aroacearborvitae

[aroacearborvitae]

Shout out to mean aros. They keep the world moving

[aroacearborvitae]

Aromantic awareness week!!!!

[aroacearborvitae]

as someone in the aro community (and i think this is also applicable to the ace community, which is why y’all are included), i think there is something to be said about people trying to find a moral explanation to their repulsion. in a some situations, it is helpful and there is a conversation to be had about it but in a lot of others, it’s just recycled purity culture, i’m going to be honest.

before you send a post about how you think it’s actually exhibitionist to kiss in public, or predatory to talk about people you want to sexually pursue with your friends, please ask yourself first if there is genuinely something wrong morally going on there, or if it’s just something that grosses you out. it’s completely okay if it’s something that grosses you out. you don’t need to make up a moral reason behind it. you can just say ‘it grosses me out’ and find a way to remove yourself from that situation, for exemple, by looking away, or asking your friends to not talk about those topics around you (if they refuse, that’s another problem entirely and you should get better friends).

it is as unhealthy for allo people to repress their romantic and/or sexual attraction than it is for us to repress our aromanticism and/or asexuality. this isn’t like an theoretical extrapolation, this is a proven phenomenon, we’ve seen it with the catholic church. i understand and empathize with the fact that it feels like all of this is forced upon us, because it is, but there is a difference between someone telling us ‘i like this’ and someone telling us ‘you’re weird/broken if you don’t like this’.

anyways, sorry for the rant, i keep seeing posts in the aro and/or ace tags that try to justify their repulsion with morality, and i don’t want to single out anyone so i thought i’d make this post. there is no issue with posting about repulsion itself, for the record, it’s the moral justification that i think is unhelpful.

you don’t need any justification for your repulsion, you can just be repulsed. that’s fine.

[aroacearborvitae]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

[aroacearborvitae]

as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.

[aroacearborvitae]

The definition is pretty close to what I experienced, or at least I think so, it really has been hard for me to distinguish

Either way, the flag is very pretty and I thought to use it as a pallet

[aroacearborvitae]

an aromantic person is someone who (fill in the blank here) // april 10 2024

[aroacearborvitae]

manic pixie dream aromantic old man

#seconding prev. goals

[aroacearborvitae]

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

[aroacearborvitae]

i love you polyam i love you t4t i love you queerplatonic relationships i love you gay friendships with and without romantic tension i love you casual intimacy i love you caring deeply about people i love you being in love on purpose i love you love and i love you lovers

[aroacearborvitae]

new zine about asexual history! this one's been rattling around my head for awhile

[aroacearborvitae]

baps you with my sloppily edited aro paw

Hi, hello???? This is like the best message I've ever gotten. Im enamored with all the swirls. You have such vision. Baps you baps you baps you <2

[aroacearborvitae]

So, I was thinking today about how, as an aroace, I started identifying as asexual several months before I started identifying as aromantic. I just found it more difficult to come to terms with my aromanticism than my asexuality, thereby taking me longer to accept it.

And that got me curious:

#ace almost a year before aro I think #ace was a much easier realization but the aro community was also so small at the time #that I could only find it thru aces

[aroacearborvitae]

happy birthday all asexuals

[aroacearborvitae]

[aroacearborvitae]

I decided to make yet another aroace wallpaper, since I'm not sure I feel comfortable using my Lovejoy ones anymore. This one is good if you want something subtle!

[aroacearborvitae]

after this website decided to attempt to ban porn and ns fw content, it's honestly become a nightmare to navigate as an asexual person w/ sexual trauma. because next to no one uses the mature filter, or tags things as ns fw or even ns ft for fear of having their content or blogs taken down, it means that tumblr has returned to the wild west of random porn flooding your dashboard with next to nothing you can do about attempting to filter it out again

it's not great for a lot of people in general, even outside of asexuality; people with jobs who browse tumblr in their down time, people who have or work with kids, people who spend a lot of time in public, people who are often at religious establishments or events, children and teenagers- there are load of children who lie about their birth date in order to sign up for just about any website ever, the amount of minors are on here is staggering. this is not good many people in general.

as an asexual person with a long history of sexual trauma, i struggle to navigate my dashboard or even certain tags right now. even the act of tagging certain posts will have tumblr suggest 'related' tags that are nsf w even if you are tagging things something simple like "ftm" or "enby" or "butch lesbian". it's great that other people are flourishing and embracing their sexuality, but it comes at the cost of making this website very difficult to browse for asexual people and people with sexual trauma

my heart goes out to the rest of you who are absolutely exhausted and triggered by this. again it's wonderful for the people who enjoy it, but because of how strict the tagging and filtering systems are on this website and how easy it is to get your entire blog deleted just by having a single thing flagged as mature, this website has gotten significantly worse at actually filtering the content they set out to remove in the first place.