posted your request a while ago.
For Baji you need to go here.
For Mitsuya you need to go here.
I hoe you will enjoy them <3
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Milestone: 250 Reblogs
Guys! You´re all so cool! I was so excited when Tumblr told me that. That number might seem small to some, but I´m so happy, that my work found so much appreciation.
Tumblr after all lives off it´s reblogs and OH MY DEAR!!! The knowledge that my writing got shared 250 times with other people, I´m so happy
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(-> you all)
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(First of all that, me seeing the wiriting shared)
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(Me right now again)
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Yandere Alphabet: Baji Keisuke
He such a feral bastard. Honestly, love that for him. Here he is:
Baji Keisuke
Fucker is downright feral. Wild and free-spirited are some of the nicer things, that can be said about him. Most would say it a bit differently. He is extremely headstrong and sometimes he doesn´t make any sense to you. I honestly believe that you will need to him match him in every aspect because otherwise he will simply steam roll right over you.
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
He is as intense as it gets. Always hanging onto you. He needs to be in physical contact with you and he can´t stand to see you leaving his hands. Though he is all for public displays of affection. Though as soon as he gets started it always feels a little inappropriate, cause he never slows down. He will leave hickeys all over you, and will place them purposefully over where the collar of your shirt will reach.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
Baji would probably kill someone on accident. He would throw himself at the other and wouldn´t stop. His rage knows no bounds, even when he tries to keep it in check. In the end, it´s likely that he won´t even realize what he has done till it´s too late. Still he will gladly come back to you, and quite frankly for you? He would do it all again.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
Not one to mock and neither to abduct. Another one of the guys, who suddenly moved in with you. Appears everywhere that you do and in general just clings to you. He isn´t someone, that would abduct you at all. Or if he did, he would very quickly let you go again, because he couldn´t even keep up with something like that.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
He clings to you. Following you wherever you need to go. He wants to spend time with you and he makes is very clear. But otherwise, he lets you hold the reins. You will know what is best for you, at least better than him. So, he lets you do as you please. He just wants to be with you every step of the way.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
This man opens his heart for you from the first moment he sees you. He wants you to know what is going on inside if him. But he also wants to understand you as well. He wants to know what is going on inside your mind at every moment. He adores to listen to you talk, too see you opening up to him, like he open up to you as well.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
He rather sees it more as an invitation to play-fight with them, than the genuine attempt to get away from him. Though with him, this warped perspective is definitely on purpose. He knows that wasn´t what you intended, but he hopes that with some humour he can convince you that this would be a terrible idea.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
If it´s established previously as a game, he will enjoy chasing you around. It´s a bit like playing tag, isn´t it? If you just suddenly try to get away from him with no explanation or anything of that kind, he will be mainly confused. He doesn´t understand what´s going on, and will be hurt, when he figures out what has been going on.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
The moment he pounces on someone else for the first time, and you try to get between that. In that moment he will accidentally hurt you. That moment, will be the worst experience with him. Because that will hurt, and he might not even notice what he has done till long after he calmed down again. The realization, that when he fights he looses track of his surroundings and can´t even recognize it when you approach him. How strong he is and how easy it would be for him to break you apart.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
It doesn´t come to mind for him to plan for the future. For him, what counts most is the moment. It´s the present. He wants to be with you in this very moment. He doesn´t want to think about tomorrow. Everything that counts happens right now. And right now he wants nothing more than to be with you.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
Baji has a tendency to get jealous and whenever he does, he will show it as well. Stepping closer to you, kissing you, throwing his arm over your shoulder. All these are signs that he wants the other person to finally back off. Though, the other should really start watching out as soon as he starts to fidget. It´s the only warning, that he will jump the other in the next few moments.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
He tends to watch your every move. Careful eyes are always on you. Though, he will also lean on you. Making sure, that you know that he is close to you. A hand on your back or on your arm are common for him. He also tends to kiss you quite a lot, if you give him the chance to do it. It´s the easiest way for him to ensure, that everyone around him knows that you and him belong together.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
Spending time with them is his to go method. He likes nothing more, than to spend time and talk with the people he loves, so why would it be any different, when he tries to get closer to someone? He will accompany you on some of the mundanest trips, but bring the highest energy and enthusiasm always with it. It´s almost endearing.
Mask: Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
A bit wild and feral. That is was everybody sees when they look at Baji. Even his mother described him as such for as long as he can remember. He takes pride in that description. He never tried to hide who he is from anyone. Never did, never will. They just have to accept him how he is. So he never appears any different around any person. Is core always stays the same.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
He will get violent when angry. But still he wouldn´t think of touching you in any shape or form. His voice will get louder, his movement will become more erratic but he won´t touch you. He might crowd you accidentally, he might throw some of things around, though it´s a mix between his own and yours belongings, cuz he genuinely can´t decipher it in the moment. He doesn´t try to hurt you, but he knows that he needs to vent this anger in some way.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
It´s not so much, that he takes away his darlings rights and more so, that he simply tends to be around a lot. Of course he wants to know, with whim they´re going out. Especially, if he isn´t going to be there. He will be overprotective, but he still understands, that your decisions are mainly your own. He can influence them with his opinion, but he still has to let you do what you want.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
In general, he isn´t a very patient man. If needed, he can wait for a bit, but only when he knows, that it will aid him in his goals 100%. Otherwise, he will either loose interest or try to speed things up quite a bit. With that in mind, he also tends to be impatient with his darling. He doesn´t wait to approach them and just throws himself with all his affections at you. Either they will get used to him or not. But he won´t just stand aside and wait for them to notice him.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
He is someone, that is always focused on the moment. Never someone, that plans very far ahead, but he does dwell on the past, and wants to atone for mistakes he made. So, he would mourn them. He would look back upon his actions and wonder, where he went wrong with you. He doesn´t understand, why you felt the sudden need to leave everything behind the two of you had going on. He is also pretty sure, that he will never understand it either. He won´t come up after you, but he will approach you, if your paths ever cross again.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
As previously mentioned, he isn´t one to abduct his darling in the first place, and if he ever did, he would feel guilty upon seeing their reaction. He doesn´t plan to do something like this, for that simple reason alone. He doesn´t think, that he could bear to watch your expression crumble upon seeing him. So, he would let them go rather quickly as well.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
Baji had always been a wild and uncontrollable child. He has always been a bit on the possessive side of things, and his mother had always indulged him in it. He was allowed to love, how he wants to, even encouraged to. His passion was always very visible and nothing he ever hid, and either people loved him or hated him for it. He never saw the sense of dimming himself for the comfort of others, and so he will never do so either.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
He doesn´t like to see you in pain. In total he simply can´t stand it, when you aren´t happy and he will do everything to the best of his abilities to make you happy again. There is nothing he loves more, than to see you smiling, your laugh or the expression on your face when you are content. So, he will do what he can, to have you look at him again with love and happiness in your eyes.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
With him there is no mastermind at work. Very rarely will he think his plans through till the end. There is so much, that he could do for you instead, that would express the same thing as his words would. In general you will notice, that he is very intuitive with you.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
Now there is something, that can be exploited, but he is also very aware of that weakness himself. First of all, he isn´t exactly the brightest one out there. All the while though, he is very tunes into the way you behave, so he will pick up any sudden changes. Second, he adores you. There is seems to be nothing, that he wouldn´t do for you. He is also very aware of that.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
He is not someone, that enjoys hurting the people, that he loves. While he is very much capable of hurting you, he would rather not do it. It pains him to even think about such a thing. He knows that he ban be abrasive and short-tempered, but he still takes care to control himself. If he realizes, that he won´t be able to, he will leave you by yourself. He never wants to become the cause of pain for you.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
Baji adores his darling and while he does hold them in high regards, it never reaches something worshipful. He still sees them as a person, with all your flaws. He believes, that no matter what happens, he will always be able to see the real you. Never a mask and never to be put on a pedestal. Still, he likes you. Would go to the end of this earth for you. No matter what.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
He is someone, that believes in the idea of love at first sight. He sees you and his heart starts to race. That first moment, he is done for. He already adores every little thing that you do. He doesn´t immediately bowel you over, but he still approaches you as soon as he can. He doesn´t care if it seems awkward as well. For something like that, he doesn´t let himself fell any shame. And so he pines and every advance makes him bolder.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
He is definitely capable of breaking his darling to smithereens. Baji is not necessarily the most careful guy out there, while at the same time he is definitely highly emotionally intelligent. There are times when he holds you too tight and leaves bruises he never intended to leave. He is like that in most things. He can be too harsh, too cruel, too forceful. He knows this as well and so he will try. He will be attentive, but he knows himself, that it´s likely that he will miss something along the way.
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Yandere Alphabet: Matsuno Chifuyu
What a cute guy. Strictly loyal and incredible attentive towards his friends. We get introduced to him and know in the same moment, that he would die for his friends. What a guy!
Chifuyu Matsuno
A gentle soul, that can´t see, that was is he doing might be seen as wrong. He wants to be close to you and he will do whatever he can do achieve that. Relentless. Pushy. I honestly believe, that with him around you will never have a quiet moment to yourself again. Good Luck with him, my dear. And patience. You will need it.
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
He is a big fan of physical contact and he knows it. He always tends to saddle up to you, to get in any contact with you. Brushing through your hair, fixing your clothes, wiping something of your face. He will gladly take any excuse to get more comfortable with you. Accidentally brushing against your hand only to grasp it tightly a moment later. It doesn´t matter. His hugs are a bit too tight and his contact a bit too insistent, but he laughs any worries away and instead smiles brightly at you.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
While he avoids doing something in front of you, you can still tell by his split open knuckles whenever he went out to beat someone half to death for insulting you in any manner. It´s in the way, the blood is still drying and the red speckles don´t quite wash out of his collar. It´s the way his hair is even more dishevelled and bruises are forming on his face. It´s in the way, he leans against you, pride clear, demanding praise anyway.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
He isn´t one for mocking you. After all, he genuinely loves you and is delusional enough to believe that you love him just as much as well. While he can get a bit mean sometimes, it´s more in a playful manner, rather than him trying to purposefully trying to hurt you. In general he doesn´t really change from the way he treated you beforehand.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
He wants that physical contact and he doesn´t care if you want your space or not. He wants to be close to you, to ouch you, to hug you whenever he is nearby. Chifuyu always wants to have a hand on you or lean against you. But he also wants 100% of your attention always. He will do everything that he can to ensure, that he will get what he wants. No matter what you think.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
He is always talking about his days. Most of the time though, he will stick to everyday conversations which might seem meaningless but truly mean the world to him. He enjoys talking to you deeply. Sometimes he will drift off into heavier topics, but will always make sure, that you´re still comfortable with the turn talks with him sometimes take.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
Chifuyu gets annoyed. Quickly. He can´t stand it to see you fighting back, when all he wants is to have your affection. He is also can´t understand, why you would do this to him. After all, he would lay his life down for you. He is incredibly loyal to you, and he thought he made this clear for you as well. He just doesn´t understand what is going on, when you fight back
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
While he once told you, that he enjoys playing games with you, he rather meant cards or boardgames, hell even tabletop games. Not whatever this is. He doesn´t like that he has to go and look with you. He can´t stand not knowing where you are. Chifuyu wants to be close to you and spend his time with you. Not waste is searching for you. He´s always open to play games, but please let it be something different.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
At one point you will realize, that you can´t go anywhere any more without him following you. You will realize, that he is everywhere that you are. It will feel like you can´t breathe any more. And no matter what you do, or where you try to go, you will never be able to escape from him either. It´s a realization, that comes slowly, but it comes with the utmost believe that it can´t be anything else.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
Something peaceful. Something serene. Something, that could come straight out of a fairytale. He wants to have his own little happily ever after with you. It´s incredibly important to him. He wants to stick with you forever if you let him.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
He gets jealous in the same moment, where he realizes that you pay attention to someone other than him. He can´t stand it. In those moments he will become louder and more insistent when touching you. He tries every thing that he can to keep your attention on him. In the end, he will only stop if he is assured that you´re only paying attention to him, though he might leave you alone for a moment to teach the other a bloodier lesson about who is the number one in your heart.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
He hangs onto you all the time. Somehow he always manages to keep his hands on you. Clinging to you whenever he has the opportunity. He will also tend to draw your attention towards him, when he suddenly asks about topics that he knows you favour talking about. In total, he makes it clear that he is the centre of your attention, and that he won´t move from that space either.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
Chifuyu is slick. He stumbles into you and will start an easy conversation. It will be easy and beautiful to talk with him. After all, he already knows how to entertain you. Here and there, he will make sure, that you know that he pays attention to you and listens to what you say. He is a fan of sending you some funny cat pictures or just talking about your life whenever he can. He becomes first a good friend that you can confide into, then he will become something more.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
He is a lot colder and manipulative, than he truly lets on. Around you and others he will play up being a ditz. Just another stupid blond that can´t do anything right. He is an idiot, right? He isn´t. But there is no need for other people to be aware of that. It makes his life also a lot easier. No one expects him to have the insight needed, to have the emotional intelligence to play around with people. No one ever suspects the stupid blond, who can´t stop crying, when it comes to your disappearance.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
Crying. Screaming. Outright telling you, that he will hurt himself if you do that again. He never attacks you, but nothing else is safe from him, himself included. Chifuyu looses his patience in that moment and will, in a move that seems thoughtless, threaten everything that you ever hold dear. But never once he touches you. Which is quite jarring considering how he usually hangs onto you.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
He is someone who smothers you in his affection. You will never know another moment of peace after he comes into your life. Somehow, he is always hanging around you, touching you, or trying to talk to you. With that, he also takes control, slowly everything that he wants becomes part of his. His will somehow eclipsing yours.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
Back when he was still pining for his darling, he proved how patient he can truly be. Waiting days, months and weeks to actually get what he wants. Even when he approaches you again, well it would be the first time for you, he proves again how patient he can be. He is careful with his words and actions, willing to be satisfied with the smallest scrapes of affection.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
In the case you dying, he will mourn you forever. Maybe he will fall for someone else again, years down the line, but it´s unlikely, that he will actually move on from loving you. He adored you with every fibre of his easy-loving heart. You leaving him, would cause him to chase after you forever. He will never let you go. It doesn´t matter where you try to go. He will carry your picture with him, in a locket.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
He doesn´t really feel any kind of guilt about kidnapping you. For him it was something, that was absolutely necessary. He needed you to be away from all these strange people. He needed you to be safe and far away from others as possible. No matter what you do, he will not regret giving himself the opportunity to become number one in your life.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
Chifuyu always was a bit clingy as a child. But over time, it seemed like he slowly grew out of it. Only that he never truly did. He still tended to first idolize people and then follow them with an almost blind loyalty. It´s how he got into his gang, it´s simply part of how he lives his life. This is an aspect, that also shows itself in his love life.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
He doesn´t necessarily minds it, if you start to isolate yourself. It only makes his own job so much easier. But seeing you cry and scream, slowly breaks his heart. He hates to see you like this. Chifuyu will try to console you, lowly hushing you, as he rocks the both of you back and forth. You shouldn´t waste your tears like this, don´t worry, he will always stay by your side.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
Chifuyu is actually rather harmless for a yandere. He doesn´t really attack or hurt anyone around him. Him lashing out is also rare. He avoids scaring you and because he is so focused on you, he usually doesn´t even takes any note of other people. He is also absolutely besotted with you. In general he is rather laid back, if overly clingy.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
He is absolutely besotted with you. Chifuyu would almost do anything for you. Focus on the almost. His kindness and his love has a limit. At one point, even through his rose-tinted glasses he will understand what you are trying to do. You need to be careful with what you ask, otherwise he will realise that something is going on.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
It´s unlikely that he will ever hurt you. There is no clear purpose behind such an action, that he can perceive. It would bring him no further than he wants. He wants your touch, your closeness. He doesn´t want you to flinch away from him. So, hurting you, making you afraid of him, would be extremely counterproductive.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
He isn´t at a point where he worships the ground you walk upon, but it gets close to is. Chifuyu simply adores you. He loves everything about you and simply can��t stop thinking about you some days. Here and there something of yours will go missing, and it usually winds up in his possession. He collects little trinkets of yours whenever he can and adores each and every snapshot he can make of you.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
Oh, that boy can pine. Following after you for months, before he makes his first move. He watches you for what almost seems forever, before he even dares to approach you. It´s even a bit strange for himself, because usually he is just so much more confident, but with you, he really wanted to be sure, that he is well prepared. And he is. Playing the long game for as long as he can, pretending to be a completely normal boy, who is simply enamoured with you.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
It will be an accident with him. In his quest to have all your attention to himself, he forgot about a few key things. He isolated you and in the high he felt because of the success, he couldn´t see how your eyes dimmed more and more. In the end, he won´t get any reaction out of you any more, but he will still be estatic because he knows, that he will have you all for himself.
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Yandere Alphabet: Chrollo Lucilfer
That man was one of the first villains I ever truly found interesting, just because he himself doesn´t know who he is. That was such a funny thing to me. Like, considering everything he has done, and he doesn´t know the reason for it? I´m so glad, that the Phantom Troupe will be returning in the latest Manga Arc, though I know they won´t make it out of there alive. I always enjoyed seeing them, after they were first introduced to us. So, I simply had to do something for their boss.
Chrollo Lucilfer
He is the head of the spider, the leader of the Phantom Troupe. A man who is a phantom himself. A man who laid his entire self into a group of people. Who holds onto anything that live has for him with a tight grip. Who is so afraid to let go, because then he knows, those things would be lost forever to him. He is taunting, and when he has the chance to be smug he will be as well. He has problems to see you like a person, but oh dear he still loves his treasures so very much.
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
There are two very clear ways in which Chrollo will show his affection to you. One of them is loud and acted and the other one is far more quiet and honest. He will shower you in some of the jewellery he stole or anything else that either caught your eye or his. He plays it up for an imaginary audience. The other, more true to him, way to show affection is far more quiet. Sometimes he will read out a poem that reminded him of you, otherwise he will simply seek out your company. Otherwise he makes it clear, that he listens to you every once in a while.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
He doesn´t mind killing, because over the years he simply got used to it. It´s nothing special for him, just another thing, that needs to be done. Though he still tends to be quick about it. There is no need for him to spend more time on something insignificant as that as needed. It´s hard to piss him off enough to make it messy and even then he is more likely to just be clean while murdering someone brutally. In the end, he is more likely to play mind games.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
In the first few moments, maybe even days, he would ignore you. He doesn´t do this out of malice, but out of a misguided sense of care and, well let´s call it empathy. He knows, that this is a lot for you, and so he thinks the lack of interaction will help you settle better. Though, there isn´t really any kidnapping happening because he will move into your own space and keep you there with him. He gets a bit petty, when you insult him and tends to give back as good as he gets.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
He is a charmer, a born manipulator. Chrollo gives you the illusion of choice over and over again without you even noticing, that it isn´t really choice you can make. He manipulates the situation your in very carefully, as he doesn´t want you to notice this either. He tailors every situation, so that it will fit to his desires, so that his will will prevail.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
He doesn´t make himself vulnerable with you. He doesn´t want to be like that with you either. He barely knows himself, so how could he even show you the parts he doesn´t show anyone else either. He doesn´t know. He bases his personality on the people around him. He becomes whatever is needed for the people he holds close to his heart. So, if he had to be honest, he is quite happy never baring his heart and soul to you either. Maybe he doesn´t even have one.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
He very quickly grows annoyed with you but still tries to hold back and treat this like a fun game. Though, he will lose his patience with you at some point and show you what he is capable of. He regrets it almost immediately and apologizes to you. Without a moment´s notice the mask of the charming and kind man is firmly back in place.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
Though he sometimes thinks that your attempts are kind of funny, he still would like it better if you would stop doing it. He looks at you in those moments, as one would, watching a beloved pet do something stupid over and over again. He knows that there is no real chance that you will be getting away from him. So he thinks of it as being hilarious, but would prefer you settle down with him.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
He can change his personality at the drop of a head. Chrollo is very good at acting. The moment you realize that, a shiver will run down your spine and a chill will settle in your bones, that will never leave again. He makes it clear, that the way he appears to you is decided on a whim of his. There is also the lurking disregard of human life, his or others, that also carries over into his every action, that tends to freak you out.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
He can´t imagine any kind of future with you. He carries the beat of death in his heart. And he is satisfied with whatever he already got with you. He reached out to you with open hands, and he managed to catch you as well. At the moment he is content.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
He is confident in himself, when it comes to you interacting with other people. He knows, that he is able to twist himself into a personality that is everything you could ever want from him. And he also knows, that he is the only one that can do this to such an extent. So he doesn´t really get jealous, though he still wants to be the centre of your attention, and will do what he can to keep that position.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
Chrollo will be as gentle as he can with you. He likes to adore you. Most of the time he tries to act overly sophisticated, while he generally isn´t. Reading you poetry, comparing you to some of his favourite figures in literature, and quoting you some of his favourite lines as well. He acts almost sweet with you
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
He is a picture perfect gentleman around you. Polite, careful and attentive. He intrudes into your spaces without really crossing any lines at the same time. The meetings seem coincidental. At least at first. They occur to often to be chance. But because he depicts himself as non-threatening you will let it slide. This is how he gets close. Involving you in several conversations just so, that he can learn more about you.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
Considering, that he has a habit of basing his entire personality on other people, there is always a mask in place, that he can never get rid off. He feels empty inside. He is the amalgamation of what all the people he ever loved needed from him. And so he becomes what you need from him as well. But over time more and more of his other personality traits will slip in as well.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
He goes all quiet when he is angry. It´s a slow anger, that he keeps a tight leash on. It´s something, that is vicious and barely noticeable at the same time. It hardens his face and wipes every emotion out of his face. It makes him cold and cruel. It makes him creative.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
When he moves in with you, no matter what you have to say about it, he also takes control over your life. Well not completely. Only when he is around. He still travels a lot, as he did before. Always on the move. It´s rare, that he demands that you will come with him. He likes it better when you are safe at home, where nothing can really happen to you. When he returns to you though, he craves to be the centre of your attention. He wants you around, and to interact with him. You won´t have single moment truly to yourself, when he is near by.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
Chrollo likes to display himself as a patient man. He isn´t really, but because he holds on tightly to this image it makes him quite patient anyway. No one needs to know, that he is clenching his jaw and his body tensing with annoyance. With you, he tries even harder to patient and charming and most of the time he is even quite successful.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
He will mourn the loss of you. It feels to him, as if he lost another piece of himself with you. He has laid loving you, adoring you, as an important foundation of his personality. You were something, someone, that he based his personality around again. You were as important to him, as his spider is. And now he lost you. His grief overwhelms him and he doesn´t know what to do. So he throws himself back into being the head of the spider.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
He can never regret reaching his hands out for something, that he wants. He knows, that he needs to take what he wants, because the world will never offer it to him for free. There is nothing there that he should regret. He sometimes feels almost melancholic though, when he realizes that you aren´t as carefree as before, that he made you change. That he is the cause behind this change.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
He grew up with nothing. Life taught him over and over again that if he wants to have something that he will need to take it. It taught him that if he wants to keep something he will have to fight for it. Over and over again these lessons were drilled into his skull. Over the years he would find peace in his eventual death, because he laid his life into the hands of his spider. It´s strange for him to feel so strongly again.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
It disappoints him to see how you loose your composure that quickly. In the end though he will be far more interested to observe this new facet of you. It makes you appear more human that something like this seems to pull out such a strong reaction from you. Though if he notices that you start to pull back is when he will pull you out of your fit again. No need to loose that shiny personality of your now.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
He will invade your space, instead of forcing you to stay in his. There won´t be a chance of him kidnapping you in a traditional sense. Also, he will be well-liked by most of your peers, because he can play of normal and charming young gentleman very well. Another thing that differentiates him is that he will never be able to open up to you. No matter if you try or not.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
He has an unfortunate habit to shift his personality to fit better into any situation. He always tries to be the most charming version of him that he can. In the end Chrollo lacks an identity that he can rely on. There is no sense of self that can help him to steady himself. This doesn´t mean that he necessarily easy to shake up, but it´s something that can be achieved. Something that can be exploited to manipulate the situation to your favour.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
Chrollo wouldn´t hurt you directly. He has enough self-control to avoid that. But what he will do is threaten everyone you love with a pleasant smile on his lips. He doesn´t care about other people. He doesn´t have the energy for it either. His priority is you. Not whoever you hold dear. He also won´t mind to render them apart if it ensures that you will stay at his side. Or at least won´t act out in an obvious manner.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
He is someone that sees you as an immeasurable treasure. He wants you as soon as he sets his eyes on you, and is not willing to change his mind over you either. While he doesn´t outright worship you, he still puts you on a pedestal. After all you make him feel alive. A feeling that he very deeply treasures and will chase after. He tries to be charming at first, and will try to win you over like that.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
He doesn´t really pine in the first place. He sees you, recognizes that he wants you, then he takes you. There is no period of time, where he just can´t stop thinking about you. His desire overtakes him quickly and completely. Like it always does. And he has learned early: To get what he wants, he has to take you. Nothing comes for free after all, and while patience is a virtue, there is nothing, that can hold him back.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
He would threaten to do this to them. Though he would never actually do it. He makes you aware, that this could be a possibility, without the intention to do it. He likes you. He thinks, that they are interesting. So, why would he break that? Sure, there is some beauty in all the broken things of this world. Doesn´t mean you have to break too. But there is no sense in letting them know that. He likes the fear in your eyes, when he tangles the empty promise over their head.
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Yandere Alphabet: Mitsuya Takashi
It was so much fun to write something for him. I really like him a lot. I´ve had it finished quite a bit ago, and thought now would be a good time to share it. I actually finished quite a bit pieces, when I had the time. But in October my university started back up again, so I now I´m posting what accumulated in the inbetween to give myself a little breather...
Mitsuya Takashi
That boy can play innocent. And he knows it! I believe, that Mitsuya is genuinely someone, that uses his reputation to manipulate everyone around him. He carefully cultivates the image people have of him as well. A little two-faced snake. By the way, I honestly believe, that he feels fulfilment whenever he can take care of someone. He is used to it, and he loves it.
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
Taking care. He shows his affection for his darling in taking care of them. Whatever they need, he will be there to provide it for them. He wants to be needed by his love, and so he does everything to make sure, that he can´t be replaced. He has an eye for details, and he uses it. Small annoyances will just vanish out of your life, because he will already have dealt with them, before they can get to his love.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
He is more used to violence than he lets on. While he tries to resolve tension peacefully at first, it won´t take long, before he decided that a good old fist to the face won´t have the same result. He clearly isn´t above brawling to get someone to back off. Though his fights are always disturbingly clean. He knows how to get someone down quickly, and how to keep them down. Afterwards, he will be careful to touch his love, not wanting to get anything on them.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
Rather than abducting his love, they simply won´t leave again. Why would he go to the trouble of abducting them, when he can simply invite them over to his house? He just has to find enough excuses to ensure, that they never leave his side again, and then he will have them. Here. With him. Of their own free will. This is exactly how he does it. A small invitation to his home, becomes the same as if you suddenly agreed to live with him.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
He will do a lot of things, that at the beginning of the relationship would have gone against what his love wants, but nowadays align pretty well with each other. Mitsuya slowly manipulates his love, so that their wants and need start to align more and more. Another thing he is quite fond of is slipping his love some sedatives every once and a while. It will make him feel useful, when he can then flit around you to nurse his love back to health. But not only that, it also makes him feel safer.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
He believes that a good relationship is dependent on a good communication. This in turn, will make him quite open. He adores a good conversation with his love, and craves to know their thoughts and feelings on any topic. While he won´t always agree with your opinion, you can be sure, that he will always take it into account, when making a decision. He wants to know their feelings as well, and in turn shares his own frequently with you.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
Seeing his love acting like this makes him angry. He is close to loosing his patience with them every time, they start screaming at him again. You become unrecognizable to him. In the end, he isn´t above to use medications to let them become docile again. After all, he doesn´t mind, when they can´t take care of themself and need him for everything. It gives him ideas to keep his love always like this.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
He will let you try to escape exactly once, even if they won´t realize what they are doing counts as an escape attempt. When they are on the run, he will play on their sympathy so badly. He will make the world outside his domain seem scary and cruel. He will act as if the result of them leaving will be his literal suffering. Sometimes he will offer them to go out, and relish when he gets a „No“ from them.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
Hindsight. The scariest and most disturbing thing with Mitsuya will be hindsight. You will never notice what he is up to in the moment. It´s hard to catch even when you start looking for it, so it always fly under your radar. Though looking back, thinking clearly and with the time between you and the situation, things start to clear up. More and more you can tell what was happening around you the whole time. And it´s disturbing. But at this point you´re not in any position to do anything against it. Not any more.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
When Mitsuya thinks of the future, he can never get an actual image to come to mind. In the end he chases after impressions. The sunlight filtering in through the half open window. Laughter, that never seems to leave the halls. Your limbs tangling with his own. He wants to hear them breath and the rhythm of their heartbeat. A future that he wished for is safe. Almost cozy. And always with his love by his side.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
He doesn´t want to waste his emotions on something, that will never happen anyway. He is confident enough in himself to know, that you cheating on him is a low possibility at worst, and a downright hilarious thought at best. His manner of thinking in that way his more practical. Doesn´t mean, that he doesn´t want to keep his love all to himself. He does. But not because he is jealous. At least not of other people. But he wants to keep them close. Always.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
He dotes on his love. And sometimes acts more like a parent than a lover. It certainly caused an argument before. But he still never changes his way of acting. He flutters around his darling and tends to keep an eye on them. He encourages them to try out new things, as long as they can be done in the comfort of home. He creates for them, and has a plethora of nicknames for his love, though he always circles back to the same one. He is a constant presence, but never becomes suffocating.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
He takes them on dates. All the time. He wants this to develop like a normal relationship would. Because of that he pays attention. What are they saying? What do they like? What do they hate? He makes it clear, that he is aware of the preferences of his love, and likes to show it to them every once in a while. It´s almost adorable. Sometimes he will tease. Other times he makes sure that they know, that they are an inspiration for him.
Mask: Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
He always managed to hide it well. Even the people closest to him will be mostly unaware of it. But he is a lot more controlling and manipulative than he lets other people see. It mostly shows itself in wanting to know where the other person his all the time. Most people won´t even realize that he is digging for more information when he small talks. He wants to be in control, and he can even get it quite easily.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
He won´t punish his love, but he can get annoyed. If that happens, he will try an keep his distance for a while. Either because he doesn´t want to hurt them right now with carelessly chosen words or because he is trying to understand their point and needs a bit more time to mull it over. But if it got really bad between his love and him, he will simply make them regret it by purposefully putting himself into dangerous situations.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
Mitsuya wants to become the primary caretaker of his love and so he will do everything, that he can to actually achieve that goal. It doesn´t matter to him if they will even realize what is happening around them. He is stubborn in that regard and pursues this with a rare single-mindedness, that is almost never seen by him. One day, they might realize that all medical decisions are done solely by him, but this could take quite a while.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
Very. He is here to play the long game. It doesn´t matter to him, that this means, that he has to wait several weeks or even months to get to his goal. He will wait. In the end, he is sure that this will all be worth it, because his love won´t even suspect a thing.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
Mitsuya is heartbroken in that moment. He can´t quite understand why they are doing this to him. What went wrong? But he will not drown himself in self-pity for long, before he comes after them. He will get them back. That they will leave him behind forever, after all that he did for them, is not even a possibility in his mind. There is no way, he will let that perfect love escape him. Not now. Never again.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
Considering that he never really abducts his darling, he can´t really feel guilty about it either. He invites them over one day and then simply makes sure, that there are enough reasons for them to stay. Indefinitely. Of course there is a bit guilt, when he sees them crying over him because of his manipulations. He feels bad in that moment but tries to soothe his own guilt with comforting you.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
He had always loved to take care of his little sisters when his mom simply couldn´t. And over time he would develop a possessive streak and some sort of separation anxiety. He can hide it very well, but it never goes away. He wants to be as close as possible to the people he loves, and wants them to dependent on him as well. Because then, they could not leave that easily, if they really need him.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
Somehow it makes him feel incompetent. He hates to see his love like this. And no matter what he does, nothing seems to be working. He will try so hard to cheer them back up again. But when everything seems to fail, he will become despondent over time as well. Just sitting next to them, as he tries to plead one last time with them. You will have to pull yourself out of this slump and him with you.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
Soft. The one thing, that differentiates him to a great extent from the classic yandere is that Mitsuya is soft. He doesn´t want to hurt his love and instead always makes sure, that they are well taken care of. He doesn´t force his presence onto them, when he can tell, that they don´t want him close. He is gentle and kind, and he weaves an unnoticeable web around his love that they can never escape.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
Mitsuya at his core is an incredibly soft and gentle man. He wants to take care of the people he loves. It never matter to him, what needs to be done, he will do it, if it can benefit his loved ones. This is his strength, but also his only vice. He can be manipulated, he can be convinced. But if it fails, he will be hurt. And this hurt might make him cold.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
He will never hurt his love in a way, that would show. While he can get angry with them, he tends to become louder instead of physical. In a fight with his darling his words may grow sharp and he will purposefully keep a distance between them, to not even accidentally hurt his love. But there is one thing he will always do, not caring about the side effects. Some days, he will just slip them something, just so that he can watch them sleep without any tension for as long as he wants. Just so he can stop being afraid, that they will just leave him.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
Mitsuya adores them. He sees them as the love of his live. There are few things he wouldn´t do to keep them by his side, and most of them he would do if needed anyway. He loves them so deeply. But while he never puts them on a pedestal, he still sees them always as their best version. He always wants them to be the best version of themself they could be as well. He never outright worships his love, but he will sometimes just sit there and appreciate them being here with him.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
He is someone, that goes out of his way to court his love. Taking them on dates, and letting them fall in love with him is so important to him. He wants them, to want him. He will take them out to walks in the park, picknicks, getting a coffee, stargazing. Everything he can think of, that he believes will be romantic. Maybe he will show of his skills to them as well. He doesn´t snap. He lays a trap, that is designed to go unnoticed.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
This is not something that he outright wants. On one hand, he wants to always take care of his love. So does this mean, that he can never treat them cruelly enough to break them? Or does this means that he will break them, because taking care of them will be easier then? In the end, he is more likely to pick the hard way. He likes them after all quite a bit. A bit of struggling can be fun too? Right? Don´t make him regret this decision, he can always change it after all.
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Yandere Alphabet: Hanemiya Kazutora
He is just my little guy, ya know? I just had to write something for him. Especially, cuz I got a little request of the rest of the trio. But I because I had him already ready I though I would present him to you first. I´ll hope you´ll live this delusional little guy just as much as I do.
Hanemiya Kazutora
Someone, who twists the reality he sees, to fit whatever might save his mental state, even though he keeps destroying it again and again. He is someone, who makes his smile and easy-going nature the most dangerous thing about him. He is someone, who will completely fall into whatever delusion would best fit the narrative, that excuses him from any fault. Good luck with that...
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
That boy is all about the physical contact. It is clear, that this is his main love language. He wants to pull you close when ever he sees you. He wants to hold you when ever you are in his reach. His grip always a bit too tight. It becomes clear, that he wants to be as close to you as possible, and when he murmurs, that he would love to burrow himself beneath your skin, right next to your hear, it doesn´t surprise you at all.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
He will be so cruel. It is all he knows. All he was thought by his parents. With knuckles split apart, laughing brightly, blood dripping on cement, he will jump people when they simply brush past you. He act fast, and downs the other even faster. He looks to you, blood splattered over his face, slowly dripping down his knuckles. It becomes clear to you. He is insane. His love violent. His smile bright.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
He is delusional. Painting himself a pretty picture, where you love him just as much as he does love you. He will lose sight of reality very quickly, and there is no way, that you will be able to break through them. So, he doesn´t have a reason to taunt and mock them. Why would he? He is a bit callous some times, a bit sharp around the edges. But he doesn´t even realise it, when he is mean to you. Most of the time, he rather sits next to you, to coo over you.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
He keeps you awfully close. Always in range of him simply trapping you and pulling you closer to him. He also takes control over your entire life. Isolating you and pushing you into surroundings, where he can know about your every step. He has some kind separation anxiety, always had, that was blown out off proportions, when he met you. He hates to have you out of his sight, and will work on keeping it on you for as long as he can.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
He kinda tends to talk about whatever comes to his mind. Just chattering, about everything and yet nothing at the same time. Though, he will also sometimes start to talk about things, that he guarded so close to his heart. Things, where he can only stutter, as he describes something, that he couldn´t believe for his own sake for a long time. He unravels sometimes his delusions for the one he loves, though he still can´t unravel his most recent one. The one that concerns you. So on a technically he bares his entire heart towards his darling, though he is so deeply delusional that it might not ever be what he feels. Though he wouldn´t know that, if that was the case.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
He hates it so much. It becomes pure agony for him to see you fighting back against him. Against his love. He will cry, tears streaming down his face, as he experiences heartbreak over and over again. His emotions are suddenly in overdrive, with no chance of him making sense of them. He is screaming, his face puffy, and his voice breaking and warbling on every word. In the end, he will be a worse mess than you.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
This is not a game for him, and it would be better for you to understand this very quickly for your own good. He will physically harm you to stop you from going away, from leaving him. So, you better don´t even think about it. He will break your ankles as often as he needs to till you learned the lesson, that you can´t get away from him. And he will do, all of this without any hesitation at all.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
The worst experience you will run through with him, is the moment he kidnaps you. What makes it so bad, that you can´t see any difference between how he usually acts compares to now. It comes as a complete surprise, when he brings you to his home and starts to insist, that you are already home. Here. With him. This is also the day, where he will make you realise what will happen to you, if you try to escape from him. And all the while, he will act like he usually does.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
It´s some form of a messed up white-picket-fence dream, that he dreams about. He already has sunken so deeply into his delusions, that most of the time, he isn´t even aware, that he would still need to work to get his dream fulfilled. In his mind, he is already there with you. Has already achieved every thing he wanted, when it comes to building a relationship with you. He already lived in a future, that in reality he will never get.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
He does get jealous, and it will be a slow and almost lazy rage. Kazutora won´t turn his anger towards you, but you will surely witness it. He will destroy the other person. It will be frightening. He takes great care to ruin the other person. For once his planing is immaculate, as he concentrates on this single goal. He will grin at you. Teeth bloody. Knuckles cracked open. He will show you with glee what he did. Expecting your pride and admiration. Your cooing over him. Like you and him had the same goal.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
That boy will fuss over you at every opportunity, that he gets. He loves the high and woozy feeling, that he gets, whenever he takes care of you. And so he will sought to repeat it as often as he can. He goes really sweet on you. But it´s too much. He tends to ignore any kind of protest and instead will just keep doing whatever it was. It´s like he can´t quite hear you. Twisting your words around as they get spoken. Sinking deeper into his delusions.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
He comes into your life one day, and just decides to stay. At first, he was just always around. Later, he would just talk, not always with but rather, at you. You might find it strange, might even complain about it. In the end, you might even try to avoid him. Nothing works. He inserts himself quite neatly into your life and refuses to be cut out again. He always seems to find his way back to you, no matter what you do.
Mask: Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
It´s not that his true colours are drastically different. It´s more, that he sunk completely into his own delusions and can´t find his way back. He is a lot kinder to you, than anyone else. But it´s never a mask. He is just more inclined to act positively with you, giving you a second chance, where he might ruin other´s at the first mistake. He likes you. This is, what gives you enough room to make mistakes and come out alive at the other side. He gives you that room. And he doesn´t mind.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
He becomes very quickly very violent. At first he is calm, still talking to you with a gentle smile on his face. Then he strikes. He is cruel and thoughtless. He just attacks. It won´t matter how you try to hold him back. Don´t even try to plead with him. He is someone that will ignore it in the moment. Strangely, there is nothing but fear in his eyes, though one would never guess why. He is so violent, because he is afraid to end up alone again. He doesn´t know better. But that´s not an excuse, is it?
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
He wants all of their attention all of the time. A real green-eyed monster he is. Constantly pawing at you like an impatient cat. Don´t let him know that one, he would love being described like that. He wants you all to himself. In the end, he will isolate them, and try to control every single thing in their life. His delusions of this being something domestic will shine their brightest here. It´s obvious that he tries. And somehow he succeeds
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
At first he likes the chase. Following you where ever you go. Having to find you over and over again. Then he quickly grows tired of it. It starts to annoy him. Never finding his darling where he expects them to be. It grates on his nerves. Till one day, he simply decides, to never leave your side again. He takes joy in staying close to you, so why would he ever refuse himself this joy?
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
He is heartbroken. Desperate. He tries to find fault in everybody around him. No one and nothing is safe from him in these few weeks he lashes out. Afterwards he grows quiet. Pulls back from every one. One promise. He will see them again. Even if it has to be in death.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
Oh no! What is there to feel guilty about even in the first place. He is not someone, who recognizes what he did as a kidnapping. That is not what happened here. Not at all. He just moved in with you. Or rather you moved in with him. Right? Why are you lying? This is all that happened! Stop lying already!
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, tec)?
He grew up in an abusive home, then in an emotional negligent one. He always had a problem with attachment. It only got worse over the years. Killing someone that young, surely broke something in him. That was the start of his delusions. Not that juvie, and with that being surrounded by other violent teens, helped in any manner. He never learned how to properly deal with his emotions. And he likely never will.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
While it does worry him, most of the time he will just deal with it. Sitting back and letting them do their thing. He knows, that he can be like this as well. Throwing tantrums, that is. And he is allowed doing it. So, why shouldn´t they? It´s not like it´s separating them. It´s the opposite! It´s something they have in common. So, he let´s them be. They will tire themself out soon enough, ans then he can swoop back in like nothing ever happened in the first place.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
He is completely delusional, when it comes to you. He has lost all grips on reality. Kazutora can´t differentiate between what is real and what isn´t any more. He is most of the time lost to his fantasies. As long, as his delusions won´t be disturbed, he will do his best to be a perfect and doting boyfriend to his partner. But as soon, as there is any hint of resistance, just the idea of things not being like he thought, he will turn to excessive violence, to gain control over the situation once again.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
His fragile mental state. He is not always quite aware of what is happening around him, which causes several episodes where he can´t differentiate any more, between what is real and what isn´t. Those are the moments, where it would be the easiest to spin a story, that will cause him even greater confusion. Would make keeping you here so much harder for him. He can´t tell what is the truth any more. But why would his darling ever lie to him?
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
There is very little needed to motivate him, to turn on his darling. He will become excessively violent, when he notices you pulling away from him. Every disturbance to his carefully built delusions, that wrap reality for him, are met with a violent response. He will turn on the one he loves. Quickly. Brutal. Cruel. Just like he does on everything, that would take them away from them. Worse will be the broken apologies spewing from his lips, as his empty eyes fix you with a vacant stare.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
Kazutora love you so much, that sometimes it feels like his heart is being torn asunder. His whole world revolves around you, because he chose for it to be this way. He adores his darling so badly. But there is one thing. His love is not unconditional. It´s based on the life he imagines. It even varies with how much you reciprocate. He makes his love dependent on you. And so it is likely to change every once in a while.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
He trails after you like a lost puppy. Always sticking close to your side, and never leaving far. He truly just sticks to you. And at first, that will be all he is doing. Though, over time he will realize, that nothing is changing. You still regard him the same way, that you did in the beginning. It annoys him. He hates it so much! Why are you ignoring him? Why can´t you see, what he feels for you? What he wants from you! This is the moment he will snap. This where, he will decide to throw all caution to the wind, and loose himself in something, he might never recover from.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
Kazutora won´t break his darling, at least he will think so. He will see, how you calm over time, and how he can grow more lenient with you, without you rebelling against him again any more. What he doesn´t see are the numerous cracks, that made their home in your mind and spirit. How you slowly stopped caring, and how your mind retreated to keep you safe from him. He won´t notice the cracks, will think that you are completely fine. You know better, but at this point you don´t care.
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Yandere Alphabet: Killua Zoldyck
He was a lot of fun to get into. The first crush I ever had on an animated figure, roughly 10 years ago. It was a lot of fun for me to come back to him.
Killua Zoldyck
The heir of a famous family of assassins. Manipulated since birth and tortured since childhood. Someone, who knows more ways to kill someone, than you can even imagine. A deeply hurt boy, who just wants to heal. Though I fear, the he is going to be the last of your worries. There are others, far more dangerous people in his vicinity, that I would rather watch out for.
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
He is a bit socially stunted, maybe even emotionally. He won´t be the first to admit it, but he will admit it. Still, he is trying. He observes what the couples on the streets are doing, and then hesitantly, he will try to recreate it. Shyly, he will grasp for his darlings head, turning his head away to hide his rising blush. He is not used to it, so when you pull away, he will let go. Maybe he did something wrong? He doesn´t know, and it shows.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
He won´t quite recognize some actions as flirtations, if they are not obvious, so that won´t be a problem. Though, he does understand a threat when he sees one, and that is also the moment, when blood will flow. Probably not, where his darling could ever see it, but the problem will be removed. Clean and efficient, for something his childhood training had to be good for after all, no? So, if someone threatens you or makes you uncomfortable, they will be gone the very next day.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
He isn´t one for abduction in the first place. Instead, he simply won´t leave your side. Travelling somewhere? It´s obviously more fun with another person around. Just resting at home, he just can stay as well, no? He doesn´t kidnap his darling, but they also won´t be able to get rid of him any more.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?
Well, as his darling, you can very early on bide your personal space farewell. It will never return to you either. He sticks close to his darling, even if it just staying in the same room. He always makes sure, that you somewhat around each other. The only time, he will ever forcefully take control of a situation, where it might cut into your own autonomy, is when the two of you faced with a danger that will be deadly. Then he will flee with you, if you want to or not doesn´t matter in that moment.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
The truths slip out, when he least expect it most of the time. It´s not that he even tells his darling everything that he knows, and more that he, even unconsciously, has laid his entire heart and emotional well being into your hands. His darling is supposed to be his moral compass, his balance in everything. When he runs into an emotional barrier, he tends to look to his darling for guiding. He really put his all with you.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
He doesn´t understand it. Not at all. What is going on? He tries to find the logical reason behind what is going on, but it takes a long time for him, to even get an idea why you are fighting him. Are you trying to play with him? But then, why do you look so serious, while fighting? That boy has no clue. Still he keeps trying, maybe he will figure out along the way, or his darling will stop on their own. Whatever comes first.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
He doesn´t even register his darlings escape attempts as such. Though, he does wonder, why you would want to play hide and seek now out of all times. It´s not, that he doesn´t enjoy a good game, but he had been actually sleeping for once. He would even giggle, when you break out in a mad dash to get away from him, amused by your antics and apparent playfulness, to play tag now. Yes, your escape attempts are just games for him, because there is nothing you would need to escape from after all, right? Though he can´t help himself but to look over his shoulder, because sometimes his darling looks so afraid.
Hell: What would be their darling's worst experience with them?
He wouldn´t even be at fault for his darlings worst experience with him, because it would simultaneously his own worst experience as well. It´s when his family, specifically his oldest brother, catches up to the two of you. Killua is terrified, as he desperately tries to get you back from the hands of his family, while you suddenly decide, that maybe he isn´t all that bad. After all, you just got confronted with how bad it actually could be, and you know what. You rather keep just Killua, than getting into contact with the rest of the family one more time. Except Alluka, she seems to be nice. Oh... Well, nevermind. You prefer the boy, thank you.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
He is someone who is already glad to simply stay by the side of his darling for as long as he can. He doesn´t imagine anything special or detailed. The only thing, that Killua desires of the future is, that whatever might happen, or wherever he may go, that it will still be by his darlings side. He doesn´t want that the path of you two will ever part again. So just stay, will you? By his side, while he stay by yours.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
Sometimes, there is this biting feeling in his chest, that he doesn´t quite understand. The one, that makes him grab for you, to pull himself closer to you, that makes him frown and glare at other people. A feeling, that almost feels like annoyance, like bloodlust slowly trickling in. He hates that feeling so much, and so he leans closer to you, because it will leave if his darling is close. It will leave, when he nuzzles himself into your side like an affectionate cat. Your smile is the only solution he needs, when that feeling burns him.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
It´s actually rather often, that people are reminded of a cat, when looking at Killua. He is dangerous like one, moves like one, and some would even swear that he grins like one. They would no be wrong. His darling also sees him like a cat. An excessively affectionate one, but a cat nonetheless. Nuzzling you randomly, and a limb always thrown over you when you sitting close to each other. When you are walking he is close by, shadowing your footsteps. Sometimes he nudges you with his head. You tend to ignore it, when he starts to chew on something gently, without breaking skin or fabric.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
One day, he simply approaches you, introducing himself and naturally you would do the same. He would just throw the two of you into a conversation, somehow always finding something to keep the conversation going, and before you know it hours pass, while the two of you are still joking around with each other. He would offer you food every now and them, either part of his snacks or pay for dinner. In your conversations you might notice, that he sometimes talks about what he achieved. It never sounds boastful, and more often that he is just talking about it. He also stays rather close, and sometimes tends to act like a cat around you.
Mask: Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
When one considers his childhood, the thought that he tends to keep his actual emotions and thoughts under lock and key, seems reasonable. Even though his emotions always shimmer through, when he is around you, not only because he uses you to understand what he is feeling, but also because he doesn´t feel the need to hide away with you. Though some things stay hidden, even from you. Especially if he might feel some kind of bloodlust, it will not show in anyway. His insecurities on the other hand, always seem to be so obvious to you in the way he holds himself, even if he is completely unaware of it.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
Even though he grew up in a violent household, being tortured and poisoned all his childhood along, he can´t do it. He isn´t able to inflict any kind of pain onto his darling no matter what had happened before. Even though violence should be one of the most normal things for him, and mostly it, he still can´t bring himself to do it. He is sure, that if you ever in pain, that he would feel it as well, it twist around in his chest and it hurts so much, and so as punishment, he can only hold onto you and cry, his grip tight and bruises blooming under his fingers. He will apologise in the end as he pushes some chocolate into your hands.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
Be aware, that he will always be around you. There isn´t really any physical space left between the two of you, as he for some reason always tends to brush against you. With the fact, that he takes up a lot of your physical space, your privacy will also suffer from it, though that is to be expected. Though the loss of these things, tend to not appear to obvious to his darling, because he knows how to keep it hidden. Also, you tend to keep so many of your freedoms, and he manages to twist your words and actions so much, that you are the one pulling him along anyway.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
He is very patient in his advances, and tends to wait. After all, why would he be impatient at this point anyway. He already got everything he wanted. He has your attention, stays close by your side. All he wanted, he has achieved. There it nothing more that he could want, and so he is able to lean back and just wait. His darling will surely come back to him again. He simply knows it.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
There are a few ways, it could play out. It is all depending on how the darling leaves. If you ever die, he will follow you. He wouldn´t even think twice about it, before leaving as well. If you escape without him noticing, he will assume the worst and think you had been kidnapped, and will go on to search for you. He wants to find you again as quickly as he can. There is also a peaceful way, that he will leave you. If you manage to convince him, that it would be the best for the both of you to part way, he will follow your wish, but he will harbour the wish in his heart to meet you again, when he can.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
He can´t really regret kidnapping his darling, because if you want to get technical he never kidnapped anyone. In the end, he never abducted anyone. He follows you around, not the other way around. He never forced you to follow him either. Is he persuasive, if he wants to? Yes. Still, doesn´t mean that he kidnapped anyone.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
The root of his problems is to be found in his childhood, to absolutely no one´s surprise. He was depraved early on, of affection, human connections and the emotions that come with all of those things. As he grows older, he kind of missed the timeframe in which all those things would have still come naturally to him, and so he tends to be a bit extreme in all he does. It takes a while till he recognises an emotions, and even longer to figure out how to react to it.- from childhood on depraved of affection, human connection and emotions
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
It pains him everytime to see his darling in any kind of pain. He doesn´t quite know what to do at this point, and it scares him. He feels helpless and insecure, feeling as if he is incapable of even doing the smallest things for his darling. Soon he tries to awkwardly imitate people he saw comforting someone else. In most cases, it will make him sound somewhat motherly.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
What makes him different is the amount of the control the darling holds. He is already dependent on you for a majority of things, while you aren´t. He also doesn´t plan to make you dependent on him in any way. You decide where to go next, what you talk about, while he is content to simply follow you along, and nods along to whatever you tend to say. You are the one in control, not him.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
He is absolutely codependent on his darling. Relying on you to give what he needs to fulfil his emotional cravings. He will also do whatever it takes, so that you can keep meeting those as well. Killua tends to be slightly insecure, when it comes to interacting with you. He doesn ´t want to overwhelm you with the teachings of his family, and so he is always walking a fragile line. Especially because he was raised the way he was, he has troubles understanding his own emotions, and quite frankly doesn´t know what a healthy relationship looks like. It´s something, that he desperately wants, and you are his focal point when it comes to that.
Wit's end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
He doesn´t want to ever hurt you. Still, it will happen. He will grab you sometimes too tightly, thinking you are just as sturdy as him, while you simply aren´t. His nails sometimes catch on your skin, pulling bright red gashes over you, as he panics when the smell of blood hits his nose. He truly doesn´t want to harm you, but it becomes quickly clear, that he is not always aware of his own strength, and that you are so much more fragile, than he could ever be. Accidents happen, and he cries over every bruise and scar. He tries to be so careful with you, but he never can be.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
He hunts for a relationship outside of his family. It doesn´t matter to him if it´s friendship or something else, as soon as he has it, he reveres it. This is what he so desperately wished for. The one thing, he would give everything he had for. So it is only logical, that he reveres the people he holds these relationships just as much. He treasures these people and holds them close to his heart, as he does everything he can to be allowed by their side. He wants so badly to be here. To bask in the warmth, that blooms in his chest, the quiet crackle, he only feels in the presence of those he loves.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
Killua will yearn forever for his darling, if he has to. Staying by your side keeps his temper in check, as he simply enjoys being with you. Though, there is one thing, that will make him snap like a bowstring. It´s when his family gets the bright idea to involve themselves with you as well. It´s a panic, that will drive him from this moment onward. He is afraid of losing you to his family, and so he will stick as close to you as he can. In that moment, he also stops to hide of close he always is to you, how much of his attention always lingers on you. It´s the only way he can ensure your survival. Making it clear, that he will know.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
It is not something, that would ever cross his mind, and if it ever did, it would horrify him to no end. While he sometimes misjudges his own strength, he never once harmed you mentally. He is surprisingly attuned to the way your mind works. Your thought process is not a secret for him, as he follows it effortlessly. He is very careful with you and around you. Minding how his actions might impact you in the long run, and taking care to not traumatise you. This time, his trying succeeds.
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